Have you "evolved" on same sex marriage?[W:33]

[CriticalThought]

I was reading today about the lawyer who defended Prop 8 planning his daughter's same sex wedding. It has struck me that even on this forum there have been some people who have moved on this issue. Some were opposed to any legal recognition and now consider civil unions to be a fair option. Others recognize a civil marriage as different from a religious marriage and now can accept it under those terms.

So have you evolved on this issue? If so, what led you to change your mind? If not, then what do you think of those who have moved on this issue?

 

[SmokeAndMirrors]

Re: Have you "evolved" on same sex marriage?

I was reading today about the lawyer who defended Prop 8 planning his daughter's same sex wedding. It has struck me that even on this forum there have been some people who have moved on this issue. Some were opposed to any legal recognition and now consider civil unions to be a fair option. Others recognize a civil marriage as different from a religious marriage and now can accept it under those terms.

So have you evolved on this issue? If so, what led you to change your mind? If not, then what do you think of those who have moved on this issue?

Nope. I have never seen any reason why same sex couples should be denied equality under the law.

Of those who have gone from anti to pro publicly, I tip my hat. Takes a lot to admit you're wrong to begin with, and even more so when the reason they were anti probably has something to do with personal beliefs (which may have remained the same even as their policy opinion changed). Setting aside your lifestyle and focusing on what's best or what's entitled to your fellow countryfolk shows a real commitment to the ideals of America to me.

 

[AGENT J]

Re: Have you "evolved" on same sex marriage?

I was reading today about the lawyer who defended Prop 8 planning his daughter's same sex wedding. It has struck me that even on this forum there have been some people who have moved on this issue. Some were opposed to any legal recognition and now consider civil unions to be a fair option. Others recognize a civil marriage as different from a religious marriage and now can accept it under those terms.

So have you evolved on this issue? If so, what led you to change your mind? If not, then what do you think of those who have moved on this issue?

me? no
Ive always been pro-equal rights

but my brother has and i can speak for him.

He was VERY homophobic and anti-gay for a while and i never was. We used to bumpb heads on this issue quite a bit especially since i had some friends that were gay and then even eventually one of my closest friends, Kimmi was gay.

As he got older and educated himself to facts though he evolved. He still has some homophobia, is at times is visually uncomfortable but has made lots of progress. After interacting with lesbians first because he had less fear of them he realized how complete stupid and mentally retarded some of his thoughts and assumptions were. Like you can always tell who is gay and gay people are just sexual deviants etc etc All the crap people convince themselves of.

He now supports equal rights 100% now and gets made at himself for his own issues. He is getting better and its a great thing.

 

[joG]

Re: Have you "evolved" on same sex marriage?

I was reading today about the lawyer who defended Prop 8 planning his daughter's same sex wedding. It has struck me that even on this forum there have been some people who have moved on this issue. Some were opposed to any legal recognition and now consider civil unions to be a fair option. Others recognize a civil marriage as different from a religious marriage and now can accept it under those terms.

So have you evolved on this issue? If so, what led you to change your mind? If not, then what do you think of those who have moved on this issue?

Perhaps my opinions on the issues relating to homosexuality have "evolved" over the years. Having had a great uncle who moved in with his boyfriend in the 1920s and lived with him till he died, having had a homosexual friend of my father's from Harvard to babysit my brother and myself and having had bisexual close friends at school and university I have been very easy with same sex relationships. I never understood the upset that others had with the thing.

Over the past years, however, a note of displeasure, an evolution if you like, has crept into my feelings on the matter. I dislike exhibitionism and do not think that free sex need be supported by the state from other people's taxes. So I am still fine with the guy banging guys and the girls banging girls or whatever. But I find the liberation movement has gone too far and is, causing backlash.

 

[joG]

Re: Have you "evolved" on same sex marriage?

Nope. I have never seen any reason why same sex couples should be denied equality under the law.
....

That is an interesting statement. equality can only exit, where things are equal. You see no difference between girls and boys? Don#t be silly.

 

[Fiddytree]

Re: Have you "evolved" on same sex marriage?

