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wanna give me some life changing advice opinion

K

keylo

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my life sucks, i hate my life right now. what can i do to change it.

i spend my time reading forum, that is the only thing that i seen to enjoy lately maybe because, i dont have nothing much better to do with my time. the forum i visit is music and i check some politics forum. and this is one that stoop out for me.


i really sign in to get some advice about my life in general, i was going to said a little bit more about who i am and where i am coming from with this thread. but, right now i am too embarrased and will just said. that my life sucks, i feel like a loser, and my self esteem is way down. i dont know where to get any help

would it be fair to talk about meself and see you guys give me some honest advice and show some sympathy
 
If you want to talk PM me.
 

If you are looking for some hard-hitting advice from many different perspectives, this is the place to come. If you can overlook those few jerks who will post, this is the place to come. If you're looking for undeserved sympathy, this definitely isn't the place to come.

Welcome! And have at it!
 
How old are you?
How's your basic overall health?
What country do you live in?

List a few of the biggest hurdles you feel are blocking your own personal happiness.

You don't have to get super specific, but the more details you care to give the better advice people here might be able to give.
 

You sir, possess the most powerful force in existence. With this tool, you are capable of altering reality, enacting changes virtually everywhere...and becoming anything you desire.

The Human Mind is awesome...control it and you are a god.
 
keylo said:
my life sucks, i hate my life right now. what can i do to change it.
Click to expand...

First off, it would be helpful to know why it sucks, and what you are willing to do about it. Is it something that you indeed have control over, or is it circumstances beyond your control?
 
It's going to be hard for anyone to give "life changing advise" if no one knows anything about where you are at now.
 
Do some volunteer work. It will help keep you from dwelling on your problems. Helping others is rewarding, a great way to meet new people, and network for better opportunities.
 
my advice assumes you are of the age of emancipation!

in a safe environment, where there is one or more people you enjoy being with, drop some good acid. have some favorite music to play, plenty of whatever you enjoy drinking in the fridge, and whatever you like to smoke (NOT METH), readily available. and make sure you are looking forward to the experience; if you do not, do not proceed. if you do not have a full day for this episode of your life, do not drop that acid
i realize such advice is definitely not mainstream. had steve jobs not also revealed that he found taking LSD to be a spiritual experience, and one of the more profound of his life, i might have remained silent. but my own initial experimentation was life changing. eye opening. i came out of that trip seeing the world in a very different way. until then, while i was very high achieving, i hated my life. and that changed immediately. while i will never know, i do suspect i would not be here today but for that experience

more conventional advice, and something you should pursue before (instead of?) adopting my above recommendation, is to contact your local social services agency and find out what counseling services are available. you need someone who is trained to help folks who are needing to better understand what they are felling and why. and more importantly, how to allow you to feel better
you are reaching out to us, which indicates you are receptive to some life coaching. seek that out from a local counselor who is trained in the appropriate ways to offer such help

and if you are like many of my friends who needed such counseling, you will pursue a curriculum to receive a degree in psychology. that is time consuming, fairly expensive, and from my observation, of little real help
 

I don't need to know anything about you...what your life is like...why it sucks. I have your solution right here:


Spend a little money...if you don't already have the gear...and go fishing.

Now, don't jump to conclusions...I'm being quite serious here.

When you go fishing, find the most isolated, out-of-the-way place you can find within driving distance. If you are at a lake and you see another person...move to the OTHER side of the lake. If you go to a river and see another person...move on. Upstream or downstream...it doesn't matter. Don't go for that bait-dunking crap, either...that's for the lazy and the kids. Limit yourself to flies and/or lures...only. Don't keep any fish...unless you intend to eat it on the spot. Return all that you catch to the water in such a condition that it'll live on to be caught another day...or it'll successfully avoid being caught. Immerse yourself in the challenge of outsmarting, hooking and landing the toughest, smartest fish you can find. Stay out overnight, if you can.

The benefits:

1. You'll get out of the house...away from your computer. This, right here, is the single, greatest benefit. Exercise and fresh air will do wonders for you physically and mentally. Cutting the umbilical cord to your computer will free you to think for...and about...yourself.

2. If, and when, you succeed in landing that elusive fish, you'll receive such a boost to your self-esteem that you'll realize you can do anything you set your mind to.

3. Releasing the fish will reinforce your basic attitude about fairness and compassion for another creature (all people have this attitude...it's driven out of some by their environment). It'll teach you the meaning of honor, as well. When you release the fish to live on another day, you honor it's life...and yours.

4. Your thoughts will invariably touch upon your personal problems...but you'll find that, without distractions, you'll be able to focus on exactly WHAT your problems are and you'll be more likely to think of suitable solutions. Conversely, you'll also think about the good things in your life. Cherish them.


