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All things being equal which is the most ideal way for a child to be raised

All things being equal which is the most ideal situation to raise a child?

  • A mother and Father

    Votes: 46 79.3%

  • A gay couple

    Votes: 11 19.0%

  • A single parent

    Votes: 1 1.7%
  • Total voters
    58
Napoleon's Nightingale said:
I know many gay couples which do this. A member of the male couple donates sperm to artificially inseminate a member of the female couple and they share custody of the child. Of course, it doesn't always work out that way but, in my experiance, it does more often than not.
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that is anectdotal evidence, not backed up by anything but the few gays you know
 
Napoleon's Nightingale said:
There are a few details you are leaving out. When a gay couple has children it's ussually with another gay couple and they share custody. I'm still waiting for one of you to say what a woman can provide that a man cannot and vise versa.
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I don't know about any of that accept that a gay couple can not procreate but we are getting off topic now............
 
Navy Pride said:
I don't know about any of that accept that a gay couple can not procreate but we are getting off topic now............
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hes talking about a gay couple and a lesbian couple procreating and than Sharing the spawn in a 4 way arrangement. which i am sure happens, but not to the extent put forth by him
 
DeeJayH said:
hes talking about a gay couple and a lesbian couple procreating and than Sharing the spawn in a 4 way arrangement. which i am sure happens, but not to the extent put forth by him
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And by far not the ideal situation to raise a child..............
 
DeeJayH said:
hes talking about a gay couple and a lesbian couple procreating and than Sharing the spawn in a 4 way arrangement. which i am sure happens, but not to the extent put forth by him
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I thought every child was a precious little bundle of joy. Now it's "spawn?"
 
CoffeeSaint said:
I thought every child was a precious little bundle of joy. Now it's "spawn?"
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my spawn was a precious lil bundle of joy, now he is a big one
 
Napoleon's Nightingale said:
There are a few details you are leaving out. When a gay couple has children it's ussually with another gay couple and they share custody. I'm still waiting for one of you to say what a woman can provide that a man cannot and vise versa.
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Men can do what women do, but usually either won't, or don't.

My Mom used to massage the back of my neck when I was upset. Can a man do this? You betcha. Would he? Not too likely.

My Mom walked me to school till I was in the 6th grade. Could a man do this? You betcha. Would a man do this. Not likely.

Women are more compassionate and nurturing, and this is a known fact. That's why they are mother's, because infants and children need a lot of TLC and women are better at it.

Men can nurture, but I would bet that they aren't as natural at it as women are.

It's true you can probably survive without some of the nurturing, and some can turn into possessiveness, but that's where the man comes in to balance the nurturing. He will keep it on track.
 
Marilyn Monroe said:
Men can do what women do, but usually either won't, or don't.

My Mom used to massage the back of my neck when I was upset. Can a man do this? You betcha. Would he? Not too likely.

My Mom walked me to school till I was in the 6th grade. Could a man do this? You betcha. Would a man do this. Not likely.

Women are more compassionate and nurturing, and this is a known fact. That's why they are mother's, because infants and children need a lot of TLC and women are better at it.

Men can nurture, but I would bet that they aren't as natural at it as women are.

It's true you can probably survive without some of the nurturing, and some can turn into possessiveness, but that's where the man comes in to balance the nurturing. He will keep it on track.
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This is totally inconsistent with reality. I know many men, straight fathers, who would argue this old-fashioned stereotype into the dirt. Not only are there many men who are nurturing, there are many women who are not. Nurturing comes from love and selflessness - the compulsion to fill the needs of a loved one - it has nothing to do with what genitalia you have. Just because women have traditionally filled that role does not mean that men are incapable of it. Traditionally society has expected them not to be.
 
mixedmedia said:
This is totally inconsistent with reality. I know many men, straight fathers, who would argue this old-fashioned stereotype into the dirt. Not only are there many men who are nurturing, there are many women who are not. Nurturing comes from love and selflessness - the compulsion to fill the needs of a loved one - it has nothing to do with what genitalia you have. Just because women have traditionally filled that role does not mean that men are incapable of it. Traditionally society has expected them not to be.
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Sure there are males that can fulfill the female role and vice versa but a lot of men or women can not and we are talking about the ideal situation in raising a child and no matter how much you deny it in your heart of hearts you know that is with a mother and a father..........
 
