Was I wrong?

radcen said:

Bingo. She'll read it as a win. And she will be emboldened for the next time... and there will be a next time.

Click to expand...

In my experience, when someone is doing something wrong, emboldening them to do even more is a good strategy.

sangha said:

In my experience, when someone is doing something wrong, emboldening them to do even more is a good strategy.

Click to expand...

It can be. The down side is that you don't usually get to watch as karma kicks them in the face later on. :2razz:

radcen said:

It can be. The down side is that you don't usually get to watch as karma kicks them in the face later on. :2razz:

Click to expand...

IME, you often do get to see it. Your encouragement leads them to do things that annoy everyone. Usually, it doesn't take long before everyone else kicks them to the side.

sangha said:

In my experience, when someone is doing something wrong, emboldening them to do even more is a good strategy.

Click to expand...

Quite frankly, this doesn't even make sense. If everyone else sees the, OP, for example actually supporting and encouraging this lady to interrupt him and accuse everyone of being discriminatory and constantly making herself the issue at practice - how is that being any kind of a good coach? Certainly she'd have a valid defense in saying the coach said I should do this and I'm right to act this way. At the very least, the other parents, while they may not be happy with the lady, would most definitely not be impressed a coach that not only allows it, but actively encourages it.

The truth is that I really don't believe that you believe this, because that's sure not how you behave here. You're simply trying to justify why you think the OP should continually apologize and cater to this lady's feelings while making it seem like you're really not and that you really don't want the OP kicked around.

X Factor said:

The OP said that the lady didn't really "win" this but I guarantee you, she thinks she did. Now she's got an apology and an admission that he was the one in the wrong. This'll just encourage her.

Click to expand...

I didnt really admit to being in the wrong. I apologized for any misunderstanding and that I'd try to be more attentive. I never said I was sorry for discriminating or whatever the term is she thinks I did or was going to do.

Kreton said:

I didnt really admit to being in the wrong. I apologized for any misunderstanding and that I'd try to be more attentive. I never said I was sorry for discriminating or whatever the term is she thinks I did or was going to do.

Click to expand...

Well get used to apologizing and as long as it's to the right people, Sangha will love ya for it. Sincerely hope that gives you all the validation you need.

I'll bow out now.

X Factor said:

Well get used to apologizing and as long as it's to the right people, Sangha will love ya for it. Sincerely hope that gives you all the validation you need.

I'll bow out now.

Click to expand...

I think you should continue contributing your valuable insights to this thread. I think we can all benefit from having a diversity of viewpoints

X Factor said:

The OP said that the lady didn't really "win" this but I guarantee you, she thinks she did. Now she's got an apology and an admission that he was the one in the wrong. This'll just encourage her.

Click to expand...

Exactly. Hence my belief she WILL be a problem again.

stonewall50 said:

Athletics aren't important? I hear this a lot. So I am just curious. Are athletics less important than the arts?

Click to expand...

Stop putting words in my mouth. Nowhere in that post did I say that athletics were not important.

There are other things that are equally as important, though, like music and arts. But because most people are more interested in football games, they'd rather the money go to the athletic program than music or arts.

This is very common and very sad. Music and the arts should be a very important part of a child's growth. Not everybody can play football. Not everybody wants to play football. But one shouldn't be cut so the other can thrive.

X Factor said:

The OP said that the lady didn't really "win" this but I guarantee you, she thinks she did. Now she's got an apology and an admission that he was the one in the wrong. This'll just encourage her.

Click to expand...

Don't forget she also has a job now - his assistant coach. Now she gets to watch over his every move, and complain every chance she gets. He's completely going to be under a microscope.

Superfly said:

Stop putting words in my mouth. Nowhere in that post did I say that athletics were not important.

There are other things that are equally as important, though, like music and arts. But because most people are more interested in football games, they'd rather the money go to the athletic program than music or arts.

This is very common and very sad. Music and the arts should be a very important part of a child's growth. Not everybody can play football. Not everybody wants to play football. But one shouldn't be cut so the other can thrive.

Click to expand...

It was your tone. I went through several education courses while in college. I heard that speech MANY times. My problem is how often people condemn organized sports. I learned a lot form organized sports. I'm actually glad I spent a lot of time on a losing team. I know how to lose now.

But let me ask you...why can't you mix the 2? I don't care about learning music, can't play instrument or sing, and I really don't care about painting or sculptures. But ballet? Love it. I don't do it, but I appreciate it. As an athlete and someone who enjoys music.

No. I resent the anti sport mentality. You may not be, and I made an assumption. That was wrong. But you do understand why I would want to emphasize the importance right?

Superfly said:

Stop putting words in my mouth. Nowhere in that post did I say that athletics were not important.

There are other things that are equally as important, though, like music and arts. But because most people are more interested in football games, they'd rather the money go to the athletic program than music or arts.

This is very common and very sad. Music and the arts should be a very important part of a child's growth. Not everybody can play football. Not everybody wants to play football. But one shouldn't be cut so the other can thrive.

