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Putting on a show during the 'getting to know you' phase of a relationship

Aunt Spiker

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People do it probably more often than they want to admit (but, sure, not everyone does). . . pretend to be interested when you're not or putting on a 'show' when you first meet to get the other to like you more or find you appealing.

Did you do that?
Was it good or bad?
Is there a line between ' a little bit being ok ' and 'going to far'
Did you do it and regret it later?
 

Aunt Spiker

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I don't believe I didn't it when I met my husband - but maybe I did and just don't realize it (we only knew each other for a few months before marrying so the window wasn't very big).

But he definitely showed interest in things that he didn't really care about for me - and sometimes I go "ah! It was a just a show because now you don't care at all" (example: he use to be a member of my old armory forum - which I thought was a true interest of his but now I know it was just for first-impressions . .. and he couldn't care less)
 

Orion

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No, not really. Instead, I think it's just that I don't reveal a lot about myself. You keep things light at first unless you are really clicking with someone. I'm nice to people in general so I have no need to fake it.

I find that in big social settings, being genuine is how I ward off people with no substance while attracting others who want to talk about something that might actually interest me.
 

Gipper

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Kind of the opposite happened to me. There was a woman I know that I liked, but really kind of more as a friend. We'd hang out, have fun together...no tension, anxiety, just chillaxin'. I mean, she was hot...really hot...but I didn't see her "that way". It wasn't that I couldn't. I just didn't. She then started to become a little more open and flirty with me, eventually to the point of being shameless. Went to the next level, all good. It was worth several months of sex anyway.

Now I usually try that move consciously now. There are numerous women out there that just seem to want what they can't have. A cold shoulder can lead to a hot piece of ass.
 

Goshin

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People do it probably more often than they want to admit (but, sure, not everyone does). . . pretend to be interested when you're not or putting on a 'show' when you first meet to get the other to like you more or find you appealing.

Did you do that?
Was it good or bad?
Is there a line between ' a little bit being ok ' and 'going to far'
Did you do it and regret it later?
Very early on, I'm more likely to be in the "observe and analyze" mode, rather than trying to put on a show. I'll be a good listener but reveal little.

A little further on (say 2-4 weeks), if I've decided she is worth bothering with, I'll be very open and honest. I want to get my quirks and baggage out front and in the open, so we'll both know whether she can handle me or not, or wants to. If she's going to freak out and run because of some aspect of my character, personality or habits, I'd rather get it over with quickly to minimize wasted time and effort.

Putting on a show or being anything other than myself isn't typically one of my vices.
 
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