Things Found Only In America

[Trinity]

1. Only in America......can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.
2. Only in America......are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink.
3. Only in America......do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.
4. Only in America......do people order double cheese burgers, large fries, and a diet Coke.
5. Only in America......do banks leave both doors to the vault open and then chain the pens to the counters.
6. Only in America......do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.
7. Only in America......do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.
8. Only in America......do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.
9. Only in America......do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'.
10. Only in America......do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.

 

[Thorgasm]

9. Only in America......do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'.

If pro is the opposite of con, then what is the opposite of progress?

 

[1069]

1. Only in America......can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.
2. Only in America......are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink.
3. Only in America......do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.
4. Only in America......do people order double cheese burgers, large fries, and a diet Coke.
5. Only in America......do banks leave both doors to the vault open and then chain the pens to the counters.
6. Only in America......do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.
7. Only in America......do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.
8. Only in America......do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.
9. Only in America......do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'.
10. Only in America......do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.

#2 and #10 are pretty ****ed up and really not very funny, if you ask me.
Why shouldn't handicapped people go to the skating rink, or anywhere else they want to go, and have accessible parking? You do realize that handicapped parking permits are issued not just to the mobility impaired?
They are also issued to people with portable oxygen tanks, to the legally blind, to people with cardiac and lung ailments that make it difficult to walk long distances, and to people with numerous other special needs. Do you think it's ****ing funny that a grandmother with a heart condition might want to take her grandchildren to the ice skating rink? Gee, that doesn't make any sense at all, now does it. :roll: America is so stupid and crazy. Why can't we just be like other, smarter countries and lock those with special needs in a basement, or else euthanize them. :roll:

And why shouldn't blind people use ATMs, even if somebody else has to drive them there? You think they don't use ATMs? You think they want to just give strangers their pin numbers, just because they can't drive cars?

The handicapped are not at your mercy.
Just because they can't do everything you can do, is no reason they shouldn't do everything that they can do.
And they are not a joke, either.

 

[1069]

If pro is the opposite of con, then what is the opposite of progress?

Progressive/ conservative.
That's a no-brainer.

 

[Thorgasm]

Progressive/ conservative.
That's a no-brainer.

For someone who claims to be so smart and a wordsmith, you have completely failed. Try again. Read it very slowly if you have to.

 

[1069]

For someone who claims to be so smart and a wordsmith, you have completely failed. Try again. Read it very slowly if you have to.

I've heard the joke before, IT.
Progress, congress.
It's old (I probably first heard it when Reagan was president), and rather lame.

 

[Thorgasm]

I've heard the joke before, IT.
Progress, congress.
It's old (I probably first heard it when Reagan was president), and rather lame.

Knock knock.

 

[DeeJayH]

Only in America......does 10 come into a light hearted fun thread and try to ruin it with her own attention-whoring :roll:

 

[1069]

Only in America......does 10 come into a light hearted fun thread and try to ruin it with her own attention-whoring :roll:

Sorry; I don't consider mocking the disabled by perpetuating ludicrously insulting myths about them and their limitations to be either "light hearted" or "fun".

Although this is America, and you're free to do it all you want, I am also free to oppose you with facts and realities each and every time you do it.

 

[Lightdemon]

Only in America....Do fat people sue McDonald's for thier eating behavior.

 

[DeeJayH]

Sorry; I don't consider mocking the disabled by perpetuating ludicrously insulting myths about them and their limitations to be either "light hearted" or "fun".

Although this is America, and you're free to do it all you want, I am also free to oppose you with facts and realities each and every time you do it.

:lamo
coming from the broad who mocks other peoples medical problems
:lamo
pathetic
which personality is posting now. do you have a different name?

 

[Thorgasm]

Sorry; I don't consider mocking the disabled by perpetuating ludicrously insulting myths about them and their limitations to be either "light hearted" or "fun".

Although this is America, and you're free to do it all you want, I am also free to oppose you with facts and realities each and every time you do it.

Bumper sticker:

Hire the handicapped, they're fun to watch!

:2razz:

 

[Thorgasm]

Knock knock.

 

[1069]

:lamo
coming from the broad who mocks other peoples medical problems
:lamo
pathetic
which personality is posting now. do you have a different name?

"Mocks other people's medical problems".