That's it, keylo...go fishing.
 
ok, here it goes

first of thanks everyone for yours quick response

ok, let me talk a little be more about me. i was brought here when i was 13 by my brother because, he thought i was giving her too much trouble. i live with him for the first 4 or 3 years. them i move out and i have been on my on since 16. i hate the time i was i his house because, i felt like a burden plus his girl would allow me to bring any friends or have any of my friends to call me at the house. plus, it reminded me all the time my mother told me that everything we were enjoying was because my brother. so, as soon as i could i move out and life on my on. i never let high school though and i kind of hope to make it so, i can better my self too so, it let to a disappointment that i couldnt go all the way till college. all the while i knew i couldnt go to college but, that didnt stop me from finishing high school. so, you could said that this is one reason for me to be a little be disappointed because i really wanted to go to college.

when i was 18 i had to move back we my brother for a little while because, i didnt have a job. one day we got into a fight and i wanted to take my life i basicly wanted to take my life. and while i was thinking about it. i thought what have you always wanted to be that you always love so, i said to myself i love music why not use your time to do something good with it instead of taking your on life. so, i get my mind into it. about 19 i was reading a bunch of magazine about recording and music production them i end up in the interweb reading forum. building a small home set up recording some and playing some music. all while managing tire shop own by an uncle of my. i started with a 40 hour a week job there so it is no bad. that let me to am lot of free time to play we my music.

problem comes when my uncle get deported i was the only relatives to take care of the business. so , i take care of it. i go from working 40 to about 77 hour a week. this is a businness we only about three running. so, it is still growing. my brother buy it from my uncle and flew the country. i need the job they need me too. but, i am doing much more work and multy tasking myself like crazy. while getting the same paid check. i tell them that i need a rise they dont want to. while growing i tell them i need a secretary and more employed. i work with three people including me until about a year ago. putting a lot of effort because i need my job and my family benefit from it. when i really need it about 6. my stress level were crazy. understand that i really dont want to do this for ever. this is just something i need for now. a men got to eat. they want me to stay here.

because all the hours i do i can mess to much we my music. but, i still try to. i use all the rest of my time learning about recording and playing. so, i neglect my friends isolate myself and have become a pretty lonely guy. while, i work i try very hard to make some music because i feel that is my way out. and, i get upset with doing something we my life meaning full. so, i dont give a cent about hanging out and partying and all that.

them i meet this girl and we were doing great she move in everything started going south we brake up. and here i am complaining.

another thing is my job is very stressfull dealing we people is no easy.

another thing that freak me out is my family so i am always in state of panic especially that i havent make any good financial desicions. like now, i tell my mom that i want to leave i really want to but, all she said to me is that is no good there that. that there is no job. and my brother tell me the samething plus, that i dont got anything that i should go there like that. that is part of what is bothering me.
 
the biggest thing right now is, after i broke we my girl i got more mess up than ever i dont care for anything no my music. i have a drive and will to be somebody but, i have started to think that maybe i have too much of high of hope... that all this stress have been brougt by my own self trying to get somewhere instead of enjoynig whatever little i have and forget the biggest stuff. like my family they tell me all the time that i should start a family but, i really dont wanted that because i dont want to have a kid in the condition that i am now. i always thought i should take care of financial or better said do something for my self of which i can be proud of. but, i dont know anything anymore or what i want.

health is good
 
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Okay....best I can do:

First off....welcome to America, and though this is far from a perfect place it's pretty damn cool comparatively. Secondly, your little sob story (as stated) is not all that bad, and in fact pretty much average for a mid twenties guy who stepped into reality before ready (guessing at the age based on your story). Thirdly, You have a Job, your health, and family...wipe your damn snot on your sleeve and man up. Fourth...Women will drive you nuts for years, get used to it, if you are unable to deal with them now...you have very little chance going forward.

And lastly...Hobbies are just that, distractions that create joy....a bonus if you will, they do not play into the things that we "Deserve" but must be earned.
 

Volunteer at a homeless shelter, or cancer clinic,maybe working around people who are way worse off than you are will change your perspective. You could get a job or a 2nd job if you already have a job to kill some time and take your mind off your problems.

You could also take up a hobby like origami or papercraft.
Paperkraft.net - Free Papercraft, Paper Model, & Papertoy
Origami: Diagrams
/po/ - Papercraft & Origami
 
Hey dude, as a person who regularly struggles with depression, I can say that for myself, the one thing that ALWAYS helps is exercise. Get a bike and ride it hard through your neighborhood or a local park. Or maybe go for a run.

It won't solve ANY of your real problems, but it can help you to gain perspective on which of your problems are, in fact, real. Often times people get caught up in bad habits of thinking that the world IS one way and that that one way sucks. Going for a run or a hard ride loosens up your mind and can help you see that there are always many different ways of looking at the world and that not all of them suck.

Having a relaxed mind can help you to sort out your real problems from your fake, imagined, problems. On top of that, staying physically active helps to keep your mind alert enough to actually deal with your real problems effectively.

