What Type of Person Would Agree to Have Sex With a Stranger?

[JacksinPA]

What Type of Person Would Agree to Have Sex With a Stranger?

You might not. But many people would, especially men.

www.psychologytoday.com

You might not. But many people would, especially men.

Choosing to have sex with a total stranger is not something everyone would do. It probably takes a certain type of person. Quite a bit of evidence suggests that, at least when it comes to eagerly having sex with strangers, it might also take being a man.

Let's look at the evidence.

Over the last few decades almost all research studies have found that men are much more eager for casual sex than women are (Oliver & Hyde, 1993; Petersen & Hyde, 2010). This is especially true when it comes to desires for short-term mating with many different sexual partners (Schmitt et al., 2003), and is even more true for wanting to have sex with complete and total strangers (Tappé et al., 2013).
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I've had casual sex with strangers at least half a dozen times. I've picked up women in bars & in turn have been picked up by a former Broadway dancer. Some were not technically strangers as we had met either at a mixer or via the local singles exchange.

I don't see most men jumping into bed with a strange woman. But I was single & the world was my oyster. I'd love to do it all over again.

 

[Chomsky]

That's interesting, because it might seem to imply that the women who enjoy sex with strangers are extremely prolific.

Why do I say the above? Because one-night-stands are a very real phenomenon, particularly in the bar scene and younger person party scene. Obviously it takes two to tango, right?

 

[JacksinPA]

That's interesting, because it might seem to imply that the women who enjoy sex with strangers are extremely prolific.

Why do I say the above? Because one-night-stands are a very real phenomenon, particularly in the bar scene and younger person party scene. Obviously it takes two to tango, right?

My experience would indicate that there are likely as many horny women cruising the 'scene' as there are guys.

It's a matter of reading body language ahead of a pickup line. Is she glancing at you? Is she alone or waiting for someone? Do you get 'f*** me please' vibes from her?

In general I found the bar pickup scene to be moderately productive.

 

[Chomsky]

My experience would indicate that there are likely as many horny women cruising the 'scene' as there are guys.

It's a matter of reading body language ahead of a pickup line. Is she glancing at you? Is she alone or waiting for someone? Do you get 'f*** me please' vibes from her?

In general I found the bar pickup scene to be moderately productive.

I still find it interesting the article claims (twice) that no women admit to wanting sex with a stranger, when we know from experience this is not true for at least some women.

 

[JacksinPA]

I still find it interesting the article claims (twice) that no women admit to wanting sex with a stranger, when we know from experience this is not true for at least some women.

No generality is worth a damn. But based on my experience & some earlier posts here by women, I believe that there are a significant percentage of women under 50 or so who want to have casual sex whenever the chance shows itself. It is an intense experience & can be very arousing.

The advent of steroid-based birth control in the 60s freed a lot of women from the natural reluctance to get pregnant with someone they may never see again. That's a pretty bleek prospect.

 

[JacksinPA]

Just browsing the porn site PornHub with the search argument 'pickup stranger' gets you a lot of video choices, many of which seem to be not staged. There's no way of telling for sure as porn is a commercial activity so there's no way of telling. But some look very realistic.

 

[JacksinPA]

9 Tricks to Confidently Pick Up Any Woman

Pick up women with confidence. Use these tips to meet new women and impress them.

www.menshealth.com

Self-confidence is extremely sexy to a woman. In fact, I'd go so far as to say that, more than a man's good looks and more than his gentlemanly manner, confidence is the trigger trait that makes a woman want to get naked.

You remember that scene in Goodfellas when Ray Liotta takes Lorraine Bracco to the Copa? He slips her through the back door, tipping heavies the whole way, chatting up other wiseguys, and finally ending up at a table in front of the stage. Liotta had something much more important than a roll of Franklins: He had confidence. And its effect on Bracco was clear. You knew he was getting laid that night.

"Women want a man with steel balls," says R. Don Steele, without a hint of irony in his voice. Steele is the author of Body Language Secrets: A Guide during Courtship and Dating. "This desire is evolutionary. Females want someone who's not going to run from a fight, a man who is confident in his ability to provide and protect."
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I would agree with this. While traveling on business, I saw the late Howard Cosell at the bar in my hotel. He was in town to cover a basketball game. I had gone to high school with his daughter, so I went over & introduced myself. When I got back to my table, this very attractive woman comes up & asks for my room number. Apparently my sense of confidence had peeked her interest.

 

[Rhakron90]

What Type of Person Would Agree to Have Sex With a Stranger?

You might not. But many people would, especially men.

www.psychologytoday.com

You might not. But many people would, especially men.

Choosing to have sex with a total stranger is not something everyone would do. It probably takes a certain type of person. Quite a bit of evidence suggests that, at least when it comes to eagerly having sex with strangers, it might also take being a man.

Let's look at the evidence.

