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What is a good age to die?

What if it meant you kept aging, but just never died? I'm thinking life gets pretty grim by the time you hit 300 and you're looking like Yoda with leprosy.
I have several centenarians on both sides of my family. Within that bunch are some incredibly positive people. Even with those, life seems to begin early stages of grim-ness at 85-90.
 
My Farther passed a few years ago at 95, and watching this from the outside, there was a lot of decline
between 90 and 95, a lot more illness, and much lower quality of life.
From that observation, I don't think I would like being around much past 90.
90 would give me a chance to see all the Grandkids finish collage and start their lives,
and my own children retire. I would like to think I could pass on sage advice, but suspect
they will just nod and smile, because they are polite!
 
There is, but it is very difficult to determine it.
One of my favorite quips comes from a Bruce Dern movie, Posse.

"Every day above ground is a good day." But then, it's only a movie. Some years ago while hospitalized for late stage nonHodgkins Lymphoma one of the oncologist interns asked how I kept up a calm and determined attitude. Fixed on my left side to ease my breathing, I answered, "Every day above ground is a good day." (Thanks, Bruce.) Now I have a new cancer and I feel the same way about the disease and my life (between CT scans every six months.)

Everyone's mileage may vary.
 
I have several centenarians on both sides of my family. Within that bunch are some incredibly positive people. Even with those, life seems to begin early stages of grim-ness at 85-90.

I once watched a documentary where they talked to centenarians from all over the world and when asked what the hardest thing about being 100 years old, pretty much to a person they said it was losing everyone around them. Your spouse, your siblings, everyone you grew up with, probably even some of your children - by the time you hit 100, you've probably seen them all die. That takes a toll, no matter how positive your outlook. I can't imagine what it'd be like to be immortal and have to go through that time after time.
 
Its one of the horrors of being human, we can contemplate our own mortality. Religion was born out of this harsh reality.

The idea that everything I was or could be will be gone when I die is not something the weak deal with very well.

For others who see reality more for what it is, its leaving a mark after they die, a legacy that counts.

I do think nature has a way of lessening the burden of death as we age. They naturally learn how take life one day at a time.
 
I once watched a documentary where they talked to centenarians from all over the world and when asked what the hardest thing about being 100 years old, pretty much to a person they said it was losing everyone around them. Your spouse, your siblings, everyone you grew up with, probably even some of your children - by the time you hit 100, you've probably seen them all die. That takes a toll, no matter how positive your outlook. I can't imagine what it'd be like to be immortal and have to go through that time after time.
I'm 78 and I've seen a lot of that happen already, its a lonely, isolated feeling.
 
I'm 78 and I've seen a lot of that happen already, its a lonely, isolated feeling.

I'm sorry to hear that, gboisjo. I'm probably fast coming up on the stage where life stops giving and starts taking myself. Everyone has to find their own way, I guess... but I find the older I get, the more I find myself turning to Marcus Aurelius' Meditations. Reality is what it is, and there's nothing we can do about that. All that's within our power is how we respond to it.
 
You must have at some point stumbled on the secret to life. :) As to myself my mood mirrors to a t that of the Ecclesistic in the Bible.

I think we all hold that "secret" within us, Juin.

Some of us hold a child-like curiosity & interest as to what every day may hold for us, what joy or new knowledge or new experience it may bring? My grandfather was exactly like that, and he was a strong influence on me.

My grandfather never lost that childlike enthusiasm for the secrets and experiences every new day may hold & reveal. Every day for him was a new place to go or see, or a new activity to try. And during his retirement when I was not in school, he took me with him wherever his adventures called. In fact, it was this same need for adventure that brought him to America at the age of sixteen, starting our family in the New World, a place filled with new things & new possibilities waiting to be discovered.

His infectious personality rubbed-off on me.

--

But also,

In the external sense, I also believe the secret is to surround yourself with people you love and who love you.

--

A confirming example of why I can say all the above so adamantly & confidently, actually just occurred over the weekend. In total happenstance serendipity, by a lucky random chance crossing of paths & events, a person from my childhood came back into my life - and was overjoyed to see me.

Despite my strong childhood feelings towards this person, I thought they had spurned me way back then. They had simply disappeared. Never to be heard from again. It turns-out we became separated due to their family events beyond their control. But they had always had the same strong feelings & longing I did. But, without any contact between us I never knew this.

The mutual loss of our childhood relationship was an unresolved conflict for me, even as I grew over it and it receded into the shadows of my mind & soul. But this weekend it came back to the forefront, and was joyously resolved! We spent the entire evening wrapped in discussion, proclaiming the tragically cut-off mutual childhood joy we had for each other, the current joy we we now had for finding each-other again, and the wonderment of the chance coming back together after a long lifetime of separated years! Our story of separation and reuniting could make a published short-story!

