If it was a choice, EW, could you not simply decide that from now on I am going to be attracted to males rather than females? I certainly cant make such a choice. I am attracted to women and there is really nothing I can do about it if i tried. I dont even have a choice in which women I find attractive and which women I dont.
The "choice" I'm talking about is something I believe we're all tempted with - particularly during our growth into and through adolescence - and certainly to varying degrees, depending on the individual. Call it curiosity, or whatever; it's a temptation akin to being drawn to do that which we're told (by others, by our consciences..) NOT to do, or told isn't acceptable, or that it's somehow wrong - the very notion that it is wrong is itself a temptation to try it out - the child who's told not to touch the burner, lest they get burned - so they touch the burner; not because they wanted to touch it, but because they wanted the choice (and hence the control) to be theirs, not someone else's.
Which means it's not a choice of value, of respect, or admiration, or some other higher virtue; no, the temptation is actually just the opposite and quite base.
At its core, it is pure selfishness. It targets our sense of wanting to feel personal pleasure, physical or otherwise, and that irrespective of the object expected to satisfy it (hence the selfish aspect of it).
The issue is not whether one is emotionally drawn or attracted to the opposite sex (because again,
however slight the degree, that temptation has met each of us); the issue is how one addresses (or chooses to address) the base [physical] temptation in that regard which they know is not "right," whether or not to yield to it and thus seek or deny whatever momentary pleasure it may promise.
For some, the temptation may only be as I said - a flicker, a flash-in-the-pan temptation that is easily and readily [and permanently] dismissed - which I daresay is the way it was for most of us. For some though it can be stronger, not so easily dismissed, a function of a variety of different influences in one's life that have absolutely nothing to do with what attracts us to others; weak father figure, over bearing mother, poor training in self-control, some other "influence" emotional or psychological - any number of things - not the least of which being the culture in which one lives during their adolescence.
Take today's culture for instance, the influence to "give in" to such temptations is practically worshiped - kids are taught it's perfectly normal, taught to indulge, taught they were "born that way," that they "deserve" such pleasures; they're chastised if they go against the prevailing dogma concerning it, as are their parents and society in general. They're even encouraged towards sex. Nothing is "taboo" anymore. Heck, they're even being pushed towards 'becoming' their temptations, to the point of identifying with them.
That's the realm of "choice" I'm talking about. I do not believe it's normal for men to have sex with men, or women with women. All "exceptions" aside, such behavior I believe is abnormal - and I believe we're all tempted with it to however slight the degree during our adolescence, and that giving in to such temptations - regardless the reason(s) - is fundamentally, and necessarily a choice - and for some, those choices can add up, leading to a lifestyle.
