young love, true or not?

[Curious Cat]

This is accurate and defines the conflict with young people. It is not about absence of feelings, but about understanding what those feelings represent.

hm. i agree. so why do you think elders tend to say young love isnt true?

 

[CaptainCourtesy]

hm. i agree. so why do you think elders tend to say young love isnt true?

Several reasons. Firstly, I think many do not understand that teens have the same feelings as they do, but just have a hard time sorting them out. Secondly, unfortunately, many adults dismiss teens opinions/thoughts solely because of their age. Next, many adults do not want to admit that teens can be in love because they are concerned about the repercussions of this (sex). Also, teens, because of the intensity of their emotions and the changeableness of then, tend to think that all teen feelings are fleeting and unimportant. Finally, because of the often impulsive nature of teen reactions to their emotions, adults tend to see these emotions as overdramatic. This is by no means a complete list, but what I can think of at the moment.

 

[Agnapostate]

Young love gets divorced more often. FACT.

That's not true, and I've addressed that very claim before right here on the forum. As I said then, Department of Health and Human Services data has previously indicated that males aged nineteen and under divorced at a rate of 32.8 per 1,000 married couples in the year 1990, whereas males aged twenty to twenty-four divorced at a higher rate of 50.2, indicating that youth doesn't necessarily serve as an accurate indicator of the capacity to maintain a stable relationship.

Moreover, as the divorce rate increased in this country, so did the average age of marriage. That certainly doesn't imply that there's a causative link between the two, but it does imply that no especially strong causative link exists between youth and higher divorce, or a decrease in divorces would have occurred as the average age of marriage rose if there was.

So I'd posit that that's an assessment in need of greater analysis on the part of commentators who frequently issue lamentations of all variety on the issue.

 

[Curious Cat]

hm. i find this interesting. ive seen and heard of many relationships last 10 years and as soon as the couple married, a year later divorced. why do you think that is?

 

[Agnapostate]

hm. i find this interesting. ive seen and heard of many relationships last 10 years and as soon as the couple married, a year later divorced. why do you think that is?

It's likely related to the fact that marriage is no longer regarded as a "sacrosanct bond," and instead as a formalized domestic partnership that's not integral for a developed relationship.

 

[Curious Cat]

It's likely related to the fact that marriage is no longer regarded as a "sacrosanct bond," and instead as a formalized domestic partnership that's not integral for a developed relationship.

what do you mean by that?

 

[Agnapostate]

what do you mean by that?

That it was regarded as purely sacred or religiously ordained at one point.

 

[Dynamic]

I don't think anyone has the right to tell anyone whether they are in love or not. Only the people involved really know. And to be frank, I believe that infatuation only becomes known as such after you experience a relationship that held more chemistry and bonding.
I think there are different stages of love and all love should be counted. Even if later on you find that you love someone more than the last man/woman you fell "in love" with. Love can also be felt at any age.
I also find it to be damaging to tell someone they don't know what love is. It can be misleading, especially if they believe they love someone and now think their feelings are wrong. It can also bring on the "the grass is greener on the other side" syndrome. But then again I've noticed that a lot of people pull the "you're too young to know what love is" card when they themselves are not happy with the persons choice.

 

[Curious Cat]

wow. very strong opinions. but i understand what you mean, and i agree with it. (it seems i use the word agree a lot lately haha) why do you suppose people tend to turn to the "the grass is greener on the other side" mind frame?

 

[Catz Part Deux]

That's not true, and I've addressed that very claim before right here on the forum. As I said then, Department of Health and Human Services data has previously indicated that males aged nineteen and under divorced at a rate of 32.8 per 1,000 married couples in the year 1990, whereas males aged twenty to twenty-four divorced at a higher rate of 50.2, indicating that youth doesn't necessarily serve as an accurate indicator of the capacity to maintain a stable relationship.

Finally. Stiffler's Mom is vindicated.

 

[Agnapostate]

Stifler, unless that was some kind of pun.

 

[Catz Part Deux]

I was thinking of that scene from AP1:

Stifler's Mom: I got some scotch.
Finch: Single malt?
Stifler's Mom: Aged eighteen years. The way I like it. ...

