I understand your feelings, but it isn't exactly happening or not as it appears to you. I'm not defending FEMA - Fix Everything My Ass - but they are working night and day to keep people alive. Comfort is waaaaaaaaay on down their list of priorities. As to looters and all that madness, that's a local and maybe a state issue.
How many people in your MIL's town were prepared for the hurricane? Your MIL and neighbors all had a minimum of 72 hours worth of food, water, meds, dog and/or cat food, batteries, candles, home defense weapons, ammo, home defense training, a solar over or maybe an inexpensive or homemade rocket stove, propane, toilet paper and the like all ready and accessible? That was their minimum responsibility, and that information has been well publicized for years. They were also warned in advance to prepare and would have been wise to prepare for about 2 weeks of life without assistance. Extra boxes of Twinkies, bags of Doritos, 2 extra gallons of milk and 5 extra pounds of chicken isn't preparation.
The gun laws in NJ and the public attitude to self defense is not something I am familiar with. However, if the local and state laws make it difficult to legally use a firearm defend one's home against looting that is not a FEMA issue either. That's a local and/or state issue.
I hope your MIL comes through this OK.