Question for you educators

[azgreg]

The K-12 thread prompted me to post this.

My son was diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome a year ago after he spent a week in the hospital after assaulting my wife - his mother. He's always had trouble dealing with school and is on a IEP. He has spent the last year pretty much in his room. I'm going to estimate about 22 hours a day. Over the last month his attitude has changed and he has stated that he wants to continue his education. He can't handle the normal school life. Academics aren't the problem, it's the social aspect. If he gets into a situation were he get's uncomfortable or frustrated he gets wrapped up in an anxiety attack like a straight jacket. Looking at all the options so far it seems like a computer assisted charter school might be the ticket. We are looking at Intellischool IntelliSchool Charter High School . Any feedback on this type of program would be much appreciated.

 

[Boo Radley]

The K-12 thread prompted me to post this.

My son was diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome a year ago after he spent a week in the hospital after assaulting my wife - his mother. He's always had trouble dealing with school and is on a IEP. He has spent the last year pretty much in his room. I'm going to estimate about 22 hours a day. Over the last month his attitude has changed and he has stated that he wants to continue his education. He can't handle the normal school life. Academics aren't the problem, it's the social aspect. If he gets into a situation were he get's uncomfortable or frustrated he gets wrapped up in an anxiety attack like a straight jacket. Looking at all the options so far it seems like a computer assisted charter school might be the ticket. We are looking at Intellischool IntelliSchool Charter High School . Any feedback on this type of program would be much appreciated.

I have worked with students with Aspergers before, but your case seems more difficult than I've had to deal with. Those I've worked with were not social, like specific detail on what to do, within clearly defined criteria. I found face to face worked better, but not traditional instruction. I do a lot if one on one work, and found this worked best.

Again, those I worked with may have had a milder form.

 

[tacomancer]

Try this,
Take your son to the mall or somewhere else on a regular basis and start people watching. As you do this, explain to him why the people are doing what they are doing, how they feel based on their body language (see those slumped shoulders on that guy, he probably feels sad about something), and help him gain a logical perspective on human behavior, which is the way he processes (aspie here who has basically done this for himself and these days I can be quite charismatic when I want to be, but I have exceptionally high intelligence and will power, most people need help).

As he gets more and more comfortable, begin minor social interaction, increasing the frequency and intensity until he gets comfortable and has developed the right mental framework of human behavior to get comfortable and confident on his own.

Its going to require months to years of work, depending on your son, his intelligence, level of perception, etc (it took me a good decade from the moment I realized that people were the key getting what I wanted out of life and being good at it), but its either that or be in his room for the rest of his life, which probably sucks badly for him.

In terms of school, whatever gets him graduated, you can worry about college later if thats where he wants to go.

Knowing what causes anxiety and is likely a source of unhappiness in his life and hinders his ability to function, and given that his academics are fine, as you stated which means his schooling options academically can be flexible, I answer this coming from left field

Also, you might want to consider anti-anxiety meds if its that strong for him.

 

[Fiddytree]

Try this,
Take your son to the mall or somewhere else on a regular basis and start people watching. As you do this, explain to him why the people are doing what they are doing, how they feel based on their body language (see those slumped shoulders on that guy, he probably feels sad about something), and help him gain a logical perspective on human behavior, which is the way he processes (aspie here who has basically done this for himself and these days I can be quite charismatic when I want to be, but I have exceptionally high intelligence and will power, most people need help).

As he gets more and more comfortable, begin minor social interaction, increasing the frequency and intensity until he gets comfortable and has developed the right mental framework of human behavior to get comfortable and confident on his own.

Its going to require months to years of work, depending on your son, his intelligence, level of perception, etc, but its either that or be in his room for the rest of his life, which probably sucks badly for him.

In terms of school, whatever gets him graduated, you can worry about college later if thats where he wants to go.

Knowing what causes anxiety and is likely a source of unhappiness in his life and hinders his ability to function, and given that his academics are fine, as you stated which means his schooling options academically can be flexible, I answer this coming from left field

I would also seek a heavy amount of consultation from all members of the IEP team and any parent resource in your area before you jump right in to an alternative education. Of course, if you do, you may want to make sure that they get accustomed to the new environment before they just go to the school and get to work.

