This entry is an aside to 'Cheeky Nostalgia'
I ‘preach’ it, but honesty isn’t always the best policy. You can find yourself in a situation with a 110 lb woman with a fabulous ass, who’s driven herself crazy over a pair of jeans unbeknownst to you, now wants your opinion…
‘Do these jeans make my ass look fat? Be honest.’
‘They don’t do it justice.’
‘So it looks fat?’
‘I didn’t say that...’
‘Yeah, but it does…’
‘No, it just…’
‘Don’t try to back-track now.’
‘Ok.’
‘Are you just agreeing with me to appease me?’
‘Honestly?’
Have you had the discussion about how the jeans can’t be taken back because they’ve already been hemmed, now doomed to sit in the back of the closet until she’s made up her mind in a few years about whether to donate them or hold on to them for when they’re back in style? Like I want to contribute to that kind of misery in the world. But sometimes… well, as long as nobody gets hurt…
‘Do these jeans make my ass look fat? Be honest.’
‘Aren’t those the same jeans that almost ended our marriage 8 years ago?’
‘Shut-up, how could you remember that?’
‘Because the pockets are just as screwy on them this…’
‘They are screwy, aren’t they? That’s what Friend and I said after I hemmed them too.’
‘…’
‘…’
‘You really had to squeeze into them this time, too.’
eace
I ‘preach’ it, but honesty isn’t always the best policy. You can find yourself in a situation with a 110 lb woman with a fabulous ass, who’s driven herself crazy over a pair of jeans unbeknownst to you, now wants your opinion…
‘Do these jeans make my ass look fat? Be honest.’
‘They don’t do it justice.’
‘So it looks fat?’
‘I didn’t say that...’
‘Yeah, but it does…’
‘No, it just…’
‘Don’t try to back-track now.’
‘Ok.’
‘Are you just agreeing with me to appease me?’
‘Honestly?’
Have you had the discussion about how the jeans can’t be taken back because they’ve already been hemmed, now doomed to sit in the back of the closet until she’s made up her mind in a few years about whether to donate them or hold on to them for when they’re back in style? Like I want to contribute to that kind of misery in the world. But sometimes… well, as long as nobody gets hurt…
‘Do these jeans make my ass look fat? Be honest.’
‘Aren’t those the same jeans that almost ended our marriage 8 years ago?’
‘Shut-up, how could you remember that?’
‘Because the pockets are just as screwy on them this…’
‘They are screwy, aren’t they? That’s what Friend and I said after I hemmed them too.’
‘…’
‘…’
‘You really had to squeeze into them this time, too.’
eace