So whomever coined the term "the terrible two's" for children obviously said this before their kid reached the age of 4. I don't know what switch got thrown but this phase of my son's development has been the most difficult for me to handle. someone out there with older kids tell me there is some respite between this age and teen years? I'm not talking about a little bit of issues every now and then. I'm talking about the constant willful stubborness that comes with every time I tell him "no". Does that go away?
Might as well. I'd make him whistle the Star Spangled Banner while I beat his ass too, just for lulz. :lol:
Based on my experience with other people's kids, I have found the age of about 4-6 to be the years when kids are at their most sadistic. They have also hit the age where they have discovered the joy of throwing fits, but are not old enough to temper those fits due to an understanding of the penalties they will receive yet.
That's cool; whatever works for you. Every child is different.
So whomever coined the term "the terrible two's" for children obviously said this before their kid reached the age of 4. I don't know what switch got thrown but this phase of my son's development has been the most difficult for me to handle. someone out there with older kids tell me there is some respite between this age and teen years? I'm not talking about a little bit of issues every now and then. I'm talking about the constant willful stubborness that comes with every time I tell him "no". Does that go away?
So whomever coined the term "the terrible two's" for children obviously said this before their kid reached the age of 4. I don't know what switch got thrown but this phase of my son's development has been the most difficult for me to handle. someone out there with older kids tell me there is some respite between this age and teen years? I'm not talking about a little bit of issues every now and then. I'm talking about the constant willful stubborness that comes with every time I tell him "no". Does that go away?
I'm not saying I don't agree with corporal punishment, but I usually don't in her case. My mom often used corporal punishment on me when she was angry. Her eyes would looked glazed over. It was rather scary for a child, so I am careful about that sort of thing.
Exactly right; as you should be. Every parent should try, very hard, not to punish children in anger. Hey, we're human... but we should try to make discipline as objective and impartial as possible.
Many is the time that I sent my son to his room for a time, before I determined what his punishment for some wrongdoing would be... not so much for HIM to contemplate his errors, as for ME to calm down until I could think and act without undue emotional influence.
I think the mistake a lot of parents make is being subjective about punishment.... the "spank when I'm angry at you" parents, who punish when something inconveniences them. I've seen that and it rarely ends well, because it isn't a consistent standard and it teaches the wrong message.
Basically I reserved corporeal punishment for three offenses: safety issues (ie doing stupid things likely to cause harm to self or others), open defiance, or repeating a behavior after having been warned not to. When a misbehavior met those criteria, a spanking was given whether I felt like it or not. When a misbehavior did NOT meet those criteria, a warning or time-out or lecture was given. Consistent efforts produce consistent results.
So whomever coined the term "the terrible two's" for children obviously said this before their kid reached the age of 4. I don't know what switch got thrown but this phase of my son's development has been the most difficult for me to handle. someone out there with older kids tell me there is some respite between this age and teen years? I'm not talking about a little bit of issues every now and then. I'm talking about the constant willful stubborness that comes with every time I tell him "no". Does that go away?
Now is the time where you're going to decide what kind of parent you're going to be. It was easy when they were just cooing blobs. Now you're tested. First thing to remember: make sure you and the wife are on the same page. Never disagree in front of the child or you will have anarchy.
Yeah, it gets better. Then it will get worse, and then it will get better again. You have to decide what parental course of action you can live with because nothing you do today will change the behavior tomorrow. It will be a process.
I'm am not entirely anti-spanking. But I do feel it should be used for extreme issues. If you spank now for a little defiance, what will you do when he's really bad? Remove his entrails?
3 and 4 were the worst years for my son. I cried tears of defeated mom every day. Life was not suppose to be like that! But it's part of their development as kids and your development as parents. At this stage, when he's in touble a lot, remember to try to catch him doing things right. Make sure you tell him how proud you are of him when he makes a good choice. If all he hears is the bad stuff, the problem will continue for a loooooong time. If he believes himself to be a bad kid, he just might become one.
Good luck Crip. My boy is entering his pre-teen years, and I miss the little boy with all my heart .... even the difficult years. If I could wind back the clock and have my obnoxious 4 year old back, I would do it in a heartbeat. As much as I appreciate the "that's what she said" jokes now, I miss the innocent little boy who thought it was terribly naughty to call me a pee pee head. While those moments were unpleasant, they were more than erased when he buried his face into my neck when he heard thunder and wouldn't fall asleep until he got one of mom's magic kisses. <3
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