Personally no. I was surprised, somewhat pleasantly, that it has quickened over the past 3 years. I was fine with the love and "none of my business" argument, but I've always thought to get another segment of the population, they needed to be convinced that two parent households are desirable and encouraging marriage likewise encourages relationship stability.

The challengers to the status-quo folks can have their day, but I think allowing people to live "vanilla" lifestyles (modified, of course) is both good for them and good for us. Conservatism just needed to evolve to accept that it can do small things to help traditional goals, is all.

 

[tecoyah]

Re: Have you "evolved" on same sex marriage?

I was reading today about the lawyer who defended Prop 8 planning his daughter's same sex wedding. It has struck me that even on this forum there have been some people who have moved on this issue. Some were opposed to any legal recognition and now consider civil unions to be a fair option. Others recognize a civil marriage as different from a religious marriage and now can accept it under those terms.

So have you evolved on this issue? If so, what led you to change your mind? If not, then what do you think of those who have moved on this issue?

In my youth, I was "Hit On" by a gay man and developed an irrational fear and dislike for everything Homo. As I grew up mentally I came to accept the choices of others and realized this one man did not represent what I thought he did....very similar to my evolution on the Abortion issue.

Basically, I went from blanket opposition to both to Opposition to both for myself, but dropping the Ego that told me my opinion was right for anyone else.

 

[WCH]

Re: Have you "evolved" on same sex marriage?

Perhaps my opinions on the issues relating to homosexuality have "evolved" over the years. Having had a great uncle who moved in with his boyfriend in the 1920s and lived with him till he died, having had a homosexual friend of my father's from Harvard to babysit my brother and myself and having had bisexual close friends at school and university I have been very easy with same sex relationships. I never understood the upset that others had with the thing.

Over the past years, however, a note of displeasure, an evolution if you like, has crept into my feelings on the matter. I dislike exhibitionism and do not think that free sex need be supported by the state from other people's taxes. So I am still fine with the guy banging guys and the girls banging girls or whatever. But I find the liberation movement has gone too far and is, causing backlash.

My faith will not allow me to accept or support homosexuality or SSM in any form.

That being said, I will continue to pray for guidance and love them as any other sister or brother.

 

[Gipper]

Re: Have you "evolved" on same sex marriage?

I've actually reversed my opinion slightly on it. For a long time, I was pretty neutral and thought "if it happens, cool - no biggie".

Then I get exposed to vocal gay members here.

My mood then sours on the subject.

 

[GailT]

Re: Have you "evolved" on same sex marriage?

I've actually reversed my opinion slightly on it. For a long time, I was pretty neutral and thought "if it happens, cool - no biggie". Then I get exposed to vocal gay members here. My mood then sours on the subject.

So you were perfectly fine with gay people, then you had a negative interaction with someone on a discussion board and decided maybe its okay to discriminate agaisnt all gay people? Something doesn't quite jibe there. There are many people here I strongly disagree with, but it never occured to me that maybe it's okay to deprive them of fundamental human rights.

 

[MaggieD]

Re: Have you "evolved" on same sex marriage?

I was reading today about the lawyer who defended Prop 8 planning his daughter's same sex wedding. It has struck me that even on this forum there have been some people who have moved on this issue. Some were opposed to any legal recognition and now consider civil unions to be a fair option. Others recognize a civil marriage as different from a religious marriage and now can accept it under those terms.

So have you evolved on this issue? If so, what led you to change your mind? If not, then what do you think of those who have moved on this issue?

Had you asked me 20 years ago what I thought of same-sex marriage, I would have said, "No way." Our culture has shifted in those 20 years, and that's a good thing. So, yes, I've "evolved."

 

[MaggieD]

Re: Have you "evolved" on same sex marriage?

So you were perfectly fine with gay people, then you had a negative interaction with someone on a discussion board and decided maybe its okay to discriminate agaisnt all gay people? Something doesn't quite jibe there. There are many people here I strongly disagree with, but it never occured to me that maybe it's okay to deprive them of fundamental human rights.

Same-sex marriage is not a fundamental human right.

