Teen who was relentlessly bullied kills herself in front of her family

[Dragonfly]

Bullied teen kills herself in front of her family - CNN.com

Vela killed herself this week, putting a gun to her chest while her family begged her not to. She was 18 years old -- and she had been relentlessly bullied.

Brandy's sister, Jackie, says the teen had always been bullied for her weight, but the cyberbullying ramped up in April.

Cyber bullying. A modern day issue. Awful. Disgusting. Tragic.

Can we, or should we hold people accountable when something of this nature happens?
Can assault charges be levied if it's just words on the internet?

Flip side of that is people don't have to be "on" the internet. You can turn off Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter.

I'm torn between anger at the kids who mercilessly tortured this girl, and just outright sadness that she felt her only way out was suicide.
Her family must be absolutely devastated having watched her pull the trigger.

 

[CaptainCourtesy]

Though I see this as tragic, both in the sense that the girl choose to kill herself and because the scumbag bullies who verbally assaulted her did it without recourse, I find that her choosing to do this in front of her family to be very attention seeking and selfish. It's one thing for a family to hear about a loved one killing themselves or to find a loved one after having done so, but to do it IN FRONT of her family will leave scars that will never heal. I understand her sadness and anger, but what she did was cruel.

 

[Dragonfly]

but to do it IN FRONT of her family will leave scars that will never heal. I understand her sadness and anger, but what she did was cruel.

It's very difficult to not agree with you, but I think it also points to exactly how bad this situation had become.
Mental illness, depression, and despair erode rational thinking.

 

[CaptainCourtesy]

It's very difficult to not agree with you, but I think it also points to exactly how bad this situation had become.
Mental illness, depression, and despair erode rational thinking.

I agree. It certainly eroded her thinking and caused her to do something unthinkable... kill herself in front of her family. The level of anger she must have had and was not expressing appropriately must have been massive for her to do what she did. It's still a cruel act, though, one that if she were thinking clearly, she probably wouldn't have done.

 

[CaptainCourtesy]

Btw... here's a preemptive strike. Most of you know what I do for a living. I'll go further than that. My graduate school final thesis was on suicidality. Anyone who says something like "killing yourself is a sign of weakness" or the like, be prepared to be laughed at and humiliated for being completely ignorant on the topic.

 

[Crovax]

Bullied teen kills herself in front of her family - CNN.com





Cyber bullying. A modern day issue. Awful. Disgusting. Tragic.

Can we, or should we hold people accountable when something of this nature happens?
Can assault charges be levied if it's just words on the internet?

Flip side of that is people don't have to be "on" the internet. You can turn off Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter.

I'm torn between anger at the kids who mercilessly tortured this girl, and just outright sadness that she felt her only way out was suicide.
Her family must be absolutely devastated having watched her pull the trigger.

Here is the part I don't get

Brandy was well-liked and friendly. Texas City High School students really liked her.

So the cyber bullying was done mostly by Internet trolls who didn't even know her then?

How was she just not able to as you say turn her social media off. There were clearly other issues there, I think.

 

[Dragonfly]

How was she just not able to as you say turn her social media off. There were clearly other issues there, I think.

I think it's very difficult for anyone who grew up before "the internet" to not think that.
As I said, it's a modern problem for sure.

Other issues is absolutely correct.

 

[CaptainCourtesy]

I think it's very difficult for anyone who grew up before "the internet" to not think that.
As I said, it's a modern problem for sure.

This is 100% true. Teens live in an "immediate contact" generation. Want to talk to your friend? Text them. They'll respond since their phones are practically extra appendages. It is very difficult for teens to turn these things off. mostly because since everyone else is on them, they will feel isolated or left out. Interestingly enough, the very nature of social media actually creates more isolation than inhibiting it. I can't count how many times I've seen teens hanging out at a restaurant, or a bowling alley or waiting for a movie... with each of them glued to their cell phones texting someone... instead of talking among themselves. Turning off social media to avoid bullying would often, in the teen's mind, create a social vacuum, which is not something they want to see happen.

