I was an ugly ass kid

[sharon]

There once was an ugly duckling
With feathers all stubby and brown
And the other birds said in so many words
Get out of town
Get out, get out, get out of town
And he went with a quack and a waddle and a quack
In a flurry of eiderdown
That poor little ugly duckling
Went wandering far and near
But at every place they said to his face
Now get out, get out, get out of here
And he went with a quack and a waddle and a quack
And a very unhappy tear
All through the wintertime he hid himself away
Ashamed to show his face, afraid of what others might say
All through the winter in his lonely clump of wheat
Till a flock of swans spied him there and very soon agreed
You’re a very fine swan indeed!
A swan? Me a swan? Ah, go on!
And he said yes, you’re a swan
Take a look at yourself in the lake and you’ll see
And he looked, and he saw, and he said
I am a swan! Wheeeeeeee!

 

[Mach]

I don't think anyone gets out of childhood without some scars and self-esteem questions and hang-ups, some worse than others of course.

In your case, I hate to tell you but it's the fairly-tale. The late bloomer girl with glasses that turns into a hottie when she's actually of age to start considering dating...that's textbook ideal for a lot of people. You had the time to develop outside of "boys and looks", and once you hit your stride you get the best of both worlds...the personality and perspective of someone who wasn't always finding things easy due to looks, but getting the looks once that personality is developed. I know that doesn't necessarily mean you specifically benefited, or that it somehow makes those negative self-esteem naggings better, but maybe it gives you a little perspective. Part of me hopes my own daughter stays...under the radar...until she's older...hell, 18 maybe . If you were hot from day one, you'd likley be a shallow bitch :0 right? Or use to getting her way just by flaunting looks, never having to develop other skills/personality to compenate. This way, you mix-maxed (for the gamers out there).

Remember the flip side too. I peaked in 8th grade...every cute girl my age that I recall in school was interested. Of course, I had no clue what to do with that...it was slightly annoying and bewilidering. Do you think that was a good use of looks at that age? I'd rather have peaked at 18, 19. And you know, some of those tom-boy looking girls in 8th grade that wanted to "go steady", who I flat out rejected, I saw them at the university at around age 19. And in the yearbook of where they went to high school (differeng high school). My jaw dropped. Couldn't get a date with them to save my life at that point. So while you get that nagging of ugly-duckling, some of those guys will have that nagging of "I missed out on that girl, she turned out to be so hot". Just giving you some perspective for what it's worth.

 

[Paul Austin]

I wasn't an ugly kid, bit I have always looked much younger than whatever age I actually I am at the time. When I was a senior in high school, my face looked like I had just started in junior high. Now I'm in my 30s, and I have had many random people that I was making small talk with express shock and say they thought I was still in high school. I get carded EVERY single time for anything that has a minimum age requirement

I know what you're thinking. This guy is seriously complaining about looking young? But there is a huge downside to it because people don't take you seriously whether it be professionally or otherwise.

I am extremely self conscious about it and always have been.

I was 32 the first & only time I was asked for ID.

I genuinely laughed out loud when the girl asked me.

 

[Lutherf]

I wasn't an ugly kid, bit I have always looked much younger than whatever age I actually I am at the time. When I was a senior in high school, my face looked like I had just started in junior high. Now I'm in my 30s, and I have had many random people that I was making small talk with express shock and say they thought I was still in high school. I get carded EVERY single time for anything that has a minimum age requirement

I know what you're thinking. This guy is seriously complaining about looking young? But there is a huge downside to it because people don't take you seriously whether it be professionally or otherwise.

I am extremely self conscious about it and always have been.

I feel for you. When I was in the service we had a guy in my unit who looked like he was 16 and he had all kinds of problems because of that. We made several attempts (some rather successful!) to get him to use it to his advantage and in one case had truly epic success but, since he's a public official now, I really shouldn't go into details.