 

[Luke Skywalker]

Re: Have you "evolved" on same sex marriage?

I no longer subscribe to Christianity's mantra that homosexuality is an abomination. Mind you, I'm more "Christian" than ever - that simply means being Christ-like (or rather, TRYING to be) and loving others as I love myself. Therefore, I now believe gays should have the right to get married and be left in peace.

You may call it evolving or whatever - fact is, I think I've simply attained a higher degree of consciousness....

 

[Gipper]

Re: Have you "evolved" on same sex marriage?

So you were perfectly fine with gay people, then you had a negative interaction with someone on a discussion board and decided maybe its okay to discriminate agaisnt all gay people? Something doesn't quite jibe there. There are many people here I strongly disagree with, but it never occured to me that maybe it's okay to deprive them of fundamental human rights.

It is not a "fundamental human right". In addition, I wasn't aware of how gay people are when it's all stripped to bare bones. When I've seen some gay people in real life, I've seen them as everyone else - people with myriad thoughts, aspirations, viewpoints, goals, fears, etc. On here, the majority of openly gay people only have one goal and one opinion. They're not complete people, and I suggest they get professional help before marriage is ever a possibility.

Hell, I equate a few of them with heterophobia.

 

[GailT]

Re: Have you "evolved" on same sex marriage?

Over the past years, however, a note of displeasure, an evolution if you like, has crept into my feelings on the matter. I dislike exhibitionism and do not think that free sex need be supported by the state from other people's taxes. So I am still fine with the guy banging guys and the girls banging girls or whatever. But I find the liberation movement has gone too far and is, causing backlash.

Sounds like you are saying that it was okay as long as it was discreet and private or perhaps kept in the closet? If your problem is with "exhibitionism" and "free sex", then that applies equally to gay and stright people, and especially to the sexual revolution of the 70s. And do you think that state should not support marriage in general? Or is it only same-sex marriage that should not be supported by the state?

I'm surprised at the commenters who used to be ok with gay equality but are souring on the idea now, apparently because gay people are now more visible and speaking out for their rights.

 

[paddymcdougall]

Re: Have you "evolved" on same sex marriage?

I was reading today about the lawyer who defended Prop 8 planning his daughter's same sex wedding. It has struck me that even on this forum there have been some people who have moved on this issue. Some were opposed to any legal recognition and now consider civil unions to be a fair option. Others recognize a civil marriage as different from a religious marriage and now can accept it under those terms.

So have you evolved on this issue? If so, what led you to change your mind? If not, then what do you think of those who have moved on this issue?

I've been pro-same sex marriage since I first started thinking about it -mid-80s, after college. Wrote my first letter to the editor re the issue around then.

It didn't seem fair to me that my b/f and I could get so many financial benefits just by marrying and same sex couples couldn't. I wanted to cover him with my medical benefits; marriage did that. But a long-term same sex couple - when one of them died, the other had to sell the house because the value of it (and thus the taxes) got re-assessed at current market rate, and he couldn't afford the taxes. If they had been married, wouldn't have happened.

Anyway, like I said - from the time I first thought about it, it seemed logical to allow it.

I'm very surprised to see it happening in my lifetime though! How wonderful!

 

[paddymcdougall]

Re: Have you "evolved" on same sex marriage?

Sounds like you are saying that it was okay as long as it was discreet and private or perhaps kept in the closet? If your problem is with "exhibitionism" and "free sex", then that applies equally to gay and stright people, and especially to the sexual revolution of the 70s. And do you think that state should not support marriage in general? Or is it only same-sex marriage that should not be supported by the state?

I'm surprised at the commenters who used to be ok with gay equality but are souring on the idea now, apparently because gay people are now more visible and speaking out for their rights.

And yet they have no problem with heterosexual people flaunting their sexuality in public; by the celebration of heterosexuality in movies, billboards, commercials; by tax breaks given to married (used to be only opposite sex) people with kids.

Or how about Christians flaunting their religion in public? My company has a "spring holiday" that always falls on Good Friday. Coincidence? Not. All those Christmas trees, all those easter baskets! Why don't they just stay quiet and keep it in the home?

