- Joined
- Mar 16, 2009
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Chaosian
A Chaosian is a person who believes there is too much order and safety in society, along with an excess of authority and just too damn many people who think they need to stick their nose in your business.
Chaosians believe it is self-evident that there is too much order and safety in society, since obviously far too many fracking idiots manage to survive long enough to reproduce and mismanage the upbringing of their children, producing more fracking idiots.
If we decreased the amount of order and safety in society to a more reasonable level (which could also be referred to as raising the level of Chaos!), the idiot problem would become largely self-correcting: that is, most of them would die off early as a result of their own stupidity.
In particular, if there were more frequent situations where alertness, quick reflexes, good judgement, common sense, basic survival skills, and some level of mental-contact-with-reality were required in order to stay alive, the level of idiocy in our society (and the frequency of idiots among the general population) would surely decrease greatly over time.
Thus, Chaosians support the legalization of dueling and mutual combat; the reduction of existing police forces by 95% of personnel; altering speed limits and traffic laws so that they are not enforced in a general manner but instead only used to adjudicate who is at fault after an accident resulting in injury or property damage; limiting liability suits to not more than 2 times actual damages; enacting the "Idiot Exemption" - which is a set of laws which essentially say if you suffered injury because you are an idiot or acted in a stupid manner that any normal person would have known was a Bad Idea, anything that happened to you is your own fault and your own problem and you get NO recompense from anyone for your own stupidity; along with other similar adjustments to the modern legal system.
Chaosians believe that there is far too much authority in our society, and far too much heirarchy, and in general too damn many people who think they can tell you what to do. We are regimented from the cradle to the grave: in school we are driven like cattle by teachers and staff, and protected and coddled until most teenagers think the world comes with "save game" functions and that death isn't real and can't touch them. In college we are subject to the whims and demands of professors and campus security and nanny-rules about what we can and cannot have and do, as if we were still children and not young adults. When we finally enter the wonderful world of adulthood, we are told what to do almost every minute of the day by our corporate masters: Lead persons, foremen, line bosses, project leaders, low-level supervisors, office managers, regional managers, Human Resources supervisors (as if we were mere human components in a machine!), Safety Nazis (as if we were too stupid to know we don't want to get injured!), Corporate Auditors, OSHA inspectors... the list of those whose job is to frack with us has no end!!
When we finally get off work, we head home with a sigh of relief.... but not so fast! Everytime we see a police cruiser go by we cringe like whipped curs and hope we weren't doing 3 mph over the speed limit, or that we hadn't failed to come to a complete stop at that last stop sign, nor forgotten to wear our seatbelt, and that our license plates and vehicle inspections are all up to date! Otherwise you may be delayed in your trip home by an armed authority figure you can frack with you about as much as he wants... and if you do any smallest thing to him in return, all the might of the government will fall on your little head. Better hope you didn't swerve a little while you were taking a sip of Coke, or you might spend the next hour taking a field sobriety test!
Then, (SIGH!), you finally get home... to find a notice from your HOA that you must spent $2000 on landscaping within the next 30 days or face fines or lawsuit for not maintaining your yard up to standard!
Everywhere you go, every minute of the damn day, there are far too many people telling you what to do. We need to reduce that for the sake of our sanity, our humanity, our dignity as individuals.
Thus we support reducing the number of authorities in society in various ways. One has already been mentioned: reducing police forces by 95% of personnel. This should keep the rest busy dealing with REAL crime instead of fracking with citizens who just wanted to go home after work.
Another is that there are just too many organizations that have gotten so big they no longer see their personnel as humans... just as "Human Resources". Corporations "too massive to fail", too huge to be held fully accountable, corporate offices making decisions from three thousand miles away that make no sense on the local level, bosses upon bosses upon bosses... it needs to stop.
We need to limit any and all for-profit organizations to not more than 10,000 people, nor assets totalling more than 1/100th of 1% of the country's GDP. Any that get larger than this will be forced to split into two or more rival competing companies. End all government subsidy of any business. All businesses can stand or fall on their own merits, and if we limit their size they will no longer endanger the entire economy with their idiocy.
There's too much government. Each of us typically has to answer to city government, county government, state government, the federal government, and any number of state and/or federal agencies depending on what we're trying to do. The bureaucracy is massive and there are thousands of elected officials at all different levels, making it damn near impossible to keep track of who is responsible for what blunder.
