WI Crippler
DP Veteran
- Joined
- Oct 10, 2006
- Messages
- 15,427
- Reaction score
- 9,577
- Gender
- Male
- Political Leaning
- Centrist
Yeah. I've got two. No more for me. I don't even care that my wife wants another one. I'm done with it.
You left off the "I have kids but don't want kids" option. :2razz:
I want two, then one of us is getting fixed.
I'd have the first one now (or at least try to get started on it) but the boy isn't ready just yet.
I do wonder if the attitude towards this changes as kids get older. Right now I am dealing with a 4 y/o and a 16 month old. People who have a better idea of what is yet to come may have a greater appreciation of the entire process. Right now I am tired. The constant clinginess and neediness of small children just wears on you. I'm tired of dressing and undressing, doing baths, changing diapers, tying shoes, etc.... it's all the little ****. it just adds up.
I do want kids someday.
Yup. You wouldn't believe some of the stuff people have said to me over me being childfree, and how blatantly we get discriminated against in reproductive care.
A lot of people care because they feel like their choices need to be validated by everyone else making the same choice. I notice that the people who act like that usually put no thought into their choice to have kids, and aren't as happy with the reality of it as they hoped they'd be. Happy parents tend not to care what someone else does. Basically, misery loves company.
Most of the child free women I know, have to fight with their doctors to get a tubal ligation or something similar. Generally the doctors do say no, and make them wait.
There has been a trend going back to the 60s & 70s for couples to have fewer and fewer children, and I think in part it has to do with economics.
The recent 2% drop may be due to the recession, but I think people want to be able to provide a better life for children than they had.
There is also some question about a womans education affecting the number of children, that postulates are more educated women less likely to have a lot of children or does having more children cause a woman to have less education?
It's back to a chicken & egg type question.
I come from a very large family with 4 brothers and 1 sister, and I have three children.
My children have had 1, 2, and 3 children, all are very educated. Two with Bachelors degrees one with a PHD and the one with the PHD is the one with 3 kids.
I know this, Muslims are having a lot more kids than the rest of the Worlds Population, and here illegals are having more than any other group.
Most of the child free women I know, have to fight with their doctors to get a tubal ligation or something similar. Generally the doctors do say no, and make them wait.
Which is ridiculous. What business do they have telling a woman that she cannot get a medical procedure that she wants. I know someone who had her third child and wanted a tubal. The idiot doctor talked her out of it because she's still in her twenties-getting every welfare benefit there is. Truly stupid.
Yeah, I have seen that too. In my state, the welfare medical coverage doesn't cover sterilization surgery for those women and some of them do want it. It's truly stupid. A lot of welfare moms aren't even known for their excellent parenting skills, maybe it's related to the fact they really aren't planning nor wanting those kids. They are just more money. They should probably just offer them a bonus check to get sterilized.
I've known women who had to go another state, go through a psych eval, be forced to have their partner consent to it and if they're single refuse to do it, and on and on and on. Most childfree women I know who have gotten it done under the age of 35 had to go through dozens of doctors. It's so hard to do that there are even online listings of CF-friendly doctors, because they were wasting so much time and money getting turned away.
For guys, in a lot of places it's as simple as showing up.
It's completely ridiculous, and there's no legal ground for it. It's legal to do everywhere in the union at 18 or 21, and yet doctors turn tons of women away if they feel they haven't bred enough. Even women with kids are often turned away if the doctors feels they "aren't old enough," or "don't have enough kids."
What's funny is that I'm sure if I got pregnant today, my OB wouldn't say to me "You know, having kids is a big decision, you should really consider abortion." Apparently I'm mature enough to decide to become a parent, with all the time and money and the life-long commitment that entails, but not mature enough to decide not to have children.
I know a girl with some health problems, she was one of those young women who always tried to get her tubes tied but was turned down. She became pregnant, didn't know it, and kept talking her birth control on top of all her other medicine. The ultra sound showed a severely deformed embryo, she said it looked like it had two heads, and she ended up aborting.
Well, after that, she tried to get her tubes tied again, but couldn't find a doctor willing to do it. This was in the state of Texas too, which is a very conservative, typically anti abortion state. She had an abortion, she wants her tubes tied, but she can't find a doctor in that state willing to do it... If she gets pregnant again, she's the type that will have another abortion and truth be told, she isn't the type of person who should have kids anyway.
Those doctors should consider if a woman wanting to be sterilized would or wouldn't be a good parent! I really don't think one's parenting skills is a factor they consider, it's marriage status, age, and how many children you have.
I do wonder if the attitude towards this changes as kids get older. Right now I am dealing with a 4 y/o and a 16 month old. People who have a better idea of what is yet to come may have a greater appreciation of the entire process. Right now I am tired. The constant clinginess and neediness of small children just wears on you. I'm tired of dressing and undressing, doing baths, changing diapers, tying shoes, etc.... it's all the little ****. it just adds up.
I would like to produce children. Unfortunately I suffered from the mumps as a child and it sterilized me. However, I have raised my wife's son as my own because his father abandoned him while my wife was still pregnant with him. As far as my step-son is concerned, I'm his Dad.
I do wonder if the attitude towards this changes as kids get older. Right now I am dealing with a 4 y/o and a 16 month old. People who have a better idea of what is yet to come may have a greater appreciation of the entire process. Right now I am tired. The constant clinginess and neediness of small children just wears on you. I'm tired of dressing and undressing, doing baths, changing diapers, tying shoes, etc.... it's all the little ****. it just adds up.
Yeah. I've got two. No more for me. I don't even care that my wife wants another one. I'm done with it.
I want the two I have. One is 29 and the other will be 11 in a couple of weeks.
I don't expect I will have the opportunity for any more, but would relish the opportunity. My older son has turned into my best friend and has been an incredible source of much needed support the last month and a half, and the younger is such a cool kid, I can't imagine life without him.
I'm being told that I want a third, whether it be through adoption or natural means. :lol:
I'm being told that I want a third, whether it be through adoption or natural means. :lol:
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