 

[joko104]

My childhood and youth was among isolated, completely sadistic and violent amoral alcoholics. That past very much defines much of my psychology and how I developed my life and life style. I never will be seen without at least wearing a sleeveless T-shirt. Even around my wife, only rarely in dark with her now, but I'll have it back on before sunrise due to scars. Although I also have them on arms, legs and some on my face, mostly my back. Belts, whips, cigarette burns. Otherwise I have never been troubled by my appearance, which is rough. I was very phobic about always becoming tougher and more trained - as in capable to break down any man if need be pro-actively or as a preventative. To never fear men again. In some ways, I look like someone who probably should be on death row.

As the song goes, "some girls don't like boys like me, but some girls do." My appearance would give a strong clue what kind of ride she'd be in for. Most women would not want that, but some exactly did. And a pre-warning visual to other men to pick someone else to prick around or mess with. I never argued about anything with anyone. Very simplistic and direct. My personality matched my appearance. In some ways still does, but I am more restrained now.

One time my wife told that in intimacy in the dark, as she feels the muscles and scars of my back it is emotionally overwhelming to her. But her reasoning was curious and odd. That for all that was in my past including what the story of those muscles and scars tell, the greatest blessing of her life is that she is the one who ended up having me to spend a lifetime with. And that she fears that such things happened so that when the time came I would be exactly perfect for her. I doubt any other woman would see it that way.

 

[joko104]

My own story has been told a couple times around here, but I'll repeat it.

I was born with a full facial birthmark. From ear to ear and from the corners of my lips up over the crown of my skull, the skin is purple in color. Due to this, I have severe glaucoma in both eyes which was diagnosed at the age of three, I had a serious overbite which was not able to be corrected until my early teen years, and just after my fourth birthday I suffered two petite and one grand mal seizure. The grand mal seizure left the entire left side of my body paralyzed for almost eighteen hours.

In 1978, the medical community didn't think about giving physical therapy to a four year old who had suffered such an incident. Instead their response was to put me on a medication called phenobarbitol. The effect of this, beyond eliminating any further seizures was to severely stunt my physical development. By the time I was ten, my two younger brothers were bigger, stronger, faster, and more athletically gifted than me in every way despite the fact that they were two and three years younger than me. I was also the kid who had to go to the nurse's office every day at lunch time to get eye drops. As you can imagine that and my appearance did absolute wonders for my social life.

At age fifteen my parents finally talked the doctors into taking me off the pheno and by the time I graduated high school at age seventeen, things had improved slightly. To this day, I still have a significantly shortened torso and the doctors tell me I should be probably five to six inches taller if not for that (I'm about 5'-5"). Of course none of this helped my social life in high school or college.

Throughout my primary and secondary education, there were always people who would find a reason to hastle me. It didn't bother me so much in the elementary days, but by middle and high school it did begin to frustrate me more than a little. Especially when people who I thought were my friends did it; which most often occured when I bested them at some mental task.

In college it wasn't a significant issue, but I still found it difficult to get dates or maintain a relationship. Though it was after college that I got the ultimate negative experience with a woman.... a blind date who informed me that she'd rather "date and mate with my dog" before slamming the door in my face. The co-worker who had set the date up swore she'd been up front with her friend about my appearance ahead of time, but it was still a very tough blow to deal with.

All-in-all, my appearance has always been an issue in my life. Not so much for ME as for the people around me. I get asked on a regular basis whether I would have it removed if I could and my answer is always the same..... "No. I wouldn't know who the person in the mirror was afterwards." I've grown to largely be able to ignore the stares, comments, etc... over time but my girlfriend hears/sees them constantly and it really bothers her.

Thank you for your candor.

 

[PirateMk1]

Growing up, I was an ugly child. At the age of three, I had to wear glasses, which at that time, were only brown color (only one style available), they were thick as hell because I'm blind as a damn bat... and they were glass. Since I was so young, I had to wear a band thing that went around my head to keep my glasses on my face.

