I was censored on another forum!

[jallman]

Re:

Oh dear kelzie, you let my dirty little secret out. I am amazed that some people dont realize that about me ever since the train wreck forum...I thought that one pretty much outed me for good. No, skil, its not something I advertise because I dont think sexuality goes on your sleeve no more appropriately than your heart does. I would think that having either exposed makes life a bit messy and overly vulnerable.

And the 60's was the liberal awakening. I thought you could appreciate those times? However, I know what ya mean. Hey, I can sweet talk a lady too.

IMO I like strawberries better casue they are more juicy.

I dont think I would use the word juicey even with a guy I was trying to sweet talk...too much overt suggestion in that word...juicy...even just how it sounds...juicy.

And all the while
You thought I couldnt make you smile
Even though shes a liberal
I can still be considerable
When a man can learn to compromise
He can easily expect to fanticize
When I think of love
I think of my dove
Where has kelzie been all my life
She has no idea Id like to make her my wife

Just something I whipped up off the top of my head.

Thats good...for an amateur. Let me show you how its done. :twisted:


The time I've spent in viewing
And actively pursuing
The light that lies
In Kelzie's eyes
Has been my heart's undoing.

And love I'm always hunting
But other's now I' shunning
Her lips so sweet
That now my feet
Toward her are always running

For we first met in passing
But the impression...everlasting
My heart inflamed
Shall not be tamed
So now the die I'm casting!

Venus, lovely Muse
With aim strong and true
Swift and sure
Sent Cupid's lure
To pierce my heart right through!


Its all in the emotion and the thought...you cant just whip a verse off your head and call it poetry...that is called rap.

 

[Kelzie]

Re:

O god I am just going to have to think the soccer player is a girl. Cause otherwise thats just nasty. :lol:

Mia Hamm did it too. She kicked ass.

 

[SKILMATIC]

Re:

Oh dear kelzie, you let my dirty little secret out. I am amazed that some people dont realize that about me ever since the train wreck forum...I thought that one pretty much outed me for good. No, skil, its not something I advertise because I dont think sexuality goes on your sleeve no more appropriately than your heart does. I would think that having either exposed makes life a bit messy and overly vulnerable.



I dont think I would use the word juicey even with a guy I was trying to sweet talk...too much overt suggestion in that word...juicy...even just how it sounds...juicy.



Thats good...for an amateur. Let me show you how its done. :twisted:


The time I've spent in viewing
And actively pursuing
The light that lies
In Kelzie's eyes
Has been my heart's undoing.

And love I'm always hunting
But other's now I' shunning
Her lips so sweet
That now my feet
Toward her are always running

For we first met in passing
But the impression...everlasting
My heart inflamed
Shall not be tamed
So now the die I'm casting!

Venus, lovely Muse
With aim strong and true
Swift and sure
Sent Cupid's lure
To pierce my heart right through!


Its all in the emotion and the thought...you cant just whip a verse off your head and call it poetry...that is called rap.

Dude, shes like 1400miles away. Im not trying to make love to her over the computer. :lol:

Btw, rap has gotten many people laid. Just thought Id let you know.

 

[jallman]

Re:

Dude, shes like 1400miles away. Im not trying to make love to her over the computer. :lol:

Btw, rap has gotten many people laid. Just thought Id let you know.

probably so LOL. I can think of a couple really hot rappers. And I am just ribbing you cuz poetry is something I actually excel at. Dont take offense.

And I am certainly not trying to make love to her at all...but I think that went without saying :lol:

But damn, its funny how girls make men overly competitive. maybe I am gonna start growing hair in funny places and start thinking about girls soon...

 

[SKILMATIC]

Re:

probably so LOL. I can think of a couple really hot rappers. And I am just ribbing you cuz poetry is something I actually excel at. Dont take offense.

Like who? Eminem? 50cent?

And I kinda figured you were a poet in the iambic pentameter post.

 

[SKILMATIC]

Re:

probably so LOL. I can think of a couple really hot rappers. And I am just ribbing you cuz poetry is something I actually excel at. Dont take offense.

And I am certainly not trying to make love to her at all...but I think that went without saying :lol:

But damn, its funny how girls make men overly competitive. maybe I am gonna start growing hair in funny places and start thinking about girls soon...

No stay the way you are cause you can have all the men you want lol. I will give them to you. As long as you dont like girls I am a happy camper :lol:

 

[jallman]

Re:

No stay the way you are cause you can have all the men you want lol. I will give them to you. As long as you dont like girls I am a happy camper :lol:

HAHAHA ok fair enough, skil. And no 50 cent was not one of my top choices...but eminem...that one was a given I thought. :rofl

 

[Kelzie]

Silly boys. The best poetry doesn't rhyme.

Now jallman, my dear poetry buff. If you can tell me what type of rhyme scheme this is, I'll give you the raspberry tart for free. :mrgreen: A hint. There's ten syllables in each verse. And I knocked off four stanzas cause I don't really care that much...

Romeo, where for art thou Romeo?
A rose be any other name is a rose.
Then speak now or forever hold your tongue.
To what use these phrases of enternal love,
When love is but a guilded cage
That keeps the soul in and other love out.

