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Mom cut up $800 and doesn't remember doing it . . .

MaggieD

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Mom's 85 years old. She's lived with her "boyfriend" of 50 years (John) for the last seven. This morning, she told me that after I left yesterday, she apparently cut up eight $100 bills of John's and doesn't remember doing it. She'll get the money replaced, because fortunately, she didn't use the damned paper shredder. :rofl

She cut four of the bills in half and the other four in thirds and threw them in the garbage. John went to get his money that he'd locked in the filing cabinet, and it was gone. He, of course, thought the lady who came from senior services to clean the house yesterday took it.

Mom looked in the garbage, and lo 'n behold, she found it there.

Getting old's not for sissies.

OMFG.

Just because you think your parents are doing just fine? You could be wrong.

Any suggestions? Any similar stories?
 
Mom's 85 years old. She's lived with her "boyfriend" of 50 years (John) for the last seven. This morning, she told me that after I left yesterday, she apparently cut up eight $100 bills of John's and doesn't remember doing it. She'll get the money replaced, because fortunately, she didn't use the damned paper shredder. :rofl

She cut four of the bills in half and the other four in thirds and threw them in the garbage. John went to get his money that he'd locked in the filing cabinet, and it was gone. He, of course, thought the lady who came from senior services to clean the house yesterday took it.

Mom looked in the garbage, and lo 'n behold, she found it there.

Getting old's not for sissies.

OMFG.

Just because you think your parents are doing just fine? You could be wrong.

Any suggestions? Any similar stories?

There's nothing like a mother's love...

Try to be close to your mother and give her many hugs as possible *moms like that sorta thing* and be fortunate that she's still alive
 
There's nothing like a mother's love...

Try to be close to your mother and give her many hugs as possible *moms like that sorta thing* and be fortunate that she's still alive

Don't I know it, Ric. If we have good moms in our lives, we have a built-in greatest fan for life.
 
Mom's 85 years old. She's lived with her "boyfriend" of 50 years (John) for the last seven. This morning, she told me that after I left yesterday, she apparently cut up eight $100 bills of John's and doesn't remember doing it. She'll get the money replaced, because fortunately, she didn't use the damned paper shredder. :rofl

She cut four of the bills in half and the other four in thirds and threw them in the garbage. John went to get his money that he'd locked in the filing cabinet, and it was gone. He, of course, thought the lady who came from senior services to clean the house yesterday took it.

Mom looked in the garbage, and lo 'n behold, she found it there.

Getting old's not for sissies.

OMFG.

Just because you think your parents are doing just fine? You could be wrong.

Any suggestions? Any similar stories?

What else is she cutting up? It may be time to start collecting family pictures and such.

As dementia progresses a lot of people go through an obsession phase where they root around through whatever's laying there or start hoarding weird stuff. I'd definitely check to make sure that Mom isn't just cutting up all kinds of things.

For a similar story....my grandmother now thinks that paper napkins are money. We take her to lunch and when we finish she takes a clean napkin and hands it to me so that I can pay the tab.
 
What else is she cutting up? It may be time to start collecting family pictures and such.

As dementia progresses a lot of people go through an obsession phase where they root around through whatever's laying there or start hoarding weird stuff. I'd definitely check to make sure that Mom isn't just cutting up all kinds of things.

For a similar story....my grandmother now thinks that paper napkins are money. We take her to lunch and when we finish she takes a clean napkin and hands it to me so that I can pay the tab.

You're right. It's given me pause. I'm concerned about her bank paperwork, etc. I think, at the very least, I'll make a list of her accounts so nothing gets irretrievably lost. Good thought.

What I'm most concerned about is, "What else will she do that'll seem perfectly normal to her?" Like let the dog out the front door instead of into the fenced yard...light something on fire from the stove...it's disconcerting. If she didn't live with John, I'd bring her home with me. It'd have to get worse, or I'd have to feel she was in danger, before I did that; because then John would have to find another place to live.

As to your gram? All I thought of was how happy it probably makes her!! "Her, darling, my treat!!! Again!!!" ;)
 
You just have to keep an eye on her and deal with issues as they come up. What I have found is that once a particular behavior starts it seems to always progress. For instance, if the dog is let out the front door once it might just be a mistake but if it happens again in the next few days it's most likely going to be a regular thing. Look for patterns in her behavior and adjust as necessary. As time goes by you may need to do things like unplug the stove so that she can't cook or have her important mail sent to you instead of to her house. You might want to start collecting certain personal items such as jewelry that has monetary or sentimental value because it isn't unusual for people with dementia to want to "share" things with strangers.

Most important....make sure that she's taking any medication she's supposed to and that she's not taking more than she's supposed to. It's a good idea to inventory her pills and make sure that the right number of the right ones are disappearing in the right time frame.
 
My father is 100 and his memory is deteriorating but no behavioral issues. I suspect he'll outlive me.

If I start to lose it, I hope I'll remember my suicide kit and use it.
 
My father is 100 and his memory is deteriorating but no behavioral issues. I suspect he'll outlive me.

If I start to lose it, I hope I'll remember my suicide kit and use it.

It's amazing how some people can be 100 with next to no problems and others hit 60 like a train wreck.
 