Here's the cartoon I posted so long ago, in the joke thread in the basement:

I got it, coincidentally, off a cancer website. It's a cartoon they put on mugs, teeshirts, etc. Contrary to popular belief, the sick and disabled often retain a sense of humor, frequently a fairly morbid one.

After I posted that cartoon, a beloved forum member came forward and said, "That's not funny to me. I had to have a biopsy the other day. I may have colon cancer."

Before he said that in response to the cartoon, nobody- to my knowledge- knew that he was having any sort of medical problem.

Later, he confided in me by PM about what was going on. I was one of- according to him- only three people on the forum that he felt comfortable talking to about it, at least in the early part of it.
As a result of this correspondence, we ended up becoming friends.

Of course, as everyone by now knows, he did in fact have cancer, and has since undergone surgery to remove it.
After his return, he did tell me that he now thinks the cartoon is f'ing hilarious.

You see, there's a difference between this cartoon and the OP's "jokes".
My cartoon implies that people with colostomies can still participate fully in life. They can even be clowns in the circus, if they want to... and play grotesque practical jokes on their friends.

The OP's "jokes" are more like "You know what's really funny? Handicapped parking spots at the circus! hahahaha!!"

The "humor" behind her jokes relies upon the popular assumption that the disabled are not contributing members of or active contributors to society and can not participate in daily life or in normal activities, and that it's therefore humorous when they try to, or when society makes provisions to permit them to.

A lot of jokes are like that.
But, you see, they aren't funny. They're based on a false premise, and they perpetuate a harmful myth.
This thread is ableism at its ugliest.

 

[Thorgasm]

"Mocks other people's medical problems".

Here's the cartoon I posted so long ago, in the joke thread in the basement:

I got it, coincidentally, off a cancer website. It's a cartoon they put on mugs, teeshirts, etc. Contrary to popular belief, the sick and disabled often retain a sense of humor, frequently a fairly morbid one.

After I posted that cartoon, a beloved forum member came forward and said, "That's not funny to me. I had to have a biopsy the other day. I may have colon cancer."

Before he said that in response to the cartoon, nobody- to my knowledge- knew that he was having any sort of medical problem.

Later, he confided in me by PM about what was going on. I was one of- according to him- only three people on the forum that he felt comfortable talking to about it, at least in the early part of it.
As a result of this correspondence, we ended up becoming friends.

Of course, as everyone by now knows, he did in fact have cancer, and has since undergone surgery to remove it.
After his return, he did tell me that he now thinks the cartoon is f'ing hilarious.

You see, there's a difference between this cartoon and the OP's "jokes".
My cartoon implies that people with colostomies can still participate fully in life. They can even be clowns in the circus, if they want to... and play grotesque practical jokes on their friends.

The OP's "jokes" are more like "You know what's really funny? Handicapped parking spots at the circus! hahahaha!!"

The "humor" behind her jokes relies upon the popular assumption that the disabled are not contributing members of or active contributors to society and can not participate in daily life or in normal activities, and that it's therefore humorous when they try to, or when society makes provisions to permit them to.

A lot of jokes are like that.
But, you see, they aren't funny. They're based on a false premise, and they perpetuate a harmful myth.
This thread is ableism at its ugliest.

So much for the Vegas rule. And you know you have made fun of other people's ailments. Yet you want to put limitations on discussing ailments of your own or those that are personal to you.

 

[DeeJayH]

"Mocks other people's medical problems".

Here's the cartoon I posted so long ago, in the joke thread in the basement:

I got it, coincidentally, off a cancer website. It's a cartoon they put on mugs, teeshirts, etc. Contrary to popular belief, the sick and disabled often retain a sense of humor, frequently a fairly morbid one.

After I posted that cartoon, a beloved forum member came forward and said, "That's not funny to me. I had to have a biopsy the other day. I may have colon cancer."

Before he said that in response to the cartoon, nobody- to my knowledge- knew that he was having any sort of medical problem.

Later, he confided in me by PM about what was going on. I was one of- according to him- only three people on the forum that he felt comfortable talking to about it, at least in the early part of it.
As a result of this correspondence, we ended up becoming friends.

Of course, as everyone by now knows, he did in fact have cancer, and has since undergone surgery to remove it.
After his return, he did tell me that he now thinks the cartoon is f'ing hilarious.