At the end of the day, no amount of good advice will take the place of maximizing your own potential both physically and mentally. Get in the habit of exercising both your body and your mind, and just think of that exercise as preparation for life's problems. No problem is too big to handle if you are well-prepared. Having a strong body and strong mind is the best thing you can do for yourself. Once you develop those habits of self-care, everything else will fall into place.

[and by "fall into place," I don't mean that your problems will miraculously disappear, I mean that you will be able to meet those problems head-on, no matter what they may be.]
 
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Seek out a counselor/doctor you can speak to in person. Exercise is a great suggestion. A new hobby is too. But you may need to actually reach out to another person and one who is trained to help other people work through troubling situations. It's nothing to be ashamed of and might be a life altering decision that pays off in huge dividends.

Nobody should ever feel embarrassed about asking for help if they need it. And most people do at some point in their lives.
 
....Oh....and do whatever it takes to make yourself LOOK good, confidence is a wonderful anti-depressant.
 

yeah i know it just the my topic maybe is too much but, i have always wanted to put this out there. so, it is a bit of a release.
 
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sell everything you own
move out of your home
go into the world to "seek your fortune"
 
keylo said:
yeah i know it just the my topic maybe is too much but, i have always wanted to put this out there. so, it is a bit of a release.
Click to expand...

You're topic can't be even close to too much for a professional. Plenty of people have been through much worse than you. Most people have some very difficult times in their lives.

My father committed suicide when I was 17 years old. During the following 3 years I also lost two grandparents, my pet dog and my pet cat. It was a rough couple of years to say the least.

My wife was basically abandoned by her parents when she was a very young teenager and spent years in foster homes before finally landing in an aunts care. During that time her mother attempted but never accomplished the task of committing suicide at least 3 times. Her mother has MS and had lost the function of her legs and was suffering very deep depression due to her sickness and divorce from a cheating abusive husband.

My sister-in-law was raped around 12 or 13 years old.

Most people have lots of sh!t they have to deal with in their lives. A professional has heard it all and then some.

Use them if you need to and get the chance. Your situation, no matter how complex or difficult to explain can't be any worse than what many other people have had to deal with.
 
Thanks for posting keylo. I suggest you speak with someone face to face. let them get to know you. If money is a problem, you can always go to many agencies that will allow you to "pay" on a sliding scale. Using the internet is a great vehicle for some quick answers, but, for the long run, having a person you can get comfortable with do you wonders. Life challenges such as you mention can be overcome with patience, tolerance and the right people behind you.

I do not know where you are located, but, type in "social services" in your search engine and you should find a host of places to go in your area.
 

Happiness is a choice.

When it comes to happiness, I think a lot of people feel sad about their lot in life because they try to compare it with other people. We always see on television people hanging out with others and smiling and well dressed with a bunch of friends.

You know what we hardly ever see on television ads or on Facebook photos of our friends?

We don't see them arguing with each other really stupid ****. We don't see them wondering how they're going to pay off their credit card bill when they buy stupid plastic crap they don't need. We don't see them sobbing because a loved one of theirs died. We don't see them drinking because their boss is a ****ing asshole and they have trouble coping with their job.

Now I know that life may not be easy for you right now, and I'm sure you have your own problems that are serious to you and that you're trying to deal with.

But it's also important to remember that you are not alone in this world. We all have our struggles to get through, and we get through them every day.

So you're not alone. And because you're not alone there are people you can go to to help you with your situations.

And despite all the crap, there's still too much good in this world to let it bring you down that much. And you shouldn't forget those things that bring you joy.

And if you run out of things that bring you joy then find new things that do.

When I was a teenager I was all into comic books. I cannot tell you how much money I spent on them, and how big my collection truly is.

But after 15 years of that I've had enough. They don't bring me joy anymore, and for a variety of reasons.

But that doesn't mean I'm without joy. It means I find new things that bring me joy.

Right now, I'm into podcasts. I download SO many in a day. In the 6 months I've been downloading them, I've got over 5,000 individual files saved on my computer.

One day I'm sure I will get tired of podcasts, and when I do I'll find something else to be excited about.

So don't sweat it. Just take care of yourself. And when you're able to do that take care of your family. And after that your friends. Then others.

So don't get too down about things. It's a big world out there, and there's always lots more to find out about it.
 

Have you thought about learning what it takes to start your own business here in the U.S. and doing business for yourself?
 
First, stay on this forum and improve your English.

Next, start saving your money so you have some cash in the bank.

After that, start trying for a different job. You're working with family. Family who needs you will take advantage of you and are not looking out for your best interests. Period.
 

yeah, i do know tha.t the thing is i saw my hobby as a way out i really though that i was going to make it. i put so much effort in it and i neglected everything else and everyone around me. now, i have look and though about it i was always miserable cause i have a job that required much of my time and i hate that i could not get more time to do what i really like. sometimes i think that i was living in a fantasy world.

so, i guess i am steping into reality.

the only thing that i hate about me know is that my self esteem have gone down, i have a good drive motivation and ambition. to go forward that i just thing i should be happy with what i have and do with what is available.
 
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