So let's just have one government for everyone, and just a handful of governors. The entire country will be run by an executive council of twelve persons, elected EVERY YEAR to keep them accountable. Taxes are set at 5% of your income for everyone with no exceptions; exports will not be taxed; all imports will be taxed at 20%. The budget must be balanced.
The primary responsibilities of this singular government will be as follows:
1. Protect the borders from invasion or incursion, or from unlawful tresspass.
2. Protect our interests abroad in the most cost-efficent fashion and only when utterly necessary.
3. Secure private property rights against infringement.
4. Enforce the law even-handedly. (We'll get to this momentarily).
These twelve Chancellors will be paid 2x per-capita GDP during their term of service, and be allowed a small expense account. Campaigning will be paid for out of the public treasury but it will be a small amount: 0.1% of the government's budget. Campaign contributions will be illegal. Bribery or accepting bribes will be punishable by death. No one may serve on the Executive Council more than four years in a row, nor more than eight years total. The Chancellors cannot delegate any legislative authority to any non-elected official.
There are too many laws. Did you know there are THOUSANDS of Federal laws, and each State typically has hundreds more? Now add in regulations by various agencies that have the force of law (and can be felonies and send you to prison for decades), including city and county ordinances, and there are TENS OF THOUSANDS of laws! Now consider that what is perfectly fine in Atlanta GA can get you thrown in prison for years in NYC and you see we have TOO DAMN MANY LAWS.
Let's cut that list down to a basic handful....
1. It shall be unlawful to initiate the use of force against an innocent and unwilling subject, or to use fraud or coercion or threat to force an innocent person to allow you to do something to them they do not desire. (Mutually-agreed combat and self-defense OK.) Punishment for this offense will be to suffer similar injury at the hands of the victim or his appointed substitute under controlled supervision, or suit for up to 2x damages as the victim prefers. In cases where there was substantial provocation, a jury may choose to acquit and must be so informed.
2. It shall be unlawful to take property or destroy property belonging to another through fraud, force, coercion, willful vandalism, or negligence.
3. It shall be unlawful to infringe on the common private property rights of another through tresspass or use-without-permission.
4. No corporation or other for-profit entity can exceed ten thousand persons in size (employees, contractors, shareholders and executive all included), nor possess assets exceeding 0.01% of the national GDP. Any such entity will be required to break into two or more competing rival companies.
5. All government and corporate entities, all businesses, and all organizations larger than 100 persons shall be required to maintain total transparency of their finances and financial state, as well as the components, processes, effects, known hazards and other risks and pollution factors of their products, services or activities, revealing all to any citizen on request. All advertising must be truthful to a standard of complete and whole truthfulness.
6. All contracts must be honored, but no one must be coerced into a contract or lured into one upon fraudulent or deceptive premises.
7. By preference, the punishment for any offense shall be "to make the victim whole" inasmuch as this is possible. Negligent or malicious actions may incur punitive fines but these shall never exceed double the actual damages.
8. Anyone can sue anyone for anything, but no money shall be awarded unless actual direct harm is proven, nor shall any award exceed the actual damages unless gross negligence or willfull maliciousness is proven, and even then no award shall exceed 2x actual damages.
9. The total number of law enforcement officer of any type shall not exceed one per 8,000 general population.
10. No other laws shall be made except those that are absolutely necessary to the performance of the laws enstated above.
Some details will have to be hammered out, sure... we might keep the Bill of Rights, even though we'd hardly need it with government limited to the functions listed above.
But most of all, Chaosians like to create a certain level of benevolent chaos! Do something weird.... get a high-powered sound system for your car, and drive through a bad neighborhood playing Beethoven's Moonlight Sonata loud enough to rattle windows in adjacent houses. Buy a cheesecake and give it to some total jerk that you utterly despise... he'll spend the rest of the day in baffled fear wondering what you're up to. He might even be afraid to eat the cake. :mrgreen:
Do something shocking. Wear Spock ears to work. Wear old tennis shoes with your 3 piece Brooks Brothers suit to a business meeting. Get in the left hand lane and drive the speed limit, ignoring the 100 cars that pile up behind you wanting to speed. Tell your boss that he must buy Moo Goo Guy Pan for everyone in the office or the Dragon of Disharmony will eat all the quarterly reports. Smack some jackass who really deserves it.
Be different! Be a Chaosian!!
We will now sing the Chaosian Party Anthem.... all rise please... unless you don't feel like it, or prefer to do a handstand....
