Voltaire X
Well-known member
- Joined
- Sep 7, 2011
- Messages
- 551
- Reaction score
- 206
- Location
- New York, New York
- Gender
- Male
- Political Leaning
- Independent
good families don't necessarily fit into one stereotype. my personal choice would be to marry before having kids, but i know plenty of people who had kids before getting married, and my own path could have easily been different. my opinion is that being a good parent and having a happy family is less dependent on marriage and more dependent on a conscious choice to put the kiddo first and to do the best that you can.
I'm fine with premarital casual sex and whatnot, but birth control should be used.
Do you know what the poverty rate in the US is for families that wait until marriage to have children and stay married? 2%.
The poverty rate for the general population is 13%, more than six times as high. Plus, children that grow up in single parent households are much more likely to end up involved in criminal activity.
I look down on people that have children outside of marriage. They are hurting their children, their families, themselves, and their country.
Also I'm an atheist so religion has nothing to do with why I believe this.
I think people should wait until they're married to have children. "We're not ready yet" simply doesn't resonate with me. If a couple is ready to bring a child into the world? They should be ready to get married. Playing house is fine; but without the benefit of marriage? In reality, that's all it is. "Playing house." Unless two people structure their coupled relationship like two Philadelphia lawyers, they can expect very little help from the courts should their partnership dissolve. That can make for a nasty, painful and expensive break-up. That's not conducive to good parenting.
good families don't necessarily fit into one stereotype. my personal choice would be to marry before having kids, but i know plenty of people who had kids before getting married, and my own path could have easily been different. my opinion is that being a good parent and having a happy family is less dependent on marriage and more dependent on a conscious choice to put the kiddo first and to do the best that you can.
I think couples should have children when they they are ready to have children. Especially in Quebec common law couples have children and they are fine. Though recently there was a case of separation of a common law couple with three kids and the father now pays 36,000$/month in child support. So I think the kids will be fine.
I disagree. I don't think marriage makes a difference, but I do think that a mom and dad in the picture is important. Why is marriage more meaningful than just being together as a couple?
I'm sorry, maybe I'm just jaded about marriage, but IMO it is nothing more than a piece of paper and a couple of rings with some meaningless vows and the obligatory celebratory activities.
People, of course, will say that if you are "married" that means that it makes you somehow more committed to one another than a couple who isn't married, but I'm not buying it.
Well, to each their own. First, the problems of a living-together arrangement don't rear their ugly heads until it's time to not live together anymore. That "piece of paper" entitles a married couple to certain rights not available to two people deciding to live together. Here are some of the Federal protections a married couple have that aren't available to others:
- Social Security survivor benefits
- Many, if not most, employers don't allow someone to add a domestic partner to their health insurance; those that do? The premium paid by the employer for the partner's health insurance is taxable to the employee.
- If there is no will in place (most people don't have one, unfortunately, the partner is going to be completely by-passed if there is any estate.
- If a husband dies, the wife is able to transfer his IRA into her own and avoid taxes. If a partner dies? The other partner may not even get the funds; if the other partner was named as a beneficiary, she would have to pay ordinary income tax on the IRA proceeds.
- Most companies' medical care leave does not extend to partners.
- Under current laws, "partners" are excluded from the Federal Employees Health Benefit Program.
- COBRA laws do not require employers to provide COBRA for partners.
- Been a stay-at-home mom? If you split, you have no inherent right to temporary alimony to get you on your feet.
- You cannot file a joint income tax return resulting in a tax penalty.
- Estate planning benefits are lost on a partner.
- Unless you have a healthcare power of attorney in place? You will, in most cases, be excluded from any decision-making in case of serious illness. You may find yourself on the outside looking in as family members step up.
- There is absolutely no guarantee that, in the case of a split, you will get an equitable property division.
- You have no right to sue a third person for the unlawful death of your partner. (You do if you are the spouse.)
One only has to look up the rights same-sex partnerships are fighting so hard for in order to realize the importance of "that piece of paper."
"We love each other!! We don't need no stinkin' piece of paper!!" Good luck with that.
That's true, and I'm aware of that. That's what I meant by fear. I don't see why we can't have common law marriage. You just prove that you've lived together for the required period of time.
I'm fine with premarital casual sex and whatnot, but birth control should be used.
Do you know what the poverty rate in the US is for families that wait until marriage to have children and stay married? 2%.
The poverty rate for the general population is 13%, more than six times as high. Plus, children that grow up in single parent households are much more likely to end up involved in criminal activity.
I look down on people that have children outside of marriage. They are hurting their children, their families, themselves, and their country.
Also I'm an atheist so religion has nothing to do with why I believe this.
Lordy, lordy. Thank goodness they don't recognize common law marriage in Illinois. That is the only reason Angel Boy Tommy is in my life. Because of all the legal rights he (and I) would have if we were legally married? We wouldn't be living together.
Of the 15 states that do recognize common law marriage, one of them only recognizes it after the death of a partner (and the Federal government, for all those protections, never recognizes a common law marriage.) Five of them only recognize CLM if the partnership was formed before 1996, 1997, 1998 and 2005 respectively. STATES THAT RECOGNIZE COMMON LAW MARRIAGE
If I were going to have children, there is no way under the sun I would have them with someone who wasn't married to me. No.Way. It's been my experience that men are generally the ones who talk about marriage only being a piece of paper. And too damned many women buy what they're selling.
Some women have no desire to get married. As long as my partner was legally responsible for my child (which by his name being on the birth certificate, he is), that would be all I really care about. :shrug:
This in no way means I'm planning on going out and having an illegitimate child. :lol: Just playing devil's advocate.
The couples that have kids before marriage but end up getting married later or at least stay together aren't the problem. I don't have any problem with that. But all too often, one parent (usually the father) leaves, and then the child is growing up in a single parent household. I've seen that happen too many times, and it breaks my heart every time.
We use cookies and similar technologies for the following purposes:
Do you accept cookies and these technologies?
We use cookies and similar technologies for the following purposes:
Do you accept cookies and these technologies?