 

[HonestJoe]

Though I see this as tragic, both in the sense that the girl choose to kill herself and because the scumbag bullies who verbally assaulted her did it without recourse, I find that her choosing to do this in front of her family to be very attention seeking and selfish. It's one thing for a family to hear about a loved one killing themselves or to find a loved one after having done so, but to do it IN FRONT of her family will leave scars that will never heal. I understand her sadness and anger, but what she did was cruel.

You’re trying to apply rational motives to an irrational act. He actions weren’t cruel because she won’t have been seeking to hurt her family. Indeed, I suspect she would have truly believed her actions would be best for them as well as herself.

It also seems from the article that she was going to shoot herself alone in her room and the family were only there because they’d realised something was wrong and went in. It doesn’t seem that she went out of her way to make them see her die.

 

[Excon]

Bullied teen kills herself in front of her family - CNN.com

Cyber bullying. A modern day issue. Awful. Disgusting. Tragic.

Can we, or should we hold people accountable when something of this nature happens?
Can assault charges be levied if it's just words on the internet?

Flip side of that is people don't have to be "on" the internet. You can turn off Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter.

I'm torn between anger at the kids who mercilessly tortured this girl, and just outright sadness that she felt her only way out was suicide.
Her family must be absolutely devastated having watched her pull the trigger.

Another emotionally/mentally unstable person taking their life. :shrug:
Society should not be concerned with what she couldn't handle, but more so with her inability to handle it.

 

[CaptainCourtesy]

You’re trying to apply rational motives to an irrational act. He actions weren’t cruel because she won’t have been seeking to hurt her family. Indeed, I suspect she would have truly believed her actions would be best for them as well as herself.

No, I completely understand it's an irrational act. Doesn't change the fact that it was still a cruel act to do so in front of her family. Those two things are not mutually exclusive.

It also seems from the article that she was going to shoot herself alone in her room and the family were only there because they’d realised something was wrong and went in. It doesn’t seem that she went out of her way to make them see her die.

I understand that, too. Still, when they got there, she still did it in front of them. I get that she felt that there were no other options and that once someone really makes up their mind to kill themselves, talking them down is very difficult. The outcome is still cruel.

 

[CaptainCourtesy]

Another emotionally/mentally unstable person taking their life. :shrug:
Society should not be concerned with what she couldn't handle, but more so with her inability to handle it.

Though society should be MORE concerned with her ability to handle situations like that, educating those who would bully and the impact that behavior has on others is also something that needs to be addressed.

 

[joG]

Though I see this as tragic, both in the sense that the girl choose to kill herself and because the scumbag bullies who verbally assaulted her did it without recourse, I find that her choosing to do this in front of her family to be very attention seeking and selfish. It's one thing for a family to hear about a loved one killing themselves or to find a loved one after having done so, but to do it IN FRONT of her family will leave scars that will never heal. I understand her sadness and anger, but what she did was cruel.

Certainly crueler than the mobbing, though, that might have been lost on the girl.

 

[joG]

Bullied teen kills herself in front of her family - CNN.com





Cyber bullying. A modern day issue. Awful. Disgusting. Tragic.

Can we, or should we hold people accountable when something of this nature happens?
Can assault charges be levied if it's just words on the internet?

Flip side of that is people don't have to be "on" the internet. You can turn off Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter.

I'm torn between anger at the kids who mercilessly tortured this girl, and just outright sadness that she felt her only way out was suicide.
Her family must be absolutely devastated having watched her pull the trigger.

As sad as the individual event might be, my reaction to that type of thing is that it is yet another warning bell of a sick system of socialization. Obviously, internet mobbing is a frequent occurrence and often does harm in varying degrees. This is an exceptionally bad result, but not infrequent enough to ignore. So why are parents not socializing their kids to deal with this type of malevolent behavior?

 

[Excon]

Though society should be MORE concerned with her ability to handle situations like that, educating those who would bully and the impact that behavior has on others is also something that needs to be addressed.

That depends on what you mean by "addressed".

 

[TheGoverness]

Though I see this as tragic, both in the sense that the girl choose to kill herself and because the scumbag bullies who verbally assaulted her did it without recourse, I find that her choosing to do this in front of her family to be very attention seeking and selfish. It's one thing for a family to hear about a loved one killing themselves or to find a loved one after having done so, but to do it IN FRONT of her family will leave scars that will never heal. I understand her sadness and anger, but what she did was cruel.

