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At WalMart

Red Crow

Holy Crap!
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A very loud, unattractive, mean-acting woman walked into Wal-Mart with her two kids, yelling obscenities at them all the way through the entrance.


The Wal-Mart Greeter said pleasantly, 'Good morning, and welcome to Wal-Mart. Nice children you have there. Are they twins?'


The woman stopped yelling long enough to say, 'Hell no they ain't! The oldest one's 9 and the other one's 7. Why the hell would you think they're twins? Are you blind, or just stupid?'


'I'm neither blind nor stupid, Ma'am, replied the greeter. 'I just couldn't believe someone would sleep with you twice. Have a good day and thank you for shopping at Wal-Mart.'
 

Deuce

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We used to play "find the hot chick in the wal-mart parking lot." Nobody wins.

Nobody.
 

Lord Tammerlain

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Finally a funny joke
 

Red Crow

Holy Crap!
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Does this make us a monkey's uncle????
'Once upon a time, in a village, a man appeared and announced to the villagers that he would buy monkeys for $10 each.

The villagers, seeing that there were many monkeys around, went out to the forest and started catching them.

The man bought thousands at $10 and, as supply started to diminish, the villagers stopped their effort. He further announced that he would now buy at $20 for a monkey. This renewed the efforts of the villagers and they started catching monkeys again.

Soon the supply diminished even further and people started going back to their farms. The offer increased to $25 each, and the supply of monkeys became so small that it was an effort to even find a monkey, let alone catch it!

The man now announced that he would buy monkeys at $50! However, since he had to go to the city on some business, his assistant would now buy on behalf of him.

In the absence of the man, the assistant told the villagers. 'Look at all these monkeys in the big cage that the man has collected. I will sell them to you at $35, and when the man returns from the city, you can sell them to him for $50 each.'

The villagers rounded up all their savings and bought all the monkeys.

They never saw the man nor his assistant again, only monkeys everywhere!
Now you have a better understanding of how the stock market works.'
 

Deuce

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It's so ****ing true...
 
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