You said a lot in that post, and I don't know if I can do it justice with a complete reply.
You are so right that the failure of family is one of the biggest problems we face today. IMHO, the writing was on the wall when the post war economy realized that most households now had TWO potential incomes. I can remember well how this works since I was a wee tyke in the '50s, and my Mother always had a job. The way they got ahead was simple: we lived with her parents while Mom & Dad went to work to earn a nest egg while Granny and Gramps took care of the little bundle of joy. Similarly, my wife's family was fairly large, so her Mother also worked - and she (as the eldest) did most of the child care and housework duties. I am just a techno-freak and business guy, so I didn't really give much thought to how it would work, but imagine my horror when she announced to me that when we had kids, she would walk away from her career that took over a decade of full and part time education to establish? Well, 30 years later, watching our kids grow up with a FULL TIME parent + 1/2 and usually some extended family around, we can really see the difference between their group of friends (almost all of whom had "super-moms" as well) and those from latch-key or broken families.
I can also tell you that another thing lost with family values of the past is the level of personal responsibility that was ingrained in kids - and STILL can be. When you talk about being in the street with a couple of kids - the concept was that you didn't HAVE kids until and unless you could afford to raise them. The other almost lost idea was that marriage was a PERMANENT COMITTMENT kind of deal, not some on-again-off-again thing - and that it was an integral part of the family it took to have and raise children. I realize you are not to blame as you are a product of that environment - but it is within your purvey to change that heritage before passing it along to your progeny.
The other comment is about "working the sytem". Maybe you think that is just fine, but again, I can tell you from first hand experience that there are still a few people left who would not only avoid defrauding the government of money, but who would not accept government money under ANY circumstances - partly because of what it would teach THEIR children what was right and wrong.
What I think you realize, or at least I hope you do, is that an extended and stable family is not just there to lend you a few bucks until payday - it is there so you learn how to live responsibly and never even THINK about doing so. While we may be economically and technically more advanced than most Asian nations it is the strength of family that allows them to succeed easily in a world that seems to baffle our best efforts today.
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