I am still riding a high over our reunification, and knowing that we will now remain part of each-others' lives going forward!

And that, Juin, is why I greet every day excitedly for the wonderment it may hold for me!

--

tl;dr hold childlike wonderment at the opportunity for the discoveries and unexpected joys each day may reveal, and surround yourself with those you love and love you
 
Excellent article, well worth the read with some useful statistics persuading me that aiming for 60 might be better than 50 :unsure:

"At 75 and beyond, I will need a good reason to even visit the doctor and take any medical test or treatment, no matter how routine and painless. And that good reason is not “It will prolong your life.” I will stop getting any regular preventive tests, screenings, or interventions. I will accept only palliative—not curative—treatments if I am suffering pain or other disability.​
"This means colonoscopies and other cancer-screening tests are out—and before 75. If I were diagnosed with cancer now, at 57, I would probably be treated, unless the prognosis was very poor. But 65 will be my last colonoscopy. No screening for prostate cancer at any age. (When a urologist gave me a PSA test even after I said I wasn’t interested and called me with the results, I hung up before he could tell me. He ordered the test for himself, I told him, not for me.) After 75, if I develop cancer, I will refuse treatment. Similarly, no cardiac stress test. No pacemaker and certainly no implantable defibrillator. No heart-valve replacement or bypass surgery. If I develop emphysema or some similar disease that involves frequent exacerbations that would, normally, land me in the hospital, I will accept treatment to ameliorate the discomfort caused by the feeling of suffocation, but will refuse to be hauled off.​
"What about simple stuff? Flu shots are out. Certainly if there were to be a flu pandemic, a younger person who has yet to live a complete life ought to get the vaccine or any antiviral drugs. A big challenge is antibiotics for pneumonia or skin and urinary infections. Antibiotics are cheap and largely effective in curing infections. It is really hard for us to say no. Indeed, even people who are sure they don’t want life-extending treatments find it hard to refuse antibiotics. But, as Osler reminds us, unlike the decays associated with chronic conditions, death from these infections is quick and relatively painless. So, no to antibiotics."​

#####


I've seen enough of my mother caring for her parents to hope that she feels the same way :LOL: Terrible thing to say out loud, and if it comes to it I'll probably end up doing the right thing, but I imagine not many people particularly want to care for their elders. Retirement homes wouldn't be so numerous if they did.
It depends on individual circumstances. I've gone 14 years beyond your 75 deadline - an apt word here) and don't regret it, so cheer up. Your gloom overdose in unjustified. Life is worth living if one can still be of service to others.
 
Nice, thoughtful post.

My father turned 90 back in March. My mother passed away at 86 a year and a half ago. He still drives, but only to the places he knows how to get to and get home from, even though he has navigation in his Infinity. He has his routine- has morning coffee, smokes a few cigarettes throughout the day and evening, reads the paper, and watches Royals games and every crime show on television. He keeps up on the laundry. His short term memory is very poor, and his long term memory is hazy when it comes to remembering people. He writes himself notes and he’s lost without his calendar. He does remember most personal events like when he was growing up, when he served in the Navy, etc. He was always a great story teller.

He’ll never leave his townhouse. Take him out somewhere else, and he gets real confused. My brother lives with him, but it’s becoming more difficult. Dad is frail and has taken a few falls. But he can manage himself in his own place. Outside of aches and pains, no real physical issues. His blood pressure has always been normal.

He’s a tough old guy, and it’s hard watching him decline like this. But when I call him, he’s still cheerful on the phone. I’m heading to Kansas City to spend a couple of days with him.

My sisters, brother, and I figure he’ll go when he’s ready. It still may be a few years away. Hopefully, peacefully in his sleep.

Your father sounds like a jewel, and in my humble opinion you could do far worse than trying to emulate him!

I'd also add that your parents being so long-lived bodes well for you. You're a lucky man on multiple fronts.
 
Excellent article, well worth the read with some useful statistics persuading me that aiming for 60 might be better than 50 :unsure:

"At 75 and beyond, I will need a good reason to even visit the doctor and take any medical test or treatment, no matter how routine and painless. And that good reason is not “It will prolong your life.” I will stop getting any regular preventive tests, screenings, or interventions. I will accept only palliative—not curative—treatments if I am suffering pain or other disability."This means colonoscopies and other cancer-screening tests are out—and before 75. If I were diagnosed with cancer now, at 57, I would probably be treated, unless the prognosis was very poor. But 65 will be my last colonoscopy. No screening for prostate cancer at any age. (When a urologist gave me a PSA test even after I said I wasn’t interested and called me with the results, I hung up before he could tell me. He ordered the test for himself, I told him, not for me.) After 75, if I develop cancer, I will refuse treatment. Similarly, no cardiac stress test. No pacemaker and certainly no implantable defibrillator. No heart-valve replacement or bypass surgery. If I develop emphysema or some similar disease that involves frequent exacerbations that would, normally, land me in the hospital, I will accept treatment to ameliorate the discomfort caused by the feeling of suffocation, but will refuse to be hauled off."What about simple stuff? Flu shots are out. Certainly if there were to be a flu pandemic, a younger person who has yet to live a complete life ought to get the vaccine or any antiviral drugs. A big challenge is antibiotics for pneumonia or skin and urinary infections. Antibiotics are cheap and largely effective in curing infections. It is really hard for us to say no. Indeed, even people who are sure they don’t want life-extending treatments find it hard to refuse antibiotics. But, as Osler reminds us, unlike the decays associated with chronic conditions, death from these infections is quick and relatively painless. So, no to antibiotics."

That's something to think about. I'm 72 now, not far from 73, so I wonder how I'll feel about that when I turn 74 or 75..... I do think there will come a time when I will stop having tests, but it's hard to imagine at 75 - at least right now. I fully intend to keep getting flu, covid and shingles vaccines.... There are cancers that are pretty curable if caught earlyI enough. Colon cancer being one of them. I think my next colonoscopy is due in 2026. I do wonder at what age I will not want life extending treatment.
 
Before I become a burden to my son.

Having cared for my own parents and now my in laws - I don’t ever want my son to have to deal with it or be burdened by having to care for me.

Without attempting or intending to be harsh, while you may think the bolded - your son may not.
 
Excellent article, well worth the read with some useful statistics persuading me that aiming for 60 might be better than 50 :unsure:

"At 75 and beyond, I will need a good reason to even visit the doctor and take any medical test or treatment, no matter how routine and painless. And that good reason is not “It will prolong your life.” I will stop getting any regular preventive tests, screenings, or interventions. I will accept only palliative—not curative—treatments if I am suffering pain or other disability.​
"This means colonoscopies and other cancer-screening tests are out—and before 75. If I were diagnosed with cancer now, at 57, I would probably be treated, unless the prognosis was very poor. But 65 will be my last colonoscopy. No screening for prostate cancer at any age. (When a urologist gave me a PSA test even after I said I wasn’t interested and called me with the results, I hung up before he could tell me. He ordered the test for himself, I told him, not for me.) After 75, if I develop cancer, I will refuse treatment. Similarly, no cardiac stress test. No pacemaker and certainly no implantable defibrillator. No heart-valve replacement or bypass surgery. If I develop emphysema or some similar disease that involves frequent exacerbations that would, normally, land me in the hospital, I will accept treatment to ameliorate the discomfort caused by the feeling of suffocation, but will refuse to be hauled off.​
"What about simple stuff? Flu shots are out. Certainly if there were to be a flu pandemic, a younger person who has yet to live a complete life ought to get the vaccine or any antiviral drugs. A big challenge is antibiotics for pneumonia or skin and urinary infections. Antibiotics are cheap and largely effective in curing infections. It is really hard for us to say no. Indeed, even people who are sure they don’t want life-extending treatments find it hard to refuse antibiotics. But, as Osler reminds us, unlike the decays associated with chronic conditions, death from these infections is quick and relatively painless. So, no to antibiotics."​

#####


I've seen enough of my mother caring for her parents to hope that she feels the same way :LOL: Terrible thing to say out loud, and if it comes to it I'll probably end up doing the right thing, but I imagine not many people particularly want to care for their elders. Retirement homes wouldn't be so numerous if they did.

That we have retirement homes does not necessarily mean we do not want our parents cared for, alive, and with us. It may simply mean we do not have the physical ability to personally meet their needs.

So, we place them in the hands of those that can provide their proper care. We do the same with admitting injured family members to hospitals & clinics.
 
Depends on the quality of life, I guess?

I've seen a 100 year old man still marching at the vets parade! Attending family get-togethers.
A couple of days before he died (107 years old)....................he even asked me to make him a favorite dish.

If this gentleman's personal life was as satisfactory as his physical life, one couldn't ask for a better deal! (y)
 
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And at what age might that be? 10? 20? . . . 99?

Life threatening afflictions happen at any age. I hope to be among those who see it as an interruption, "I still got things to do." But current health and hospitalizations make me fully aware I could at the flip of a switch find myself among those feeling relief. Your mileage may vary.

I can't imagine a day coming when I ever could say, "I've got nothing left to do".

There may come a day when there may not be another buck needing to be made, or a house to buy or furnish, or a bride to marry, or a child to be birthed.

But I can never imagine a day coming when there isn't something I want to learn, or someone I want to spend time with, or someone I want help.
 
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