Over the last few decades almost all research studies have found that men are much more eager for casual sex than women are (Oliver & Hyde, 1993; Petersen & Hyde, 2010). This is especially true when it comes to desires for short-term mating with many different sexual partners (Schmitt et al., 2003), and is even more true for wanting to have sex with complete and total strangers (Tappé et al., 2013).
==================================================================
I've had casual sex with strangers at least half a dozen times. I've picked up women in bars & in turn have been picked up by a former Broadway dancer. Some were not technically strangers as we had met either at a mixer or via the local singles exchange.

I don't see most men jumping into bed with a strange woman. But I was single & the world was my oyster. I'd love to do it all over again.

Is she hot? lol

 

[Checkerboard Strangler]

I was a keyboard player in a moderately successful rock/blues band in the Twin Cities as a young guy back in the Seventies.
Any night, every night, even more than one a night if I wanted.
I think I "got it all out of my system" around age 27 or 28 and began looking for a stable relationship instead.

Women are wired differently but their desire for a hookup is there and while there are plenty who would never actually go for a one night stand with a stranger, there are plenty who would, and it's not a statement of them being slutty, it's just the same sense of adventure, that's all.

It's exciting, that's all.

 

[Dayton3]

Answer to thread title: idiots.

 

[zyzygy]

Answer to thread title: idiots.

Jealousy will get you nowhere.

 

[JoeyJoystick]

I would.

ok, here we go than. I am a sex addict. I love sex. In many of its forms and shapes. Alone, together, with 3 or more. One rule is very important. All people involved have to agree. Nothing ever can be forced against someone's will. Ok, one more rule. I like girls and not boys.

It is of course not just men. There is plenty of women who feel the same way. They may go about it a little differently at times, but it all comes down to the same thing.

But define stranger though. As mentioned before by others, you can meet a stranger at a party or in a bar and decide to hit it of after a few drinks. For most people that is about as strange as it gets. And normally that would be the case for me too.

Sex with really complete strangers I must admit is a little bit unusual, but it has happened on several occasions in the past though. One anecdote is in place here. I was traveling home from China just before Covid-19 started. I had, as usual, a window seat, and there was a Chinese couple sitting next to me. A Chinese girl sitting a few rows in front of me with an empty seat next to her asked the couple to swap places so she could sit next to me. She could not speak a single word of English and I do not speak Chinese either. She asked the stewardess for a blanket because she wanted to 'sleep'. She put the blanket over her and me and gave me a handjob inside the plane under the blanket. That is sex with a stranger. Yes, a handjob is also sex. lol. Even for me, this was a little bit unusual though. But it was a fun experience.

I think it is true that men, more so than women, do not object to casual sex with strangers. But this implies something strange though. Because if there is fewer women that have casual sex than men, than this directly implies that those women that do have casual sex do so with a lot more often than men. That is just simple mathematics, isn't it.

When it comes to relationships it turns problematic. I realized early on that I was not good at being faithful. And since I am incapable of lying this imposed a serious problem. Sure enough when you start a relationship, the questions is going to be asked if we are exclusive. If we are not going to cheat. I have decided a long time ago that I would never make that promise again. I do however make an other promise I can keep. I promise that I will never jeopardize my feelings for my girlfriend. And of course I will nut rub it in her face and di it in our home town. I will never have 2 relationships at the same time either. After I implemented these rules I never had a problem with a girlfriend again and every relationship has ended for different reasons, but not this.

Having said that, I now have a lovely girlfriend. She's simply amazing. We have been together for well over 8 years and we have a beautiful little boy together. No reason to think this relationship will ever end.

Joey.

 

[HonestJoe]

I think a more accurate answer would be "male mammals". We're much closer to our animal nature than we might like to admit and it's a simple biological fact that males have the instinct to breed with as many females as possible since there is little practical limit while females have an instinct to be more selective, since they can can only be pregnant to one male at any given time. Intelligence and society significantly impact our behaviours too, but those basic mammal instincts still remain as key drivers.

 

[Dayton3]

Jealousy will get you nowhere.

Why would I be jealous of something that utterly disgusts me?

 

[Yasureoktoo]

Variety is the spice of life.

 

[danielpalos]

Hypothetically, I lost a bet with my wife and she got a new girl friend involved and informed me I have to be a man of my Word and be a Man about it.

 

[American]

Hypothetically, I lost a bet with my wife and she got a new girl friend involved and informed me I have to be a man of my Word and be a Man about it.

My hero.

 

[Lursa]

That's interesting, because it might seem to imply that the women who enjoy sex with strangers are extremely prolific.

Why do I say the above? Because one-night-stands are a very real phenomenon, particularly in the bar scene and younger person party scene. Obviously it takes two to tango, right?

"Eager for" (from the article) does not = "successfully accomplished"

Could also include paying for it.

 

[danielpalos]

My hero.

Especially if it is about being a man of my word about it.

