Happens to everyone, often from both angles. Ya, it sucks. But you should feel good she ended it so quickly! Remember, there are people that find out this after 5 years of marriage and a kid and lose 1/2 their life's wealth...you got off with barely a scratchSo, for the past month and a half I've went out with this girl who I liked, and who I thought liked me. Everything was going well, we would text every day multiple times, and when we hung out, we always had fun (or so I thought), and talked for hours. Her roommates even said she talked about me to them all the time.
So, for the past month and a half I've went out with this girl who I liked, and who I thought liked me. Everything was going well, we would text every day multiple times, and when we hung out, we always had fun (or so I thought), and talked for hours. Her roommates even said she talked about me to them all the time.
Now, for the past few days I've noticed she was getting more "cold", and texting less, and on Sunday for the first time she didn't text me at all. I contacted her Monday to see if she was ok, and she said yes, but I noticed that suddenly I was the one texting all the time, while she was giving me short answers. On Monday Night I asked if she wanted to hang out this coming week, and she never answered. so Tuesday (today) I asked her again, and she suddenly claimed to be very busy and basically told me she couldn't hang out anymore. This has happened to me before, so I figured that she lost interest in me for whatever reason, and so I left it at that. But, I decided since I liked her a lot to ask her for the real truth, and it came out. She was no longer interested in me. She claimed it wasn't because of me personally, but rather because she needed to "find herself", and because of school and other things (though she told me last week she has been happy lately), but I don't believe it (but maybe it's true, who knows). I don't know, it just sucks to think that I thought I had something good with someone, for them to suddenly out of nowhere decide that I was no longer worthy of their time. Sucks even more because I tend to be generous with girls, and I have a feeling she may have taken advantage of that. And before anyone says anything, no I don't think she owes me anything because of my generosity, but it just sucks when this happens. I know I have to "move on", but I just felt like venting.
its you... told me she couldn't hang out anymore. This has happened to me before ...
That's really good advice, and much shorter than my dribble.make friends not with the intent to become romantic with them. if there is a spark there, she WILL let you know
Ah, that's too bad. Sounds like she was getting a bit tired of you. It's probably time to play it cool for a while.
If you want to have girls all over you, get a puppy. Walk it through a public park and see what happens. I'm not kidding. If you can't keep one, borrow one for a while. It's kind of an experiment, but I've heard that it is a chick magnet.
She was giving you an "excrement test". Once you texted her and she didn't respond, you should have only texted her again after she made contact with you. She sensed that you weren't acting like you're the prize and she picked up on it.
i disliked dating, and i've had this kind of thing happen more than a few times. i've found that if someone wants to talk to you or hang out, they will make it happen. this doesn't mean completely ignore the other person, but i usually go no contact at some point when this cycle looks like it's going to happen. when my wife and i started dating, we mostly tossed out the text game and just wrote each other when we felt like it. that was a bit of a unique situation, though, as we were both kind of looking for the same thing at the same time.
either way, sorry that you're going through this. it can be stressful, frustrating, and disappointing. hang in there, and you'll most likely find the right person eventually.
She has lost interest for whatever reason. I would stop texting her, and chalk it up to experience.
Actually, I'm going to say that SDET is 100% correct, at least about certain types of women, and there ARE those types.
And it IS a "personality test" of sorts.
No, not all women do that stuff, but some do.
And SDET's guess might just be on the money.
There are also countless other "tests" that different kinds of women pull. Some do it subconsciously, some do it on purpose, some do it out of fear and insecurity, some do it out of boredom, and some don't do it at all.
that's what i would advise in most situations. i will add that this sort of thing happens whether you are a man or a woman.
It wasn't going anywhere unless you are both religious and going beyond kissing is a really big deal. People will ALWAYS find time for sex if that's what they want.
Maybe you are too shy? Bought too much into feminist #MeToo. While no woman wants an assailant (most don't anyway), most do want a very confident man, including romantically and physically. Did you pursue more than kissing? Afraid to try, that it might ruin things? If so, stop wasting your time on that. A woman almost immediately will know if the guy is someone she'd want to have sex with or not.
The modern rule - again unless religious OR very young? Sex by date 4. I mean if you were at date 10 and didn't have your hand at least on her breast if not at her crotch, this was going nowhere!
PS - NEVER ask "why didn't you return my call/text?" It is a declaration of desperation and a possessiveness demand. NEVER ever do that again.
If the OPer has just given her space, it may have worked out. Instead, he forced a declaration out of her. That will never go well.