I continued this journey of ugly when my mother lopped all my hair off at around 3rd grade. I looked like a boy and had some funky clothing (it was the 70s.. who didn't have funky clothes, right? lol)

Anyway... fast forward to junior high (they call middle school now) and I was tall, really thin and gawky. Still had big ole glasses... and had no luck with boys. I was teased a lot, boys would bark at me like I was a dog... ugh.

Then something happened when I hit high school. I lost the glasses (they weren't stylish like they are now) and that helped my self esteem quite a bit. My folks sprung for contact lenses, I had boobs and an actual definitive waist. I grew two inches and suddenly all the boys who had just a year prior to that, were barking at me, were now wanting to date me.

I didn't have problems dating from about 16 on, and in my late teens/early twenties had guys hitting on me.. but still... I couldn't shake the stigma of seeing myself as perpetually being the ugly duckling.

Over the years, my confidence in myself grew through other means - my success in my career and assertiveness and my other interests.

I just wonder how many other people out there are like me and no matter how many times they are complimented, still see themselves in a way that they kind of got "stuck" with at a young age?

I don't dwell on this, but there are times where this feeling rears its ugly head and it can be hard to shake.

I have absolutely no idea what you are talking about. I have to tie a porkchop around my neck to get the dog to even come near me. If you consider the ass end of a baboon pretty, then I am beautifull.:mrgreen: I have been ugly all my life and it seems destined to continue to be ugly for the rest of what 30yrs I got left. Add to the fact that gravity is doing me no favors. I have come to terms with it. Girls like pretty men. Women like funny, confident men. I aint especially funny, but I more than make that up in confidence. Good thing I LOVE women.

 

[lizzie]

My own story has been told a couple times around here, but I'll repeat it.

.......

All-in-all, my appearance has always been an issue in my life. Not so much for ME as for the people around me. I get asked on a regular basis whether I would have it removed if I could and my answer is always the same..... "No. I wouldn't know who the person in the mirror was afterwards." I've grown to largely be able to ignore the stares, comments, etc... over time but my girlfriend hears/sees them constantly and it really bothers her.

Thanks for posting that Tigger. I haven't seen it before, and it really gives me insight that I wanted to have. That's a terribly difficult situation to deal with, and now I can understand better where you come from, and why your expressed opinions are often difficult for me to relate to.

 

[Tigger]

Thanks for posting that Tigger. I haven't seen it before, and it really gives me insight that I wanted to have. That's a terribly difficult situation to deal with, and now I can understand better where you come from, and why your expressed opinions are often difficult for me to relate to.

You're welcome. I know it's been discussed previously, at least in parts. Life is not always fun or pleasant and there isn't always a whole lot that we can do about that. It just comes with the territory sometimes.

 

[DiAnna]

Growing up, I was an ugly child. At the age of three, I had to wear glasses, which at that time, were only brown color (only one style available), they were thick as hell because I'm blind as a damn bat... and they were glass. Since I was so young, I had to wear a band thing that went around my head to keep my glasses on my face.

I continued this journey of ugly when my mother lopped all my hair off at around 3rd grade. I looked like a boy and had some funky clothing (it was the 70s.. who didn't have funky clothes, right? lol)

Anyway... fast forward to junior high (they call middle school now) and I was tall, really thin and gawky. Still had big ole glasses... and had no luck with boys. I was teased a lot, boys would bark at me like I was a dog... ugh.

Then something happened when I hit high school. I lost the glasses (they weren't stylish like they are now) and that helped my self esteem quite a bit. My folks sprung for contact lenses, I had boobs and an actual definitive waist. I grew two inches and suddenly all the boys who had just a year prior to that, were barking at me, were now wanting to date me.

I didn't have problems dating from about 16 on, and in my late teens/early twenties had guys hitting on me.. but still... I couldn't shake the stigma of seeing myself as perpetually being the ugly duckling.

Over the years, my confidence in myself grew through other means - my success in my career and assertiveness and my other interests.

I just wonder how many other people out there are like me and no matter how many times they are complimented, still see themselves in a way that they kind of got "stuck" with at a young age?

I don't dwell on this, but there are times where this feeling rears its ugly head and it can be hard to shake.

