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You're comparing apples to oranges. Compare Ren to young apprentice Vader.
Ren - seems interesting, kinda dark and cool, still young edges but worked some issues maturely, does throw one small tantrum but it had a bit of comic appeal. Gets wounded(?), and fights two saber fights and is foiled at the end. Doesn't hard lose, but he lost.
vs
Teen Vader - cries like a bitch, gets the **** kicked out of him left and right, takes his anger out on sandpeople children, cries like a bitch some more, gets hand sliced off, makes you throw up when he tries to romance Natalie, won't listen to McGregor-wan (who would not listen to him? He was the pinnacle of calm wisdom), and gets cut in half like the girl he was. He had to basically kill himself with stupidity to become Vader.
He got psychically overpowered - not once, but twice - by someone half his size, and then got slashed to ribbons while he lurched around like a mope. They finished it all off with a (highly symbolic, and humiliating) slash right across his "pretty boy" face.
The only reason he's still alive, in point of fact, is because Rey consciously chose to spare him when he was at her mercy.
That's what I'd call a rather definitively "hard" loss. Granted, he smacked around the comic relief a little bit, but anyone - and everyone in this movie, really - does that, including a simple stormtrooper with a stun baton, and they don't even make it look hard. Against the person that actually matters, he got his ass kicked.
Up until that point, he'd actually been given a fairly respectful depiction. He rages out on that one officer, but that was clearly meant to be more of a homage to (and one-upping of) Vader's antics than "comic." The "comic" freak out only comes after he runs into Rey, and she hard-stops him trying to read his mind and subsequently escapes.
Honestly... Basically the only time Kylo really loses his "bad ass" cred at all is when dealing with Rey. At all other times, he's a more than competent and menacing villain.