You see, there's a difference between this cartoon and the OP's "jokes".
My cartoon implies that people with colostomies can still participate fully in life. They can even be clowns in the circus, if they want to... and play grotesque practical jokes on their friends.

The OP's "jokes" are more like "You know what's really funny? Handicapped parking spots at the circus! hahahaha!!"

The "humor" behind her jokes relies upon the popular assumption that the disabled are not contributing members of or active contributors to society and can not participate in daily life or in normal activities, and that it's therefore humorous when they try to, or when society makes provisions to permit them to.

A lot of jokes are like that.
But, you see, they aren't funny. They're based on a false premise, and they perpetuate a harmful myth.
This thread is ableism at its ugliest.

such a long diatribe, as usual
but i have never seeen that cartoon, nor is it what i was refering to
think back over the last week for one, and just a couple of months for anohter

 

[DeeJayH]

So much for the Vegas rule. And you know you have made fun of other people's ailments. Yet you want to put limitations on discussing ailments of your own or those that are personal to you.

we are probably trying to discuss this with one of her alternate personalities who has no knowledge of these incidents and is therefore innocent :doh

 

[1069]

Deejay, nobody's even bothering with you.
IT, are you seriously trying to assert that you don't see a difference between that cartoon and "Handicapped parking spots at the skating rink! hahahaha! Braille on the ATM machines! hahahahaha!"?

You're smarter than that.
One of these is drawn by a cancer survivor, for other cancer survivors.
The other is able-bodied people mocking the disabled and their alleged incapacity to participate in normal life, for the benefit of other able-bodied people. Even though they merely expose their own ignorance in doing so, because the disabled can do plenty.

The forum member with the colostomy ultimately found this cartoon funny.
Do you think handicapped forum members might ever find the OP funny?

Can you imagine some handicapped members coming by and saying, "Oh, handicapped parking spots at skating rinks? That is hilarious! hahahaha!!"

Can you imagine blind members going, "Braille on ATMs?? What's wrong with this country?? hahahaha!!"

'Cause I can't.

 

[1069]

So much for the Vegas rule. And you know you have made fun of other people's ailments. Yet you want to put limitations on discussing ailments of your own or those that are personal to you.

I haven't got any "ailments"- yet- so none are "personal to me".
It's just that I don't like ableism, any more than racism or sexism.
It's not funny.
I will respond each and every time by pointing out that it's not funny, because it's based on a flawed and fault premise, which is that the handicapped are fundamentally incapable of doing much of anything of value.

 

[Thorgasm]

Deejay, nobody's even bothering with you.
IT, are you seriously trying to assert that you don't see a difference between that cartoon and "Handicapped parking spots at the skating rink! hahahaha! Braille on the ATM machines! hahahahaha!"?

You're smarter than that.
One of these is drawn by a cancer survivor, for other cancer survivors.
The other is able-bodied people mocking the disabled and their alleged incapacity to participate in normal life, for the benefit of other able-bodied people. Even though they merely expose their own ignorance in doing so, because the disabled can do plenty.

The forum member with the colostomy ultimately found this cartoon funny.
Do you think handicapped forum members might ever find the OP funny?

Can you imagine some handicapped members coming by and saying, "Oh, handicapped parking spots at skating rinks? That is hilarious! hahahaha!!"

Can you imagine blind members going, "Braille on ATMs?? What's wrong with this country?? hahahaha!!"

'Cause I can't.

For one thing, if you are going to be PC, it's "handi-capable".

Secondly, you fail to address other illnesses that you have made light of. So this cartoon is irrelevant. Way to cherrypick your behavior.

Third, you fail to address the Vegas rule.

The Braille joke is about the drive up ATMs

Your feigned outrage is duly noted. You should also stop harrassing people in their first post in the "Come in and say Hi" forum. It makes you look like an ass.

 

[Thorgasm]

I haven't got any "ailments"- yet- so none are "personal to me".
It's just that I don't like ableism, any more than racism or sexism.
It's not funny.
I will respond each and every time by pointing out that it's not funny, because it's based on a flawed and fault premise, which is that the handicapped are fundamentally incapable of doing much of anything of value.

Really? What about your women only thread where you were crapping kittens about. What about your family member's ailments? Lucky for you I have more class than you.

 

[1069]

Secondly, you fail to address other illnesses that you have made light of.

What "other illnesses"?

Third, you fail to address the Vegas rule.

I don't know what that is.

