It seems my path & hers are going to cross again after 603 months... The cons please.

[post]

Taught the skills of genealogical research by a grand daughter of a daughter of my great-great grand father by his second wife,
IOW, her grandmother was my mother's grandmother's half-sister, I inherited the role of family genealogist with the passing of
my instructor in 2013 and have been trying to fill her shoes, solving several "brick walls" she had been unable to solve. The most
recent is finding the probate court documents filed in 1813 that prove my mother's grandmother's (the one described above)
grandfather was the great grandson of Philip Russell, who was the brother of the John Russell who hid this regicide judge on his Hadley, MA
farm for a number of years when the penalty for doing so was at its most severe. John Russell's son, Samuel was a founder of Yale Univ.

Angel of Hadley - Wikipedia

en.wikipedia.org

The short version is that in the past week, I learned through research efforts (an obituary) that I picked up again after filing 4 or 5 years ago what I had compiled at that time, that the woman I had probably the most dramatic and searing parting with in my life moved 900 miles from our mutual home state to currently only 30 miles from where I am typing this.

In the same early autumn week in 1971, my roommate invited this freshman on the verge of turning 18 and one or two of her friends to the room I shared with him in a four bedroom, "railroad" configuration apartment. My intensity of attraction in the hours after meeting her can probably be rivaled with only one other recollection, resulting in marriage. Even after the passage of so much time, it still seems understandable that I was moved to the degree I only pressed her for her name and the town she lived in, not even the name of the high school she had recently graduated from or her phone number and she did not ask for the phone number I shared with four
roommates. We had spent 90 percent of our first meeting in a horizontal position, seemed to be on the same wave length, she had offered no resistance to my advances.

I am the only and the older brother of several sisters, I was in awe over suddenly, seemingly out of nowhere, having her in my arms, moved more spiritually than sexually.

We hugged goodbye, reluctant to interrupt the moment, the closest I can explain it is feeling that if it had been anywhere near as intense for her as it was for me, we would meet again very soon because I sensed she was similarly reluctant to end the evening despite her concern about returning home before her parents grew really concerned on that early Saturday

I felt vulnerable as I sorted it out the next day and began to protect myself. My roommate was barely acquainted with her. During that weekend, my former roommate invited me to meet his cousin and her three roommates she shared an apartment with on the opposite edge of our college's campus. The cousin introduced me to a neighbor who stopped by, a classmate of the woman I had met the night before. I was enrolled in the class a year ahead of them. Months younger than I, this new acquaintance had a mentoring vibe, a very different impression compared to feeling struck by lightening just the night before. Again though, it seemed much too familiar
and comfortable for recent strangers to be interacting. Passion was absent but there was attraction, seemingly instant understanding and comfort from the vulnerability and emptiness I had been experiencing all that day, suddenly wrenched away from, the one!

Within two days, she invited me to sleep over, her two bedroom apartment had two sets of bunkbeds, we shared the top bunk, the bottom bunk empty because she only had two apartment mates. We spooned and I cupped her breasts. She shared with me that she had slept with every guy in her circle of friends in her town. I was finding my way through that unusual friday night through early the following week and on the plus side, I wasn't feeling as vulnerable and told myself the intensity of my feeling the Friday before could not be assumed to have been mutual.... So I had come from urges to merge my being with "the one," to the almost motherly affection and casual attraction I had moved on to. I felt like I could already talk to her about anything, even what is like to sleep with so many guys in a small town, but I did not share what I had experienced with and was feeling about, "the one".

Continued...

 

[post]

continued from the OP...

The next Friday rolled around and not having heard from the woman I felt like I had almost merged with and then wrenched away from
just the week before, I was at the apartment of my more recent and down to earth new friend discussing whether to make the long, cross campus
walk to my apartment which would be quieter than hers because my roommate in the adjacent bedroom spent weekends away and invited me
to use his room and his water bed. or to just stay at her place with her two roommates and whoever.

I was growing more comfortable with her but had not built the confidence or the attraction to have sex with her because I was intimidated and
both turned on and off by the knowledge of her experience level and indifference to her own promiscuity, ironically an attitude similar to most
of my male acquaintances. It might have been different if I had not so recently felt so intensely for someone else.

We opted to take what turned out to be that fateful walk from her place to mine. We settled in on the waterbed listening to some of
my roommate's extensive album collection. It was not long after 9:00 pm that one of my other roommates knocked on the door and
informed me there was a woman in the next room, our kitchen, asking for me.

It took a few seconds to adjust from puzzled to a confusion of conflicting emotions. I slipped into the hall after telling my companion I would be
right back, shutting the door as I walked a few steps down the "railroad" main hall and into the kitchen to lay eyes on the most attractive woman
I'd ever seen before, or since. I hugged her and then she asked if I was "busy"! Her level of confidence and the air about her seemed teasing and I wondered for decades after if all that experienced with her that night resulted from an instantly adopted, protective facade.

