What a turn off

Gipper · Oct 18, 2013

SmokeAndMirrors said:
It can work with less attractive guys, but you've got to be starting with a woman whose sense of attraction isn't purely physical. Like their male counterparts, those kinds of women are more interesting and smarter anyway.

Aaaand I suppose this is where your older woman thing comes from, now that I think of it. I won't deny the younger stock -- of either sex -- is rather superficial.

At a bar, you're not likely to meet women (or men, if you're a woman) like that. In the bar game, it's strictly numbers. Nines go home with nines. Sixes go home with sixes. Now if you have some good immediate game, you can swing the numbers your way favorably (albeit slightly), but a 4 isn't going home with a 9, even if he has a tongue so silver that jewelers would grade it.

I've always been able to attract women that are probably somewhat not in my league, but that's because of my ability to talk to them. However, there are limits. I'm not going home with the prom queen, no matter what game I spit.

Gipper · Oct 18, 2013

sangha said:
No, you didn't get it

You're not confident if you think your attractiveness to women is dependent on your physical appearance and you think you don't have the looks.

It's a bar. I need more than 15 minutes to work my charm. If there are guys that can turn the tables THAT much, THAT quickly, then they put me to shame and I have no problem admitting it.

Besides, I'm a much better wingman.

sangha · Oct 18, 2013

Gipper said:
At a bar, you're not likely to meet women (or men, if you're a woman) like that.

And in the streets of NYC, you're not likely to see an elk. That's why elk hunters don't hunt in the streets of NYC.

There are plenty of other "hunting grounds"

Gipper said:
It's a bar.

It's a bar. In a bar. Bar, bar, bar, bar, bar

The world is a bigger place than that

Un biased · Oct 18, 2013

People who say something and use nothing to support their argument or really understand why they believe something . Also people who don't like guinea pigs or hamster's ( because they are cute and amazing furry creatures )

Gipper · Oct 18, 2013

sangha said:
And in the streets of NYC, you're not likely to see an elk. That's why elk hunters don't hunt in the streets of NYC.

There are plenty of other "hunting grounds"

It's a bar. In a bar. Bar, bar, bar, bar, bar

The world is a bigger place than that

There are PlentyOfFish in the sea.

sangha · Oct 18, 2013

Gipper said:
There are PlentyOfFish in the sea.

And it's not the only body of water, either

SmokeAndMirrors · Oct 18, 2013

Gipper said:
At a bar, you're not likely to meet women (or men, if you're a woman) like that. In the bar game, it's strictly numbers. Nines go home with nines. Sixes go home with sixes. Now if you have some good immediate game, you can swing the numbers your way favorably (albeit slightly), but a 4 isn't going home with a 9, even if he has a tongue so silver that jewelers would grade it.

I've always been able to attract women that are probably somewhat not in my league, but that's because of my ability to talk to them. However, there are limits. I'm not going home with the prom queen, no matter what game I spit.

I suppose that's true. Going over the men who've approached me in bars, most of them were near my own attractiveness level.

I guess that just isn't where I look, when I want sex but not necessarily romance. Like I said, all risk and no gain, to me.

Gipper · Oct 18, 2013

SmokeAndMirrors said:
I suppose that's true. Going over the men who've approached me in bars, most of them were near my own attractiveness level.

I guess that just isn't where I look, when I want sex but not necessarily romance. Like I said, all risk and no gain, to me.

I hope nobody is stupid enough to look for romance in a bar.

SmokeAndMirrors · Oct 18, 2013

Gipper said:
I hope nobody is stupid enough to look for romance in a bar.

Oh, lots of people are that stupid.

Another good thing about going for a less random pool if you want casual sex: you have a good working idea, right out the gate, of whether they can actually handle the concept of sex (and possibly friendship) without trying to turn it into a relationship, and whether their attraction to you has romantic elements or not.

Gipper · Oct 18, 2013

SmokeAndMirrors said:
Oh, lots of people are that stupid.

Another good thing about going for a less random pool if you want casual sex: you have a good working idea, right out the gate, of whether they can actually handle the concept of sex (and possibly friendship) without trying to turn it into a relationship, and whether their attraction to you has romantic elements or not.

Try being a guy. I've had some POAs get all relationship-y on me before.

SmokeAndMirrors · Oct 18, 2013

Gipper said:
Try being a guy. I've had some POAs get all relationship-y on me before.

You'd be surprised how often guys do the same.

Gipper · Oct 18, 2013

SmokeAndMirrors said:
You'd be surprised how often guys do the same.

