Should Parents Be Given More Freedom to Discipline their Children?

[Captain Adverse]

After seeing a Poll concerning parent accountability for the actions of their children, I began to wonder...are American parents unduly restricted in their ability to discipline their children?

Every day we see and hear news about parents being held more and more accountable for the actions of their children, but we also refuse to allow them old-school methods of discipline.

Once upon a time parents had a variety of options; from spankings to sending the kid to bed without supper, or banishing them to their bedrooms without access to electronics. But after several isolated horror stories of truly abusive behavior, parents have been told to limit their methods to time-outs and stern talking-to's. Parents also face issues with outsider's and even their own children calling Children's Services at the slightest hint the child has been "manhandled."

So should parent's be given more freedom to discipline their children, or are things working out just fine as they are?

 

[Chaddelamancha]

I voted, but don't think anything has really changed. I was spanked; I spank, the world keeps on spinning.

 

[Van Basten]

They have enough freedom already. Kids still get spanked, less, but still do.

 

[Kreton]

Parents today can spank their kids. At least where I live. The line is drawn to protect kids from being beaten. There is a big difference. Beating a child not only does physical but psychological damage to the child. I am sure that we have all heard horror stories about parents losing their kids over nothing but it is extremely rare. When a child is taken away from their parents there is almost always good reasons behind it and the parent(s) are given the opportunity to get their child back by fixing the problem. Even when the parents go to court about the child safety a judge rules on whether or not reasonable efforts are being made to keep the child in their parents home, or get back into it. Almost, if not every, state follows these same basic guidelines. Parents do have the freedom to discipline their children, and while I disagree with a lot of laws on our books, there are very few laws protecting children that seem to be too outrageous.

 

[Manc Skipper]

Hitting a child teaches it that it's acceptable to inflict pain on somebody else to make them do as you want.

 

[Zyphlin]

No issue with it, and frankly I don't think it'll be as uncommon as people think. I believe there's a shift every few decades as the people who grew up under one style of parent tend to rebel against those that came after when parenting "changed" a bit. Most people my age that I've known seem to have no issues with the notion of spanking or something like sending a kid to bed without dinner.

I think, as with most things, it's less about the actions itself and far more about the Parent themselves and the ability to be a good parent. Anyone whose ever dealt with children who will tell you that a singular method of dealing with misbehavior and/or disobedience is all that is needed is lying or a ****ty childcare individual. Part of being a good parent is understanding your children, what their motivations are, what buttons can be pushed to what effect, etc and using that knowledge in such a way as to educate, teach, and promote good character, morals, attitude, and growth in general.

If "hitting a child" was some kind of universal notion of teaching individuals that "inflicting pain" on someone to do what you want is acceptable we'd have a HUGE population of extremely violent people. The reality is, individual actions are not done in a vacuum, and it's the culmination of ones parenting that instills the notion of societal and moral "acceptable" behavior, not singular acts.

 

[Gipper]

I'm more concerned with schools given more freedom to discipline children.

After all, it looks like parents these days suck in that aspect.

 

[Manc Skipper]

...If "hitting a child" was some kind of universal notion of teaching individuals that "inflicting pain" on someone to do what you want is acceptable we'd have a HUGE population of extremely violent people...

Look around you. Many of them have guns too. For "self-defence"....

 

[Gipper]

Look around you. Many of them have guns too. For "self-defence"....

So gun ownership equates to abuse, aggression, and eventual murder?

I'm suddenly happy that you don't own a gun.

 

[molten_dragon]

Parents should have the right to use corporal punishment on their kids, as long as it doesn't cross the line into abuse. But isn't that already the law? Are there places where spanking your kid is illegal?

 

[Zyphlin]

Look around you. Many of them have guns too. For "self-defence"....

I have. I've lived 22 years of my adult life around undoubtably hundreds if not thousands of people who...based on your logic...were taught that its acceptable to use violence to get what they want and yet never once have I actually had anyone use violence as a means of getting me to do what they want, let alone a firearm. How utterly strange...

 

[Van Basten]

Hitting a child teaches it that it's acceptable to inflict pain on somebody else to make them do as you want.

No, it teaches them what not to do in the future. I haven't hurt a innocent person yet (and never will), and I come from a family that does that oh so terrible spanking thing.

It in no way teaches what you're insinuating.

 

[Baralis]

When I was in school the school system I attended still had what they called corporal punishment. Swats with a board were pretty basic but we also had many other methods such as holding books to each side of your body (arms outstretched) for hours on end and if your arms drooped to much or if you dropped the books you had time added and had to do it all over again. We also had what they called push up position where you had to support your upper body with your arms (like doing a push up) where you had to stay. Again if you could not support yourself for the allotted time you had time added and had to start over. They also had basics like running a certain distance on the field or sit ups, that sorta thing. I had witnessed kids who were not physically inclined miss several days to weeks of classroom time to fulfill their punishments.

