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- Sep 3, 2011
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Kids come first, or spouse comes first?
Here's two articles on the topic, one from each point-of-view. Please read both and give your opinion.
Memoir About Being a Mom and Wife - Mother and Wife Balance
Why My Husband Will Always Come Before My Kids
In which ways?Depends on the subject as to who would take priority. Which means, that I disagree with both women in the articles.
Kids come first, or spouse comes first?
Here's two articles on the topic, one from each point-of-view. Please read both and give your opinion.
Memoir About Being a Mom and Wife - Mother and Wife Balance
Why My Husband Will Always Come Before My Kids
I strongly believe that modeling a healthy relationship for our children sets the foundation for how they form bonds when they get older. In my opinion, my husband and I are the first example of what being in a happy marriage is like. Our kids learn how they should treat their future significant others (and what they should expect in return) by watching us.
In a few years, our son and daughter will leave our home and when they do, I want to celebrate a job well done with my lover — not sit in a quiet house with a person who has become a stranger as a result of years of quietly drifting apart.
Marriage should come first because it allows the mother to nurture their children while the father provides a living
Kids come first, or spouse comes first?
Here's two articles on the topic, one from each point-of-view. Please read both and give your opinion.
Memoir About Being a Mom and Wife - Mother and Wife Balance
Why My Husband Will Always Come Before My Kids
Most marriages end in divorce. A person's children is that person's children throughout his or her life. Spouses may come and go.
The husband is already an adult. Children need a great deal of time for the daily life necessities, plus extra time to be shown by example, discussions on various subjects, fun time, spiritual training, intellectual training, education, etc.
The woman in the first example seems to equate time doing all sorts of necessary small (and big) things as prioritizing. I don't think so. I think prioritizing would be taking care of most necessary things personally, and farming out a bit of that, to make time for an adult life and time spent with the spouse and maybe even friends. A monthly date night, doing something sporting together without the kids (going roller skating, for something different, or whatever). My mother would send us off to the grandparents for a weekend occasionally. We loved it, and I'm sure mom loved it.
It's not either-or, really. But a mother AND father does need to spend a certain amount of time taking care of the ordinary needs of the kids. That doesn't mean they need to spend all their time doing that.
The one who gave her dog away when she had one child...I don't get that at all. I love my dogs. I wouldn't stop loving them if I got another pet. But she was probably right that the dog needed more attention than she could give.
What happens to women who spend their lives doting on their kids to the exclusion of friends and spouse run the risk of ending up lonely when the kids have their own families, the spouse dies or leaves, and she has not established friendships.
Life should be balanced: The kids come first in certain ways, the husband comes first in other ways (an established date night or whatever, special time at night after the kids are packed off to bed), and then herself (a pamper day, an evening with friends without the spouses), and of course work (most people have to earn a living).
It's not all up to Mom. Dad has parental responsibilities, too. It's better now than it was in the old days. Now usually both parents work and both parents take care of the kids. But more probably falls on the woman.
In which ways?
Have to disagree with you here, sure an appallingly high percentage of marriages end in divorce but not most, at least with first marriages.
The Myth of the High Rate of Divorce | Psych Central
There are different ways of measuring the divorce rate. The last I read, it was 51% based on the obvious crude method.
It seems that now, most experts agree that the current divorce rate is 40-50%. So it's not as much as I thought...but that's pretty high. First marriages have a higher rate, of course.
Your article, written by a long-married guy, seems to want to lower the rate by excluding some divorced people he doesn't identify with (like poor people, women over a certain age, women under a certain age, etc.). LOL. So much for that article.
Depends on what we are talking about. I have a 6 and a 10 year old. I would place my wife first in almost every situation I can think of.
The exception is life and death. If I had to make a choice I would save the kids' lives before my wife's. And she would do the same.
Kids come first, or spouse comes first?
Here's two articles on the topic, one from each point-of-view. Please read both and give your opinion.
Memoir About Being a Mom and Wife - Mother and Wife Balance
Why My Husband Will Always Come Before My Kids
Kids come first, or spouse comes first?
Here's two articles on the topic, one from each point-of-view. Please read both and give your opinion.
Memoir About Being a Mom and Wife - Mother and Wife Balance
Why My Husband Will Always Come Before My Kids
...behind me.I come first, everyone else can wait in line
...behind me.
Kids come first, or spouse comes first?
Here's two articles on the topic, one from each point-of-view. Please read both and give your opinion.
Memoir About Being a Mom and Wife - Mother and Wife Balance
Why My Husband Will Always Come Before My Kids
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