Do you have an obligation to tell your one night stand if you are transexual?

[Omgitsme]

Yes, it has. If a male person knows that I am straight and pretends to be female to have sex with me, then they have knowingly violated my sexual orientation. I am now a victim of their callous deceit, and will more than likely bear the consequences mentally and emotionally for a long, long time.

Ummm, yep. A straight man who has just been tricked into having gay sex. Hence the violation and the outrage.

By the social definition of gender, arguably, according to them. But you and I both know that a transsexual woman is still biologically male. It is a fact. I know the difference between gender and sex, and I'm talking about sex.

I don't care whether they feel it should be a big deal to me or not. They are not stupid. They know full well that it IS a VERY big deal to the vast majority of straight men in the world. If they didn't believe that, then there would be no reason to be afraid to be open about it in the first place, for fear of rejection. We wouldn't even be having this discussion. That fear of rejection that necessitates secrecy exists because they know most men would reject them sexually if they knew. So, knowing that a man would likely not have sex with them because their biological sex IS an important factor to him, and then lying by omission to fool him into the sex anyway, is deceitful and wrong. It shows zero respect for him as a person, his wishes, his sexual orientation, and the ramifications this might have on him afterwards. It is a conscious decision to ignore all that, and get what they want from him anyway.

By the way, why don't we just apply that same reasoning to any immoral transgression people commit against others? Sure, I robbed you, but I didn't mean any harm. I just didn't think the thing I stole was something you'd miss. It just didn't seem like a big deal to me, so I did it.


I agree, and I'd tell my story in court and face the outcome. Sometimes a certain degree of criminal act is justifiable IMO, given certain circumstances. That doesn't mean it shouldn't also carry with it the proper penalties. In high school I once beat a kid's ass pretty bad for calling my sister a really nasty, degrading name. Was it technically a crime? Yes. Did I get suspended and have to do probation? Of course. But I still believe I did the right thing, and I'd do it again.

Transsexuals are not pretending to be a sex they are not.

Its not gay sex its straight sex.

Biologically transwomen are female. Genetically no. But there are women who were born women but are genetically men but they are still considered female. Genetics is just one of the factors that determine someones sex.

Look im telling you their mindset but Im not trying to say I understand it completely. But when you compare sleeping with a transwoman and theft you are comparing something that is a crime to something that isnt. Apples and oranges.

 

[Omgitsme]

If you thought you were a male, you would have mimicked males. You would not catch yourself sitting in a feminine way, because you would have always done it in a masculine way. Acting feminine means you identified with females and mimicked their behavior.

Lol I do identify with females. Im a MTF.

 

[Mya]

Transsexuals are not pretending to be a sex they are not.

Its not gay sex its straight sex.

Biologically transwomen are female. Genetically no. But there are women who were born women but are genetically men but they are still considered female. Genetics is just one of the factors that determine someones sex.

Look im telling you their mindset but Im not trying to say I understand it completely. But when you compare sleeping with a transwoman and theft you are comparing something that is a crime to something that isnt. Apples and oranges.

Sweet... just tell tell them if you were born a man or a woman.... that is all it takes ... that's ok right? what's the problem?

What is the problem...

 

[Omgitsme]

Sweet... just tell tell them if you were born a man or a woman.... that is all it takes ... that's ok right? what's the problem?

What is the problem...

I do. The problem is when people think its acceptable to be violent towards someone who doesnt.

 

[Mya]

I do. The problem is when people think its acceptable to be violent towards someone who doesnt.

No... violence is never accepted. But then if somebody has been lied to... I put myself in his shoes...it's not a nice feeling Omgitsme... have your fun...but be honest darling!

 

[Omgitsme]

No... violence is never accepted. But then if somebody has been lied to... I put myself in his shoes...it's not a nice feeling Omgitsme... have your fun...but be honest darling!