LOL, hello blind-as-a-bat, meet your sister from another mother, also blind-as-a-bat!!! Huge, thick, horn-rimmed glasses from about the age of 8. Teachers told my parents I had to walk right up to the chalk board (I sat in the front row) to copy what was on it. My parents were not happy, but they trudged me to the eye doctor... lo and behold, somewhere around 20-1200 (which decreased up to 20-2400 over the decades). So eventually the eye doc plopped a 2 lb anvil on my nose, and I squee'd with delight all the way home! "Daddy, I didn't know those big buildings actually had windows in them!"

Then I went to school sporting my new best friend on my nose, proud and thrilled by the miraculous gift of sight... only to be met by hoots and jeers from my classmates, who instantly dubbed me "fattie-fattie four-eyes." Oh, yeah, I was chubby too. Childhood was not a big self-esteem builder for me. :mrgreen:

I actually didn't bloom until my mid-20's, when as a divorced young mom I was shocked to find myself being trailed by men wanting to date (or whatever, lol) me. I'd look in the mirror, and I really didn't see what they saw. Only now, as I look back on photos of me back in the day can I appreciate that damn, I really was hot! Bummer. I wished I could have seen and flaunted it at the time, lol. Now it's much, much too late! :lol:

So I hear ya', sister, I hear ya'!

P.S. After two catarac surgeries, I have 20/20 vision for the first time in my entire life!! I'll take it!! :lamo

 

[lizzie]

LOL, hello blind-as-a-bat, meet your sister from another mother, also blind-as-a-bat!!! Huge, thick, horn-rimmed glasses from about the age of 8. Teachers told my parents I had to walk right up to the chalk board (I sat in the front row) to copy what was on it. My parents were not happy, but they trudged me to the eye doctor... lo and behold, somewhere around 20-1200 (which decreased up to 20-2400 over the decades). So eventually the eye doc plopped a 2 lb anvil on my nose, and I squee'd with delight all the way home! "Daddy, I didn't know those big buildings actually had windows in them!"

Hehe- I'll post my eight-year-old glasses pics if you guys will (elsewhere, lol). :mrgreen: (and my two front teeth were too big for my face )

 

[Monserrat]

I was always adorable but I never knew it growing up so I felt like an ugly duckling until I reached my full awesomeness potential (I call it the FAP)
Now, some people are a bit put off by it and start calling me names like narcissistic but that's only because they have yet to reach their FAP.

I should write a book on it.


In all honestly though it was tough growing up but I got to where I need to be.

 

[sabriaortiz]

Don't ever try to criticize yourself in any way. I don't think it is proper to see yourself as ugly one, but if there is something you don't like about you then try to improve but never criticize yourself. Usually, when we do it lowers our self-esteem and that leads to another struggle.

 

[SmokeAndMirrors]

Growing up, I was an ugly child. At the age of three, I had to wear glasses, which at that time, were only brown color (only one style available), they were thick as hell because I'm blind as a damn bat... and they were glass. Since I was so young, I had to wear a band thing that went around my head to keep my glasses on my face.

I continued this journey of ugly when my mother lopped all my hair off at around 3rd grade. I looked like a boy and had some funky clothing (it was the 70s.. who didn't have funky clothes, right? lol)

Anyway... fast forward to junior high (they call middle school now) and I was tall, really thin and gawky. Still had big ole glasses... and had no luck with boys. I was teased a lot, boys would bark at me like I was a dog... ugh.

Then something happened when I hit high school. I lost the glasses (they weren't stylish like they are now) and that helped my self esteem quite a bit. My folks sprung for contact lenses, I had boobs and an actual definitive waist. I grew two inches and suddenly all the boys who had just a year prior to that, were barking at me, were now wanting to date me.

I didn't have problems dating from about 16 on, and in my late teens/early twenties had guys hitting on me.. but still... I couldn't shake the stigma of seeing myself as perpetually being the ugly duckling.

Over the years, my confidence in myself grew through other means - my success in my career and assertiveness and my other interests.

