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The Advantages of Arranged Marriages

Dayton3

Dayton3

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I posted (and of course got excoriated for it) that "arranged marriages were underrated".

By "arranged marriages" I'm talking about when two families arrange for people of marrying age to get married.

Now everyone assumes that the people involved do not and will not love each other. This isn't necessarily true. Most couples are not "in love" when they first meet. It is something that simply develops over time. But to me it seems obvious that arranged marriages have some notable advantages.

1) The couples will tend to come from common backgrounds and have common values.
2) The couple benefit from both extended families literally pulling for them to have a successful marriage. This is a vastly underrated asset to a marriage.

To me, Americans are too "in love" with the idea of "romantic love" when they should rate having a broad range of things in common much more highly.
 
Dayton3 said:
I posted (and of course got excoriated for it) that "arranged marriages were underrated".

By "arranged marriages" I'm talking about when two families arrange for people of marrying age to get married.

Now everyone assumes that the people involved do not and will not love each other. This isn't necessarily true. Most couples are not "in love" when they first meet. It is something that simply develops over time. But to me it seems obvious that arranged marriages have some notable advantages.

1) The couples will tend to come from common backgrounds and have common values.
2) The couple benefit from both extended families literally pulling for them to have a successful marriage. This is a vastly underrated asset to a marriage.

To me, Americans are too "in love" with the idea of "romantic love" when they should rate having a broad range of things in common much more highly.
Click to expand...
So have someone arrange your marriage. No one is stopping you.
 
Dating is expensive and a lot of work but having your family pick someone for you just about guarantees there won't be any spark or passion, at least for the first decade of marriage.
 
Dayton3 said:
I posted (and of course got excoriated for it) that "arranged marriages were underrated".

By "arranged marriages" I'm talking about when two families arrange for people of marrying age to get married.

Now everyone assumes that the people involved do not and will not love each other. This isn't necessarily true. Most couples are not "in love" when they first meet. It is something that simply develops over time. But to me it seems obvious that arranged marriages have some notable advantages.

1) The couples will tend to come from common backgrounds and have common values.
2) The couple benefit from both extended families literally pulling for them to have a successful marriage. This is a vastly underrated asset to a marriage.

To me, Americans are too "in love" with the idea of "romantic love" when they should rate having a broad range of things in common much more highly.
Click to expand...


It is wonderful that your arranged marriage worked for you. Hope you are able to have many more happy years together with your spouse.

Sadly though having family pick a husband or wife for you doesn't mean it will be a happy marriage and they will stay together under obligation rather then love.
 
briar rose said:
Sadly though having family pick a husband or wife for you doesn't mean it will be a happy marriage and they will stay together under obligation rather then love.
Click to expand...
Neither does picking your spouse all on your own.
 
dmpi said:
Dating is expensive and a lot of work but having your family pick someone for you just about guarantees there won't be any spark or passion, at least for the first decade of marriage.
Click to expand...
"spark" is vastly overrated.
 
Geez... I once (foolishly) let my old man fix me up on a date with an intern at the radio station he worked at. What a bizarre drama-filled three-ring circus that was. Turns out our "date" was really a disguise for a freelance newspaper exposé story she wanted to write about a ballroom dance company she used to work for, and didn't leave on the best of terms... so it was kind of awkward when we showed up there. Then somehow, Randy "Macho Man" Savage showed up (don't ask)... and during the course of the evening she lets it slip that she'd been having an affair with the Lieutenant Governor. Hooookay then.

Anyways, last I heard of her, there was a APB out for her because she went missing or something. I think she got committed when they eventually found her.

Dad always took unjustified pride in his "matchmaking" skills... after Lisa, I wasn't having any part of that.
 
Yup, because some 90 year old pervert marrying. 13 year old parishioner’s daughter was never a source of abuse…
 
The 1950s called, they want their "arranged" (i.e. forced) marriages back.
 
Dayton3 said:
I posted (and of course got excoriated for it) that "arranged marriages were underrated".

By "arranged marriages" I'm talking about when two families arrange for people of marrying age to get married.

Now everyone assumes that the people involved do not and will not love each other. This isn't necessarily true. Most couples are not "in love" when they first meet. It is something that simply develops over time. But to me it seems obvious that arranged marriages have some notable advantages.

1) The couples will tend to come from common backgrounds and have common values.
2) The couple benefit from both extended families literally pulling for them to have a successful marriage. This is a vastly underrated asset to a marriage.

To me, Americans are too "in love" with the idea of "romantic love" when they should rate having a broad range of things in common much more highly.
Click to expand...
I'm only OK with arranged marriages if the two people getting married both willingly and without any form of coercion agree to it.

Under no other circumstances is it acceptable.
 
The Mark said:
I'm only OK with arranged marriages if the two people getting married both willingly and without any form of coercion agree to it.

Under no other circumstances is it acceptable.
Click to expand...

I thought that was implied.
 
Dayton3 said:
I posted (and of course got excoriated for it) that "arranged marriages were underrated".

By "arranged marriages" I'm talking about when two families arrange for people of marrying age to get married.

Now everyone assumes that the people involved do not and will not love each other. This isn't necessarily true. Most couples are not "in love" when they first meet. It is something that simply develops over time. But to me it seems obvious that arranged marriages have some notable advantages.

1) The couples will tend to come from common backgrounds and have common values.
2) The couple benefit from both extended families literally pulling for them to have a successful marriage. This is a vastly underrated asset to a marriage.

To me, Americans are too "in love" with the idea of "romantic love" when they should rate having a broad range of things in common much more highly.
Click to expand...

Agree about Americans being sappy about "love." That said, what if I got stuck with a fat ugly women? **** that, I'd take a hike.
 
noonereal said:
Agree about Americans being sappy about "love." That said, what if I got stuck with a fat ugly women? **** that, I'd take a hike.
Click to expand...
1) Women (and men) can and do lose weight.
2) All cats are gray in the dark.
 
Cordelier said:
Geez... I once (foolishly) let my old man fix me up on a date with an intern at the radio station he worked at. What a bizarre drama-filled three-ring circus that was. Turns out our "date" was really a disguise for a freelance newspaper exposé story she wanted to write about a ballroom dance company she used to work for, and didn't leave on the best of terms... so it was kind of awkward when we showed up there. Then somehow, Randy "Macho Man" Savage showed up (don't ask)... and during the course of the evening she lets it slip that she'd been having an affair with the Lieutenant Governor. Hooookay then.

Anyways, last I heard of her, there was a APB out for her because she went missing or something. I think she got committed when they eventually found her.

Dad always took unjustified pride in his "matchmaking" skills... after Lisa, I wasn't having any part of that.
Click to expand...

OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAH.
 
Dayton3 said:
1) Women (and men) can and do lose weight.
2) All cats are gray in the dark.
Click to expand...

Women are men's jewelry.

To be worn as fashion and prestige

At least that is how I see it.
 
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