I know you dont think violence is acceptable. But others on this thread have stated that it is. Thats where my problem lies. With them. I can understand how someone might be angry if they slept with a transsexual and what not but I just cant understand how someone can condone violence against a transsexual because they slept with them.

 

[Connery]

Lol I do identify with females. Im a MTF.

As an MTf would you disclose that to your sex partner without being asked to do so?

 

[Omgitsme]

As an MTf would you disclose that to your sex partner without being asked to do so?

Yes. As I have stated I believe they should know. Plus I dont want to end up dead because I didnt. I have an OK cupid account where the first thing I mention is that I am trans.

 

[Mya]

I know you dont think violence is acceptable. But others on this thread have stated that it is. Thats where my problem lies. With them. I can understand how someone might be angry if they slept with a transsexual and what not but I just cant understand how someone can condone violence against a transsexual because they slept with them.

Well..I know what you are saying.... but I can only put myself in their places.... if I was a man and somebody says to me she is a woman ...and she was born a man... and I go to bed with him/her.... I am going to be angry ....very angry to find out the truth ... people do not like lies .... and sexual lies are the worst.... some kill because of it.... I am not condoning killing because somebody said he was a woman and not a man....but I do understand the rage.....

It's human nature Omgitsme.... people do not like to be lied about things when it comes to sex.

 

[Connery]

Yes. As I have stated I believe they should know. Plus I dont want to end up dead because I didnt. I have an OK cupid account where the first thing I mention is that I am trans.

As I would disclose any material information as it relates to the sex act. That is just the right thing to do.

 

[Omgitsme]

Well..I know what you are saying.... but I can only put myself in their places.... if I was a man and somebody says to me she is a woman ...and she was born a man... and I go to bed with him/her.... I am going to be angry ....very angry to find out the truth ... people do not like lies .... and sexual lies are the worst.... some kill because of it.... I am not condoning killing because somebody said he was a woman and not a man....but I do understand the rage.....

It's human nature Omgitsme.... people do not like to be lied about things when it comes to sex.

Angry I can understand and I have no real problem with. But for them to condone violence in this scenario is inexcusable and is an overreaction. But there are no lies involved here.

 

[Omgitsme]

As I would disclose any material information as it relates to the sex act. That is just the right thing to do.

It certainly is.

 

[NitroHangover]

Transsexuals are not pretending to be a sex they are not.

Yes. They are. They can decide to be whatever "gender" they please to identify with, but we are born with our sex. It is in our DNA, our chromosomes, our skeletal structures, our organs, our hormones, bla bla bla. It's everywhere. If scientists dug up the skeletal remains of a MTF transgender 500 years from now, they'd be able to tell in about a dozen different ways that this person was MALE.

Its not gay sex its straight sex.

No. It's a biologically male person having sex with a biologically male person. It's gay sex, even if a makeshift "vagina" is involved.

Biologically transwomen are female. Genetically no. But there are women who were born women but are genetically men but they are still considered female. Genetics is just one of the factors that determine someones sex.

Yeah, yeah, I know, I know. I've read you posting this about 8,000 times in this thread. Here's the thing about all these exceptions to the rule that you talk about. Someone brings up that TGs still have man hands; you say well there are a few women with man hands. Someone brings up that TGs have male shoulders; you say well there are a few women with male shoulders. Someone brings up XY chromosomes; you say well there are like 11 people in the world who are female but have XY chromosomes. Someone brings up this and that; you say well there are some women with this and that. OK fine. Sure, there are occasional rarities out there where real women may display one of these male traits, or even a couple of them. One or two little maleish qualities on a woman who is in every other way female and was BORN female, is one thing. BUT, when you have a "woman" who has ALL of these male traits, and even after painstaking surgeries and mutilations many plainly remain, it's because that person IS. A. MAN.

Look im telling you their mindset but Im not trying to say I understand it completely. But when you compare sleeping with a transwoman and theft you are comparing something that is a crime to something that isnt. Apples and oranges.

