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True stories

Schweddy

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There is a new position coming up for our team at work. More pay (potentially) and better hours. This was during an interview with the boss.

Setup: I had a cold. Coughing up a storm. Boss came over (1 day before interview) just to say HI and show her presence. When she walked up, I had to cough up a lung so I meant to turn around but slammed into some cabinets. *OUCH*

Next day: The Interview.

I walked up to the conference room and she was on the phone. I elected to give her some privacy even though I didn't understand what she was saying. After a few steps, she wasn't on the phone anymore so sicko here headed back.

I walked into the room and started to sit down. Had to cough - so I turned around and slammed into the open door. *OUCH*

My response:
"I get so nervous around you when I am standing and turn my head and cough."

OMG!! Did I just say that to my lady boss!?
 

aps

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vauge said:
There is a new position coming up for our team at work. More pay (potentially) and better hours. This was during an interview with the boss.

Setup: I had a cold. Coughing up a storm. Boss came over (1 day before interview) just to say HI and show her presence. When she walked up, I had to cough up a lung so I meant to turn around but slammed into some cabinets. *OUCH*

Next day: The Interview.

I walked up to the conference room and she was on the phone. I elected to give her some privacy even though I didn't understand what she was saying. After a few steps, she wasn't on the phone anymore so sicko here headed back.

I walked into the room and started to sit down. Had to cough - so I turned around and slammed into the open door. *OUCH*

My response:
"I get so nervous around you when I am standing and turn my head and cough."

OMG!! Did I just say that to my lady boss!?
Great story! What was her reaction? Did she laugh?

When will you find out if you got the job?
 

Schweddy

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aps said:
Great story! What was her reaction? Did she laugh?

When will you find out if you got the job?
She was shocked, of course I didn't mean it the way it sounded.
But, throughout the rest of the interview we both just smiled and almost giggled.

I should find out if I get the job this week.

galenrox said:
Once in manufacturing class in high school we were working on building battle bots, so my team was welding a grill of nails on a remote control car, and I was holding the grill. I was wearing a sweater at the time. It doesn't take a genius to figure out that a sweater, inches from a white hot flame that could potentially blind someone looking at it, is going to burst into flame. Here's the kicker though, after the fire went out, my teacher, who had apparently been watching this on his own video monitering system from his office, came down and laughed at me. When I asked him if I should go to the nurse, he laughed and told me that I should stop being such a ***** and that the other students can smell weakness, dead seriously.
Dude! Where you actually burned or just your sweater?
 

Kelzie

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galenrox said:
I had something like a sunburn on my neck, and my neck hairs and the low hairs on my head got burnt, but mainly just the sweater.
*****. I can smell the weakness from here.



I served John Kerry. In his bath robe.
 

Kelzie

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galenrox said:
lol, I'll bet you did:2razz:
What'd the katchup lady have to say about that?
I did! It was when he came to give a speech in Minneapolis. He had escargot, if you wanted to know.

What ketchup lady?
 

Kelzie

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galenrox said:
obviously you missed what I was trying to imply (you servicing John Kerry, i.e. something that happens in pornography), and by katchup lady I was refering to his wife.
Oh. Yeah, very clever. You did a good job with that.:applaud
 

alphieb

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My husband has a friend that weighs over 300 lbs. He drinks like a fish and can put down a case of beer alone. One night he was at the house staggering around drunk. Next thing we know, he went completely through the floor and was cussing up a storm. We just sat there in disbelief trying not to laugh. He couldn't even get up. Granted, it was in front of some french doors with water and termite damage.

This was when we were dating and they were roommates at the time. That same night he fell down and broke his inn table, the next morning when he got up he said "who in the hell broke my table".
 

Schweddy

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alphieb said:
My husband has a friend that weighs over 300 lbs. He drinks like a fish and can put down a case of beer alone. One night he was at the house staggering around drunk. Next thing we know, he went completely through the floor and was cussing up a storm. We just sat there in disbelief trying not to laugh. He couldn't even get up. Granted, it was in front of some french doors with water and termite damage.

This was when we were dating and they were roommates at the time. That same night he fell down and broke his inn table, the next morning when he got up he said "who in the hell broke my table".
OMG! That is too funny.

How long did you let him stay "in the floor" before you guys picked him up?
 

alphieb

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vauge said:
OMG! That is too funny.

How long did you let him stay "in the floor" before you guys picked him up?
Oh, a few minutes after the shock wore off.

Also, unfortunately my husband has a son who is schizophrenic. One night during his psychosis he was barking at the moon. This guy (the one that fell through the floor) went outside and started barking with him.
 

mixedmedia

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We always tease my boss for having hair like Dilbert's boss (see picture) and really, the similarity is very striking. One day, sitting around after having b-day cake for me & my boss (we share a birthday), he was talking about this screwball woman who used to work here. We were all laughing, he tells a really good story - much better than I do. But for his birthday one year she got him a card that was a picture of a bald man with a naked woman posed spread eagle over his head with her, ehem, bush placed so that it looked like his hair. Oh man, just picturing him opening this card and the way he said it I was laughing so hard, but then one of my co-workers said "it must have been a really old picture," referring to the fact that when you see naked women these days, more often than not they are, you know, shaved down there. I thought I was gonna lose my mind. I like working here.
 

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Schweddy

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Haha... classic!
 

mixedmedia

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galenrox said:
alright, so right out of high school I got an apartment with my buddy Luke right off the beach. A few days after we moved in I was in my room watching TV, and I heard Luke come in, so I turned and looked, and he had a seagull in his arms, and he was petting it like a cat. It wasn't flying away, so I was confused and asked if it was dead or not. It turned out it was indeed dead, so we stuck it in the freezer. That night we played croquet with the frozen seagull.
A week or so later one of our friends who was always there got the bright idea to thaw out the seagull, then freeze it with its wings outstretched. And thus how indoor frozen seagull croquet mallet baseball was invented!
I've read that David Lynch used to pick up roadkill, freeze it, then cut it up into pieces and give it to friends as a gift - as a puzzle. Never found out if that was actually true or not.
 
T

The Real McCoy

Speaking of ketchup... One time during lunch when I was in 8th grade, I placed a twisted up a ketchup packet under the leg of a chair at the table adjacent to mine. When a kid sat down in the chair, the packet burst and ketchup shot across the floor just as a girl was walking down the aisle carrying her lunch. She freaked and dropped her tray all over the place and I couldn't help from bursting out laughing. I got caught and sent to the office but it was beyond worth it.
 

Schweddy

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The Real McCoy said:
Speaking of ketchup... One time during lunch when I was in 8th grade, I placed a twisted up a ketchup packet under the leg of a chair at the table adjacent to mine. When a kid sat down in the chair, the packet burst and ketchup shot across the floor just as a girl was walking down the aisle carrying her lunch. She freaked and dropped her tray all over the place and I couldn't help from bursting out laughing. I got caught and sent to the office but it was beyond worth it.
haha - that is funny right there, don't care who yah are.
 
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