Many share your frustration, and its been very clear that stubborn reluctance by the major members of NATO (US, Germany, France, and even the UK) can and, if it continues, will lose the this war. While the recent support of Nato countries sending heavy weapons has finally been okayed on a "bi-lateral" basis most of the major members explicitly or implicitly are interested in forcing Ukraine into major compromise, losing large parts of Ukraine in order to keep Putin's and Russia's ego intact. The following is the best short analysis I have read to date:
NATO allies quietly debate: Does Russia need to lose? – HotAir
Nato allies never gave Ukraine a chance and has been supplying Ukraine like it was a giant insurgency group, rather than a conventional military that could win this war. The prospect of Ukraine winning has the weak sisters of Nato, the usual clay footed weasels, nervously trying to justify their allergic reaction to victory.
The Baltics and Poland know their enemy, and have none of our western liberal illusions. If you touch a King you must kill him. Let Putin survive and he will be back, stronger than ever with oil money financing it. They understand, as we do not, that this is a unique opportunity to finish off Putin.
"Central European members like Poland and the Baltic states want a total break with Moscow and an effort to bring Russia to its knees, two senior Western officials said. They worry that anything that Russia can present as a victory will do serious damage to European security.
... Countries like France, Germany and Turkey want to keep contacts with Russia’s president, Vladimir V. Putin, regardless of the allegations of war crimes committed by his troops, the officials said…
Some countries, especially in Central Europe and including Britain, are anxious that any sort of Russian expansion into Ukrainian territory, let alone a Russian victory, would embolden Mr. Putin...they want Russia to be seen as the loser.
The US should be expected to lead and forge such a coalition, as did Bush Sr. But it would have required a clear headed and resolute President who understood, as did Bush Sr., what was at stake, without shades of gray. It would have required a President who had the courage of FDR to push for an arsenal of democracy to all the victims of Axis aggression, and an Executive who would appear before the UN general assembly making his case on behalf of punishing this outrage. It would have required real leadership.
We don't have that, we have Joe Biden. And the only way to make Biden move is to take his political food bowl away, for Congress to speak with one voice. For Congress to lead and let a challenged President tag along. We simply don't have someone in the oval office made of the right stuff.
For Ukraine there is "No substitute for Putin's defeat". And in the long run, there isn't one for us either.