 

[screenwriter]

What Type of Person Would Agree to Have Sex With a Stranger?

You might not. But many people would, especially men.

www.psychologytoday.com

You might not. But many people would, especially men.

Choosing to have sex with a total stranger is not something everyone would do. It probably takes a certain type of person. Quite a bit of evidence suggests that, at least when it comes to eagerly having sex with strangers, it might also take being a man.

Let's look at the evidence.

Over the last few decades almost all research studies have found that men are much more eager for casual sex than women are (Oliver & Hyde, 1993; Petersen & Hyde, 2010). This is especially true when it comes to desires for short-term mating with many different sexual partners (Schmitt et al., 2003), and is even more true for wanting to have sex with complete and total strangers (Tappé et al., 2013).
==================================================================
I've had casual sex with strangers at least half a dozen times. I've picked up women in bars & in turn have been picked up by a former Broadway dancer. Some were not technically strangers as we had met either at a mixer or via the local singles exchange.

I don't see most men jumping into bed with a strange woman. But I was single & the world was my oyster. I'd love to do it all over again.

Amazing how a degree in Microbiology will put a kabash on the whole random stranger sex thing. I've seen entirely too much of the outcome.

 

[Northern Light]

My understanding is that casual sex without much emotional intimacy or personal connection is mainly pornographic. That is to say, a lot of men look at porn in order to get off, and hooking up is just the physical extension of that. It's objectifying another human being, in the physical flesh. It's devoid of personal meaning and fulfills a base desire. Yes, obviously looking at a screen is different than dealing with a live person... there are diseases to consider, and in my opinion a physical connection is much stronger. You're dealing with smells, sights and sensations you don't get from porn. There's also the benefit of having sexual desires fulfilled without needing to put time into "getting to know you" type stuff. If all you want is sex then that's the point of everything else?

I'm a monogamous type person and my sexuality is very keyed to partnership. Back when I was single, I could go for years without sex in between partnerships. I need strong connection on all levels for sex to feel good. For other people, it doesn't quite work that way. I think our styles are informed by family upbringings. I had a lot of insecure attachment in my early years... love and connection with my parents was inconsistent, so now in my adult relationships I demand a lot more attachment to feel safe.

To answer the OP question more directly, the 'type of person' could be someone who:
- has a very high sex drive (hypersexual) and sex is just a higher priority for them -- could be temporary (i.e. early adulthood) or a permanent feature of who they are
- had a lot of secure attachment growing up, so they don't feel insecure when two ships pass in the night.. they can get a need met without much fuss
- oppositely, has an avoidant attachment style and doesn't WANT to attach to anybody, so casual relations fulfill needs without the need for all the gushy emotional stuff
- is better able to compartmentalize their needs (i.e. just sex from all the other relational stuff) vs. someone like me who is an all-in type of person and can't really help it
- is an addict or neurotic personality type who can't delay gratification
- is on the narcissistic spectrum and need the validation of casual sex partners because keeping it casual means they can project any feel-good story about themselves they want rather than accept relational realities
- is on the antisocial spectrum and people are just objects to them

There are many other reasons, I just thought I'd offer some. Some reasons are very normal and functional while others are pathological.

 

[OpportunityCost]

Jimmy Carr's instant response would be "your mum"

Disclaimer: not aimed at any poster future, past, or present.

 

[Integrityrespec]

What Type of Person Would Agree to Have Sex With a Stranger?

You might not. But many people would, especially men.

www.psychologytoday.com

You might not. But many people would, especially men.

Choosing to have sex with a total stranger is not something everyone would do. It probably takes a certain type of person. Quite a bit of evidence suggests that, at least when it comes to eagerly having sex with strangers, it might also take being a man.

Let's look at the evidence.

Over the last few decades almost all research studies have found that men are much more eager for casual sex than women are (Oliver & Hyde, 1993; Petersen & Hyde, 2010). This is especially true when it comes to desires for short-term mating with many different sexual partners (Schmitt et al., 2003), and is even more true for wanting to have sex with complete and total strangers (Tappé et al., 2013).
==================================================================
I've had casual sex with strangers at least half a dozen times. I've picked up women in bars & in turn have been picked up by a former Broadway dancer. Some were not technically strangers as we had met either at a mixer or via the local singles exchange.

I don't see most men jumping into bed with a strange woman. But I was single & the world was my oyster. I'd love to do it all over again.

So funny. Yeah, you have all these men ready to run out and have casual sex with a stranger, and there is one woman doing it with all of them because women don't have casual sex. LOL.

 

[screenwriter]

Variety is the spice of life.

So is herpes and HIV

 

[JacksinPA]

Amazing how a degree in Microbiology will put a kabash on the whole random stranger sex thing. I've seen entirely too much of the outcome.

I must be extremely lucky in that regard because of more than a couple of dozen flesh-on-flesh contacts I've had over the years. What are the odds? These were all strangers.