It's amazing how some people can be 100 with next to no problems and others hit 60 like a train wreck.

I suspect that much of it has to do with how one handles stress. Mental and emotional stress is really tough for some people to manage.
 
My MIL had Alzheimer's. After my FIL died, she went from relatively normal to completely unstable in a frighteningly short time. Small things, as first. Asking the same question 4-5 times in the space of 15 minutes. Forgetting that she wore glasses, and frantically calling my husband to say she had gone blind. As it progressed, the problems became painfully obvious. We once followed the smell to find that she had been storing hamburger meat and raw chicken in the linen closet.

Eventually, the apartment complex started eviction against her, because she had started walking out the back door of her apartment (which bordered on the complex parking lot) and emptying her trash about 4 feet from her door. Not neatly-tied trash bags. Loose trash. And used adult diapers.

Be supportive, be very aware, and watch for signs of potential danger... such as turning on the stove under an empty pot, forgetting about what is being cooked until smoke fills the entire house, then not understanding what the smoke even means. Sometimes putting sticky notes up helps... Take Medication, pictures of relatives with their name, Tagging certain items she has trouble remembering like Refrigerator, Microwave, Telephone.

HOWEVER, nearly all older people have episodes of forgetfulness that plague them, because they understand that the word is right on the edge of their mind, or like your mother she realizes that she has done something she cannot remember doing. It can be a normal part of the aging process, and not dementia-related. Her family physician might recommend an assessment by a professional that can ease everyone's mind. Medicare will pay most of the cost. You might want to look into it.
 
I suspect that much of it has to do with how one handles stress. Mental and emotional stress is really tough for some people to manage.

Form an early age one should eat correctly

Dementia and a poor diet high in saturated fats go hand in hand
 
Form an early age one should eat correctly

Dementia and a poor diet high in saturated fats go hand in hand

Diet is only one segment of what produces a healthy body and a healthy mind. In my observation, it has more to do with an ability to cope with stressors, than how high one's cholesterol is. If it were strictly diet, we would not see dementia start escalating in so many people, following a major emotional trauma.
 
Diet is only one segment of what produces a healthy body and a healthy mind. In my observation, it has more to do with an ability to cope with stressors, than how high one's cholesterol is. If it were strictly diet, we would not see dementia start escalating in so many people, following a major emotional trauma.

Can you get dementia by eating junk food? Alzheimer's may be a form of diabetes, say scientists | Mail Online



Bad diets are already linked to dementia, through high blood pressure and cholesterol interrupting blood supply to the brain.
 

The complex relationship between depression and dementia

Mechanisms Underlying the Relationship

There is a growing body of evidence to suggest that depression may be a risk factor for the development of dementia.[53,65,66] Past/lifetime history of depression is also known to increase the risk of developing both AD and vascular dementia. This is true even when depression occurred more than 10 years before the onset of dementia.[65] A history of depression nearly doubles the risk of developing dementia—findings of a meta analysis that reviewed both case–control and prospective studies.[67] Interval between diagnoses of depression and AD was positively related to increased risk of developing AD, suggesting that rather than a prodrome, depression may be a risk factor for AD.[68] This is further confirmed by a neuropathological study that demonstrated increased hippocampal plaque and tangle formation in AD patients with lifetime history of depression.[69] Prolonged damage to the hippocampus due to hypercortisolemia linked to depression has been proposed to underlie this finding.[2]

The other way this relationship has been construed is that depression may represent a predementia syndrome or that it serves as a prodrome of cognitive decline.[70] Recent history of depression has been associated with the increased incidence of dementia. Patients with LOD and cognitive impairment go on to develop dementia within a few years after the onset of depression. Depressive syndrome may just be the early manifestation of an underlying neurodegenerative disease. This coexistence can also be because of risk factors that are shared between both disorders such as genetic, vascular, or other environmental determinants.[2,5]
 
I'm sorry to hear that, Maggie. We know someone who was a supervisor at an Alzheimer's housing facility until she could not longer stand to work there. The true tragedy is that the person's personality can change or become totally unpredictable, not just memory lost and lose of focus ability. The sweetest, kindest person can become intensely foul-mouthed or even violent. This, of course, is hard enough for adult relatives to deal with, but far worse for little children to see grandma or grandpa become this way.

That is one justification, if financially possible, to find such housing. Not only is there likely better care and personal interaction, but also it helps to preserve the memory of that person to relatives, particularly young ones.
 
Maggie - I saw something online a few months ago - it was a quiz that said, "Is your forgetfulness normal, or should you be worried?" I took it, and was relieved that most of the weird things I did were considered normal. Believe me, I worry alot because I forget things, and both of my maternal grandparents died from complications resulting from Alzheimers. If I can find the quiz, I'll send it to you.

On the lighter side, my grandmother used to think that Bob Barker was our mailman, and she swore she babysat Laura Ingalls. Said she was the nicest young girl :lol: . Once my dad was watching a western on TV, and the bad guy was hiding behind the rock with his gun. Marshall Dillon walked up, and she yelled at the TV, "Be CAREFUL!! He's hiding behind that rock!!"
 
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