I just wonder how many other people out there are like me and no matter how many times they are complimented, still see themselves in a way that they kind of got "stuck" with at a young age?

I don't dwell on this, but there are times where this feeling rears its ugly head and it can be hard to shake.

I'm kind of the opposite.

I had an "ugly phase" as well. I was a cute kid and I'm a decently attractive adult, but I was all jacked up between the ages of 11 and 15 or so.

Honestly?

I wish I'd stayed that way.

I don't give a crap whether I'm considered to be attractive or not and I never really have. If stupid people want to tease me about not being attractive enough, then they're just revealing what shallow losers they are. Saves me time, because then I know not to waste breath on them. Great, as far as I'm concerned.

I didn't feel any worse about myself through my "ugly phase" than I did before or after, but I did notice it was easier to meet genuine people.

It's SO much easier to tell when people are genuinely interested in you when you're ugly.

If you're good-looking, it's a crap shoot. 50/50 chance they're just temporarily fascinated by staring at you or trying to screw you or whatever the case may be.

Plus, if you're female, you get harassed almost every time you go outside. I get tired of that crap. And it's not like I'm dressing to impress. Like I said, it's not a priority of mine. The last thing I'm ever going to spend money on is my looks simply for the sake of being considered attractive.

It would be nice to be moderately ugly again. But I figure I'll get there eventually. In the mean time, being somewhat tattooed/generally modified seems to weed out the worst ones, as does my withering responses to be bothered with unwelcome attention.

 

[Manc Skipper]

A tribute to all those homely people. A cover of a Chi-Lites song.

 

[TheGirlNextDoor]

A tribute to all those homely people. A cover of a Chi-Lites song.

I'll drink to that after I'm off work.

 

[tessaesque]

I'm mostly over the scars of being "ugly" as a child/teen. I hit a stride in my early 20s and figured out how to see the beauty over the ugly. I still have "fat days" and still occasionally get a moment of panic at the idea of ever having to woo a guy again if boyfriend and I don't work out...but most days I look in the mirror and I think, "Hey, I'm kind of cute. Rock on!".

There are always areas I'll be dissatisfied with. My nose from the side looks very Who-ish (think live action How The Grinch Stole Christmas). I have thunder thighs and they're starting to show signs of cellulite I never had when I was younger. My boobs are tiny and don't appeal to me w/o a bra on. But I like my eyes, I like my face front-on, I like my ass, I like my hourglass shape. So whenever one of the yucky areas gets me down I spend a little time thinking about what's awesome...and then I'm good.

 

[tessaesque]

I grew into an ugly ass adult, so its ok.

I disagree with this statement.

 

[Manc Skipper]

Small boobs are lovely, and more than a handful's a waste!

 

[spud_meister]

My boobs are tiny and don't appeal to me w/o a bra on.

I'll be the judge of that. Pics or GTFO. :mrgreen:

 

[TheGirlNextDoor]

I'm mostly over the scars of being "ugly" as a child/teen. I hit a stride in my early 20s and figured out how to see the beauty over the ugly. I still have "fat days" and still occasionally get a moment of panic at the idea of ever having to woo a guy again if boyfriend and I don't work out...but most days I look in the mirror and I think, "Hey, I'm kind of cute. Rock on!".

There are always areas I'll be dissatisfied with. My nose from the side looks very Who-ish (think live action How The Grinch Stole Christmas). I have thunder thighs and they're starting to show signs of cellulite I never had when I was younger. My boobs are tiny and don't appeal to me w/o a bra on. But I like my eyes, I like my face front-on, I like my ass, I like my hourglass shape. So whenever one of the yucky areas gets me down I spend a little time thinking about what's awesome...and then I'm good.

I'd rather have smaller, myself. Count yourself lucky.

 

[NoC_T]

I never had issues about my looks. I was always totally average. The everyman, you might say.

It's impossible for me to blend into a crowd, and I'm constantly stared at everywhere I go, but that's mostly a personality thing. It drives me ****ing mad, but what can you do?