The fact that one is against the law and the other isn't doesn't matter in regards to what we are talking about here. I was talking about morality, and illustrating that the transgressor having the attitude that what they did wasn't a big deal does not excuse it in the eyes of their victim. In order to illustrate that point, I used an analogy with something I'm sure you find morally reprehensible: theft. Regardless of the law, would you not still be outraged if someone stole from you and then tried to justify it by saying they just didn't think it was a big deal and don't think you should be upset about it? Would that not, to you as the victim, feel like a slap in the face, and a total disregard of you as a person and YOUR feelings in the matter?

 

[Mya]

Angry I can understand and I have no real problem with. But for them to condone violence in this scenario is inexcusable and is an overreaction. But there are no lies involved here.

Human nature is such a fragile thing..... People get angry and kill for even lesser lies .....why risk it lying that you were born a woman if you were born a man?

It is dangerous out there .... people like to be told the truth... in everything.... and I do not blame them.

 

[Henrin]

DNA is only one factor that determines sex. There are women who were born women with XY chromosomes.

You do realize that is rare and you do realize they were BORN that way right? They really aren't female either, so it doesn't even do anything to his point. Its a stupid point that someone learned about and thought they could use it somehow in defense of this. It does not defend anything and it doesn't make someone the opposite sex just because they have a surgery. They STILL are male even AFTER the surgery and I did not sign up to sleep with a MALE.

 

[Omgitsme]

Yes. They are. They can decide to be whatever "gender" they please to identify with, but we are born with our sex. It is in our DNA, our chromosomes, our skeletal structures, our organs, our hormones, bla bla bla. It's everywhere. If scientists dug up the skeletal remains of a MTF transgender 500 years from now, they'd be able to tell in about a dozen different ways that this person was MALE.

We are born with a sex yes. No reason on why we cant change it. Chromosomes are just one factor in determining sex as I have said. And MTFs have some female organs but not all. They also have female hormone levels. You are right about skeletal structure though. However there are women with skeletal structures that are pretty manly and there are males with skeletal structures that are womanly. If you start HRT or puberty blockers early enough you dont really develop a male skeletal structure.

No. It's a biologically male person having sex with a biologically male person. It's gay sex, even if a makeshift "vagina" is involved.

Transsexuals are not biologically male and I dont see why it matters if its a surgically constructed vagina or not.

Yeah, yeah, I know, I know. I've read you posting this about 8,000 times in this thread. Here's the thing about all these exceptions to the rule that you talk about. Someone brings up that TGs still have man hands; you say well there are a few women with man hands. Someone brings up that TGs have male shoulders; you say well there are a few women with male shoulders. Someone brings up XY chromosomes; you say well there are like 11 people in the world who are female but have XY chromosomes. Someone brings up this and that; you say well there are some women with this and that. OK fine. Sure, there are occasional rarities out there where real women may display one of these male traits, or even a couple of them. One or two little maleish qualities on a woman who is in every other way female and was BORN female, is one thing. BUT, when you have a "woman" who has ALL of these male traits, and even after painstaking surgeries and mutilations many plainly remain, it's because that person IS. A. MAN.

Holy ****! Someone actually addressed my points ive been making to every single goddamned post that says transwomen arnt women! I honestly am happy you did so because it was so annoying repeating that point over and over and over just to have it ignored.

You can find transsexuals with tons of male like features you are right about that. But most transsexuals dont have tons of male features. Most transsexuals have more feminine features then masculine features. Especially if they started taking hormones or puberty blockers early in life. And there are women out there who display less feminine traits then the average transsexual. Does that mean they arnt women?

P.S. There are quite a bit of women in the world with AIS. The statistics for AIS are about one in 13,000. And if you are looking at people born with some sort of chromosomal abnormality its more like one in 100.

