The Bad Joke Thread.......

[jamesrage]

A husband says to his life let me cum in your ear.His wife says if you do that I'll go deaf.The husband then replies thats because bullshit because I cum in your mouth all time and you still won't shut the fuck up.

 

[reaganburch]

YouTube - Monkey Joke

 

[1069]

A guy is fucking this girl doggy style and he sticks his finger up her arse.
She looks over her shoulder and says "That's a little bit presumptuous of you."
The guy says, "Presumptuous? That's a pretty big word for a six-year-old."



Well, the title is the Bad Joke Thread.

:2wave:

 

[RightOfCenter]

"Supposed to be" is the operative phrase here.
Not too much fun with you and the rest of the whining ***** brigade running around lately ruining every fucking thread by complaining about how sad your lives are, and demanding sympathy and attention, demanding that you be allowed to smack with impunity, and that nobody be allowed to smack you back.
Ain't gonna happen, babe. Maybe the Cap'n will allow you to get away with it, but you know what? He's really just enabling your *****-dom. Not doing you any favors.
Seriously, if your lives are that fucked up, take a break from the forum. Focus on you. Go lay up in some mental hospital somewhere.
Get your fucking arses out of the kitchen if you can't take the heat.
If you're feeling too emotionally fragile for smack, because of your dead mothers or your diseased colons or whatever, how about stay the hell out of the Basement?
Jesus Christ, it doesn't take a genius to figure this out.

Another on target post by 10 about the way the Basement SHOULD be. Come on IT if people are offended they can leave, that's why there's a disclaimer. One complaint though, what the **** is up with saying arses? Aren't you from Texas not Ireland?

 

[Thorgasm]

"Supposed to be" is the operative phrase here.
Not too much fun with you and the rest of the whining ***** brigade running around lately ruining every fucking thread by complaining about how sad your lives are, and demanding sympathy and attention, demanding that you be allowed to smack with impunity, and that nobody be allowed to smack you back.
Ain't gonna happen, babe. Maybe the Cap'n will allow you to get away with it, but you know what? He's really just enabling your *****-dom. Not doing you any favors.
Seriously, if your lives are that fucked up, take a break from the forum. Focus on you. Go lay up in some mental hospital somewhere.
Get your fucking arses out of the kitchen if you can't take the heat.
If you're feeling too emotionally fragile for smack, because of your dead mothers or your diseased colons or whatever, how about stay the hell out of the Basement?
Jesus Christ, it doesn't take a genius to figure this out.

Funny how you were calling for people to leave TOT alone cause he was a tubby nosepicker and then you were worried about his safety or safety of others around him. It wasn't a joke to you then was it? Face it, you chained yourself to bhkad. Right of Center is chaining himself to you. It's like a Basement chain gang. Just remember Volker is the first link.

"Swing low, you stupid slut. Comin over to swallow my bone."

Smack me back. I haven't whined. I never said you couldn't smack. I promised ugly. I never said that people can't smack me. Jallman does it all the time. Of course I think he's flirting.

Have fun being chained to bhkad. :2wave:

P.S. Your jealosy is showing.

 

[Thorgasm]

Another on target post by 10 about the way the Basement SHOULD be. Come on IT if people are offended they can leave, that's why there's a disclaimer. One complaint though, what the **** is up with saying arses? Aren't you from Texas not Ireland?

Hey, I can point out an asshole whenever I want. We all can. She pulls this shit every so often. She was glad Marines died in Beirut. She found it amusing. That's cool. I never told her to leave. Nothing happened to her. Billo is a friend of mine. He has earned my respect. I spoke my mind. No harm done.

I understand your point. I agree. No one was banned or infracted. But don't be surprised if I point out a person's lack of creativity by calling people out.

While we are having this stupid discussion, do you want me to stop pointing out how bhkad only calls people gay? Weak.

Anyway, 10, don't stop being an asshole. Keep it up. Really. Right of Center, I want you to follow her around and say, "What she said."

We can all laugh about how reading 10's posts gave my mother the brain tumor that killed her. After the doctors removed it, they sent it to ten and she made it her new "toy" and named it "Mr. Bunnyears". Oh what folly.