Now, I do not have Asperger's, but I have NLD (a similar disability) and had dealt with an enormous amount of social anxiety and bullying (when I was in middle school, I had to be practically forced to go to school, kicking and screaming). While your son's needs are going to be different from mine, I had more or less discovered that an academic outlet to my social anxiety was by taking a sociology course. Since most people just assume social cues are understood by all, and make it difficult for those who do not, having it explained in a classroom setting in front of everyone else both helped me understand how neurotypical people think and act, as well as it allowed me to learn it in a comfortable setting. Now, this would also assume that the classroom teacher would want to demonstrate certain generalities surrounding social rules (physical space, when to talk, how to make small talk, what to say, what not to say, etc.) rather than just say "a theoretician by the name of so-and-so came up with the so-and-so principle which is dah-dah-dah" and be done with it.

 

[Fiddytree]

Bah, every IEP that I have gone to for my son has been less than useless. All clinical textbook garbage and no real insight. Hopefully other schools are better.

No, what you say is fairly true. However, parents have to use whatever resource they got. You got service providers in there who might know someone who is a guru, who has an inside track into that school or what can be done to make the current situation better. They often-times tuck away information in places where parents pretty much need to have an inside track to get anywhere. Either that or they do not even know the thing exists.

 

[tacomancer]

an IEP can be great, if you have the right people. In other cases an IEP can be less than useless. Results vary.

 

[tacomancer]

No, what you say is fairly true. However, parents have to use whatever resource they got. You got service providers in there who might know someone who is a guru, who has an inside track into that school or what can be done to make the current situation better.

yeah, sorry, I deleted that, this thread isn't about me :3oops:

 

[Fiddytree]

yeah, sorry, I deleted that, this thread isn't about me :3oops:

Well, I sure wouldn't apologize. I thought you offered good suggestions, which was why I quoted you to begin with.

 

[tacomancer]

Well, I sure wouldn't apologize. I thought you offered good suggestions, which was why I quoted you to begin with.

Well, I was referring to the venting. The last IEP I went to was all women and I was basically descriminated against because I am male, it left me pissed off and I informed the administrative person of my grievances and what I expected to be different when the school year comes around in a few weeks (which I plan to give a little statement about before the meeting begins). My ex left in tears because I ended up being so harsh about it, but she has no backbone either. Either way, not fully being allowed to be a parent is a line for me.

Either way, enough about that. That's not the point of this thread.

 

[nota bene]

The K-12 thread prompted me to post this.

My son was diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome a year ago after he spent a week in the hospital after assaulting my wife - his mother. He's always had trouble dealing with school and is on a IEP. He has spent the last year pretty much in his room. I'm going to estimate about 22 hours a day. Over the last month his attitude has changed and he has stated that he wants to continue his education. He can't handle the normal school life. Academics aren't the problem, it's the social aspect. If he gets into a situation were he get's uncomfortable or frustrated he gets wrapped up in an anxiety attack like a straight jacket. Looking at all the options so far it seems like a computer assisted charter school might be the ticket. We are looking at Intellischool IntelliSchool Charter High School . Any feedback on this type of program would be much appreciated.

I had to try everything with my son when he was in middle school, but in our case, the public school system was more successful than the two private schools in which he had previously been enrolled. A district diagnostician came up with a very creative solution: He was basically educated one-on-one in the library with various teachers, but he was also assigned to be the tutor of some of the special-ed students, which enhanced his social skills and gave him self-esteem and therefore self-confidence.

 

[Fiddytree]

I forgot to mention this too. Throughout the time I was growing up I was surrounded with different mentors, both in and out of the school. One was a youth leader at various non-denominational churches (and worked with the State), and another was a school district counselor (not at the school I attended, but came in to different schools throughout the district). This provided me with a social outlet that was both safe and confidence boosting.

 

[tacomancer]

Also, consider functional speech therapy, which is different from regular speech therapy as it deals with social situations. The person in our school system is amazing.

 

[Fiddytree]

Well, I was referring to the venting. The last IEP I went to was all women and I was basically descriminated against because I am male, it left me pissed off and I informed the administrative person of my grievances and what I expected to be different when the school year comes around in a few weeks (which I plan to give a little statement about before the meeting begins). My ex left in tears because I ended up being so harsh about it, but she has no backbone either. Either way, not fully being allowed to be a parent is a line for me.

Either way, enough about that. That's not the point of this thread.