mixedmedia said:
This is totally inconsistent with reality. I know many men, straight fathers, who would argue this old-fashioned stereotype into the dirt. Not only are there many men who are nurturing, there are many women who are not. Nurturing comes from love and selflessness - the compulsion to fill the needs of a loved one - it has nothing to do with what genitalia you have. Just because women have traditionally filled that role does not mean that men are incapable of it. Traditionally society has expected them not to be.
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Hear Hear! Well said! I agree completely. I have most definitely been a nurturing father for both of my children as has my wife...there are also times when I'm not nurturing nor is she....

There's no such thing as ideal...so the whole premise here is skewed and let's be honest, for once NP, this thread was created so that NP can stick his tongue out and say "told you so" while at the same time bash Gays...

Isn't the worst sort of prejudiced the devious kind, the type where someone has a hidden agenda? That's what this thread is all about IMHO...

Good parents are of all types and so are bad parents...pointless
 
26 X World Champs said:
Hear Hear! Well said! I agree completely. I have most definitely been a nurturing father for both of my children as has my wife...there are also times when I'm not nurturing nor is she....

There's no such thing as ideal...so the whole premise here is skewed and let's be honest, for once NP, this thread was created so that NP can stick his tongue out and say "told you so" while at the same time bash Gays...
Isn't the worst sort of prejudiced the devious kind, the type where someone has a hidden agenda? That's what this thread is all about IMHO...

Good parents are of all types and so are bad parents...pointless
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It always go back to the same thing with you when you lose a debate.........That is the sad thing..........

If you even took the time to read the thread instead of just attacking me you would know that I have said that I am sure there are gay couples out there who make good parents but unlike you I am thinking in the best interest of the child and the best possible scenario for raising a child is with a mother and a father and to say that you can provide everything a mother can is totally ridiculous.........
 
Navy Pride said:
Sure there are males that can fulfill the female role and vice versa but a lot of men or women can not and we are talking about the ideal situation in raising a child and no matter how much you deny it in your heart of hearts you know that is with a mother and a father..........
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With all due respect, NP, don't tell me what is in my heart. I am well acquainted with my own, as I am sure you are with yours. Shall I reiterate?:

I believe the most ideal scenario is for a child to be raised by their biological parents in a secure, loving, nurturing, supportive environment. When that doesn't work out, as so often it doesn't, it matters not one iota to me whether that child goes to a secure, loving, nurturing, supportive environment headed by hetero parents or same sex parents.
 
mixedmedia said:
This is totally inconsistent with reality. I know many men, straight fathers, who would argue this old-fashioned stereotype into the dirt. Not only are there many men who are nurturing, there are many women who are not. Nurturing comes from love and selflessness - the compulsion to fill the needs of a loved one - it has nothing to do with what genitalia you have. Just because women have traditionally filled that role does not mean that men are incapable of it. Traditionally society has expected them not to be.
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I don't believe she said they were "incapable", actually, she said the exact opposite, that they can, but usually don't. I happen to agree with this, many men feel that this is something that only women should do, others are just plain uncomfortable, and still others were just never taught, or had the luxury of this themselves. I was fortunate enough to be raised in this way, and it's not at all difficult for me, but it is for many of my friends, and even for my older relatives. This is something that will only change if we make it change, if we decide to break the pattern our family has displayed
 
Deegan said:
I don't believe she said they were "incapable", actually, she said the exact opposite, that they can, but usually don't. I happen to agree with this, many men feel that this is something that only women should do, others are just plain uncomfortable, and still others were just never taught, or had the luxury of this themselves. I was fortunate enough to be raised in this way, and it's not at all difficult for me, but it is for many of my friends, and even for my older relatives. This is something that will only change if we make it change, if we decide to break the pattern our family has displayed
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And this is what I referred to in the last part of my post:

me said:
Just because women have traditionally filled that role does not mean that men are incapable of it. Traditionally society has expected them not to be.
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Because some men are not willing, comfortable or able to indulge this capacity, does not make for a valid argument against same sex parenting.