 

[Inferno]

hm. i agree. so why do you think elders tend to say young love isnt true?

Because those that are older think they have a lock on everything. They are experts and want anyone younger that they are to believe that too. Love at any age is prefect. Just perfect.

 

[SovereignState]

Because those that are older think they have a lock on everything. They are experts and want anyone younger that they are to believe that too. Love at any age is prefect. Just perfect.

Or maybe they have a CLUE and EXPERIENCE with leeches like you.

Yeah, life is "perfect" if you're a sociopath who thinks you're the center of the universe, and have a partner in crime who validates your perfection while you cheat on the social contract together, oblivious to how you infect those around you.

It's really "perfect" to be a self-centered egotist, like when you produce kids for your own fulfillment and then move on to something else, shovelling your responsibility on to the rest of society to deal with your little dysfunctions.
Being responsible isn't about life being "perfect," it's HARD WORK. Of course parasites don't believe in responsibility, just leeching off others so they can have what they want.

 

[Inferno]

Or maybe they have a CLUE and EXPERIENCE with leeches like you.

Yeah, life is "perfect" if you're a sociopath who thinks you're the center of the universe, and have a partner in crime who validates your perfection while you cheat on the social contract together, oblivious to how you infect those around you.

It's really "perfect" to be a self-centered egotist, like when you produce kids for your own fulfillment and then move on to something else, shovelling your responsibility on to the rest of society to deal with your little dysfunctions.
Being responsible isn't about life being "perfect," it's HARD WORK. Of course parasites don't believe in responsibility, just leeching off others so they can have what they want.

Wow do you have your panties in a knot. You need to lighten up you could break a blood vessel in your head.

Love is perfect. You have added much to this. Sounds as if you have a few issues.

 

[joko104]

Or maybe they have a CLUE and EXPERIENCE with leeches like you.

Yeah, life is "perfect" if you're a sociopath who thinks you're the center of the universe, and have a partner in crime who validates your perfection while you cheat on the social contract together, oblivious to how you infect those around you.

It's really "perfect" to be a self-centered egotist, like when you produce kids for your own fulfillment and then move on to something else, shovelling your responsibility on to the rest of society to deal with your little dysfunctions.
Being responsible isn't about life being "perfect," it's HARD WORK. Of course parasites don't believe in responsibility, just leeching off others so they can have what they want.

I was given a warning for posting someone should stop being a "crybaby" for demanding moderators do something about people picking on him.

SovereignState posts that Inferno is a leech, sociopath a self-centered egotist.

Is that a OK?

Inferno never trolls or flames anyone. So Talloulou, what am I missing about the moderator warning system?

BTW, if I didn't post it before, Inferno, I appreciate your responses to differences we have. You're the first gay activist to actually discuss rather than rage or just toss out slogans.

 

[Tucker Case]

I was given a warning for posting someone should stop being a "crybaby" for demanding moderators do something about people picking on him.

SovereignState posts that Inferno is a leech, sociopath a self-centered egotist.

Is that a OK?

Inferno never trolls or flames anyone. So Talloulou, what am I missing about the moderator warning system?

BTW, if I didn't post it before, Inferno, I appreciate your responses to differences we have. You're the first gay activist to actually discuss rather than rage or just toss out slogans.

Three things:

1. You can't be sure what infractions were given to the person in question as they are usually kept private. There may or may not have been repercussions for the post in question.

2. If you see a post that breaks the rules, then click the "report post" icon on the left side of the post. It is a triangle with an exclamation point. The mods aren't really able to see every post that is made that violates the rules, so they created this system so that people could help them by pointing out offending posts. This way, you can at least be aware that the mods have been informed of the post that violates the rules. Often times, they are not aware until the report post function is utilized.

3. Review the rules of the forum. Issues with moderation are supposed to be dealt with via PM. (The rule is specifically Rule 6a) Violation of this rule can lead to an automatic temporary suspension of posting privileges. This rule is in place so that threads don't get derailed over moderation issues. There is also a forum in the basement where people can publicly discuss moderation called "Binky" where the 6a rule does not apply.



So I would advise that you first report the post that breaks the rules and then handle issues with moderation via PM.


