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The Montana Uprising of 2009

hazlnut

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It's early morning on the second day of the uprising. A dozen members of the Montana militia along with several like-minded state policemen have set up a road block on I-15 at the Idaho border. They wave off motorists with ski racks on their SUVs.

There's no word yet from Helena about the response to their Declaration of Succession sent yesterday via fed ex overnight to Obama himself. Someone begins taking up a collection for coffee and donuts when...

From the south, they hear the roar of a military aircraft approaching in the sky. Descending through the clouds, they can make out a single AC-130 gunship. Initially, the men on the ground are in awe of the giant aircraft. Then they realize the 30mm cannons are meant for them and scramble for cover behind their pickup trucks.

While a few of the militia think they have a fighting chance, most begin cursing their friends for dragging them into this lame brain operation.

2 minutes later...

The montana uprising of 2009 has come to an abrupt end... And the Darwin Awards have material for the next 5 years.
 

Wounded Knee is not just for Native Americans anymore.
 
The AC-130 doesn't have a 30mm cannon. Also, who would even notice if Montana left the union? More illegal immigrants cross the border every year than the entire population of the state.
 
rathi said:
The AC-130 doesn't have a 30mm cannon. Also, who would even notice if Montana left the union? More illegal immigrants cross the border every year than the entire population of the state.
Click to expand...

The A-10 does.


And the AC-130 "Gunship" does have plenty of pain depending on configuration, it has...



Armament

AC-130A Project Gunship II
4× 7.62 mm GAU-2/A miniguns
4× 20 mm M61 Vulcan cannon

AC-130A Surprise Package, Pave Pronto, AC-130E Pave Spectre
4× 7.62 mm GAU-2/A miniguns
2× 20 mm M61 Vulcan cannon
2× 40 mm (1.58 in) L/60 Bofors cannon

AC-130E Pave Aegis
2× 20 mm M61 Vulcan cannon
1× 40 mm L60 Bofors cannon
1× 105 mm (4.13 in) M102 howitzer

AC-130H SpectreAC-130H Pave Spectre II
1× 40 mm L60 Bofors cannon
1× 105 mm (4.13 in) M102 howitzer
AC-130U "Spooky" Gunship
1× 25 mm (0.984 in) 5-Barrel GAU-12/U Equalizer Gatling gun
1× 40 mm L60 Bofors cannon
1× 105 mm (4.13 in) M102 howitzer



 
This is probably gonna be a problem for Nickelodeon. They don't really want to see their teeny-bopper stars in these types of situations.

Why would she start an uprising anyway?
 

I don't understand how something that big, slow and expensive can possibly be cost effective.

Couldn't a single 40,000 dollar Stinger (or a 400 dollar Soviet RPG) fired from a donkey cart destroy that million, million dollar flying weapon platform pretty easily?
 
Tucker Case said:
This is probably gonna be a problem for Nickelodeon. They don't really want to see their teeny-bopper stars in these types of situations.

Why would she start an uprising anyway?
Click to expand...

Because god hates the jonas brothers
 
new coup for you said:
but still, if Stingers can shoot down jets I don't see how the Spectre wouldn't be a sitting duck.
Click to expand...

Well its got 4 engines, and can land with only one operating. Also C-130s have a better glide slope than a fighter jet, so even with all the engines cut, there is a slight chance you could land it somewhere, or take it to a safer location.

Basically, if you are in a helicopter you are ****ed. If you are in a jet, you most likely won't get shot down anyways, but at least you can eject if you are lucky enough. Larger aircraft with better glideslopes and more engines, you have a good chance of making it home if you've been hit.
 
The AC 130 would get shot down by spitfire if it came to a fight. However, it works great against foes without any real anti-air capability, which we are currently facing at the moment. They are actually rather cheap, and can deliver quite a bit of firepower.
 
I hope this makes the Montana folks rethink their rebellion.
 
rathi said:
The AC-130 doesn't have a 30mm cannon. Also, who would even notice if Montana left the union? More illegal immigrants cross the border every year than the entire population of the state.
Click to expand...
Typical liberal speak for "flyover country".
 
Last edited:
Typical liberal speak for "flyover country".
Click to expand...

Only if I am flying to Canada in order to have gay sex with a moose, get aids, then go on welfare with my universal health care. Or maybe I wasn't taking a thread about Montana trying to violently leave the union seriously.
 
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