And why, if love is love, must we shut out
affection from a second Romeo?
I will tell you, since you ask, where this cage
Of your love can go. Take your fickled rose,
your sonnet and verse. You can have your love.
As for me? I'll take night and the soft tongue,

Of a false love. A shiny, plastic rose
Won't be put out by a crazed Romeo.
And there is no cage that will stop it's tongue.


Wow look. I have symbolism too...

 

[jallman]

Silly boys. The best poetry doesn't rhyme.

Now jallman, my dear poetry buff. If you can tell me what type of rhyme scheme this is, I'll give you the raspberry tart for free. :mrgreen: A hint. There's ten syllables in each verse. And I knocked off four stanzas cause I don't really care that much...

Romeo, where for art thou Romeo?
A rose be any other name is a rose.
Then speak now or forever hold your tongue.
To what use these phrases of enternal love,
When love is but a guilded cage
That keeps the soul in and other love out.

And why, if love is love, must we shut out
affection from a second Romeo?
I will tell you, since you ask, where this cage
Of your love can go. Take your fickled rose,
your sonnet and verse. You can have your love.
As for me? I'll take night and the soft tongue,

Of a false love. A shiny, plastic rose
Won't be put out by a crazed Romeo.
And there is no cage that will stop it's tongue.


Wow look. I have symbolism too...

its a blank verse iambic sonnet...similar to a petrarchian sonnet.

And did you have to scorn such a gesture on skil's and my part with THAT!

Reminds me of the Nymph's Reply to the Passionate Shepherd.

 

[Kelzie]

its a blank verse iambic sonnet...similar to a petrarchian sonnet.

And did you have to scorn such a gesture on skil's and my part with THAT!

Reminds me of the Nymph's Reply to the Passionate Shepherd.

Tut tut. It's a sestina. I call it cheatin rhyme, cause I don't think you should be able to rhyme with the same word. The longer poems are more obvious, but every verse ends with one of six words in different orders. The last stanza has three verses with the six words in it, with three at the end, and three spaced roughly in the middle of each line. We made fun of it (and by we, I mean I) in english class, so the TA made us all write one. Actually kind of fun to use as a frame for your poem.

Didn't mean to scorn you. I certainly can't rhyme like that. I'm just a bitch by nature...

And never read it. So I can't be accused of copying it. :2razz:

 

[jallman]

Tut tut. It's a sestina. I call it cheatin rhyme, cause I don't think you should be able to rhyme with the same word. The longer poems are more obvious, but every verse ends with one of six words in different orders. The last stanza has three verses with the six words in it, with three at the end, and three spaced roughly in the middle of each line. We made fun of it (and by we, I mean I) in english class, so the TA made us all write one. Actually kind of fun to use as a frame for your poem.

Didn't mean to scorn you. I certainly can't rhyme like that. I'm just a bitch by nature...

And never read it. So I can't be accused of copying it. :2razz:

Ah, I remember that now. Petrarch used that verse also. He was also guilty of the Heroic Verse which is a really bizarre variation on the iambic pentameter.

And no, I wasnt accusing you of copying the sonnet...just that the sentiment is the same. Here, read these in order for a good laugh.

http://www.bartleby.com/106/5.html

And then her reply...

http://www.luminarium.org/renlit/nymphsreply.htm

Enjoy!!!

 

[Kelzie]

Ah, I remember that now. Petrarch used that verse also. He was also guilty of the Heroic Verse which is a really bizarre variation on the iambic pentameter.

And no, I wasnt accusing you of copying the sonnet...just that the sentiment is the same. Here, read these in order for a good laugh.

http://www.bartleby.com/106/5.html

And then her reply...

http://www.luminarium.org/renlit/nymphsreply.htm

Enjoy!!!

Now that's poetry. :lol: I'm not too big on this whole free flow, stream of consciousness movement that's been happening ( I am sooo sorry if that's your favorite type to write). I don't care if it rhymes, but it has to look like some talent went in to it. Like your poem had rhyme, and certain number of syllables to certain verses and a pattern of stressed and unstressed syllables. That stuff's freakin hard! Half of the time I was writing that poem, I was counting syllables. I give up on stresses. :mrgreen:

 

[jallman]

Now that's poetry. :lol: I'm not too big on this whole free flow, stream of consciousness movement that's been happening ( I am sooo sorry if that's your favorite type to write). I don't care if it rhymes, but it has to look like some talent went in to it. Like your poem had rhyme, and certain number of syllables to certain verses and a pattern of stressed and unstressed syllables. That stuff's freakin hard! Half of the time I was writing that poem, I was counting syllables. I give up on stresses. :mrgreen:

Well, I am very disciplined in my writing...I am extremely structured and so I get accused of stifling creativity in favor of mechanics. I think it takes both to make truly great poetry on par with Byron, Petrarch, Milton, Johnson...all of the real greats. That verse you spun was beautiful, despite its jaded sentiment.

 

[tecoyah]

Breath this Paid For Line

Breath this paid for line
Make me see your imagined path
As this road is drawn by writers quill
Fabricated belief is propogandas’ birth
Oh, how you feel my countrys’ ache
A crowd at a time
Tell us plans of future times
Knowing full well, what is the chance
Proclaim your love and show ill will
For such fortitude as needed for my earth
Is beyond your reach to take
And this indeed, is crime

Fail me, as you will
I am but one, amongst this mass
But in the end all will fail
If yours is set to pass