I've had one problem like this over the years. I didn't get that sangha was calling me the bad guy, but I could not win this fight. Priority is having a fun baseball season where these kids leave knowing how to catch and throw. Which at 4-5 years old is really hard for them to do. I could give up, pass the kids and problems to the next parent on the team and keep some pride. Or swallow my pride and do what is best for all. I don't want to be let go for perceived bigotry, the city doesn't want to deal with this type of thing, and the kids deserve a good coach (little ego there). The other parents don't have a problem with me. Just one. And the city cannot tell a woman to kick rocks who complained that a coach was intolerant of her sexuality. The winner is this isn't really this woman, it will be these kids and want to be there to be sure it does. I'll be able to better protect myself if a future incident occurs.
Just to add, I do appreciate what you are saying, and I did get kicked last night, but after calming down I don't think the city had a choice.
In the end, I was asked to apologize and promise to be more attentive of the sensitive issue. Which it took everything in me to do. It really did. She also got a refund and her child will be playing for free, and also will be allowed to play basketball for free when that starts. Her child is back on my team, and she is going to be my assistant coach to ensure he child gets fair playing time. Which I don't get since all children play the field, there are no reserves.
The nomenclature keeps changing. When I was younger gay women were either 'gay' or 'lesbian'. It didn't matter which one, and nobody cared which one. Now they're just 'lesbian', and anything else is a social faux pas.
Gay men, however, are still 'gay'.
I've had one problem like this over the years. I didn't get that sangha was calling me the bad guy, but I could not win this fight. Priority is having a fun baseball season where these kids leave knowing how to catch and throw. Which at 4-5 years old is really hard for them to do. I could give up, pass the kids and problems to the next parent on the team and keep some pride. Or swallow my pride and do what is best for all. I don't want to be let go for perceived bigotry, the city doesn't want to deal with this type of thing, and the kids deserve a good coach (little ego there). The other parents don't have a problem with me. Just one. And the city cannot tell a woman to kick rocks who complained that a coach was intolerant of her sexuality. The winner is this isn't really this woman, it will be these kids and want to be there to be sure it does. I'll be able to better protect myself if a future incident occurs.
Just to add, I do appreciate what you are saying, and I did get kicked last night, but after calming down I don't think the city had a choice.
I dont disagree, but I am worried that this is going to turn into something that gets me pulled from coaching while they look into or whatever they do. Especially since i have to meet with the city's hr rep. Its bothering the **** out of me since i got the call.
No. We live in a really rural area and New Zealand is not funded half as well as the USA is for sports. I generally keep time myself but just forgot that time...
Of course not. I was talking about the adminstrations' POV.
As I said, you can be right, or you cann be smart. For some people, protecting their rightousness is the most important thing.
The rest of us live in the real world.
Yeah that's true. Here in the states, all sorts of programs get cut - mostly music and the arts - to fund the sports programs. Get a winning team and it gets even worse.
It is smart to make sure this woman can't spoil anyone else's fun.
And losing his coaching job would make it impossible for him to do that
Of course not. I was talking about the adminstrations' POV.
As I said, you can be right, or you cann be smart. For some people, protecting their rightousness is the most important thing.
The rest of us live in the real world.
I've had one problem like this over the years. I didn't get that sangha was calling me the bad guy, but I could not win this fight. Priority is having a fun baseball season where these kids leave knowing how to catch and throw. Which at 4-5 years old is really hard for them to do. I could give up, pass the kids and problems to the next parent on the team and keep some pride. Or swallow my pride and do what is best for all. I don't want to be let go for perceived bigotry, the city doesn't want to deal with this type of thing, and the kids deserve a good coach (little ego there). The other parents don't have a problem with me. Just one. And the city cannot tell a woman to kick rocks who complained that a coach was intolerant of her sexuality. The winner is this isn't really this woman, it will be these kids and want to be there to be sure it does. I'll be able to better protect myself if a future incident occurs.
Just to add, I do appreciate what you are saying, and I did get kicked last night, but after calming down I don't think the city had a choice.
He was clearly in the wrong at every turn. He apologized so clearly that is the case. You're just happy he mollified some people on the political left, quite frankly. Had it been some Christian parent upset about something, you'd have a completely different take. Well, I'm sure he'll roll over every single time now, which is your advice to him not surprisingly. Certainly wouldn't want him standing up for himself. That would make him the bad guy in the wrong.
