I disagree. Totalitarianism is defined as "of or pertaining to a centralized government that does not tolerate parties of differing opinion and that exercises dictatorial control over many aspects of life." I dont see any conflict with that definition and North Korea. No, not every second of one's day is controlled and the state doesnt control your thoughts, but for all practical purposes virtually everything around you is controlled by the state and last I remember, North Korea doesn't have elections. The state owns or controls all media, including television and news media. Internet is tightly regulated and what is available is either routed through China or "government approved" versions of more mainstream sites. Last count I heard was upwards of six large prison camps with near 300,000 prisoners and dozens of "re-education" camps scattered around the country.
Oh yeah, a few more things.
First, you are taking an abstract term and attempting to apply that abstraction to reality. "The state" in reality is a collection of human beings organized in a certain manner. In reality, when one says that "the state" controls something, what this means is that there is
juridical control of "the state" over this or that thing. What this means
in practice, though, is that as a collection of humans with similar or conflicting interests, there are going to be different layers, different sections and different groupings within the state that are going to try to influence state control to this or that aim. "The state" therefore is something that is subject to the control of the bureaucrats, and therefore to their conflicts and desires. Therefore, your explanation falls flat on its face right at the start as it incorrectly posits an abstraction as a material fact.
Second, you mention elections. Elections are not representative of the level of political power for the average citizen in a given country. Elections are, as a matter of fact, tools used to promote an appearance of legitimacy, or freedom, or power of the average citizen. In reality this is not the case at all. The more important the election, the more it is controlled by various mechanisms that have been put in place, be they social, political or economic. This is just as true in the US as it is in North Korea. Therefore, asserting that because the DPRK doesn't have elections (which isn't true BTW, they're just probably rigged) that it is somehow "less free" or that North Korean citizens have "less power" in their government is simply incorrect.
Third, I don't know if you knew this but all TV news media in the United States and the vast majority of mainstream news sources in general are controlled by now 6 (after the Comcast-NBC merger) media conglomerates who effectively act as the state media for the US.
Fourth, the US as of 2006 had 3.2% of its population incarcerated, on probation or on parole, compared to the 300,000 figure you gave (without source) which is 1.2% of the North Korean population.
Yeah yeah I'll get bashed as an America hater for this by the conservative loonies but my point is that these things happen in "free" societies just as they do in "totalitarian" ones, they just exist in different forms.