Shocked that i am racist

[perthbum]

I thought I was liberal live and let live, gay rights I supported, gay marriage was fine by. My 22 year old daughter came home on Monday and me she had met a guy and had been out on a couple of dates and really liked him and was seeing him again and thought it could possibly be a long term relationship. Only problem is she thinks granddad would be shocked if he found out because he is black and from Nigeria. I was surprised how disappointed and I felt and she could see it, I joked "tell him I want at least a 100 cows for you" I realized as soon as I said it was the wrong joke at the wrong time. Still in a bit of shock how my feelings overwhelmed me so sudden.

 

[PoS]

Looks like you had your Liam Neeson moment...

 

[American]

I thought I was liberal live and let live, gay rights I supported, gay marriage was fine by. My 22 year old daughter came home on Monday and me she had met a guy and had been out on a couple of dates and really liked him and was seeing him again and thought it could possibly be a long term relationship. Only problem is she thinks granddad would be shocked if he found out because he is black and from Nigeria. I was surprised how disappointed and I felt and she could see it, I joked "tell him I want at least a 100 cows for you" I realized as soon as I said it was the wrong joke at the wrong time. Still in a bit of shock how my feelings overwhelmed me so sudden.

I don't know if you're really racist or not, because comedians used to make jokes like that. Now everyone is looking to be offended.

 

[PirateMk1]

I thought I was liberal live and let live, gay rights I supported, gay marriage was fine by. My 22 year old daughter came home on Monday and me she had met a guy and had been out on a couple of dates and really liked him and was seeing him again and thought it could possibly be a long term relationship. Only problem is she thinks granddad would be shocked if he found out because he is black and from Nigeria. I was surprised how disappointed and I felt and she could see it, I joked "tell him I want at least a 100 cows for you" I realized as soon as I said it was the wrong joke at the wrong time. Still in a bit of shock how my feelings overwhelmed me so sudden.

Dads make bad jokes all the time. Don't stop now on your daughters account. Double down and ask for some lion skins. :2razz:

 

[americanwoman]

I thought I was liberal live and let live, gay rights I supported, gay marriage was fine by. My 22 year old daughter came home on Monday and me she had met a guy and had been out on a couple of dates and really liked him and was seeing him again and thought it could possibly be a long term relationship. Only problem is she thinks granddad would be shocked if he found out because he is black and from Nigeria. I was surprised how disappointed and I felt and she could see it, I joked "tell him I want at least a 100 cows for you" I realized as soon as I said it was the wrong joke at the wrong time. Still in a bit of shock how my feelings overwhelmed me so sudden.

You should be shocked and ashamed of yourself.

Your main concern should be how the person your daughter chooses treats and respects her.

 

[americanwoman]

I don't know if you're really racist or not, because comedians used to make jokes like that. Now everyone is looking to be offended.

The joke is nothing compared to that he feels disappointed because his daughter's boyfriend is black and Nigerian.

He is a racist because he immediately was disappointed simply because of the man's skin color and that somehow some white guy would be better.

 

[bearpoker]

I thought I was liberal live and let live, gay rights I supported, gay marriage was fine by. My 22 year old daughter came home on Monday and me she had met a guy and had been out on a couple of dates and really liked him and was seeing him again and thought it could possibly be a long term relationship. Only problem is she thinks granddad would be shocked if he found out because he is black and from Nigeria. I was surprised how disappointed and I felt and she could see it, I joked "tell him I want at least a 100 cows for you" I realized as soon as I said it was the wrong joke at the wrong time. Still in a bit of shock how my feelings overwhelmed me so sudden.

Cultural indoctrination can be a bitch. The fact that you don't like what just popped out shows that you're not a racist, even if you've subconsciously absorbed some racist insensitivity. Now that you know about it, you can overcome it. I'm 68 years old and I've had similar experiences, so I can relate. I wish you well.

 

[Tim the plumber]

Hey, we can't help our initial reaction. That you know it and will be taking mental action to counter it says that you are going to be OK.

 

[X Factor]

I thought I was liberal live and let live, gay rights I supported, gay marriage was fine by. My 22 year old daughter came home on Monday and me she had met a guy and had been out on a couple of dates and really liked him and was seeing him again and thought it could possibly be a long term relationship. Only problem is she thinks granddad would be shocked if he found out because he is black and from Nigeria. I was surprised how disappointed and I felt and she could see it, I joked "tell him I want at least a 100 cows for you" I realized as soon as I said it was the wrong joke at the wrong time. Still in a bit of shock how my feelings overwhelmed me so sudden.

Curious why you were surprised. A person’s race is usually very important to liberals, so much so that not caring about race is tagged as being racist by many of those same liberals.

 

[perthbum]

You should be shocked and ashamed of yourself.

Your main concern should be how the person your daughter chooses treats and respects her.

I agree, but I cannot help how I felt, I was shocked with myself.

 

[americanwoman]

I agree, but I cannot help how I felt, I was shocked with myself.