 

[quatrotritikali]

10 Times In History When Using the "F" Word Was Appropriate:


10) "What the f*** was that?" - Mayor of Hiroshima

9) "Where did all these f***ing Indians come from?" - Custer

8) "Any f***ing idiot could understand that." - Einstein

7) "It does SO f***ing look like her!" - Picasso

6) "How the f*** did you work that out?" - Pythagoras

5) "You want WHAT on the f***ing ceiling?" - Michelangelo

4) "I don't suppose it's gonna f***ing rain." - Joan of Arc

3) "Scattered f***ing showers...my ***!" - Noah

2) "I need this parade like I need a f***ing hole in my head!" - JFK

1) "Aw, c'mon, who the f*** is going to find out?"
- Bill Clinton

 

[1069]

Hey, I can point out an asshole whenever I want. We all can. She pulls this shit every so often. She was glad Marines died in Beirut. She found it amusing. That's cool. I never told her to leave. Nothing happened to her. Billo is a friend of mine. He has earned my respect. I spoke my mind. No harm done.

I understand your point. I agree. No one was banned or infracted. But don't be surprised if I point out a person's lack of creativity by calling people out.

While we are having this stupid discussion, do you want me to stop pointing out how bhkad only calls people gay? Weak.

Anyway, 10, don't stop being an asshole. Keep it up. Really. Right of Center, I want you to follow her around and say, "What she said."

We can all laugh about how reading 10's posts gave my mother the brain tumor that killed her. After the doctors removed it, they sent it to ten and she made it her new "toy" and named it "Mr. Bunnyears". Oh what folly.

My mother didn't die of a brain tumor. That was my grandma, and it was a cerebral hemhorrage. But nice try.

 

[Thorgasm]

My mother didn't die of a brain tumor. That was my grandma, and it was a cerebral hemhorrage. But nice try.

Try reading my post again, dipshit. I didn't say anything about your mother.

 

[WI Crippler]

Lets not forget that 1069 immediatley called for a stop to people speculating on what her career was. She requested it to not be talked about, and the thread was locked and subsequently deleted, and has not been discussed since. So she had something that she felt was very important to her, that she did not want discuss, but feels no need to return in kind when someone requests that something personal in their lives be off limits.

 

[1069]

I just think it was a revolting mistake to invite this nagging invertebrate to be a dungeon master.
Is this part of a dungeon master's job description? Follow forum members around mewling plaintively that their jokes aren't very considerate and they'd better stop it right now or else?
(Or else what, you might ask? Or else the dungeon master will whine twice as loud, and fussily admonish the forum member in question once again that the jokes aren't vewwy nice, and probably shit in his Huggies, to boot. Talk about some serious consequences for one's actions :roll: What an intimidating authority figure).


I trust steps are being taken to rectify this situation as we speak.
I don't come to the Basement to be wimpily scolded by some dickless bathetic wreck who resembles a perverse hybrid between doughgirl and my ex mother-in-law.

Lets not forget that 1069 immediatley called for a stop to people speculating on what her career was. She requested it to not be talked about, and the thread was locked and subsequently deleted, and has not been discussed since. So she had something that she felt was very important to her, that she did not want discuss, but feels no need to return in kind when someone requests that something personal in their lives be off limits.

If I told you what I do for a living, you'd just yawn. It's not at all interesting.
I'm in one of the helping professions. It's a tedious, unskilled job, and I don't make much money at all. Just over ten dollars an hour.
Am I supposed to name the company I work for? What does it matter?
I have a right to protect my privacy.

 

[Thorgasm]

I just think it was a revolting mistake to invite this nagging invertebrate to be a dungeon master.

I agree, let's go after the idiot that proposed this idea.

Is this part of a dungeon master's job description? Follow forum members around mewling plaintively that their jokes aren't very considerate and they'd better stop it right now or else?

I ain't following you. But don't be surprised if I post in The Basement. I've been posting here for a couple days now.

(Or else what, you might ask? Or else the dungeon master will whine twice as loud, and fussily admonish the forum member in question once again that the jokes aren't vewwy nice, and probably shit in his Huggies, to boot. Talk about some serious consequences for one's actions :roll: What an intimidating authority figure).

More "shit in his Huggies", less whining please. BTW, I prefer Pampers.

I trust steps are being taken to rectify this situation as we speak.

Yes, they are reconsidering their stance about never having another Warden. :2razz:

(No they aren't, settle down folks.)

I don't come to the Basement to be wimpily scolded by some dickless bathetic wreck who resembles a perverse hybrid between doughgirl and my ex mother-in-law.

This is pretty good. I like the Bathos reference. Dennis Miller would be proud of you.

If I told you what I do for a living, you'd just yawn. It's not at all interesting.
I'm in one of the helping professions. It's a tedious, unskilled job, and I don't make much money at all. Just over ten dollars an hour.
Am I supposed to name the company I work for? What does it matter?
I have a right to protect my privacy.