Agreed. I kinda feel the same way towards those that chose to kill themselves by running into traffic.

 

[CaptainCourtesy]

As sad as the individual event might be, my reaction to that type of thing is that it is yet another warning bell of a sick system of socialization. Obviously, internet mobbing is a frequent occurrence and often does harm in varying degrees. This is an exceptionally bad result, but not infrequent enough to ignore. So why are parents not socializing their kids to deal with this type of malevolent behavior?

Hard to do. Parents are often resistant to restricting teen's access to technology because the very same technology is often the way that the parents communicate with the teen. The parents could monitor the usage, but teens are quite adept at getting around this. It is also difficult to help a teen figure out how to manage cyberbullying from persons unknown who, once blocked, just come back again with a new username. Part of the issue is that the teens who are most affected by this kind of behavior are often teens that have some emotional issues beyond the bullying, issues that are being exploited. Ways to help the teen to become stronger, internally are important. Positive activities, counseling, and parental emotional support are all key. We live in a time, where in general, the family is often in an isolated state. 30 years ago, everyone would be in the living room watching TV or interacting with each other in some way. Nowadays, everyone is in the own room or place on their technology.

 

[Dragonfly]

So why are parents not socializing their kids to deal with this type of malevolent behavior?

Because as parents we did not grow up the same way. We grew up without the internet. It's now a whole new world. we don't see it through the same eyes.

We're not programmed the same way.

 

[Mac77]

Btw... here's a preemptive strike. Most of you know what I do for a living. I'll go further than that. My graduate school final thesis was on suicidality. Anyone who says something like "killing yourself is a sign of weakness" or the like, be prepared to be laughed at and humiliated for being completely ignorant on the topic.

You are certainly full of yourself

There is always more than one way to look at occurrences like this

But since you wrote a thesis on the subject and therefore know it all why dont you tell us what caused her death?

 

[CaptainCourtesy]

Agreed. I kinda feel the same way towards those that chose to kill themselves by running into traffic.

Had a client who tried that once. Caused quite a bit of trauma for the driver. And here's the ironic part. The driver was a psychiatrist.

Can't make this stuff up.

 

[Dragonfly]

Another emotionally/mentally unstable person taking their life. :shrug:
Society should not be concerned with what she couldn't handle, but more so with her inability to handle it.

This was basically a CHILD. Don't forget that.

 

[Excon]

This was basically a CHILD. Don't forget that.

No. She was an adult, not that matters one bit though.
Unstable is unstable.

 

[CaptainCourtesy]

You are certainly full of yourself

It's called confidence. I have no question about my expertise in this subject. I've also dealt with many threads on this topic with people saying thoughtless and stupid things. My comment was an attempt to prevent that.

There is always more than one way to look at occurrences like this

Never said there wasn't. Instead of making silly assumptions, you can always ask a question for clarification. It will work out better for you then looking silly when you make one of these silly assumptions.

But since you wrote a thesis on the subject and therefore know it all why dont you tell us what caused her death?

That's a pretty broad question and since your post reeks of aggression without real interest, here's a suggestion. Come back with a more specific question and without the attitude and I might take you a bit more seriously.

 

[Mac77]

It's called confidence. I have no question about my expertise in this subject. I've also dealt with many threads on this topic with people saying thoughtless and stupid things. My comment was an attempt to prevent that.



Never said there wasn't. Instead of making silly assumptions, you can always ask a question for clarification. It will work out better for you then looking silly when you make one of these silly assumptions.



That's a pretty broad question and since your post reeks of aggression without real interest,

here's a suggestion. Come back with a more specific question and without the attitude and I might take you a bit more seriously.

The aggression is yours by warning everyone that you have spoken and therefore nothing more needs to be said

Unless they are posting to agree with you

 

[CaptainCourtesy]

The aggression is yours by warning everyone that you have spoken and therefore nothing more needs to be said

Unless they are posting to agree with you

No, I was quite clear on ONE specific issue. And I didn't say nothing needed to be said even on that issue. I did say that if something WAS said, they should be prepared for what happens next. Next time, try actually READING what someone writes rather than making up what you wanted them to have written.

So, tell me. Do you have anything that you'd want to add to the actual topic, or are you just here to try (and fail) to attack me?