Like I say, had this been about a Christian parent, you'd be posting something very different. You certainly wouldn't be saying what a great guy he is that he he tucked tail for the sake of getting along. What he's going to find is that people like you don't really have respect for him. You know he'll back down when pushed and you want to encourage that. Certainly you'd never back him up should ever decide not to apologize and walk on egg shells. Like I said, it's all hypothetical anyway. That'll never actually happen so you've trained him well.
Your take is as perceptive as it usually is.
I coach for the city here where i live. Varying sports for ages 4-13 depending on where they need help coaching. For baseball this year one of my teams is a 4-5 year old t ball team. We had our first practice last night and two women came with a little girl. I introduced myself and said hi and they immediately went on a little speech about how they are together, they are lesbians, they are raising this girl together, nothing wrong with that. Then go into whats going to happen if I discriminate against their daughter because of their sexuality, threatening lawsuits and explaining that there are laws ect. I told them I was there to teach their daughter softball, and their sexual orientation was not a factor at all and moved along. As I am meeting other parents a few of them commented that this lady had approached them and gave them a similar speech out of nowhere. After all the kids were there I gathered the kids together and started off having the kids introduce themselves to their teammates. No additional information really, just kid would say my name is Earl. And everyone would say Hi Earl to start to learn teammates names. When the little girl told everyone her name, again the lady popped into action giving her speech to everyone out there. I stopped her after about a minute and spoke to her privately, or as privately as I could on a baseball field, and let her know that it is not appropriate to interrupt a team activity like that, and again told her noone is going to be discriminating against her daughter. So today I get a call from the city letting me know she filed a complaint and is taking her child off of my team because I told her she had to hide her sexuality at our practices so it wouldn't bother other parents. I dont recall my exact wording but it was not mean, the word hiding or even sexuality didnt come out of my mouth. I only asked her not to interrupt our practices and tried to assure he that I don't care what her sexual preference is, I am there to teach baseball and the other parents are only there to watch.
Was I wrong to ask her to stop what she was doing?
Your take is as perceptive as it usually is.
The city had a choice. They can choose to enable and encourage bad behavior because it is easier for them, or not.
Part of children's teams sports is supposed to be the lesson that doing what is right is often hard. We expect our leaders to be able to understand the same.
What would be the reaction of the other parents if you get fired?
And losing his coaching job would make it impossible for him to do that
You said it yourself, had he not apologized, you would have viewed him as being part of the problem
He wouldn't lose it if he took notes and made sure he was prepared to deal with the woman.
I was in school with mostly white people. We had a black family came and the 3 boys were great athletes. Their mom pulled the race card and all that on the school. It got ridiculous. It didn't stop there though. When the school caved she started walking on the court in the middle of game to tell at refs.
Problem parents have to be treated like spoiled toddlers. If you give them an inch they will take a mile. Being proactive is important. You do that by taking notes and all that. But you also have to be mentally prepared. You have to know they will become a problem again.
And if the objective is for the kids to have a good time...that won't happen with a bitch trying to control everything.
Your take is as perceptive as it usually is.
It's not a matter of one being in the so-called "real world". It's a matter of the importance of a given issue to the individual. Even with the same person, they may stand on principle over one thing because that particular thing is important to them, but let another slide because that one is not.Of course not. I was talking about the adminstrations' POV.
As I said, you can be right, or you cann be smart. For some people, protecting their rightousness is the most important thing.
The rest of us live in the real world.
The OP said that the lady didn't really "win" this but I guarantee you, she thinks she did. Now she's got an apology and an admission that he was the one in the wrong. This'll just encourage her.
Bingo. She'll read it as a win. And she will be emboldened for the next time... and there will be a next time.The OP said that the lady didn't really "win" this but I guarantee you, she thinks she did. Now she's got an apology and an admission that he was the one in the wrong. This'll just encourage her.
It's not a matter of one being in the so-called "real world". It's a matter of the importance of a given issue to the individual. Even with the same person, they may stand on principle over one thing because that particular thing is important to them, but let another slide because that one is not.
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