Click to expand...

the frequent quandary is that there is a limited pot of money available for all of the programs: sports, music, and the other arts
if what you are presenting is that one or more should not be eliminated so that those funds can be dedicated to another (sports program, for instance), then i agree with your take
but if you are expecting each program to operate with the same amount of financial resources, i must take exception
what are the wants and needs of the served public? that should be the gauge used to evaluate how the resources for such programs should be allocated. and if the emergence of lacrosse consumes some of the program resources that might otherwise have been given over to sculpting, ballet, and jazz ensemble (as an example), to allow a wider audience of the public to be served, then that would seem to be a good thing. not so much if that hierarchy of spending is not objectively formulated

and altho i remain highly critical of the actions of the park & rec staff's response to this incident, one of the factors that could have driven their weak decisions was that potential litigation might absorb limited monies which would have to be dedicated to the legal battle should it evolve

stonewall50 said:

It was your tone. I went through several education courses while in college. I heard that speech MANY times. My problem is how often people condemn organized sports. I learned a lot form organized sports. I'm actually glad I spent a lot of time on a losing team. I know how to lose now.

But let me ask you...why can't you mix the 2? I don't care about learning music, can't play instrument or sing, and I really don't care about painting or sculptures. But ballet? Love it. I don't do it, but I appreciate it. As an athlete and someone who enjoys music.

No. I resent the anti sport mentality. You may not be, and I made an assumption. That was wrong. But you do understand why I would want to emphasize the importance right?

Click to expand...

You made an incorrect assumption. I think that a good, solid, well-rounded education includes both. All kids need physical education, and sports are an important part of that. Some kids, that's the only way they'll make it to college is with a sports scholarship. But music is extremely important too, and should not be set aside so the football team can have brand new uniforms every year. I live in the south. Music, the arts and academics are just not as important to some people as a winning football team.

justabubba said:

the frequent quandary is that there is a limited pot of money available for all of the programs: sports, music, and the other arts
if what you are presenting is that one or more should not be eliminated so that those funds can be dedicated to another (sports program, for instance), then i agree with your take
but if you are expecting each program to operate with the same amount of financial resources, i must take exception
what are the wants and needs of the served public? that should be the gauge used to evaluate how the resources for such programs should be allocated. and if the emergence of lacrosse consumes some of the program resources that might otherwise have been given over to sculpting, ballet, and jazz ensemble (as an example), to allow a wider audience of the public to be served, then that would seem to be a good thing. not so much if that hierarchy of spending is not objectively formulated

and altho i remain highly critical of the actions of the park & rec staff's response to this incident, one of the factors that could have driven their weak decisions was that potential litigation might absorb limited monies which would have to be dedicated to the legal battle should it evolve

Click to expand...

Honestly, what the public wants should not matter in a high school situation. What is important is that the students have a well-rounded education. I'm not going to say that having a winning sports team is terrible because of course it's not. Everyone wants to go to a school where they have a winning team. It helps the school, and it helps the community. But it is not the most important thing, and it should not drive what the students take in school. Students need options, and sometimes those options are stripped in favor of funneling more money into the sports programs.

Superfly said:

Honestly, what the public wants should not matter in a high school situation. What is important is that the students have a well-rounded education. I'm not going to say that having a winning sports team is terrible because of course it's not. Everyone wants to go to a school where they have a winning team. It helps the school, and it helps the community. But it is not the most important thing, and it should not drive what the students take in school. Students need options, and sometimes those options are stripped in favor of funneling more money into the sports programs.

Click to expand...

then it would seem your complaint is that sports are over-funded relative to the other extra-curricular activities
not that long ago, there was a similar complaint that male dominated sports received a disproportionate share of the available budget compared to activities in which female students participated
and that was found to be a legitimate complaint, causing funding for sports activities for female students to be better funded. this was usually at the expense of male student dominated sports
so, it would seem that same court system that effected that significant change is available to respond to your charge. is there enough interest to proceed with the case? or is the objection held by too few to warrant proceeding with similar litigation?

justabubba said:

then it would seem your complaint is that sports are over-funded relative to the other extra-curricular activities
not that long ago, there was a similar complaint that male dominated sports received a disproportionate share of the available budget compared to activities in which female students participated
and that was found to be a legitimate complaint, causing funding for sports activities for female students to be better funded. this was usually at the expense of male student dominated sports
so, it would seem that same court system that effected that significant change is available to respond to your charge. is there enough interest to proceed with the case? or is the objection held by too few to warrant proceeding with similar litigation?

Click to expand...

No, unfortunately not. People would rather sit at a football game than support arts-related extracurricular activities at school.

That is unfortunate for the students. Music and arts programs are shown to have happier students, who stay out of trouble more often, who have a higher graduation percentage, who are less likely to abuse drugs and alcohol, who perform better academically and have consistently higher test scores, than those who are not involved in music or arts programs.



The Benefits of Music Education . Music & Arts . Education | PBS Parents

Why Arts Education Is Crucial, and Who's Doing It Best | Edutopia

https://www.dosomething.org/facts/11-facts-about-music-education

Superfly said:

No, unfortunately not. People would rather sit at a football game than support arts-related extracurricular activities at school.

[/url]

Click to expand...

The people sitting at these games are paying money to get in, and spending money while their. They make donations for the sports programs ect. This is the reason why they are better funded. They make the school money. And some of that money goes to some of these other departments. In addition to that you have more kids at the school who want to play football, who want to watch football than go to an art gallery. Sports draw more interest.

I am not saying what you are saying isn't true, or that the above is the right way for it to be done, but I am pretty sure that those are the reasons why sports get more money.

Mason66 said:

With all that said, revenge is a dish best served cold.

Click to expand...

any update on this? have you sold the story to any major networks? can we expect a reality show or sitcom based on your life any time soon? /thiscouldbetelevisiongold