I wouldn't call being a crash test dummy boring. But that's just me.

 

[WI Crippler]

If I told you what I do for a living, you'd just yawn. It's not at all interesting.
I'm in one of the helping professions. It's a tedious, unskilled job, and I don't make much money at all. Just over ten dollars an hour.
Am I supposed to name the company I work for? What does it matter?
I have a right to protect my privacy.

IIRC nobody said you were under any obligation to tell us what your job is, in that thread. It was others speculating as to what your job was, and its doubtful anybody was actually going to guess your profession, it seemed more like people were joking about what kind of job you would be working in, given your personality here at DP. Your privacy was never actually threatened.

You rip on people that shop at Old Navy and Gap when you make $10 an hour? Where exactly can you afford clothes from, Hot Topic?

 

[Thorgasm]

You rip on people that shop at Old Navy and Gap when you make $10 an hour? Where exactly can you afford clothes from, Hot Topic?

Salvation Army? Goodwill?

 

[Panache]

Salvation Army? Goodwill?

Those are pretty good. I personally get most of my clothes from Deseret Industries. Not only to do you get quality clothes for cheap, but all of the money you spend goes to a good cause:

Through Rehabilitation Services, people with special needs are given the opportunity to work, receive needed training, and participate in the job placement course. The program combines rehabilitation, work-adjustment, and skills training, with the goal of helping participants find long-term employment.

Rehabilitation Services

 

[Thorgasm]

What's the definition of a "10"?



A "9" that swallows.

 

[Thorgasm]

What's the difference between "select" and "choose"?

"Select" is when you pick something.

"Choose" is what you wear on your feet.

 

[Thorgasm]

What is the definition of a true friend?





Someone who will go out and get two blowjobs and come back and give you one.:shock::mrgreen:

 

[1069]

IIRC nobody said you were under any obligation to tell us what your job is, in that thread. It was others speculating as to what your job was, and its doubtful anybody was actually going to guess your profession, it seemed more like people were joking about what kind of job you would be working in, given your personality here at DP. Your privacy was never actually threatened.

You rip on people that shop at Old Navy and Gap when you make $10 an hour? Where exactly can you afford clothes from, Hot Topic?

Um, the laundomat?

No, seriously.
That's where I get my clothes.
A guy here at the complex actually saw me walking by in his skull-and-crossbone boxers one time and tried to confront me about it. It was hella funny.

 

[WI Crippler]

Um, the laundomat?

No, seriously.
That's where I get my clothes.
A guy here at the complex actually saw me walking by in his skull-and-crossbone boxers one time and tried to confront me about it. It was hella funny.

Was he a midget?

 

[1069]

Was he a midget?

No. I can wear medium guy's boxers. I can wear large guy's boxers. They have elastic waists. They just look like... shorts. That's all I wear, practically. I'm wearing some right now. Why would anybody (this far South) ever wear anything except boxers and a tank top or teeshirt?

 

[WI Crippler]

No. I can wear medium guy's boxers. I can wear large guy's boxers. They have elastic waists. They just look like... shorts. That's all I wear, practically. I'm wearing some right now. Why would anybody (this far South) ever wear anything except boxers and a tank top or teeshirt?

I can't stand boxers my self, nor can I stand briefs. I like the boxer briefs my self. Boxers just get all bunchy underneath pants or jeans, and briefs are constricting on the coinpurse.

 

[1069]

I can't stand boxers my self, nor can I stand briefs. I like the boxer briefs my self. Boxers just get all bunchy underneath pants or jeans, and briefs are constricting on the coinpurse.

Yeah, I don't wear boxers under pants or jeans. I don't wear anything under pants or jeans. I figure one layer of clothing is sufficient.
Nor do I wear mens briefs, except occasionally around the house, when all the boxers are dirty (mens briefs fit me like shorts, also; slightly shorter shorts). I wouldn't wear them outside, though, because they've got that dick-flap thingie on the front, which would look a bit... odd. They're comfy as all hell, though, and that's what I care about these days.
My husband has some of those... I don't know what they're called. They're like briefs, but just slightly longer in the legs. They're gray. Those are the ones that make the nicest comfy-est shorts for me.

 

[bushrules91]

can we get back to the jokes maybe isnt that what this is about

 

[bushrules91]

I can't stand boxers my self, nor can I stand briefs. I like the boxer briefs my self. Boxers just get all bunchy underneath pants or jeans, and briefs are constricting on the coinpurse.

i to am the bxer briefs kinda guy, there pretty nice