 

[post]

Continued from my last post...

... We kissed passionately and I pleaded with her for a raincheck and I recall asking her if
she was really giving me only this one chance... it just seemed too important, in terms of our futures,
now that she had, by her return, her hair, make up, and dress indicating she was making a new first impression,
confirming that I should have trusted my gut that our experience coming together the week before had been closer to
mutual than I could have let myself hope for.

It crossed my mind that if I did not do the right thing, resume my evening with the person I had invited to share it with,
versus the person in front of me who arrived uninvited but had every right, even from my POV, to make any instant demand
of me that she wanted, I would only postpone the recognition by her that if I could treat another woman in such a fickle manner,
it might only be a matter of brief time until she experienced her turn.

I refused to accept that she would walk out of my life, asked her to understand that I could not spend time with her that evening and
we kissed good-bye with intensity indicating it wasn't going to be over. Years later, the Meatloaf lyric, "what's it gonna be, boy, I gotta know right now.... " could have been written about that encounter.

I don't know if it would have made any difference if I had asked her if she had a way to get home or to an alternative location near or on campus. My mind and heart had been racing and I had to talk myself out of inviting her to stay over in my room, there were slat boards with
small gaps closing off what was once a wide doorway, probably between a former front room and dining room, separating the 6 feet or so
space between the bed in my room and the waterbed I was returning to to share for the night....

The next day, my roommate who lived in one of the two back bedrooms, he and I became instant close friends in the week just a month
before when we had first met, and still are...( I have a message left with him to discuss this, but he's currently on vacation) informed me that
after I said good-bye and made the choice to leave the kitchen, he had gotten acquainted with her and ended up inviting her to spend the night. He assured me she had kept her underwear on. I never asked him if he was just telling me what he assumed I wanted to hear.

I never saw her again, but obviously, I couldn't completely move on!

I feel like I was born to knock on her door, apologize to her, point out to her that I musn't have taken what happened as lightly as she probably
assumed.... say something like, I feel I was born to do this, nothing else explains why, after all this time, and the factors of you moving so close
and me learning of it.... she's two names since her family name and only the obit I found links her recently...

"...I hate to turn up out of the blue, uninvited
But I couldn't stay away, I couldn't fight it
I had hoped you'd see my face
And that you'd be reminded that for me, it isn't over.."
- Adele

BTW, she's married (second time) to an older man, my wife has been invalid under my care our entire 20 year marriage and is not doing well physically....
,,,ironically, we reunited after 27 years without contact and she was suddenly incapacitated four months into our marriage.

Considering my experience and tendencies, is anyone less likely to reflexively react with, "you're playing with fire!"

 

[Eurotrash]

This is called limerence. I would look that term up beore you do anything.

 

[post]

This is called limerence. I would look that term up beore you do anything.

Thank you, I looked up the citeria of limerence, a term I was unfamiliar with. I've thought about since the day after you posted it, (if it's not that, then that then what is it?).

I just came across the term, "soul longing," and that is the closest description I've found of this experience in its entirety. It is a yearning both rekindled
after my long repressed memories were retrieved and reconsidered in reaction to gaining the surprise awareness she had moved 900 miles and now lives in this area, along with a partial relief of "soul longing," because meeting physically seems a wasted opportunity if not pursued now.

I am 90 percent certain I've found her email address and two days ago I sent her an email following up on my only other email of ten months ago.
Rereading it, I doubt if I would have replied to it, either.

This time I shared this theory because it matches most closely both what I recall experiencing upon our first encounter with each other and what turned out to be "goodbye," one week later.

I did not include these first three in this second email I sent to her.

If my twin flame is happily married to another person, my reunion will actually never happen. Is that correct?

Answer (1 of 15): No that statement is not true. There is hope for you yet. Both my tf and I are married with children. I married my childhood sweetheart. We have beautiful children together. We never fight or argue, dream jobs, a nice house. We are the couple everyone envied. We look so happy. O...

www.quora.com

"
Pradnya Pandit
Twin Flame, Writer - Spiritual Connections 2y
No. That's not true if we consider this a genuine twin flame connection.

First of all, (you or them) being happily married and meeting a twin flame are two different things. Twin flame is NOT your “ideal romantic partner.” A twin flame does NOT come in your life to be your life partner.

The purpose of meeting a twin flame is completely different and spiritual in nature. Your twin flame becomes the reason for your spiritual transformation.

Twin flame reunion is NOT about romantically staying together as a couple under one roof. It is way much more than that and it would happen when both twin flames go through a certain inner transformation and get aligned with each other on four other levels apart from physical. That is etheral, emotional, mental and spiritual.

This does not mean that they gen not get together as a couple - they can, but that does not depend upon their marital status. If they are working on themselves, believe in the divine guidance, take actions when needed and surrender to the outcome - being in union on all levels is absolutely possible.."

