What Is Your Fine?

[Joni]

I'd have to do this with a spreadsheet. I think I'll pass.

 

[Muhammed]

$375. Though some of those the penalty is quite high for seemingly trivial things.

And not only that, there is no statute of limitations. For example, I got a $100 fine for having sex for money. But that was two decades ago. And I didn't screw any woman for money that I wouldn't have gladly and eagerly screwed for free anyways.

 

[taxigirl]

Smoked weed... -- $10
Did acid or pills -- $5
Ever had sex inside a house of worship -- $25
Woke up in the morning and did not know the person who was next to you -- $40
Had sex with someone you "met" on MySpace/Facebook -- $25
Had sex for money -- $100
Vandalized something as revenge on an former lover -- $20
Had sex on your parents' bed -- $10
Beat up someone over your lover or ex-lover -- $20
Been jumped (beaten over your lover or ex-lover) -- $10
Cross dressed -- $10
Given money to stripper -- $25
Been in love with a stripper -- $20
Kissed someone who's name you didn't know -- $10
Hit on some one while at work -- $15
Used sex toys while having sex -- $30
Got drunk, passed out and did not remember the night before, but suspect you had sex -- $20
Went skinny dipping -- $5
Had sex in a pool -- $20
Kissed someone of the same sex -- $10
Had sex with someone of the same sex -- $20
Cheated on your significant other -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Cheated on your significant other with their relative or close friend -- $20
Done oral -- $5
Got oral -- $5
Done / got oral in a vehicle while it was moving -- $25
Stole something to please your lover -- $10
Had sex with someone while in jail -- $25
Made a nasty home video or took pictures of your own sexual activity -- $15 ($100 extra if you uploaded them on the 'net)
Had a threesome -- $50
Had sex in public -- $20
Been in the same room while others were having sex --$25
Had sex with someone 10 years older -- $20
Had sex with someone under the age accepted by "rule of thumb" (half your age plus 7) -- $25
Been in love with two people or more at the same time -- $50
Said you loved someone you didn't just to get laid -- $25
Went streaking -- $5
Went streaking in broad daylight -- $15
Been arrested -- $5 (Extra $100 for public indecency arrests.)
Spent time in jail -- $15
Pissed in the pool -- $50
Played spin the bottle -- $5
Done something sexual you regret -- $20
Had sex with your best friend -- $20
Had sex with someone you work with while AT work -- $25 ($5 extra if you used a desk.)
Had anal sex -- $80
Lied to your mate -- $5
Lied to your mate about the sex being good -- $25


Yikes! If I added it up correctly...

925

I have to compare to see how you beat my 835.
:censored
Maybe I should not tell...

 

[Pinkie]

ecofarm wrote in part:

Originally Posted by Pinkie
I don't doubt it. I have to pace myself these days.

I was kinda hopin' for a challenge

Think "quality", not "quantity", eco.

What do you know about fire play, BTW? Are you a reasonably experienced, safe partner for the riskier stuff?

(No special reason for askin', of course.....)

*Whistles innocently*

And as for some of you others...sex in house of worship???????

Freakin' perverts!

HTH did you pull THAT off? Surely not during services???

 

[Pinkie]

Adjustable rubber.

As in, full body latex suit?

What color, may I ask? Or do you have a collection?

 

[Pinkie]

575 but that's misleading. I'm really not that nasty.... anymore.

O, dear...alas, I have gotten far, far, far worse at 58 than I was at 18.

I blame it all on Pat Robertson. Half the pervy stuff I love now I had never heard of until he lambasted it.

 

[Pinkie]

$460

I think some of these are weighted oddly, though. Some of the ones I've done without a second thought are worth a lot, whereas some that I would never do aren't worth much.

Does threadjacking, whining and general pissiness help you emote better, Paschendale?

Dun worry...you will outgrow this emo phase, someday.

 

[Pinkie]

300 for me


Sent from my YP-G1 using Tapatalk. My YP-G1 is a very nice device that hardly ever explodes or shoots jets of burning acid at my face. Samsung has done a good job in that respect in building it. However one has to consider hamsters in regard to android as cyborg hamsters are very cool. Imagine how fast an Android hamster could run in their exercise wheel for example.

Just an FYI, megaprogman.

All threadjackers will be celibate for life within 24 hours of uploading a jack post.

So sayeth the threadmoher, and, so it shall be.

 

[Pinkie]

That's what I thought too.

Okay, for the last time, as I explained in the Op.

I. Did. Not. Write. The. Fine. Schedule.

A friend of mine did. I thought it was funny, and would make for a lightweight thread for this forum.

Try not running off after every shiney thing you happen to see, nota. It can make it harder to concentrate.

 

[NoC_T]

As in, full body latex suit?

What color, may I ask? Or do you have a collection?

Indeed not, madam.

That was my failed attempt at humour. You must forgive a witling's lack of talent.

 

[NoC_T]

Okay, for the last time, as I explained in the Op.

I. Did. Not. Write. The. Fine. Schedule.

A friend of mine did. I thought it was funny, and would make for a lightweight thread for this forum.

Try not running off after every shiney thing you happen to see, nota. It can make it harder to concentrate.

*crowd goes "ooooOOOOoooo!"*

:lol:

 

[MKULTRABOY]

I don't want to face this list. I am ashamed.

 

[Pinkie]

Smoked weed... -- $10
Did acid or pills -- $5
Ever had sex inside a house of worship -- $25
Woke up in the morning and did not know the person who was next to you -- $40
Had sex with someone you "met" on MySpace/Facebook -- $25
Had sex for money -- $100
Vandalized something as revenge on an former lover -- $20
Had sex on your parents' bed -- $10
Beat up someone over your lover or ex-lover -- $20
Been jumped (beaten over your lover or ex-lover) -- $10
Cross dressed -- $10
Given money to stripper -- $25
Been in love with a stripper -- $20
Kissed someone who's name you didn't know -- $10
Hit on some one while at work -- $15
Used sex toys while having sex -- $30
Got drunk, passed out and did not remember the night before, but suspect you had sex -- $20
Went skinny dipping -- $5
Had sex in a pool -- $20
Kissed someone of the same sex -- $10
Had sex with someone of the same sex -- $20
Cheated on your significant other -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Cheated on your significant other with their relative or close friend -- $20
Done oral -- $5
Got oral -- $5
Done / got oral in a vehicle while it was moving -- $25
Stole something to please your lover -- $10
Had sex with someone while in jail -- $25
Made a nasty home video or took pictures of your own sexual activity -- $15 ($100 extra if you uploaded them on the 'net)
Had a threesome -- $50
Had sex in public -- $20
Been in the same room while others were having sex --$25
Had sex with someone 10 years older -- $20
Had sex with someone under the age accepted by "rule of thumb" (half your age plus 7) -- $25
Been in love with two people or more at the same time -- $50
Said you loved someone you didn't just to get laid -- $25
Went streaking -- $5
Went streaking in broad daylight -- $15
Been arrested -- $5 (Extra $100 for public indecency arrests.)
Spent time in jail -- $15
Pissed in the pool -- $50
Played spin the bottle -- $5
Done something sexual you regret -- $20
Had sex with your best friend -- $20
Had sex with someone you work with while AT work -- $25 ($5 extra if you used a desk.)
Had anal sex -- $80
Lied to your mate -- $5
Lied to your mate about the sex being good -- $25


Yikes! If I added it up correctly...

925

Link, please?

 

[ecofarm]

Think "quality", not "quantity", eco.

False dichotomy

What do you know about fire play, BTW? Are you a reasonably experienced, safe partner for the riskier stuff?

I'm sorry, hon, but I have no idea what you're talking about. I figure playing with fire would be a pretty significant distraction from the sex. Perhaps I could be the safety official and not responsible for the sex part. When I mentioned "power cords", I was referring to The Kinks. I can't imagine actual electrical cords being involved; all my girlfriends had the regular battery model.

 

[Pinkie]

False dichotomy



I'm sorry, hon, but I have no idea what you're talking about. I figure playing with fire would be a pretty significant distraction from the sex. Perhaps I could be the safety official and not responsible for the sex part. When I mentioned "power cords", I was referring to The Kinks. I can't imagine actual electrical cords being involved; all my girlfriends had the regular battery model.

O. You have much yet to learn, grasshopper.

*Winks*

 

[Pinkie]

BTW, where is the linkiepoodle to Muhammed's sex tape on the 'net?

(Not that I would ever watch it myself, of course, but after all, he did claim one exists.)

LMAO!

 

[Urethra Franklin]

$725 and worth every cent.

 

[Ockham]

$725 and worth every cent.

Sweet Baby Jesus that's a high score.

 

[Pinkie]

Sweet Baby Jesus that's a high score.

**** that 'tude. As long as Uretha has been ethical and safe, I say:

 

[Baralis]

This is fun to do. Just read the 'offence' and if you've done it, you owe that fine. You don't have to confess your answers, just the amount of your fine.

NOTE: fines to be added once for a type of "offense". No extra points for repeat "offenders".

Smoked weed... -- $10
Did acid or pills -- $5
Woke up in the morning and did not know the person who was next to you -- $40
Vandalized something as revenge on an former lover -- $20
Had sex on your parents' bed -- $10
Beat up someone over your lover or ex-lover -- $20
Given money to stripper -- $25
Kissed someone who's name you didn't know -- $10
Hit on some one while at work -- $15
Used sex toys while having sex -- $30
Went skinny dipping -- $5
Had sex in a pool -- $20
Cheated on your significant other -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Done oral -- $5
Got oral -- $5
Done / got oral in a vehicle while it was moving -- $25
Made a nasty home video or took pictures of your own sexual activity -- $15 ($100 extra if you uploaded them on the 'net)
Had sex in public -- $20
Been in the same room while others were having sex --$25
Had sex with someone 10 years older -- $20
Said you loved someone you didn't just to get laid -- $25
Went streaking -- $5
Went streaking in broad daylight -- $15
Been arrested -- $5 (Extra $100 for public indecency arrests.)
Spent time in jail -- $15
Pissed in the pool -- $50
Done something sexual you regret -- $20
Had anal sex -- $80
Lied to your mate -- $5
Lied to your mate about the sex being good -- $25

Tally it up and tell us your fine. No details required.

Total = 590

Im 37 and have been celibate for about 10 years now, do I get a handicap? lol

 

[Kal'Stang]

$205

Though why some of them required a fine I have no idea. :shrug: POV I guess.

 

[Pinkie]

$205

Though why some of them required a fine I have no idea. :shrug: POV I guess.

GODDAMIT! One more post bitching about that Op and I may write a "fine schedule" of my own. I STOLE it from a friend, Kal'Stang.

 

[Kal'Stang]

GODDAMIT! One more post bitching about that Op and I may write a "fine schedule" of my own. I STOLE it from a friend, Kal'Stang.

Down girl down! I wasn't complaining about it I was just wondering thats all. It was a completely innocent observation thats all.

Edit: Also I did not read the thread before posting my post. I do that for a lot of threads.

 

[cpwill]

huh. $430.....

 

[Pinkie]

Down girl down! I wasn't complaining about it I was just wondering thats all. It was a completely innocent observation thats all.

Edit: Also I did not read the thread before posting my post. I do that for a lot of threads.

Me too. No harm, no foul.