My problem with these types of punishments, like our penal system, is they fail to teach anyone the wrongness of their behavior. They simply make punishment miserable so a person may never consider their actions other then dreading the punishment leaving many to be "Ok" with their actions as long as they can get away with it and avoid the punishment. I think the proper way to deal with those who misbehave is to teach them and make them understand the "why" their actions are unacceptable. Holding books, being spanked, or forced into a cell will not achieve this. It only makes them become better at avoiding being caught and misses the core issues and this is why we have so many repeat offenders.

 

[Dooble]

I voted, but don't think anything has really changed. I was spanked; I spank, the world keeps on spinning.

My third grade teacher whaled on me once. Did I tell my mom? Of course not! Why would I risk two beatings in the same day?

 

[Woodman909]

what a dumb-ass thread

 

[Baralis]

what a dumb-ass thread

With such insightful, well thought out, intelligent contributions such as this it is bound to get better. If you disapprove of the thread you always have the option of not participating in it.

 

[Woodman909]

With such insightful, well thought out, intelligent contributions such as this it is bound to get better. If you disapprove of the thread you always have the option of not participating in it.

The premise of this thread assumes that parents must be GRANTED permission to discipline their offspring. This is typical of the liberal mindset, in that someone else must take charge of parenting, since anyone who does not agree with their methods must be ignorant and therefore has to be 'schooled and monitored' and told specifically what they must do.

I do not approve or disapprove of any thread. I merely exercise my right to comment. Often times few words are required to make a point that most intelligent readers will grasp.

 

[Captain Adverse]

The premise of this thread assumes that parents must be GRANTED permission to discipline their offspring. This is typical of the liberal mindset, in that someone else must take charge of parenting, since anyone who does not agree with their methods must be ignorant and therefore has to be 'schooled and monitored' and told specifically what they must do.

Well thats the rub isn't it. I can't speak for all states, including whichever one you live in. But in many of the "liberal" states, including California, New York, and New Jersey where I have lived, there are so many convoluted Childrens Welfare laws binding doctors, teacher, and parents in what they can't do, can do, must do, and must report that Parents are being hampered in performing what was once considered acceptable dicipline. When a child knows he can call Childrens Protective Services any time and expect a quick response, Parents feel too restricted to act.

Hence my poll question.

 

[Woodman909]

Well thats the rub isn't it. I can't speak for all states, including whichever one you live in. But in many of the "liberal" states, including California, New York, and New Jersey where I have lived, there are so many convoluted Childrens Welfare laws binding doctors, teacher, and parents in what they can't do, can do, must do, and must report that Parents are being hampered in performing what was once considered acceptable dicipline. When a child knows he can call Childrens Protective Services any time and expect a quick response, Parents feel too restricted to act.

Hence my poll question.

I was not able to ascertain your motivation from the way the poll was presented, so my apologies for being terse in my first comment. However it seems we are one in our opinion of this issue.

 

[Jerry]

I'm more concerned with schools given more freedom to discipline children.

After all, it looks like parents these days suck in that aspect.

A school needs to remember that I reserve the right to disiplin anyone who lays a hand on my child.

 

[Hard Truth]

Absolutely not. My observation is that parents who treat their kids with respect are respected by their children and turn out to be good people. One doesn't hit someone you respect. (or shouldn't) Corporal punishment isn't even needed for training a dog, much less a much more intelligent human child.

 

[USNavySquid]

Absolutely not. My observation is that parents who treat their kids with respect are respected by their children and turn out to be good people. One doesn't hit someone you respect. (or shouldn't) Corporal punishment isn't even needed for training a dog, much less a much more intelligent human child.

I respect my kid enough to smack him when he's doing something wrong. ---is another way of looking at it.

 

[USNavySquid]

A school needs to remember that I reserve the right to disiplin anyone who lays a hand on my child.

If you are saying that no one, under any circumstances, has the right or my permission to discipline (even spank) my child, then I disagree. I'll spank my kids no matter how old they are. If my neighbors or relatives catch my kids - up to age 7- doing something wrong, they have my permission to spank. I don't expect adults to look the other way or use half-measures when kids need discipline.

 

[USNavySquid]

Parents should have the right to use corporal punishment on their kids, as long as it doesn't cross the line into abuse. But isn't that already the law? Are there places where spanking your kid is illegal?

I think many people have the perception that spanking is illegal. So, in public, they might see a parent spank a child and confront the parent and/or report it. But in New York, it is not illegal so long as it does not leave a mark. But most people don't know the law.

 

[DA60]

You should NEVER spank your child.

If you do, then you are a weak parent who must threaten/use physical violence on his/her child to keep them 'in line'.

Any idiot can use violence as discipline.


Any parent that spanks their child in my home is told that if they do it again - they will be asked to leave.