What is the meaning of twin flame and is it toxic?

Twin flame is a concept that promotes an intense and powerful soul connection between two individuals. Some elements can draw comparisons with toxic relationships.

www.medicalnewstoday.com

"...Runner and chaser
As the tension rises, each twin flame carries separate roles. One, the “runner,” tries to escape the relationship. They may begin to withdraw emotionally or distance themselves physically. In extreme cases, this may last days to weeks and lead to permanent separation.

The other person, or the “chaser,” tends to be more emotionally and mentally mature and tries to sort and fix the issues..."

Amazon.com

"On June 16, 1959, when Jean Cline was 13 years old, the spirit of George Reeves came to her. That’s what she told a highly skeptical psychotherapist, Gary Duncan, when she first came to his office in the spring of 1996. Gary, who at the time was a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor holding a degree in psychology and a master’s degree in counseling, initially concluded that the woman before him was perhaps delusional, if not outright psychotic..."

https://blog.mindvalley.com/what-is-a-twin-flame/
"Also, this traditional view of twin flames implies that it happens between dual aspects – a male and a female. But a stream of consciousness isn’t dualistic. In other words, your soul stream can be incarnated as the same gender as yourself, so a twin flame love isn’t constricted by gender.You can view it as your mirror soul, or, to be more precise, it’s an intense connection with someone who mirrors you on the deepest level possible."

 

[Loulit01]

Send flowers.

 

[Eurotrash]

Our imaginations can be very fertile. Soul longing, yes, but also limerence.

From Wikipedia:
Willmott and Bentley define limerence as an acute onset, unexpected, obsessive attachment to one person (the limerent object). Limerence is characterised by internal experiences such as ruminative thinking, anxiety and depression, temporary fixation, and the disintegration of the self, and Willmott and Bentley found in their case studies that these themes find relation to unresolved earlier experiences and attempts at self-actualization.[3]

Be careful.

 

[post]

Our imaginations can be very fertile. Soul longing, yes, but also limerence.

From Wikipedia:
Willmott and Bentley define limerence as an acute onset, unexpected, obsessive attachment to one person (the limerent object). Limerence is characterised by internal experiences such as ruminative thinking, anxiety and depression, temporary fixation, and the disintegration of the self, and Willmott and Bentley found in their case studies that these themes find relation to unresolved earlier experiences and attempts at self-actualization.[3]

Be careful.

I appreciate your concern. I repressed this for my entire adult life, assuming I had moved on. I couldn't figure it out, at the time. I only softened my memory of her in reaction to becoming aware she had moved so close. I sent an email to her in February and after further research, this, second of a "two parter," today.

I explained to her in Part I, the other day, I am not a new age or an astrology buff. I walked away from Catholic teaching by mid teens. I never discussed astrology with my current or immediately preceding partner but it happens that the two of them and this person were all born under the same sign.

"As good an explanation as any,

https://subconsciousservant.com/signs-your-twin-flame-separation-is-almost-over/
By: AuthorAlan Young
Posted onPublished: August 25, 2022 - Last updated: October 20, 2022
...

7. You are ready to be vulnerable and open​

For many people, truly opening up to another person is difficult. ( (me) remarks: Oh really? Tell me about it! What, in God's name have I been writing to this woman I've repressed my memories of for the past 51 years? What enables me to more than likely appear crazed?)

Past hurts and self-doubt put blocks in the way and might even close you down to being fully open, honest, and authentic with other people.
Your twin flame is a different kind of relationship, though. It can bring out the best—and the worst—so you can both learn from your experiences and grow.
This means you will open up your entire being to your twin flame without feeling a need to censor who you are.
You’ll be able to speak openly and honestly, holding nothing back.
This level of honest authenticity might be hard for you to experience with others, but there will be something about your twin flame that makes you feel at ease about expressing yourself."

Xxxxxxx, once upon a time, there is no doubt in my mind I was "the runner". Has this dynamic reversed, since?

https://subconsciousservant.com/twin-flame-love/
By: AuthorAlexandra Tiodar
Posted onPublished: March 27, 2020 - Last updated: August 29, 2022
"..If you are reading this article right now, you are probably the chaser in your Twin Flame love story, and the most awoke one, and the one in deep emotional pain.
But if you happen to realize that you are the runner while reading this article, by all means, please go on and read, as it is very important for you to find out how the separation period is affecting your Twin and to understand what both of you can do in order to make the reunion possible.
The separation period of any Twin Flame relationship is emotionally painful for the chaser.
The chaser is the one who is aware of the fact that they have met their other half, the person they are meant to spend this life (or the next) with.
The chaser is usually more spiritually awoken, which is why they can understand the dynamic of their relationship are not afraid of its intensity, because they are ready for the ultimate union.
The runner, on the other hand, is less spiritually awoken, which makes them very uncomfortable by the fact that they have to face their deepest wounds and fears, not to mention they might not even know how to do it..."