Ah. My experience was that of the student in the IEP that sat silent in the corner while the adults in the room discussed and planned my future for me. The parents had to, and still have to, learn the educational lingo and legal rules of the land because educators have fragile egos that need to be constantly fed through cheap parlor tricks, while their administrators want to make sure no one yells at them for not pulling out the coin purse.

 

[tacomancer]

Ah. My experience was that of the student in the IEP that sat silent in the corner while the adults in the room discussed and planned my future for me. The parents had to, and still have to, learn the educational lingo and legal rules of the land because educators have fragile egos that need to be constantly fed through cheap parlor tricks, while their administrators want to make sure no one yells at them for not pulling out the coin purse.

Heh, I am a bit older. I was in actual special education classrooms where I emotionally tortured my teachers because I thought they were all idiots, manipulating them and getting them all bent out of shape (which is kind of weird when I think about it, I had similar phobias as described in the op about kids my age at the time, but other ages didn't bother me, probably because of a lack of a need for emotional investment). I was a hateful child, hehehe. I am a much nicer person these days, that was before I realized that other people mattered.

 

[RosieS]

The K-12 thread prompted me to post this.

My son was diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome a year ago after he spent a week in the hospital after assaulting my wife - his mother. He's always had trouble dealing with school and is on a IEP. He has spent the last year pretty much in his room. I'm going to estimate about 22 hours a day. Over the last month his attitude has changed and he has stated that he wants to continue his education. He can't handle the normal school life. Academics aren't the problem, it's the social aspect. If he gets into a situation were he get's uncomfortable or frustrated he gets wrapped up in an anxiety attack like a straight jacket. Looking at all the options so far it seems like a computer assisted charter school might be the ticket. We are looking at Intellischool IntelliSchool Charter High School . Any feedback on this type of program would be much appreciated.

It's all about the kids!

Regards from Rosie

 

[azgreg]

an IEP can be great, if you have the right people. In other cases an IEP can be less than useless. Results vary.

The people I have meet with associated with my son's IEP have been less than impressive.

 

[rabbitcaebannog]

The K-12 thread prompted me to post this.

My son was diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome a year ago after he spent a week in the hospital after assaulting my wife - his mother. He's always had trouble dealing with school and is on a IEP. He has spent the last year pretty much in his room. I'm going to estimate about 22 hours a day. Over the last month his attitude has changed and he has stated that he wants to continue his education. He can't handle the normal school life. Academics aren't the problem, it's the social aspect. If he gets into a situation were he get's uncomfortable or frustrated he gets wrapped up in an anxiety attack like a straight jacket. Looking at all the options so far it seems like a computer assisted charter school might be the ticket. We are looking at Intellischool IntelliSchool Charter High School . Any feedback on this type of program would be much appreciated.

I like to use this tool because I find it very user friendly for parents: US News High School Rankings because it gives you all kinds of information about schools in your or surrounding area(s). You can look at these stats and see how they measure up to other schools --You can click on three overview categories including- Student body and test scores
You can even compare this school to your son's old school.
Intelli-School in CHANDLER, AZ | Best High Schools | US News

 

[MaggieD]

The K-12 thread prompted me to post this.

My son was diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome a year ago after he spent a week in the hospital after assaulting my wife - his mother. He's always had trouble dealing with school and is on a IEP. He has spent the last year pretty much in his room. I'm going to estimate about 22 hours a day. Over the last month his attitude has changed and he has stated that he wants to continue his education. He can't handle the normal school life. Academics aren't the problem, it's the social aspect. If he gets into a situation were he get's uncomfortable or frustrated he gets wrapped up in an anxiety attack like a straight jacket. Looking at all the options so far it seems like a computer assisted charter school might be the ticket. We are looking at Intellischool IntelliSchool Charter High School . Any feedback on this type of program would be much appreciated.

I'm not an educator.

I hope you'll try this. In most states, it's free. I do think that it would require parental supervision, certainly in the beginning at the very least. If you and your spouse both work, there's no reason that supervision couldn't happen after work, in my opinion.

If I were thinking of enrolling my child in this program, I'd be quick to ask for references -- and possibly from parents with children who have similar social problems as yours.

I wish you the very best of luck; it's wonderful that you're trying to hard to find a solution.

 

[azgreg]

Pretty discouraging day so far. I like the concept of that school (and so does my son), but the reviews and test scores are terrible. Back to the drawing board.