The Giant Noodle
DP Veteran
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- Mar 22, 2010
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- Northern Illinois
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When 2 people get married.... at that time they should be at their closest. So their only choice is to grow apart after that.
Huh? That makes no sense. Life makes you closer. My husband and I have had our ups and downs, but no one in this world but him has been through what I've been through in the past 11 years. We know and understand each other better than anyone else. Feeling in love ebbs and flows, but true love sticks around. I think people often mistake "in love" for true love. :shrug:
*pointing finger to article in thread* :roll:
Huh? That makes no sense. Life makes you closer. My husband and I have had our ups and downs, but no one in this world but him has been through what I've been through in the past 11 years. We know and understand each other better than anyone else. Feeling in love ebbs and flows, but true love sticks around. I think people often mistake "in love" for true love. :shrug:
Love isn't a passing infatuation, it is a choice and an action. It is something you choose daily to do, rather than something that you feel 100% of the time.
I think that we have a distorted view of love in our society. People think that a passing infatuation is "love." The fact of the matter is that it's easy to fantasize about someone else. You don't have to share a bathroom with that person, pick up their underwear off the floor every day, listen to them snore at night, or bitch about the honey-do list at them. You get to live this rosy-colored idea inside your head of what things would be like with them, without ever experiencing the reality of that person. It's stupid behavior, to be truthful. And a lot of Americans have no more maturity than the average 14-year-old.
Love isn't a passing infatuation, it is a choice and an action. It is something you choose daily to do, rather than something that you feel 100% of the time.
I love my children, but when one of them wakes me at 2 a.m. making a snack in the kitchen, I don't FEEL particularly loving. I feel annoyed and like I'd like to smack one of them. Americans have mistaken infatuation for love.
I agree and at the same time I disagree.Huh? That makes no sense. Life makes you closer. My husband and I have had our ups and downs, but no one in this world but him has been through what I've been through in the past 11 years. We know and understand each other better than anyone else. Feeling in love ebbs and flows, but true love sticks around. I think people often mistake "in love" for true love. :shrug:
I agree and at the same time I disagree.
On the one hand, I do agree that people tend to have a rather fuzzy idea of what love actually is and lust as well as infatuation are often mistaken for love.
On the other hand, I dont agree with the idea that there is "true love", as much as I'd like to support the idea, I dont see a basis for supposing it exists. Also, I feel that monogamy is a powerful social construct that does not exist anywhere else in the natural world. To clarify, there are animals that pair sexually and stay paired for a long time or even life, but no animals (that I'm currently aware of) are monogamous in the sense humans are (or are expected to be). It seems to go against our biology and against our evolutionary drives.
Because it's almost never true monogamy. Wolves are a prime example, the alpha male and female will mate for life, but the alpha male WILL take other "lovers".if they pair for life, why don't you consider that monogamous?
Because it's almost never true monogamy. Wolves are a prime example, the alpha male and female will mate for life, but the alpha male WILL take other "lovers".
true.....but their mates don't seem to care......and their couplings are mainly for procreation, whereas ours are not.
Biologically speaking, diversity. Genetic diversity is a key factor in the survival of a species because it encourages the spread of successful genes around the population.then what is the purpose of their sexual encounters with those which are not their significant others?
Biologically speaking, diversity. Genetic diversity is a key factor in the survival of a species because it encourages the spread of successful genes around the population.
I never said that. Infact I think that's an important point that most people forget; you can take people out of the jungle but you cant take the jungle out of people.and you think that innate need to spread the seed no longer impacts the male human?
Because it's almost never true monogamy. Wolves are a prime example, the alpha male and female will mate for life, but the alpha male WILL take other "lovers".
I have an underlying theory that monogamy is not a normal behavior for humans. I freely admit I cannot prove this with empirical evidence, however this opinion is culled from years upon years of observing and talking with my fellow man regarding this subject.
"Playing the field" is not the same as seeking a romantic relationship with multiple people.Talking with my fellow man, and looking at the cross-section of people who are in their twilight years who have been in a monogamous relationship compared to those who played the field, I find the former category are happier with their lot.
"Playing the field" is not the same as seeking a romantic relationship with multiple people.
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