One thing I learned this week

[ChrisL]

You don't really need to be taught how to cook, clean, do laundry, shop for groceries, vaccuum and otherwise "manage or maintain a home".

Well, maybe if you're an idiot you do, but if you've got any kind of head on your shoulders you can figure it out for yourself with a few weeks of OJT when you get your first appartment.

I was able to, and seeing as how I'm a guy I suspect that women, who are genetically predisposed to housework (right?), would be even quicker studies.

Lol! Funny, I was thinking the same thing. He thinks that women are completely incompetent morons apparently.

BTW, I'm just hopeful that the comment in bold was just a joke. :mrgreen:

 

[Tigger]

So, why do you specify women in your statement? Shouldn't that statement, as off-kilter as it may be, be non-gender specific?

The roles of men and women differ in the home as in the rest of world.

 

[notquiteright]

My wife could barely stand to take 2 weeks off after giving birth and part of that time was spent moving. She came from a SAHM house, my wife can cook like crazy, clean and 'manage' the house- but she never wanted to be a stay at home mom.

I had spent many years running free and i can cook, clean, do laundry, shop and budget- though most of the preceding is done to a level my wife just rolls her eyes at.

What I think many older anal retentive types view as 'not taught' is not as experienced so they know the finer points of whatever household chore the AR thinks needs to be done at a higher degree of proficiency. (or more likely not done the way the AR thinks it should be)

Howsomever when it comes to teaching someone to like doing something, I think the best one can hope for is conditioning someone to accept having to do the chore. I was taught to do a lot of disgusting things while a NCO stood nearby- but in no way should being conditioned to do the task be considered liking it...

Wives are not privates and most are quick to point that out- as my wife has said a few times, "don't like the way I do it? Doing it your own self!"

 

[Stace]

I've been a stay at home wife/mother for almost 8 years now. While I'm glad I've had this time with my children, I'm definitely looking forward to finishing school and going back to work. I thought being a SAHM would be perfect for me, but it turns out it's not. I'm very isolated; chatting with people on forums like this is the majority of my social interaction, especially now that we've moved. I'm not good at just sitting and playing with my kids; most of their toys bore me to tears. I hate cleaning and cooking because either the kids are right behind me messing things up, or they don't want to eat what I've made. I get very little time all to myself and that can wear a person out. I'm looking forward to finally having both kids in school in a couple of weeks, because I can structure my days a little more.

This is a huge problem with society these days. Working moms aren't supposed to actually LIKE being working moms, and SAHMs aren't supposed to admit that it's not all roses and sunshine.

 

[MMC]

I learned that they are more things that come along and makes thinking, getting Old.....Sucks!

 

[GottaGo]

The roles of men and women differ in the home as in the rest of world.

Perhaps by your definition, but not by everybodys. Those that try to force everybody into their preconceived notions regarding gender usually suffer the worst backlash to say nothing of looking quite foolish.

 

[Tigger]

Perhaps by your definition, but not by everybodys. Those that try to force everybody into their preconceived notions regarding gender usually suffer the worst backlash to say nothing of looking quite foolish.

I can't help it if other people choose to embrace improper viewpoi ts and lifestyles. Nothing I can do about that.

 

[GottaGo]

I can't help it if other people choose to embrace improper viewpoi ts and lifestyles. Nothing I can do about that.

Improper? What is improper about any parent regardless of gender doing what is necessary to support their family?
Would you rather that instead of working, a woman stay home and collect welfare then support the family?
Oh, the shame of it all. (Sarcasm included)

 

[Tigger]

Improper? What is improper about any parent regardless of gender doing what is necessary to support their family?
Would you rather that instead of working, a woman stay home and collect welfare then support the family?
Oh, the shame of it all. (Sarcasm included)

That is what extended families are for... Parents, siblings, uncles and aunts, etc.... To take in those family mbers who are no longer in a situation to support themselves. Such as a female fily member after a divorce.

 

[GottaGo]

That is what extended families are for... Parents, siblings, uncles and aunts, etc.... To take in those family mbers who are no longer in a situation to support themselves. Such as a female fily member after a divorce.

Why ask others to do what a member of the primary family unit is perfectly capable of doing?

 

[Tigger]

Why ask others to do what a member of the primary family unit is perfectly capable of doing?

It's not about what people CAN do. It's about what people SHOULD do. The sort of lifestyle one ought to be engaging in rather than what they want to do with their lives.

 

[Dr. Chuckles]

How about men who don't learn household skills because they think they'll never need them. How do you view that?

Such time contemplating this enigma would be more enjoyable with a sandwich

 

[GottaGo]

It's not about what people CAN do. It's about what people SHOULD do. The sort of lifestyle one ought to be engaging in rather than what they want to do with their lives.

By your judgment only. Considering the op, and what is publicly known about her situation, you are entirely out of line in your statement.
Even if it were not a necessity, who are you to judge what she should be doing with her life?

 

[Tigger]

By your judgment only. Considering the op, and what is publicly known about her situation, you are entirely out of line in your statement.
Even if it were not a necessity, who are you to judge what she should be doing with her life?

I'm not here to judge. What should be was determined thousands of years ago when our ancestors started banding together into tribes and clans. As for being out of line.... Your society considers the exists de of people like me to be out of line as a matter of fact, so I'm not sure how much difference m comments make to that end.

 

[DiAnna]

Hijacking in progress.

Derailment imminent.

 

[Mr.Nick]

Really?

What benefit is she providing the kids (teenagers old enough to be mostly self sufficient) by being home all day when they aren't? Could it be that being able to provide little things like a roof over their heads, a bed to sleep in, heat in the winter and cooling in the summer, a refrigerator full of food, equipment for sporting activities, access to arts and cultural events, etc. is also important? Would she be providing ANY of that if all she did was sit there on the couch and make cooing noises at them?

I can't believe the **** that comes out of some people's keyboards around here.:censored

Sorry I figured a mother would be thrilled to either a) spend time with her children b) get bored if her children are grown or c) deal with bordem by talking to us insane people.

 

[Lutherf]

Sorry I figured a mother would be thrilled to either a) spend time with her children b) get bored if her children are grown or c) deal with bordem by talking to us insane people.

Your comment implied that if she wasn't at home with her children that she was a "horrible mother". That's completely different than what you just came up with here.

Look, in the land of rainbows and ponies every family would have a mommy who was there every day and never got sick and never got tired. They would have a daddy that provided for all their financial needs and was home by 5:00 every evening for dinner where he could then impart the wisdom of the world to his family in readily understandable terms and with just enough humor to make the point stick.

Do you know wher that actually happens? NOWHERE!!!! It's a freaking fantasy! It just flat out doesn't happen!!!

So what do we do then? Well, we do the best we can with situation we've got. That might mean giving the kids additional responsibilities and working extra hours but a "good parent" does whatever it takes to keep the idea of that fantasy pony world family in play. Everybody knows we won't get there but we try. When we've got a few extra minutes we talk to our kids and tell them we love them. We have expectations for our kids and encourage them to meet those expectations. We answer their questions and concerns to the best of our ability even when we're tired and could really use some alone time. Then, one day, one of our kids works their own way through a sticky situation showing maturity and good judgement and all those extra hours of work and sacrifice become worth it.

To pass judgement on someone's parenting skills based on something so simple as "she/he works a lot" is unfair and ridiculously judgmental....to say nothing of being impolite and generally thoughtless. Perhaps, since you seem to have missed out on those basic principles of decency, you should reevaluate your own upbringing.