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To Roast a Conservative

Wake

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There's a lot of stupid comments out there, people.

Not all conservatives say silly things, but this thread focuses solely on silly comments by our conservative friends.

I'll start:

"I couldn't imagine somebody like Osama bin Laden understanding the joy of Chanukah." — President George W. Bush

Here's the link to the sister thread on liberals: http://www.debatepolitics.com/general-political-discussion/150884-roast-liberal.html
 
"I hope I stand for antibigotry, anti-Semitism, antiracism. This is what drives me." George Bush Sr., in 1988
 
 
George Bush Sr. again.

"It has been said by some cynic, maybe it was a former president, 'If you want a friend in Washington, get a dog.' Well, we took them literally — that advice — as you know. But I didn't need that because I have Barbara Bush." —in 1989
 
When it comes to Conservative craziness, whackiness and insanity.

You need only look to Brian Fischer.


I would hope most conservatives would disown this whacko.


And not to make the thread too political but there is where the Republican party has been faltering over the last decade because it's very difficult for reasonable conservatives who have the quite valid viewpoint that government should be limited and that getting everything fiscally sound should be priority #1 trying to share the same room with people like Brian Fischer and his ilk that are bat**** insane.
 
I normally don't try to partake is such hackish posts, but I'll allow myself a moment of humor:

“[Gay marriage] is an issue just like 9-11... We didn't decide we wanted to fight the war on terrorism because we wanted to. It was brought to us. And if not now, when? When the supreme courts in all the other states have succumbed to the Massachusetts version of the law?” –Rick Santorum, interview with the Allentown Morning Call (February 2004)
 

*sigh* It would have been nice to just keep this funny thread rather than another damned lecture for conservatives.
 
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''We need to uptick our image with everyone, including one-armed midgets." ~ Republican National Committee Chairman Michael Steele.
 
"Carbon dioxide is portrayed as harmful. But there isn't even one study that can be produced that shows that carbon dioxide is a harmful gas.'' ~ Rep. Michelle Bachmann
 
rocket88 said:
"Legitimate rape."
Click to expand...

The trouble with examples like that is that they're not really silly, they're terrifying. Along with the times when they came out again science, math, and facts...

But that leads us to a good one. "Is our children learning?"
 
"We will never have the media on our side, ever, in this country...We will never have the elite, smart people on our side, because they believe they should have the power to tell you what to do." Rick Santorum
 
"The aide said that guys like me were "in what we call the reality-based community," which he defined as people who "believe that solutions emerge from your judicious study of discernible reality." ... "That's not the way the world really works anymore," he continued. "We're an empire now, and when we act, we create our own reality...."
October 17, 2004, The New York Times Magazine article by writer Ron Suskind, quoting an unnamed aide to George W. Bush (later attributed to Karl Rove)
 
Liberals will typically come out on the short end of the stick when comparing who says stuff worthy of ridicule, although Sarah Palin probably set off a trend that will have the Republicans looking worse in this category for a long time to come.

The problem with Conservatives is that they routinely say things that are downright creepy, insane and psychopathic. They come across as the kind of creatures you don't want to run into in broad daylight, much less at night.
 
So lemme guess, since no one has brought up Sarah Palin, are the rules that we shouldn't bring her up because it presents an unfair advantage?
 
"...it's hard to put food on your family."

 
"You bet I cut the taxes at the top. That encourages entrepreneurship. What we Republicans should stand for is growth in the economy. We ought to make the pie higher."

Explaining "GOP Pie Theory" in a South Carolina Republican Debate with John McCain and Alan Keyes, Columbia, South Carolina, Feb. 15, 2000
 
Conservatives tend to have more body fat, so some trimming of that fat is a good idea, as well as cooking at a lower heat.
Liberals tend to have less body fat, so little that you may have to add some before cooking.

Both tend to be full of crap...
 
Why would you roast a conservative, the taste is foul.
 
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