Xxxxxxxx, I had met you once and perhaps spent four hours with you before you reappeared one week later and delivered a "what's it gonna be, boy!?" ultimatum to me that seemed to me to be perfectly within your rights to demand. It still does...
It occurred to me I've never even seen you in daylight, let alone naked, yet after all of this time, I'm thinking out loud to you in three emails versus when I had the opportunity and was unable to, triggering you to do what you felt you had to!

 

[Eurotrash]

I appreciate your concern. I repressed this for my entire adult life, assuming I had moved on. I couldn't figure it out, at the time. I only softened my memory of her in reaction to becoming aware she had moved so close. I sent an email to her in February and after further research, this, second of a "two parter," today.

I explained to her in Part I, the other day, I am not a new age or an astrology buff. I walked away from Catholic teaching by mid teens. I never discussed astrology with my current or immediately preceding partner but it happens that the two of them and this person were all born under the same sign.

"As good an explanation as any,

https://subconsciousservant.com/signs-your-twin-flame-separation-is-almost-over/
By: AuthorAlan Young
Posted onPublished: August 25, 2022 - Last updated: October 20, 2022
...

7. You are ready to be vulnerable and open​

For many people, truly opening up to another person is difficult. (Xxxxx (me) remarks: Oh really? Tell me about it! What, in God's name have I been writing to this woman I've repressed my memories of for the past 51 years? What enables me to more than likely appear crazed?)

Past hurts and self-doubt put blocks in the way and might even close you down to being fully open, honest, and authentic with other people.
Your twin flame is a different kind of relationship, though. It can bring out the best—and the worst—so you can both learn from your experiences and grow.
This means you will open up your entire being to your twin flame without feeling a need to censor who you are.
You’ll be able to speak openly and honestly, holding nothing back.
This level of honest authenticity might be hard for you to experience with others, but there will be something about your twin flame that makes you feel at ease about expressing yourself."
Doreen, once upon a time, there is no doubt in my mind I was "the runner". Has this dynamic reversed, since?
https://subconsciousservant.com/twin-flame-love/
By: AuthorAlexandra Tiodar
Posted onPublished: March 27, 2020 - Last updated: August 29, 2022
"..If you are reading this article right now, you are probably the chaser in your Twin Flame love story, and the most awoke one, and the one in deep emotional pain.
But if you happen to realize that you are the runner while reading this article, by all means, please go on and read, as it is very important for you to find out how the separation period is affecting your Twin and to understand what both of you can do in order to make the reunion possible.
The separation period of any Twin Flame relationship is emotionally painful for the chaser.
The chaser is the one who is aware of the fact that they have met their other half, the person they are meant to spend this life (or the next) with.
The chaser is usually more spiritually awoken, which is why they can understand the dynamic of their relationship are not afraid of its intensity, because they are ready for the ultimate union.
The runner, on the other hand, is less spiritually awoken, which makes them very uncomfortable by the fact that they have to face their deepest wounds and fears, not to mention they might not even know how to do it..."

Xxxxxxxx, I had met you once and perhaps spent four hours with you before you reappeared one week later and delivered a "what's it gonna be, boy!?" ultimatum to me that seemed to me to be perfectly within your rights to demand. It still does...
It occurred to me I've never even seen you in daylight, let alone naked, yet after all of this time, I'm thinking out loud to you in three emails versus when I had the opportunity and was unable to, triggering you to do what you felt you had to!

If she doesn't think you're her twin flame, then what will you do?

 

[post]

If she doesn't think you're her twin flame, then what will you do?

I anticipate I will feel liberated to some extent. Until I stumbled upon this twin flame possible explanation for these unresolved and I assumed never to be resolved questions I've had about this, in the back of my mind it had always been about "the road not taken."

I understand there is no scientific support for twin flames theory but no Catholic saw that as a deal breaker for that religion, either.

By refusing her after what has never stopped seeming an unforgettable introduction, had I screwed up both of our lives when we were on the cusp of adulthood? I never thought of her in considering asking three women to marry me. I did however, think of the women I've been married to for 20 years and had no contact with for more than 25 years before I asked my immediately preceding partner to marry. I sought out the one, my first actual lover, and after all of that time apart, we restored our bond after she picked me up at the airport and had parked in font of the restaurant we were intending to eat lunch at. She turned off the car's engine, we looked at each other, and the 25 year interruption was as if it hadn't been experienced.
We married 8 months later

But, it was not like this, the feeling like I've always been deeply connected with this person. We parted because when she appeared unexpectantly that second and since last time, her return and the ultimatum she was giving me.... commit now and send away this other person you happen to be with tonight or I'll never give you another opportunity, was not taken seriously enough by me because I took her presence and her demand to mean she was experiencing exactly what I was.