P.S. I'm not a mod. You're new so I'm just giving you a heads up on how things work.

 

[Baralis]

I think true love can be had at any age. However I think alot of young people that fall in love dont stay that way. From my own experience I think alot of this is due to the age and the amount we change at that time. When we are young adults and new to the adult world we change alot in only a few years. I know I was a much different person at 25 then I was at 18, my views and attitudes changed a great deal when I experienced the real world for a time. I suspect this can happen to alot of young people and couples grow in different directions and suddenly realize thier partner and themselves are no longer exactly what they once were.

 

[Goshin]

I think true love can be had at any age. However I think alot of young people that fall in love dont stay that way. From my own experience I think alot of this is due to the age and the amount we change at that time. When we are young adults and new to the adult world we change alot in only a few years. I know I was a much different person at 25 then I was at 18, my views and attitudes changed a great deal when I experienced the real world for a time. I suspect this can happen to alot of young people and couples grow in different directions and suddenly realize thier partner and themselves are no longer exactly what they once were.

I wish I could thank you twice for that post; you nailed it.

My first real, deep love began when I was barely sixteen. We dated all through high school. We planned to get married. In the first year of college it all fell apart; we both changed; we were no longer the same people at 19 who had fallen in love at 16.

Love is great, but love isn't always enough. There has to be more to make it last: shared values and norms, similar hopes and dreams, some shared intrests and hobbies, a compatible vision of what you want your life together to be like.

There's also the infatuation factor. Infatuation, or the "new car smell" as some say, can last from a month to a couple of years. When it wears off, you find out whether you really love someone or were just infatuated. Young people have a regrettable tendency to rush into things before the "newness" has worn off.

G.

 

[joko104]

Three things:

1. You can't be sure what infractions were given to the person in question as they are usually kept private. There may or may not have been repercussions for the post in question.

2. If you see a post that breaks the rules, then click the "report post" icon on the left side of the post. It is a triangle with an exclamation point. The mods aren't really able to see every post that is made that violates the rules, so they created this system so that people could help them by pointing out offending posts. This way, you can at least be aware that the mods have been informed of the post that violates the rules. Often times, they are not aware until the report post function is utilized.

3. Review the rules of the forum. Issues with moderation are supposed to be dealt with via PM. (The rule is specifically Rule 6a) Violation of this rule can lead to an automatic temporary suspension of posting privileges. This rule is in place so that threads don't get derailed over moderation issues. There is also a forum in the basement where people can publicly discuss moderation called "Binky" where the 6a rule does not apply.



So I would advise that you first report the post that breaks the rules and then handle issues with moderation via PM.


P.S. I'm not a mod. You're new so I'm just giving you a heads up on how things work.

Thanks for the heads up. Most forums post warnings so others know that the rules are being enforced. I'll be careful.

 

[CaptainCourtesy]

I was given a warning for posting someone should stop being a "crybaby" for demanding moderators do something about people picking on him.

SovereignState posts that Inferno is a leech, sociopath a self-centered egotist.

Is that a OK?

Inferno never trolls or flames anyone. So Talloulou, what am I missing about the moderator warning system?

BTW, if I didn't post it before, Inferno, I appreciate your responses to differences we have. You're the first gay activist to actually discuss rather than rage or just toss out slogans.

Moderator's Warning:

So you are aware, it is against forum rules to comment on moderation action, publicly. That being said, if you have questions about issues like these, feel free to PM a mod.

 

[joko104]

I don't post any messages responding to any debate topic message by any moderator on any topic on any thread (other than Rat on a personal topic level that seems acceptable to him) and will not make any comments about any particular moderator in the future. If in the future something seems appropriate to post about moderation on general I will post it in the basement.

 

[CaptainCourtesy]

I don't post any messages responding to any debate topic message by any moderator on any topic on any thread (other than Rat on a personal topic level that seems acceptable to him) and will not make any comments about any particular moderator in the future. If in the future something seems appropriate to post about moderation on general I will post it in the basement.

Except that's what precisely what you did...posted about moderation in general outside the Basement. Just a reminder that though this is not allowed, if you have questions, you can PM a mod.