You know, when women started fighting for equal rights, they got the same kind of crap -"too strident", "they should work in the background", "there are more important issues", "why are they pushing so hard", etc etc.

So if someone is upset because LGBTs are more visible now - oh well. Get over it. (in my opinion of course)

 

[GailT]

Re: Have you "evolved" on same sex marriage?

It is not a "fundamental human right". In addition, I wasn't aware of how gay people are when it's all stripped to bare bones. When I've seen some gay people in real life, I've seen them as everyone else - people with myriad thoughts, aspirations, viewpoints, goals, fears, etc. On here, the majority of openly gay people only have one goal and one opinion. They're not complete people, and I suggest they get professional help before marriage is ever a possibility.

So marriage is only a fundamental human right if you are heterosexual? Or does no one have the right to marry? In any case, your bias is quite apparent. You could have equally made the same claim that anti-gay rights folks have one goal and one opinion, are not complete people, and need professional help. Of course this is not true in either case.

 

[Gipper]

Re: Have you "evolved" on same sex marriage?

So marriage is only a fundamental human right if you are heterosexual? Or does no one have the right to marry? In any case, your bias is quite apparent. You could have equally made the same claim that anti-gay rights folks have one goal and one opinion, are not complete people, and need professional help. Of course this is not true in either case.

Marriage is not a fundamental human right. I never said "gay" marriage wasn't. You're just seeing what you want to see.

Also, I'm plenty critical of thumpers. All extremism is bad.

 

[a351]

Re: Have you "evolved" on same sex marriage?

Yes, I have. I was raised in an extremely religious household and I developed a prejudice not only against the notion of same sex marriage but gay people themselves as a result. My real life experience with individuals who happened to be gay did more to undo these beliefs than any political campaign to speak of. The remainder of my family, while still profoundly religious, has also evolved in their views on the LGBT community in general, albeit not on the particular issue of SSM.

 

[Gardener]

Re: Have you "evolved" on same sex marriage?

I was reading today about the lawyer who defended Prop 8 planning his daughter's same sex wedding. It has struck me that even on this forum there have been some people who have moved on this issue. Some were opposed to any legal recognition and now consider civil unions to be a fair option. Others recognize a civil marriage as different from a religious marriage and now can accept it under those terms.

So have you evolved on this issue? If so, what led you to change your mind? If not, then what do you think of those who have moved on this issue?

My beliefs, or rather, they way I approach the world has remained quite consistant over the years. I reject stupid social mores when they are not based upon any sort of actual mortality and consist of nothing more than "we do it just because". Only unintelligent people adhere to social convention not based upon reason. In the case of homosexuality, since the bias against it is based upon something completely arbitrary and not anything more moral than the the convention of not wearing one's white pumps after labor day, I have always rejected the bias as the product of superstition rather than reason.

 

[chromium]

Re: Have you "evolved" on same sex marriage?

I've actually reversed my opinion slightly on it. For a long time, I was pretty neutral and thought "if it happens, cool - no biggie".

Then I get exposed to vocal gay members here.

My mood then sours on the subject.

< doesn't want support from weak-kneed "neutrals" turned thumpers like this anyway

 

[chromium]

Re: Have you "evolved" on same sex marriage?

So you were perfectly fine with gay people, then you had a negative interaction with someone on a discussion board and decided maybe its okay to discriminate agaisnt all gay people? Something doesn't quite jibe there. There are many people here I strongly disagree with, but it never occured to me that maybe it's okay to deprive them of fundamental human rights.

It makes perfect sense to me, in that everything must cater to him

 

[Deuce]

Re: Have you "evolved" on same sex marriage?

Same-sex marriage is not a fundamental human right.

Supreme Court of the United States says marriage is a basic civil right. Supreme Court of the United States also says making a distinction on the basis of gender requires that the measure be "substantially related to an important state interest."

 

[Gipper]

Re: Have you "evolved" on same sex marriage?

It makes perfect sense to me, in that everything must cater to him

Do you ever get tired of being wrong?

Heterophobia...