...although I knew you had competed as I had to get past (Name of our college's) entrance requirements, you had not indicated what you have, since, graduating in four years, working in your field and what I shared about you in my last email ( and I was reassured about my sense of you when I stumbled upon your comment posted in 2015 on your late uncle's online obituary tributes.) that indicated to me I should risk confronting that disappointment instead of long repressing my memory of my experience with you....)

As I wrote to her the other day (quoted directly above) in the middle email after giving her nine months to consider my reintroductory email, until I learned what she had accomplished later in life, repressing thoughts of and feelings for her was influenced by assuming she was taking revenge against me because she took my desperately repeated requests on that last night for another opportunity on a different evening to be with her as confirmation I was not experiencing the intensity of our contact as strongly as she was. Her showing up, nicely dressed wearing make up and arranged hair and insisting I drop what I was doing and "begin life with her," as it seemed she was insisting, had given me a false sense of confidence.

I've never parted permanently from anyone other than her after spending as much time as possible, literally until the final moment, holding each other and kissing.

 

[PeacefulWarrior]

The short version is that in the past week, I lear

FFS, that wasnt a "short version" of anything.

 

[Trippy Trekker]

@post -

How much of your re-surging feelings for this missed opportunity with another woman have you shared with your invalid wife?

Have you given any ethical considerations to your attempts to resume a closer relationship with this past flame?

You missed your window! You might have pursued a consensual polyamorous lifestyle in the manner of Dr. William Moulton Marston, the creator of Wonder Woman!

William Moulton Marston - Wikipedia

en.wikipedia.org

 

[post]

@post -

How much of your re-surging feelings for this missed opportunity with another woman have you shared with your invalid wife?

Have you given any ethical considerations to your attempts to resume a closer relationship with this past flame?

You missed your window! You might have pursued a consensual polyamorous lifestyle in the manner of Dr. William Moulton Marston, the creator of Wonder Woman!

William Moulton Marston - Wikipedia

en.wikipedia.org

None, I'm not a saint. I'm not going to trot out the bullshit excuse, "I can't talk about it with her because I don't want to hurt her."

The object of my curiousity is turning 69 in a few weeks. She wasn't quite 18 the last time we laid eyes on each other. We're both married to other
people but her spouse is older and mine is unwell.

I don't think this about what you think it is, from a physical standpoint but I could be misreading you. For 25 years now, my relationship direction has
been figuring out who I am supposed to be with. In hindsight it seems the answer has been where the need is greatest (not my need). Six years ago, I had a series of phone conversations with my former partner in NYC. We had not spoken in 15 years, confining contact to brief email exchanges on birthdays and holidays. After our 2016 Christmas emails she asked, "do you want to call me?"

The only reason we were apart 16 years was because my need to be elsewhere was greater. My former partner has praised me, certainly not for leaving her for someone else, but for sticking with the commitments I've made. The resumed conversations with her became too heavy on her heart (emotions, not cardiac) and we ended contact.

The experience of 20 years as a spousal care giver steers me into seeking in the future a partner similar to the one my friend in his early 70's recently
married, a former UK nurse in her mid 50's.

I don't want to take advantage of anyone because I would be able to read the mind of a partner providing chronic care to me.

I expect reaching even an understanding with this seeming spiritual connection at best has a 20 percent chance of taking place.
Partnering with her, less than half that. The choice I freely made (51 years ago) was to briefly postpone beginning a relationship with her.

I've proven better at determining where I should be and I hope to continue to get that right. I agree the best way to avoid cheating in a relationship
is to avoid setting up for it to happen.

 

[Checkerboard Strangler]

I can't imagine rekindling with an ex.
I mean, I CAN IMAGINE it...from the best serious relationships to the worst, each woman had some special quality that hooked me in the first place, moreover MORE than one quality, in fact.

The worst one was my recent before Karen, namely Linda, my first wife.
Even Linda did me exceeding kindly, it just went down the dumper in the end, that's all.
But it started gloriously. In fact, Linda was the one who GOT me that Leon Russell job which is now the glue of my life.

Thing is, Linda's now dead these last five years.
Diane is dead these last seven years...that's another one, before Linda. I lived with Diane in Minneapolis.
But it's not like I can really imagine ever rekindling something with either of them or even with any of my past old flames.
And believe me, if I am going to be honest I usually try to stay positive, so on the rare occasion that thoughts of these old flames come into my mind,
I try to have good thoughts. Karma insurance? Maybe, I want people to think well of me, so it's logical, right?

But I still can't imagine opening a can of worms.
Also, minor detail, I really do love my sweet wife Karen.
She's got her own problems but I know she loves me just the same as I do her.
Besides, to put a bit of levity into it, I thought I was captain of the house, till I realized that I "married an admiral".
I have to salute her, you know.

