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I respect my kid enough to smack him when he's doing something wrong. ---is another way of looking at it.
Well, that is the dumbest thing I have read so far today.
So, if you don't respect them - then what?
You don't hit them?
Or you beat them silly?
You should NEVER spank your child.
If you do, then you are a weak parent who must threaten/use physical violence on his/her child to keep them 'in line'.
Any idiot can use violence as discipline.
Any parent that spanks their child in my home is told that if they do it again - they will be asked to leave.
I do not think there is any justification or need for hitting, spanking or man-handling children. With consistent punishment of wrongdoing, even if it is by occasionally removing the TV from a kids bedroom or denying them computer time or mobile phones, but mostly by just giving time-outs and good talks with the child.
I wasn't talking about your children. I was talking about mine. You do what you want with your kids.If you are saying that no one, under any circumstances, has the right or my permission to discipline (even spank) my child, then I disagree.
You should NEVER spank your child.
If you do, then you are a weak parent who must threaten/use physical violence on his/her child to keep them 'in line'.
Any idiot can use violence as discipline.
Any parent that spanks their child in my home is told that if they do it again - they will be asked to leave.
I didn't answer the poll because the "do what you have to do" option wasn't there. Some kids need corporal punishment but most don't. Using corporal punishment as a first option is not the best answer, IMO, but if the non-violent measures consistently don't work you have no other choice but to turn up the volume.
I didn't ever spank my daughter and she turned out great!
But it's only a kinda' sorta' "yes, they should be allowed to use corporal punishment if they think it is necessary." As I noted, they should try many other options before resorting to physical force. Your option really doesn't cover that caveat.Based upon your response, your answer should be "yes, they should be allowed to use corporal punishment if they think it is necessary."
You agree it should be an option, although one you felt no need to use with your own child.
Hitting a child teaches it that it's acceptable to inflict pain on somebody else to make them do as you want.
After seeing a Poll concerning parent accountability for the actions of their children, I began to wonder...are American parents unduly restricted in their ability to discipline their children?
Every day we see and hear news about parents being held more and more accountable for the actions of their children, but we also refuse to allow them old-school methods of discipline.
Once upon a time parents had a variety of options; from spankings to sending the kid to bed without supper, or banishing them to their bedrooms without access to electronics. But after several isolated horror stories of truly abusive behavior, parents have been told to limit their methods to time-outs and stern talking-to's. Parents also face issues with outsider's and even their own children calling Children's Services at the slightest hint the child has been "manhandled."
So should parent's be given more freedom to discipline their children, or are things working out just fine as they are?
Since I don't know the statistics for the Netherlands, does that work well for you all? Because it sure doesn't work well here IMO, our teen crime and violence to say nothing of the disrespect in general is a little staggering.
No one would look twice here, either.In my state, it is highly improbable that any parent would be bothered by the government for merely spanking their children. I can't speak for any other part of the country.
Most violent criminals were violently abused as children.
I voted, but don't think anything has really changed. I was spanked; I spank, the world keeps on spinning.
That's fine, I'd leave any home where the owner tried to tell me how to discipline my children anyway.
I don't believe spanking should be a parent's only (or even first) method of correcting their child when they do something wrong, but I don't think spanking your kids for some things makes you a weak or bad parent. IMO spanking should be saved for when a kid really screws up. When they've done something extremely dangerous or stupid and need to be corrected immediately and strongly with no risk of misunderstanding.
Any idiot can use physical violence to force/teach behaviour.
The skill is to do so without resorting to such ridiculous means.
If the only way your child will listen to you is to threaten/cause physical pain against them...then clearly they don't respect you nearly as much as a child who listens to their parents without being hit.
Besides, physical pain as a deterrent deteriorates as the victim gets acclimated to it.
I remember when my mother used to spank me, it bothered me less and less as I got used to it (fortunately, she never increased the severity of the spankings); so much so that in the end, it became little/no incentive not to screw up.
So unless you plan on hitting them harder each time, it will lose it's 'effectiveness' with each application of pain.
Finally, there are those parents that simply do not wish to hit their children.
The thought is so uncomfortable that they cannot bring themselves to do it.
You obviously have no such comfort level.
Physically hurting your child does not bother you enough to not do it.
Which speaks volumes about you - and all the others who do it - as a parent and a person.
The bottom line is you consider striking defenceless children acceptable...noted.
But it's only a kinda' sorta' "yes, they should be allowed to use corporal punishment if they think it is necessary." As I noted, they should try many other options before resorting to physical force. Your option really doesn't cover that caveat.
From a pragmatic standpoint, minor (or restricted if you prefer) corporal punishment should be "de-criminalized" - not readily accepted in society but not illegal.
Yes, but that doesn't necessarily mean that anyone who uses physical force to teach behavior is an idiot.
There are times when a point needs to be made to a child immediately and very clearly that something isn't okay. Spanking can be the best way to do that. It's best for younger children who are old enough to do dangerous things but not old enough to be reasoned with much yet.
For example, if I had a kid that was 2 or 3 that ran out into the road, I'd spank them, because it's important that I get the point across to them immediately and without room for misunderstanding that that's something that isn't okay to do. Pain is a good teacher because it gets down into our unconscious minds. We're biologically wired to avoid things that cause pain. A three year old probably won't understand if you sit down and explain to him why the street is dangerous and it's not okay to play in it, but he'll understand pretty fast that playing in the street makes his butt hurt and avoid it for that reason.
Which is why spanking is best used rarely.
That's fine, I'm not saying you have to spank your kids or you're a crappy parent or anything. There are many different ways to discipline a kid, and every parent will need to find what works for them.
It probably will bother me to have to spank my kid and make them cry. Just like it would bother me to take away their favorite toy and make them cry, or ground them and make them cry. But as a parent you have to discipline your kid, and it's going to make them unhappy when you do. And I intend to use the most effective tools available to do that, whatever those may be.
Yes, I do. I'm not sure why that's something to be ashamed of. Punishing your child is supposed to be unpleasant for the kid, otherwise it wouldn't be punishment. I'm not sure why so many people consider inflicting a little bit of physical pain which will fade in a couple of minutes at most to be such an awful thing. Why is that worse than taking away something they love as punishment? Doesn't that cause emotional pain? Why is that okay? Or grounding them in their room? When we do that in prisons it's called solitary confinement and people consider it cruel. Why is that okay to do to your kids?
You obviously don't get it.
In actual practice it comes down to that, as I noted earlier, but in theory (like we're discussing) a parent could decide it was necessary at the onset instead of trying other methods first. We've seen that a couple of times in this thread. That's why I'm good with it being 'frowned upon' but not illegal.Hmm, but doesn't "if they think it is necessary" cover exactly what your dillemma is?
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