She has lost interest for whatever reason. I would stop texting her, and chalk it up to experience.
Yeah i did. I never even answered back. Just time to move on.
Nah, not religious and yes I'm generally shy.
appreciate it. Funny thing about her is a few weeks ago she was ranting about about how all she wanted was a nice guy...and how her previous dates/boyfriends were all supposedly assholes...but now I'm starting to wonder.
And yes, dating sucks.
Once again, shy or not shy, if it feels like work, you're with the wrong person.
Women are every bit as odd and strange as men. The most interesting thing is, you can meet a girl who nobody would immediately think of as attractive at first glance, right? And yet if she decides that she is really interested in you, she will go to great lengths with her appearance, and suddenly you're wondering if she's the same girl you were talking to the other day.
Same with their personalities. They might be shy and weird at first but if they really are attracted to someone, suddenly they blossom, and you discover things about them you wouldn't have noticed right off the bat.
Some of the most interesting girls I've ever been with were introverted, shy...didn't go to great lengths with their appearance, but somehow I could just tell that they were amazing. And sure enough, all of a sudden EVERYBODY noticed.
Naturally they had best girlfriends who "always said how cute they were" or "how sweet and wonderful they were"...but no one else noticed.
The first really serious girlfriend I ever had, serious as in "we moved in together as a couple" serious...she was this quiet girl who worked at a drugstore, wore nerd glasses, didn't do anything with her hair, wore the drugstore smock at work and wore frumpy clothes the rest of the time.
But I saw her every day and she started joking with me, just making little funny jokes or comments, and I started to really notice her.
And then I was out of town for about two weeks and came back, and she had done her hair up and was all dolled up and holy smokes, I was floored.
I asked her out of course. It was EFFORTLESS...I did not have to try at anything, she was just fun and interesting in every way, and cute as the dickens.
That relationship imprinted me for life. Even though it ultimately ended, I've noticed that every woman I have been with ever since has at least something in common with that girl, either their personality, or looks or some combination. Every woman I've been with since shares some small trait or traits with her. It can be the smallest most insignificant thing but I notice it, even though I'm apparently seeking it subconsciously.
I am in my sixties now, so some of the people I used to know are dying off, some at a young age.
And 2 years ago I learned that this first special girl died unexpectedly at age 51 of a sudden cerebral hemorrhage.
I hadn't really thought about her in years because my wife is so precious to me...this girl from my past was deep in the cobwebs, but when I heard that she died, I cried as if I was freshly brokenhearted...it was so damn sad. We had gone our separate ways in 1981, but suddenly I felt so sad.
It was effortless, her love was effortless, it was pure, I guess. She was sweet. And I was lucky to know her.
That is what you need to look for. Take your time, and you'll stumble on it in the most unlikely place...like I did.
And it's the same story with my wife, the best woman I've ever been with. I stumbled onto her in an unlikely place, too.
And she is most definitely unconventional.
No more spending too much money on girls I'm just casually dating,
I agree. This has happened to me a few times, but I've learned my lesson for sure now. No more spending too much money on girls I'm just casually dating, as it could lead to me being kicked to the curb, with less money to boot.
Because they can. The "it's not you, it's me" line just means that they got tired of you and have found the next Mr. Wonderful to spend their time with. People change some over time, often at different rates and in different directions than others. Just be glad that there were not children or joint assets involved.
Sounds like you were drowning her, wanting to consume every minute and every thought she has. The initial rush of romance ALWAYS fades. It appears you are very "clinging" and "needy" of constant attention. If someone got upset because I would not endlessly text back and forth I'd want to get away from that person REAL QUICK.
Also, your comment on "being generous" indicated you think you can buy affection and devotion despite your denying it, and if the woman does not pay you back with 100% constant emotional loyalty you see it as a betrayal. She may have perceived this was your motive for spending on her.
That you kept texting her long texts, after she was cutting back and giving short answers was you forcing her to pick you forever or dump you. She picked the latter and nearly all women would.
Never believe the reason someone gives for dumping you. You were acting incredibly possessive and needy for a 6 week old relationship - and then increasingly pressing her over it. That'd kill it even if it wasn't already over.
By your message, you've been thru this before. I suspect you always will too with the attitude you portray in your message. Apparently, from date one, you expect the woman to act like she's your 100% devoted wife attending to all your attention needs. Not to be insulting, but I'm on her side on this one.
I dis-agree.
There is a good old saying: "A decent question deserves a decent answer."
To ignore a decent question from a friend and keep silent and "play dead" is just cowardly - and inhuman.
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