 

[Trippy Trekker]

None, I'm not a saint. I'm not going to trot out the bullshit excuse, "I can't talk about it with her because I don't want to hurt her."

The object of my curiousity is turning 69 in a few weeks. She wasn't quite 18 the last time we laid eyes on each other. We're both married to other
people but her spouse is older and mine is unwell.

I don't think this about what you think it is, from a physical standpoint but I could be misreading you. For 25 years now, my relationship direction has
……

All the best to you and yours! I gave your thread a pretty good once-over, including the linked story about Colonial William Goffe.

Thank you for answering my two questions. No one, IMO, escapes their karma.

 

[post]

Continued from my last post... see excerpt, below,

"... We kissed passionately and I pleaded with her for a raincheck and I recall asking her if
she was really giving me only this one chance... it just seemed too important, in terms of our futures,
now that she had, by her return, her hair, make up, and dress indicating she was making a new first impression,
confirming that I should have trusted my gut that our experience coming together the week before had been closer to
mutual than I could have let myself hope for.

It crossed my mind that if I did not do the right thing, resume my evening with the person I had invited to share it with,
versus the person in front of me who arrived uninvited but had every right, even from my POV, to make any instant demand
of me that she wanted, I would only postpone the recognition by her that if I could treat another woman in such a fickle manner,
it might only be a matter of brief time until she experienced her turn.

I refused to accept that she would walk out of my life, asked her to understand that I could not spend time with her that evening and
we kissed good-bye with intensity indicating it wasn't going to be over. Years later, the Meatloaf lyric, "what's it gonna be, boy, I gotta know right now.... " could have been written about that encounter."

So last night I felt I had finally pulled alongside her level of awareness of 51 years ago.
This is the first time I've ever felt I understood why she was not upset finding me with someone else and also insisted it would be now
or never.

What she couldn't say.
"Listen, idiot, I didn't ask to feel like I was struck by lightening from the instant we met last week or even to be here, tonight.
Either you confirm you're the one, indicate you have no choice but to be "us" or you assert your free will, demonstrating you are
not "the one," or are not ready. I can't prompt you, you have to recognize and accept as I am, or not."

I couldn't and my refusal, just as she warned me, released her. I had insufficient relationship experience to know our mutual recognition at "first blush" would be a once in a lifetime experience and opportunity.

I repressed much of it for the next 50 years because I did not understand her behavior and needed to protect myself from the gut punch of her entry and exit in my life. 50 years of confused resentment was interrupted 10 months ago when I acquired the unlikely awareness she had moved 900 miles to within about 30 miles of me, prompting me for the first time to reassess with the benefit of a lifetime of adult experience including three marriages and finally giving her the benefit of the doubt!

10 Signs You Have Connected With A Soulmate

Listen to the wisdom of your heart.

www.huffpost.com

"Soulmates don’t have to be romantic but very often they are. This is due to the strong attraction that is felt when connecting with a soulmate.

Soulmates also don’t have to be forever. Often once the lesson is learned and the soul has been awakened, soulmates can move on.

This may be very different to what you have heard about the soulmate connection, but it may also describe those heated and intimate relationships that change everything yet don’t last.

Sometimes soulmate relationships can blossom into forever, and other times they are too intense and need to be released.

Even though soulmates may not physically stay together forever, the love is always there. Soulmates touch us in such deep and profound ways that their memory will always remain.

If you are wondering if you have encountered a soulmate connection, here are 10 typical signs:

1.) You feel an instant and strong attraction to the person. Perhaps, you feel like you know or understand each other already.

2.) The relationship, whether romantic or not, has an intensity that can’t really be explained. You may also feel a strong past life connection.

3.) The encounter can often bring many life changes. Perhaps, meeting this person turns your life around in a dramatic way.
....
6.) If in a romantic relationship, the strong build of energy may cause you to enter into an “on again-off again” cycle.

7.) You meet or exit each other’s lives in somewhat fated circumstances.

8.) You feel a longing or extremely strong attraction to each other, but often once the lesson has been learned, the attraction may fade or change.

9.) Your coming together feels bigger than just the two of you. Perhaps, you both feel as if you are working towards something greater.

10.) You feel very in tune or in-sync with each other, almost like you know what each other are feeling."

 

[Loulit01]

I get high when I see you go by
My oh my
When you sigh, my, my inside just flies
Butterflies
Why am I so shy when I'm beside you?

It's only love and that is all
Why should I feel the way I do?
It's only love, and that is all
But it's so hard loving you

Is it right that you and I should fight
Every night?
Just the sight of you makes nighttime bright
Very bright
Haven't I the right to make it up girl?

 

[post]

I get high when I see you go by
My oh my
When you sigh, my, my inside just flies
Butterflies
Why am I so shy when I'm beside you?

It's only love and that is all
Why should I feel the way I do?
It's only love, and that is all
But it's so hard loving you

Is it right that you and I should fight
Every night?
Just the sight of you makes nighttime bright
Very bright
Haven't I the right to make it up girl?

