When Chris Mandeville was 24, he made a confession.
Following his college graduation, the LaPorte, Ind., native found "home" at a church in Chicago.
Shortly thereafter, he divulged the secret of his homosexual feelings to a Christian counselor.
That counselor referred him to Overcomers, an "ex-gay ministry" designed to assist individuals in resolving homosexual tendencies.
Though cynical at the outset, Mandeville regularly attended weekly meetings of the group. Encouraging participants to develop "normal" relationships with men and establish support groups to hinder them from "acting out," or engaging in homosexual relationships, Overcomer's leaders lauded the ability of prayer, fellowship and the Holy Spirit to modify homosexual behavior.
"I went hoping it would help me resolve these feeling once and for all so I could move on with my life," he said.
But six months later, something changed. Realizing he didn't really conform to the group's teachings, Mandeville left.
"I just realized after several months and then talking to people who were OK with being gay that this group really didn't make sense," he recalls. "It was really a relief to leave."
Chris' story is not unique. Each year, thousands of gays and lesbians turn to such forms of "conversion therapy" to help "overcome" homosexual tendencies.
Now, a controversial study claiming homosexuals can choose to turn straight has sparked a heated national debate between right-wing religious groups and gay rights activists. Conducted by Columbia University professor Dr. Robert Spitzer and presented at last week's American Psychiactric Association meeting, the study traced more than 200 men and women's sexual behavior during a 12 to 14-year period.
Spitzer reported at the study's conclusion that 66 percent of men and 44 percent of women achieved "heterosexual functioning," through "prayer, therapy and mentoring relationships."
"Heterosexual functioning" is characterized by being in a sustained, loving heterosexual relationship within the past year, getting enough satisfaction from the emotional relationship with their partner to rate at least seven on a 10-point scale, having satisfying heterosexual sex at least monthly and never or rarely thinking of somebody of the same sex while having heterosexual sex.
Homosexual advocacy groups such as the Human Rights Campaign have taken a firm position against the study's findings, deeming them "unscientific" and "profoundly biased." The HRC and other groups like it have condemned Spitzer's personal views on homosexuality and his alleged ties to right-wing political organizations as detrimental to the study's credibility.
"The so-called study is snake oil packaged as science," Tim McFeeler, political director for the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force, told the Human Rights Campaign Tuesday.
The HRC also decries the study for being based in the "Christian right."
"The Christian right has claimed for years that sexual orientation is a mutable characteristic -- but only when it comes to homosexuality," the HRC stated in a 1999 dissertation entitled "Mission Impossible: Why Reparative Therapy and Ex-Hate Ministries Fail."
Gay rights groups have also derided the study as statistically inaccurate, claiming the subjects were "hand-selected." According to the HRC, only 17 percent on the men and 55 percent of women tested said they were "entirely heterosexual" following five years of treatment. The HRC also warns against the psychological aspects associated with conversion therapy.
According to clinical studies conducted by the American Psychiatric Association, individuals seeking conversion therapy can do so as a result of homophobic social biases. The report suggests that gay men and lesbians who are able to accept their orientation positively are better adjusted than those who attempt to "change" their sexuality.
The APA publicly condemned the practice in 1998, stating conversion therapy fails to recognize alternative approaches to dealing with social stigmas against homosexuals.
The HRC study went on to claim religious political organizations utilize the issue of homosexuality to attract benefactors. It cited the use of political advertisements featuring "converted heterosexuals" subsidized by religious groups as an example.
In one such advertisement, Senate Minority Leader Trent Lott compares homosexuals to alcoholics, kleptomaniacs and sex addicts.
The HRC further attacked Spitzer's study, claiming 43 percent of the subjects were recommended by ex-gay ministries.
Manipulation lies at the root of such organizations, said Doug Bauder, coordinator of student services in IU's Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgender Office.
"We all want what's best for our kids, but it's a misunderstanding, a control thing," Bauder said. "That often stems from a family's conservative religious background, and those family and religious ties run very deep."
It's an experience to which Bauder himself can relate.
"With prayer, reading and conversation with others I began to hear God's voice telling me, 'Doug, I'm not expecting you to change, I'm just expecting you to live your life honestly, authentically and responsibly.'"
For Bauder, living within those parameters means maintaining healthy relationships and behaviors. He believes sexual orientation exists separate of the freedom to modify those behaviors, and to change that integral part of a person's composition would prove destructive and dangerous.
But for others such as Mandeville, positive benefits can surface from involvement in such groups.
"It helped me learn about myself and decide what I really believe," he said. "I don't think it was the most safe, productive way to do this, but it worked for me. I still had a hard time coming to terms with it even after I left, but I knew that an ex-gay ministry wasn't for me. "
Bauder maintains other, healthier alternatives exist to conversion therapy, however.
"If people are unhappy with their lives, there can be ways to assist in that," Bauder said. "But this is about an attempt to change a person's nature."
Mandeville agrees. "Like a lot of other people I've talked to, I think you can change behavior, but not who you are," he said. "The mind is very powerful and we can convince ourselves of almost anything we want to. If a person really believes they have changed and they are happy, then fine. But I believe we are whole and perfect as we are. There's nothing to fix."
Courage International, a Roman Catholic ministry aimed at assisting individuals in overcoming homosexual tendencies, discourages labels such as "gay" and "lesbian," claiming such generalizations lead people to believe they are locked into a specific sexual preference. The group claims some people, especially young adults, are "able to further their psychosexual development with spiritual and psychological aid," according to the group's Web site.
The group further defines such labels as "reductionist" methods of referring to individuals. Courage claims all people are "first and foremost children of God," and referring to them as gay or lesbian implies an unchaste lifestyle.
The National Association for the Research and Therapy of Homosexuality adheres to such perceptions, stating social and psychological factors may influence sexually curious young adults by encouraging labeling.
The keys to change, NARTH asserts, are "desire, persistence, and a willingness to investigate the conscious and unconscious conflicts from which the condition originated." While NARTH acknowledges change might come slowly, they claim clients gradually "grow into" their heterosexual potential.