NOVA | The Intersex Spectrum

The fact that one is against the law and the other isn't doesn't matter in regards to what we are talking about here. I was talking about morality, and illustrating that the transgressor having the attitude that what they did wasn't a big deal does not excuse it in the eyes of their victim. In order to illustrate that point, I used an analogy with something I'm sure you find morally reprehensible: theft. Regardless of the law, would you not still be outraged if someone stole from you and then tried to justify it by saying they just didn't think it was a big deal and don't think you should be upset about it? Would that not, to you as the victim, feel like a slap in the face, and a total disregard of you as a person and YOUR feelings in the matter?

Its completely different morally as well. You consented to the sex. You did not consent to the person stealing something.

Im not saying that is isnt in some way shape or form wrong for a transsexual to not tell their partner that they are trans. I am stating that violence is an overreaction and is no in any way shape or for acceptable in that situation.

One last thing. What do you believe determines someones sex and why?

 

[Omgitsme]

You do realize that is rare and you do realize they were BORN that way right? They really aren't female either, so it doesn't even do anything to his point. Its a stupid point that someone learned about and thought they could use it somehow in defense of this. It does not defend anything and it doesn't make someone the opposite sex just because they have a surgery. They STILL are male even AFTER the surgery and I did not sign up to sleep with a MALE.

You may not think that someone with AIS is female but they are. The medical community agree with that. But why does it matter if someone is born that way or not or if its rare? They still have the same genetic, physical, and biological traits as a transwoman. Why does it matter if it was through HRT and SRS?

 

[Omgitsme]

Human nature is such a fragile thing..... People get angry and kill for even lesser lies .....why risk it lying that you were born a woman if you were born a man?

It is dangerous out there .... people like to be told the truth... in everything.... and I do not blame them.

I dont take that risk.

 

[Omgitsme]

Specifically;
voice training
re-learning your body language and mannerisms
re-learning the entire language of fashion and how to dress
rediscovering your sexuality
The very idea of 'passing'

If they thought they were women, they wouldn't need it. Its part of the acting lessons.

BTW you should have kept reading to myth number 10 and actually read the link in that blog you posted earlier lol. Honestly one of the best jobs I have ever seen at explaining why transwomen are female.

Bilaterally Gynandromorphic Chickens, and Why I’m Not “Scientifically” Male - Skepchick

Edit: And if you would have followed the link in myth 4 you would have come across a video of a transwoman who does a damn good job at making a case that transwomen are not obligated to tell their partners that they are trans unless they ask.

 

[Henrin]

You may not think that someone with AIS is female but they are. The medical community agree with that. But why does it matter if someone is born that way or not or if its rare? They still have the same genetic, physical, and biological traits as a transwoman. Why does it matter if it was through HRT and SRS?

Because being born with XY chromosomes and having surgery and hormones therapy to be like these people are in different universes. I also don't see how the medical community can agree that these people are female.

 

[Henrin]

..and I dont see why it matters if its a surgically constructed vagina or not.

Because the real thing is the real thing and I'm not into man made vaginas. If I wanted a man made vagina I would go to the store and buy one.

 

[Omgitsme]

Because being born with XY chromosomes and having surgery and hormones therapy to be like these people are in different universes. I also don't see how the medical community can agree that these people are female.

That doesnt really answer my question. And the answer to your second part is because chromosomes arnt the only thing that determine your sex.

 

[Omgitsme]

Because the real thing is the real thing and I'm not into man made vaginas. If I wanted a man made vagina I would go to the store and buy one.

You realize it is pretty much indistinguishable from a normal vagina and that is made from the same tissue right?

 

[Henrin]

That doesnt really answer my question. And the answer to your second part is because chromosomes arnt the only thing that determine your sex.

The last time I checked nothing about these women is actually female so what are they using? Am I to believe that people being born with testes is female? Bull****. An apple is an apple and a mutated apple is STILL an apple. It doesn't just become an orange when its NOT an orange. Wishing on the stars doesn't make it so either.

 

[Henrin]

You realize it is pretty much indistinguishable from a normal vagina and that is made from the same tissue right?

You do realize I don't care, right? I want the real thing and that is not it.