This is the closest to similar to what I remember feeling immediately, the only thing that's saved me is repressing it, frozen it. It's thawing.
Sending her a birthday card, first one ever, next week.

Felice and Boudleaux Bryant - Wikipedia

en.wikipedia.org

"She was working as an elevator operator at the Schroeder Hotel when she saw Bryant. She has said that she "recognized" him immediately; she had seen his face in a dream when she was eight years old, and had "looked for him forever." She was 19 when they met... Bryant and Scaduto eloped five[6] days after meeting.[5] Boudleaux's song "All I Have to Do Is Dream" is "autobiographical" for Felice."

they wrote and are singing their song.

 

[post]

the great thing about the internet is there is plenty of self help to distract me from, "You let her go".

What if your twin flame is with someone else?

Answer (1 of 5): Most of the time it seems DM runs to someone else or back to someone else. Thats refuge and for me personally that hasn’t been the hardest part of this. Let’s face it the relationships we have with our twins when asleep can hardly be called peaceful for most of us. They rock us l...

www.quora.com

What if your twin flame is with someone else?

How did your marriage work out if it wasn't with your twin flame?

11 people want answers to this question. Be the first to answer.

www.quora.com

If my twin flame is happily married to another person, my reunion will actually never happen. Is that correct?

Answer (1 of 15): No that statement is not true. There is hope for you yet. Both my tf and I are married with children. I married my childhood sweetheart. We have beautiful children together. We never fight or argue, dream jobs, a nice house. We are the couple everyone envied. We look so happy. O...

www.quora.com

If my twin flame is happily married to another person, my reunion will actually never happen. Is that correct?

 

[Trippy Trekker]

@post -

With less emphasis on looking back or ahead, how do you feel right now? Does food taste better? Do you find yourself connecting to the lyrics of love songs? Do you feel an extra bounce in your step and a heightened sense of elation? Do you crave every moment spent in communication with your soulmate?

 

[post]

@post -

With less emphasis on looking back or ahead, how do you feel right now? Does food taste better? Do you find yourself connecting to the lyrics of love songs? Do you feel an extra bounce in your step and a heightened sense of elation? Do you crave every moment spent in communication with your soulmate?

This is the third time her "orbit" has brought her near. The first was 51 years ago when my roommate walked into our room with her and introduced us, the second was one week later when she came back, asking to begin or continue a relationship, and recently when she moved 900 miles to this vicinity, which I consider the middle of nowhere compared to our suburban NYC origins. Her adjacent county to mine went 7 to 3 for Herschel Walker. I came here from upper west side Manhattan.

Since my memory of her was repressed until less than a year ago, fascination best describes how I feel, over the consideration I've shared only four hours with her when we met, another 30 minutes the only other time I've seen her, and that I'm even aware that she lives here in "nowhere" land.

The person I was in a four year relationship with in Manhattan before I moved here met me at the Starbucks next to her building after we exchanged
one message on an internet dating site resulting in a call from her to arrange to meet. Five dates later we discovered our recently deceased mothers shared the same birthday and we still were strangers compared to when I made eye contact with this soul connection when my roommate said her name
to me.

As irrational as it seems, I'm not ruling out that in person contact with this long lost woman might confirm whether there is life after death. I don't consider myself the kind of personality that would expect that, much less share that expectation.

 

[Eurotrash]

This is the third time her "orbit" has brought her near. The first was 51 years ago when my roommate walked into our room with her and introduced us, the second was one week later when she came back, asking to begin or continue a relationship, and recently when she moved 900 miles to this vicinity, which I consider the middle of nowhere compared to our suburban NYC origins. Her adjacent county to mine went 7 to 3 for Herschel Walker. I came here from upper west side Manhattan.

Since my memory of her was repressed until less than a year ago, fascination best describes how I feel, over the consideration I've shared only four hours with her when we met, another 30 minutes the only other time I've seen her, and that I'm even aware that she lives here in "nowhere" land.

The person I was in a four year relationship with in Manhattan before I moved here met me at the Starbucks next to her building after we exchanged
one message on an internet dating site resulting in a call from her to arrange to meet. Five dates later we discovered our recently deceased mothers shared the same birthday and we still were strangers compared to when I made eye contact with this soul connection when my roommate said her name
to me.

As irrational as it seems, I'm not ruling out that in person contact with this long lost woman might confirm whether there is life after death. I don't consider myself the kind of personality that would expect that, much less share that expectation.

You shared it with us.

Is this a kind of fan fiction?

 

[post]

You shared it with us.

Is this a kind of fan fiction?

Good point! It is possible.