Actually I probably wouldn't. It's definitely not unheard of. Never happened to me, but I know of some it has happened to.

sangha · Oct 18, 2013

Gipper said:
Try being a guy. I've had some POAs get all relationship-y on me before.

Cut them some slack! You can't blame them for wanting more of the G-Rod than you were willing to give

SmokeAndMirrors · Oct 18, 2013

Gipper said:
Actually I probably wouldn't. It's definitely not unheard of. Never happened to me, but I know of some it has happened to.

Most of my FWB-type things end well. They end because someone moved, someone wanted to get into a relationship with someone else, or it just ran its course. But it's never ended because I tried to turn it into a relationship. If I think there's a risk of me wanting to go there, I just don't get involved in the first place.

However, it's ended because the guy tried to do that a couple of times. One at least had the decency to own himself and bow out. The other pretty much destroyed our friendship.

Gipper · Oct 18, 2013

sangha said:
Cut them some slack! You can't blame them for wanting more of the G-Rod than you were willing to give

Good point, but it's not that. They just think, for some strange reason, that I'm the "candy and flowers" guy. For the life of me, I can't figure out where they get that idea.

sangha · Oct 18, 2013

Gipper said:
Good point, but it's not that. They just think, for some strange reason, that I'm the "candy and flowers" guy. For the life of me, I can't figure out where they get that idea.

I admit...I'm stumped too :shrug:

Gipper · Oct 18, 2013

SmokeAndMirrors said:
Most of my FWB-type things end well. They end because someone moved, someone wanted to get into a relationship with someone else, or it just ran its course. But it's never ended because I tried to turn it into a relationship. If I think there's a risk of me wanting to go there, I just don't get involved in the first place.

However, it's ended because the guy tried to do that a couple of times. One at least had the decency to own himself and bow out. The other pretty much destroyed our friendship.

I've always gotten the hint in that situation - plus I'm allergic to effort, so wasting time on someone that doesn't want me anymore seems rather inefficient.

Superfly · Oct 18, 2013

SmokeAndMirrors said:
I don't know if I really skew either way when it comes to what activities I enjoy, or necessary who I talk to.

The most interesting thing to me is actually talking to people. I find both men and women in groups spend most of their time talking about sex, but it has a different tilt to it with guys. One thing I think not very many women appreciate for what it is. The appreciative and romantic is a little more sexually tinted, and I think some women write that off as superficial. It really isn't.

But it's interesting even after all these years of marriage, your husband is still kinda hanging on to this idea that you're going to want to doll it up.

The sentiment is very sweet though.

He should know better. :lol: Maybe he keeps hoping that I'll end up like June Cleaver or something, but that ain't gonna happen.

Gathomas88 · Oct 18, 2013

sangha said:
As a solid 3, I have to say that this has not been my experience

Sounds like you're not as confident as you suggested you are.

sangha said:
No, you didn't get it

You're not confident if you think your attractiveness to women is dependent on your physical appearance and you think you don't have the looks.

Says the guy who claims to still own several businesses in spite of apparently being rich enough to retire early.

Gipper said:
So I'm not confident unless I go the "God's gift" route. Gotcha.

Yea... Sangha generally seems to linger under the mistaken impression that, just because he happens to live an atypically lucky and privileged life, anyone who doesn't must simply not be trying hard enough. :roll:

He's surprisingly "Randian" in that regard, for being such an apparent ultra-Liberal.

sangha · Oct 18, 2013

Gathomas88 said:
Yea... Sangha generally seems to linger under the mistaken impression that, just because he happens to live an atypically lucky and privileged life, anyone who doesn't must simply not be trying hard enough. :roll:

He's surprisingly "Randian" in that regard, for being such an apparent ultra-Liberal.

Little Known Fact:

While The Fountainhead and Atlas Shrugged were tedious and shallow, her How to Pick Up Girls was incredibly effective

Gathomas88 · Oct 18, 2013

sangha said:
Little Known Fact:

While The Fountainhead and Atlas Shrugged were tedious and shallow, her How to Pick Up Girls was incredibly effective

There is a difference between offering "constructive criticism," and simply telling the peasants beneath one's feet to "eat cake."

On an almost universal basis, you tend to engage in the latter.

lizzie · Oct 18, 2013

Gipper said:
Good point, but it's not that. They just think, for some strange reason, that I'm the "candy and flowers" guy. For the life of me, I can't figure out where they get that idea.

I can't either. :lol: They must be wishful thinking.

Gipper · Oct 20, 2013

lizzie said:
I can't either. :lol: They must be wishful thinking.

As long as they keep rubbing the lamp, they can make wishes.

What a turn off

Salty, defiant, and completely non-compliant.

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