Like someone else said, at least you are admitting it and trying to work with your feelings.

Get to know the guy, take him out and do whatever you like to do. If he's an asshole though just know that's because it is who he is not because he is X and Y.

 

[Mongidig]

You should be shocked and ashamed of yourself.

Your main concern should be how the person your daughter chooses treats and respects her.

He should not be ashamed! This is how he felt and he needs to just accept it. It doesn't make him a bad person. We all have our preferences.

 

[Mongidig]

I agree, but I cannot help how I felt, I was shocked with myself.

I think you are just conditioned to feel that way. We are all "racist" in one way or another. The liberals feel it's their job to make you feel bad about it even though they are racist as well.

 

[Mycroft]

I thought I was liberal live and let live, gay rights I supported, gay marriage was fine by. My 22 year old daughter came home on Monday and me she had met a guy and had been out on a couple of dates and really liked him and was seeing him again and thought it could possibly be a long term relationship. Only problem is she thinks granddad would be shocked if he found out because he is black and from Nigeria. I was surprised how disappointed and I felt and she could see it, I joked "tell him I want at least a 100 cows for you" I realized as soon as I said it was the wrong joke at the wrong time. Still in a bit of shock how my feelings overwhelmed me so sudden.

I don't know you or your daughter, but here's my take: One or both of these may be true.

1. Your daughter doesn't know you very well if she thought you would be shocked and you are disappointed about her thinking that way.

2. You are not being entirely honest with yourself. Your daughter sees things in you that you won't admit to yourself.

 

[OlNate]

Curious why you were surprised. A person’s race is usually very important to liberals, so much so that not caring about race is tagged as being racist by many of those same liberals.

:lamo Nice insertion of that diss, there, X... Of course, you fail to notice that it's a liberal working through it and trying to do better.

Feels like it's been a while since I've seen you around. You all good, my friend?

 

[americanwoman]

He should not be ashamed! This is how he felt and he needs to just accept it. It doesn't make him a bad person. We all have our preferences.

Yes, he should. You can not adequately judge someone to be a disappointment because of their skin tone.

 

[X Factor]

:lamo Nice insertion of that diss, there, X... Of course, you fail to notice that it's a liberal working through it and trying to do better.

Feels like it's been a while since I've seen you around. You all good, my friend?

I’m all good, Nate. I’m back and ready to take on the world again. :mrgreen: I did catch his lean and really didn’t intend a diss.

 

[OlNate]

I’m all good, Nate. I’m back and ready to take on the world again. :mrgreen: I did catch his lean and really didn’t intend a diss.

Right on, brother, looking forward to some good brawling.

 

[Apocalypse]

I thought I was liberal live and let live, gay rights I supported, gay marriage was fine by. My 22 year old daughter came home on Monday and me she had met a guy and had been out on a couple of dates and really liked him and was seeing him again and thought it could possibly be a long term relationship. Only problem is she thinks granddad would be shocked if he found out because he is black and from Nigeria. I was surprised how disappointed and I felt and she could see it, I joked "tell him I want at least a 100 cows for you" I realized as soon as I said it was the wrong joke at the wrong time. Still in a bit of shock how my feelings overwhelmed me so sudden.

Regardless of whether it was racist or not, what you should see as the most important is what your daughter considers the most important and if this is what she wants then you'll come to live with it and most likely approve of it.
We all have what we see as ideal for our kids but eventually it's just their decision, the story isn't about the parents the moment they start making their own decisions.

 

[VanceMack]

Im shocked that your sense of humor is out of date. Surely you could have asked if he knew that Nigerian prince that still owed you all that money after you went through the trouble of sending him your bank account information.

Look...its OK. Lighten the **** up. People used to have this thing called a 'sense of humor'.

 

[RAMOSS]

The joke is nothing compared to that he feels disappointed because his daughter's boyfriend is black and Nigerian.

He is a racist because he immediately was disappointed simply because of the man's skin color and that somehow some white guy would be better.

I find that when it comes to prejudices, there is the intellect, and then there is the immediate gut reaction people have. The two can be at odds with each other.
I witnessed that in my own father, but he at least acknowledged and knew that often is gut reaction was wrong.

 

[American]

The joke is nothing compared to that he feels disappointed because his daughter's boyfriend is black and Nigerian.

He is a racist because he immediately was disappointed simply because of the man's skin color and that somehow some white guy would be better.

I guess there are billions of racists around then, since most races marry amongst themselves.

 

[X Factor]

I guess there are billions of racists around then, since most races marry amongst themselves.

Remember that only white people are racist, though.

 

[American]

Remember that only white people are racist, though.

Oh yeah, sorry I forgot. :doh

 

[americanwoman]

I guess there are billions of racists around then, since most races marry amongst themselves.

In the past maybe but we are opening up more and more.

Pew Study on Marriage: More Americans Marry Other Races | Time

Where Interracial Marriage Is Most Common in America - CityLab


I expect the trend to continue to incline as well.