Last night I had a phone conversation about this topic with my roommate of 51 years ago. We keep in touch on social media but had not actually talked to each other in several years. He described a recent phone conversation with a mutual friend just hours before the man died of kidney failure.
He said he told our friend who was in a half waking state, his wife holding the phone for him, that he would soon be reunited with lost loved ones.
We agreed our Roman Catholic upbringings "didn't take," neither of us subscribe to its doctrine or to spirtuality. He seemed supportive of my speculating this is about reincarnation, reinforced by the consideration that her current married name is among the three most common in the U.S.
yet I bothered to and did locate her as if my awareness fell into my lap.

She's become the genealogist in her family and can appreciate how hit or miss learning such things is in a country this sized with this extent of concentration of the population into a small number of surnames.

He asked me, "how long did the two of you date?"
I told him we had never dated and that he had spent more time with her than I had. I shared how I immediately connected with her.
She had used him as a human shield, stopping any inclination I might have had to pursue her. She influenced me to notice him. Three years later, another old friend and I drove him and his belongings to NYC where he was about to begin graduate school. He is still there. In 2002 I met those two friends a week before moving from NYC to where she and I find ourselves living now.

this was taken perhaps 12 years to the day after he and I last saw her. His hand is on my shoulder.

 

[EMNofSeattle]

Continued from my last post...

... We kissed passionately and I pleaded with her for a raincheck and I recall asking her if
she was really giving me only this one chance... it just seemed too important, in terms of our futures,
now that she had, by her return, her hair, make up, and dress indicating she was making a new first impression,
confirming that I should have trusted my gut that our experience coming together the week before had been closer to
mutual than I could have let myself hope for.

It crossed my mind that if I did not do the right thing, resume my evening with the person I had invited to share it with,
versus the person in front of me who arrived uninvited but had every right, even from my POV, to make any instant demand
of me that she wanted, I would only postpone the recognition by her that if I could treat another woman in such a fickle manner,
it might only be a matter of brief time until she experienced her turn.

I refused to accept that she would walk out of my life, asked her to understand that I could not spend time with her that evening and
we kissed good-bye with intensity indicating it wasn't going to be over. Years later, the Meatloaf lyric, "what's it gonna be, boy, I gotta know right now.... " could have been written about that encounter.

I don't know if it would have made any difference if I had asked her if she had a way to get home or to an alternative location near or on campus. My mind and heart had been racing and I had to talk myself out of inviting her to stay over in my room, there were slat boards with
small gaps closing off what was once a wide doorway, probably between a former front room and dining room, separating the 6 feet or so
space between the bed in my room and the waterbed I was returning to to share for the night....

The next day, my roommate who lived in one of the two back bedrooms, he and I became instant close friends in the week just a month
before when we had first met, and still are...( I have a message left with him to discuss this, but he's currently on vacation) informed me that
after I said good-bye and made the choice to leave the kitchen, he had gotten acquainted with her and ended up inviting her to spend the night. He assured me she had kept her underwear on. I never asked him if he was just telling me what he assumed I wanted to hear.

I never saw her again, but obviously, I couldn't completely move on!

I feel like I was born to knock on her door, apologize to her, point out to her that I musn't have taken what happened as lightly as she probably
assumed.... say something like, I feel I was born to do this, nothing else explains why, after all this time, and the factors of you moving so close
and me learning of it.... she's two names since her family name and only the obit I found links her recently...

"...I hate to turn up out of the blue, uninvited
But I couldn't stay away, I couldn't fight it
I had hoped you'd see my face
And that you'd be reminded that for me, it isn't over.."
- Adele

BTW, she's married (second time) to an older man, my wife has been invalid under my care our entire 20 year marriage and is not doing well physically....
,,,ironically, we reunited after 27 years without contact and she was suddenly incapacitated four months into our marriage.

Considering my experience and tendencies, is anyone less likely to reflexively react with, "you're playing with fire!"

Engaging in or soliciting an affair is wrong. /thread

 

[post]

Engaging in or soliciting an affair is wrong. /thread

I haven’t seen any evidence he’s done that since marrying Melania.

Stormy Daniels - Wikipedia

en.wikipedia.org

"..On behalf of his client, Cohen denied the existence of an affair between Trump and Daniels,[55] but he later stated: "In a private transaction in 2016, I used my own personal funds to facilitate a payment of $130,000 to Ms. Stephanie Clifford."[56]...In August 2018, Cohen reached a plea deal with prosecutors, saying he paid off Daniels "at the direction of the ... candidate" and "for the principal purpose of influencing the election".[5] In September 2018, Cohen offered to invalidate the non-disclosure agreement with Daniels if she would refund the $130,000 Cohen's company paid to her.[64][65] Lawyers for Trump have declared that Trump will neither enforce the non-disclosure agreement nor contest Daniels' claim that it is invalid.[66] ..."

You don't recognize it when it's obvious and supported by sworn testimony and by an attempted cover up financial trail but you've taken the trouble to ferret it out in this particular thread, despite the content to the contrary in my posts.