I wonder how many soldiers would have stated, or perhaps did not, re-enlist or seek to join the military immediately before and after segregation was ended? Probably a fair number to be concerned, however it happened and in the end it obviously made the military stronger. Soldiers, sailors, marines, and airmen put up with and deal with willingly conditions and situations which no would deny are tough, and from my experience people in those situation quickly forget about the stuff that doesn't really matter. And what your fellow soldier doesn't in his private time is one of those things. I can't think of a single instance in American history where making the military both more inclusive and egalitarian has harmed it.
Take into consideration that Mark Bingham, who was one of the leaders of the attempted takeover of United 93 on 9/11, was an openly gay man. However he clearly showed all the qualities necessary to being a good soldier, but would have never been allowed to join the service. Should a person of that quality be denied a chance to serve his country in the military if he wanted?
And lets also remember that only military has a DADT policy, or any kind of special consideration of gay individuals. One could be gay and join the CIA, FBI, police forces, be elected to any public office, or literally do anything that anyone here would consider "service to one's country" but they can't be in the military because soldiers might not like it? Bull****. If Americans literally everywhere can "put up" with a gay person as a co-worker, colleague, or anywhere else in their life than soldiers, who are these same Americans, can to.