Alex has it pretty much right. Your example is pretty flawed, ProudAmerican....because see, blacks were still allowed to drink out of water fountains. They just had their own. That actually illustrates MY point rather well. Separate water fountains, but hey, everyone was allowed to drink out of water fountain, no one was denied that, they just had to drink out of the proper fountains. Gays aren't allowed any sort of marriage or civil union except in select areas. Therefore, they aren't even granted the same rights as the rest of us. And it's not like the act of a black person drinking out of a water fountain had different terminology than the act of a white person drinking out of a water fountain.
And here is where you would enter what Alex has said. While I would love to see gay marriage come about, civil unions would make me just as happy, as long as all of the laws were the same and they weren't treated any differently. I mean, honestly, it is just a freaking word that people are quibbling over. A WORD!! Don't you people see how silly that is? The meanings of words change and evolve over time. I mean, heck, my dictionary here at home, I've had it for about 10 years now....and it doesn't even specify that marriage is between a man and a woman, it says "the legal union of two people in wedlock". Back in the day, "gay" was only used to mean "happy"...."fag" used to refer to a cigarette, and now it's used in a derogatory manner towards gays.
But I don't care about the terminology. People are going to call it what they want either way. Just afford them the same rights the rest of us have, that's the important matter at hand.