What is the ideal age gap between husband and wife?

[SDET]

I was just watching a video asserting that the difference needs to be 6-8 years because it creates a mentoring relationship that puts the man as the leader. Do you agree? This all excludes the notion of marrying a minor.

 

[calamity]

I was just watching a video asserting that the difference needs to be 6-8 years because it creates a mentoring relationship that puts the man as the leader. Do you agree? This all excludes the notion of marrying a minor.

I don't know. At 55, I'd say a 30-year difference sounds about right.

 

[Bum]

I was just watching a video asserting that the difference needs to be 6-8 years because it creates a mentoring relationship that puts the man as the leader. Do you agree? This all excludes the notion of marrying a minor.

No, I do not.

But I have been known to be extremely radical in my marriage.....I prefer a partnership, and choose not to place an arbitrary number on "ideal".


My wife has two years on me, oddly, its never been an issue.

 

[FieldTheorist]

I was just watching a video asserting that the difference needs to be 6-8 years because it creates a mentoring relationship that puts the man as the leader. Do you agree? This all excludes the notion of marrying a minor.

Whoever argued that seems like they'd have some issue with power-dynamics or ego/self-esteem issues.


I couldn't care less, I don't intend to marry, to be honest. I think studies have shown that people tend to stay married longer with a 5 year age gap, but I suspect that this is due to a lot of men's sexual appeal coming from social status, wealth, etc. So a man at age 30 is starting to have an upswinng in their sexual attractiveness, or at least studies suggest, whereas women who are under the age of 30 are at their most attractive (or at least studies suggest this to be true).

 

[Superfly]

There is no ideal age gap. Whatever works for you, works. :shrug:

There is a larger age gap between my husband and myself, and we have been happily married for 23 years.

And he is not the "leader" of the family, nor am I - we work together. We compromise. That's what most successful marriages do.

 

[PLizzy]

There is no ideal age gap. Whatever works for you, works. :shrug:

There is a larger age gap between my husband and myself, and we have been happily married for 23 years.

And he is not the "leader" of the family, nor am I - we work together. We compromise. That's what most successful marriages do.

I thought I saw you guys the other night!

 

[gulfman]

I don't know. At 55, I'd say a 30-year difference sounds about right.

An 85 year old woman would be just about right

 

[joko104]

This is not a political topic.

Ages should be proportional. While there may be a significant age gap assuming one of the two is not a barely legal youth, to great an age gap is problematical, particularly if young children and/or a baby are going to come into the picture.

See no reason to debate you on the man inherently as the leader.

 

[Angel]

Ideally, there should be no age gap at all. The newlyweds should be exactly the same age, down to the day and hour of birth. That's the only way marriage makes any sense at all.

 

[Puigb]

Depends on the people, in all honesty. I know a couple where the husband is 18 years older, and they seem to be very happy. But right now he is 45 I believe, and her I think 27, so that COULD change when she's in her 40's (and still relatively young), and he's in his 60's, but who knows.

 

[Puigb]

I don't know. At 55, I'd say a 30-year difference sounds about right.

You cradle robber you...

 

[Chomsky]

Does anyone remember the old "halve and add 7", and "double and subtract 7" rules?

They're very old and very old-school rules:

1] A women subtracts 7, then doubles, to find the oldest man she should date.

2] A man halves his age, then adds 7, to find the youngest women he should date.

So for example,

a 27 yo women should not go above 40 --> (27-7) * 2

And in like manner,

a 40 yo guy should not go below 27 --> (40/2) + 7

Interesting stuff!

 

[Chomsky]

I don't know. At 55, I'd say a 30-year difference sounds about right.

Nope. At 55, the rule (post #12) says she's got to be at least 34 (and a half)! :2razz:

 

[tecoyah]

I was just watching a video asserting that the difference needs to be 6-8 years because it creates a mentoring relationship that puts the man as the leader. Do you agree? This all excludes the notion of marrying a minor.

In my experience Maturity evolves more quickly in females but until it does they can be....uh...difficult. Personally I would say a woman should be 5-10 years older than the male.

 

[Logician Man]

There is no ideal age gap. Whatever works for you, works. :shrug:

There is a larger age gap between my husband and myself, and we have been happily married for 23 years.

And he is not the "leader" of the family, nor am I - we work together. We compromise. That's what most successful marriages do.

My younger daughter ( 37 ) is 21 years younger than her hubby. ( He's 6 1/2 ) years younger than me. They have a great marriage, but I do razz them both about what they're gonna do, or not do, when she's 55 and he is 76. They both just laugh. I'm 19 days older than my wife,and that's worked out well also for almost 50 years. Each to his/her own.

 

[haymarket]

I don't know. At 55, I'd say a 30-year difference sounds about right.

But at some point you have to talk to her. And I imagine that would be rather difficult.

But the benefits are obvious.

 

[KevinKohler]

Personality doesn't have an age.

 

[Quag]

Stupid question there is no ideal age gap, whatever works for you and your spouse is fine.
A good marriage has no "leader" it is a joining of two equals who work together to have a great life.

 

[Fletch]

I don't know. At 55, I'd say a 30-year difference sounds about right.

You and I are the exact same age and I was thinking the exact same thing. I am going back to bed, because any more agreement between you and I could cause the Earth to leave its orbit and go hurtling through space

 

[DH Kirkwood]

I was just watching a video asserting that the difference needs to be 6-8 years because it creates a mentoring relationship that puts the man as the leader. Do you agree? This all excludes the notion of marrying a minor.

I would say that I would absolutely disagree with a video that thinks that a mentoring relationship is ideal for a marriage,

There's no magic number for everyone and every couple. Some people are more mature than others. I can't say, with confidence that a twenty+ year difference is always inappropriate, but it would seem that far more narrow age-gaps are what most often works. To each their own. If two adults are interested in each other, then go for it, see what happens.

 

[blarg]

I was just watching a video asserting that the difference needs to be 6-8 years because it creates a mentoring relationship that puts the man as the leader. Do you agree? This all excludes the notion of marrying a minor.

oh its just sdet

 

[calamity]

You and I are the exact same age and I was thinking the exact same thing. I am going back to bed, because any more agreement between you and I could cause the Earth to leave its orbit and go hurtling through space

:lol:

 

[calamity]

But at some point you have to talk to her. And I imagine that would be rather difficult.

But the benefits are obvious.

That would definitely be a “live in the moment” kind of relationship.

 

[noonereal]

I was just watching a video asserting that the difference needs to be 6-8 years because it creates a mentoring relationship that puts the man as the leader. Do you agree? This all excludes the notion of marrying a minor.

My advise, throw the video in the garbage and try to forget you watched it. The guy is obviously a Trumpet mentality moron.

Why do you not offer a category for the women to be older than the man?

 

[noonereal]

I was just watching a video asserting that the difference needs to be 6-8 years because it creates a mentoring relationship that puts the man as the leader. Do you agree? This all excludes the notion of marrying a minor.

Oh, and what does this even mean? "It should be proportional"