sorry, had to edit for clarity
 
mixedmedia said:
With all due respect, NP, don't tell me what is in my heart. I am well acquainted with my own, as I am sure you are with yours. Shall I reiterate?:

I believe the most ideal scenario is for a child to be raised by their biological parents in a secure, loving, nurturing, supportive environment. When that doesn't work out, as so often it doesn't, it matters not one iota to me whether that child goes to a secure, loving, nurturing, supportive environment headed by hetero parents or same sex parents.
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Lets just say that it works out most of the time otherwise I think we pretty much agree.......
 
mixedmedia said:
This is totally inconsistent with reality. I know many men, straight fathers, who would argue this old-fashioned stereotype into the dirt. Not only are there many men who are nurturing, there are many women who are not. Nurturing comes from love and selflessness - the compulsion to fill the needs of a loved one - it has nothing to do with what genitalia you have. Just because women have traditionally filled that role does not mean that men are incapable of it. Traditionally society has expected them not to be.
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I don't think it is traditionally, it's more hormonal. You can't change those pesky hormones.

Men can nurture, but they aren't as good at it.

Men can argue anything into the dirt, that doesn't mean it's true.
 
Navy Pride said:
I have been having a debate with several liberals and gays about which is the best way for a child to be raised.......I am not saying that gays or a single parent can not be raised by gays or a single parent successfully but i am saying all things being equal the best chance for a child to succeed in life is being raised by a mother and father......

What do you thinK?

The word in the question should be which.....I wonder if a mod can change they spelling..........thanks
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the research i've done has all shown gay parents to be equal to straight parents, both of which are better than single parents. these are of course all averages. when making adoption decisions and what not, families need to be looked at on an individual basis.
 
Marilyn Monroe said:
Men can nurture, but they aren't as good at it.
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I don't believe that at all. Men can nurture and they have just as much a shot at being good at it as a woman does. I do think the "nuturing" men provide is in general different than the "nuturing" women generally provide. But different in no way means better or worse. I think the different nurturing children get from their mom and dad are important for their healthy development.
 
mixedmedia said:
With all due respect, NP, don't tell me what is in my heart. I am well acquainted with my own, as I am sure you are with yours. Shall I reiterate?:

I believe the most ideal scenario is for a child to be raised by their biological parents in a secure, loving, nurturing, supportive environment. When that doesn't work out, as so often it doesn't, it matters not one iota to me whether that child goes to a secure, loving, nurturing, supportive environment headed by hetero parents or same sex parents.
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WELL DONE! EXCELLENT post! You said it exactly the way I would write it....
 
Navy Pride said:
I personally think the 50% divorce rate is skewed in that the divorce rate for young people getting married before they are ready is probably 75%.........If you took a poll of mature adults getting married say after the age of 25 I think you would find the divorce rate much lower........

I don't think anyone has said that gay people cannot raise children successfully or that these children become gay.......at least I haven't.......

Like you said the ideal way though is with a father and a mother.......
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Navy, you might be correct. Yet I worked as a family counselor for years and never saw statistic that would have changed my mind about the divorce rate. Yet there might be newer statistics I have not seen.
 
dragonslayer said:
Navy, you might be correct. Yet I worked as a family counselor for years and never saw statistic that would have changed my mind about the divorce rate. Yet there might be newer statistics I have not seen.
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Although I don't have any figures to prove it it just makes sense that a lot of young people get married because they think they are in love or for a physical attraction...........Well when the physical attraction wears off there is nothing left so they divorce......Young people het married on Friday and its anulled on Sunday.........Britney Spears come to mind.........
 
talloulou said:
I don't believe that at all. Men can nurture and they have just as much a shot at being good at it as a woman does. I do think the "nuturing" men provide is in general different than the "nuturing" women generally provide. But different in no way means better or worse. I think the different nurturing children get from their mom and dad are important for their healthy development.
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I don't agree with your theory but lets leave it go, there's no point in saying anything else.
 
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