The Braille joke is about the drive up ATMs

And? Is it your belief that every blind person lives within walking distance of an ATM?
That the government installs ATMs in their backyards, for convenience?
That they ought to just give their debit card and pin number to the guy across the street, and let him drive to the ATM for them, since they're obviously so profoundly abnormal that it's an outrage for them to leave their homes or appear in public?

Your feigned outrage is duly noted.

Apparently not, since it isn't feigned.
You still don't seem to understand the issue.

You should also stop harrassing people in their first post in the "Come in and say Hi" forum. It makes you look like an ass.

I am not interested in whether or not I offend ableists.
I am hopeful that they'll see the truth of their behavior and modify it, as well as their way of thinking about others.

Really? What about your women only thread where you were crapping kittens about.

I had a benign polyp on my cervix that was causing heavy menstrual bleeding. It was removed on monday, in a five minute procedure, sent to a lab, and confirmed to be benign.
That's not an illness or a disability, unless you consider having a twat to be an illness or a disability.
It's just life, especially as one gets older.
Others chimed in and started discussing their past and present gynecological problems as well, and I made every effort to be supportive to each and every one.

What about your family member's ailments? Lucky for you I have more class than you.

My dad's diabetes?
Has someone made fun of that? If so, I haven't noticed.
He's developing quite a sense of humor about it.
When it first happened, I posted about it only in the Tavern, to have some privacy about it. Bodhi subsequently started talking about it in the basement, not making fun of my dad, I don't think, but claiming that I only made the Tavern thread to "get attention" or something.
This was still only a day or two after the diagnosis; I politely told Bodhi that i didn't want to discuss the issue in the basement, since I had not posted about it publicly. My fear was actually that, in researching his condition, my dad would come across my posts and get angry that I was talking about it. I wanted all references to the situation to be in the private, members-only areas. I now realize that's pretty unlikely (that he would come across it), having researched it myself. There's billions of websites out there with references to the illness.
Not wanting to discuss it outside the locked areas, though, was purely a privacy issue.
It's not that I think my family members are sacred, or that their medical conditions are sacred.

 

[gunner]

Can you imagine some handicapped members coming by and saying, "Oh, handicapped parking spots at skating rinks? That is hilarious! hahahaha!!"

Can you imagine blind members going, "Braille on ATMs?? What's wrong with this country?? hahahaha!!"

'Cause I can't.

I can. After having close contact with my disabled Mother [deceased] one thing she never lost was her "sense of humour" and her ability to mock her own aliments. So I'm pretty sure she would of had a chuckle at the list.

Paul.

 

[1069]

I can. After having close contact with my disabled Mother [deceased] one thing she never lost was her "sense of humour" and her ability to mock her own aliments. So I'm pretty sure she would of had a chuckle at the list.

Paul.

I sincerely doubt it, and since she isn't here to verify or deny that, your opinion on what she would've said is neither here nor there.
There's a difference between laughing at your ailments, and laughing along with non-disabled people as they mock society's efforts to be inclusive of the handicapped.
I do not think that your deceased mother would have found that list funny.

 

[Sergeant Stinger1]

What the hell are handicaped TAGS doing in all these handicap spots?
You look in the handicap spots and you will see BIG ass 4x4's being driven by the 'handicaped'?
I respect people that are really handicaped but not the ass holes that get their doctors to give them a HC card because their ass's ache or because their ass's are too FAT to walk.
-
There are most likely MILLIONS of people that take their Grandmas HH Plate and use it for their own use because they are either too FAT or LAZY to walk a feww steps.
Been there, seen it.
-
Only in America can we find:
1- Coffee milk
2- Weiners.
3- Cotten candy
4- Auful Aufuls
5-People filling their big ass SUV's with $4.00 gas while smiling as if to say, hey, I don't care what it cost. But when the total for the gas comes up they start saying: ****EN ASSHOLE BUSH!
6- Assholes that still stick up for a proven asshole loser like bush while the rest of the world hangs tratiors for screwing their country up!!!
7- Only in America can you see the face of the asshole that drove up the price of gas to 'pay back his big OIL buddys on your gas station fuel pump handle
This is who you see(!!):rofl! Does it look like bush?:rofl
-
-
-
BTW:
Give many so called 'handicaped people' a good kick in the ASS and they will start running better that an Marathon runner.:lol::2razz: