Did you ever have to change your attitude?

[ab9924]

I am noticing that I am getting more and more arrogant, to the point that I talk down on people very badly, when they are in some sort of an authority over me, when they ask for results. Typically teachers or others that I depend on. I analyzed myself and I found that I do this because of my sub-consciencious hope that I can control their decisions about me that way. But what I really achieve with this is always the opposite of what I want. This has become my habit and nature at this time. How do you snap out of it when you have a problem with yourself? Thanks a lot for all your ideas, in advance.

 

[wolfman24]

Over the last 35 years I have willingly or in some cases unwillingly had to change my attitude. I consider it to be part of "growing up". I beleive in using my brain and when something I think or believe in no longer makes sense or is inappropriate I am willing to change how I view it and my attitude towards it. Sometimes its minor sometimes not. Sometimes its hard sometimes not. It variable.

 

[lizzie]

You identify the problem within yourself, resolve it, and it's underlying issues, then the need to control will vanish. You would probably be surprised at the number of people who operate from this basis.

 

[Luke Skywalker]

I am noticing that I am getting more and more arrogant, to the point that I talk down on people very badly, when they are in some sort of an authority over me, when they ask for results. Typically teachers or others that I depend on. I analyzed myself and I found that I do this because of my sub-consciencious hope that I can control their decisions about me that way. But what I really achieve with this is always the opposite of what I want. This has become my habit and nature at this time. How do you snap out of it when you have a problem with yourself? Thanks a lot for all your ideas, in advance.

Been changing (or, at least trying to change) me own attitude lately - I can be arrogant and obnoxious (people have even told me before that I have a high opinion of myself) at times, or at least come across that way when it was not my original intention.... For instance, when I post in these forums sometimes, I can come across as a "know it all" when I am just trying to be understanding and nice to others with different perspectives than mine. So, I have a big problem with myself lately (but, I'm working on it)... How do I snap out of it? I tell myself two things:

1) It's not about me - my arrogance is based on selfishness and thinking that the knowledge I possess is the final word, when it's not even the beginning. What do I mean by that? Damned if I know, but it sounded good. My point is that I'm no better or worse than others and we all struggle with at times just what you are struggling with. We all have different personalities - have you ever taken the Myers Briggs type indicator test? That may just be a good place to start - knowing what personality traits you have will give you insight into why you do the things you do..... There are no "good or bad" personality types - and there is a niche out there for everyone.

2) I know nothing - AND the more I learn, the more I realize just that.

Look, arrogance and talking down to others are not necessarily done on purpose - It could be something in your sub-conscious mind (be it a certain fear/worry, etc.) that is causing you to behave that way. Personality wise, you seem like a nice person - I hope you find your answers...

 

[wolfman24]

You identify the problem within yourself, resolve it, and it's underlying issues, then the need to control will vanish. You would probably be surprised at the number of people who operate from this basis.

Like me as i stated

 

[Helix]

yes. in my teens and part of my 20s, i was often depressed, cynical, and negative. i discovered that more people want to be around you when you can bring something positive to the table, and that you'll encounter less problems to be depressed and angry about if you're a genuinely positive force.

i still have some room to improve, but my attitude now is much better than it was then. i still have depression and anxiety issues due to OCD, but for the most part i know how to deal with them. if i feel that i can't be positive, i generally remove myself from social situations until i can recharge on my own.

i've also found that while it's good to have friends to lean on, your friends continue to be your friends because of something you add to their life that they like. they'll be there for you, but if you're always negative, friends tend to just not be around you as often. after erring on the wrong side of that equation briefly, i'm now erring on the other. i'm simply not that comfortable discussing my problems or being depressed around my friends anymore. i feel lucky to have the brain that i have; it has some quirks, but i think it also has the computational power to think around those quirks. i try to do it more on my own now. if something serious happens, i'm sure my friends will be attentive to that, but i definitely don't want to be someone who is constantly projecting drama in order to harvest attention.

 

[MaggieD]

I am noticing that I am getting more and more arrogant, to the point that I talk down on people very badly, when they are in some sort of an authority over me, when they ask for results. Typically teachers or others that I depend on. I analyzed myself and I found that I do this because of my sub-consciencious hope that I can control their decisions about me that way. But what I really achieve with this is always the opposite of what I want. This has become my habit and nature at this time. How do you snap out of it when you have a problem with yourself? Thanks a lot for all your ideas, in advance.

You're like the waitress who works for tips and insults her customers.

How do you snap out of it? Just decide you're going to "act as if you're a nice, polite guy." You're probably pretty good at acting. And, eventually? It won't be an act.

 

[ab9924]

Thanks all, I am learning a great deal from everyone here.
You all are the best.

 

[ecofarm]

Thanks all, I am learning a great deal from everyone here.
You all are the best.

I presume you spend most of your time in the Basement.


ps. Read rules, and never mention anything specific from that sub-forum.

 

[MaggieD]

I presume you spend most of your time in the Basement.


ps. Read rules, and never mention anything specific from that sub-forum.

I trust you realize you have just broken the rules...

 

[ecofarm]

I trust you realize you have just broken the rules...

I don't think so. Mentioning the Basement (with absolutely no reference beyond generic avertisement) is legal. I wanna be sure, so, we'll see.

 

[ecofarm]

About changing attitudes, I had one major change in the previous decade. I was a militant atheist (self-aware and described/identified, in a forum title even). I now believe that the oppression of metaphysical expression is low-class (anyone with an extra penny in their pocket has pondered the unknown) and authoritarian (because it's kinda like 'stfu'/anti-free speech).

 

[MaggieD]

I don't think so. Mentioning the Basement (with absolutely no reference beyond generic avertisement) is legal. I wanna be sure, so, we'll see.

Mea culpa. You are correct. (I checked.)

 

[jambalaya]

Thanks all, I am learning a great deal from everyone here.
You all are the best.

I see you are practicing already.

 

[Mycroft]

I changed my altitude big time when I moved from Bremerhaven, Germany to Colorado Springs, Colorado.

Oh...wait...

Never mind.

 

[joko104]

I have had to change my values, instincts and actions more than I could ever explain as my life changed from one culture to another and then still another.

From my childhood, fundamental survival questions were the essential, if not only, relevant decisions I had to make - and had to make them. The way I change is upon recognizing that the quality of my life improves if I do, and not if I don't - in tangible or intangible ways I may not directly see. For some, though, it was as simple as doing so to avoid prison or being fired.

 

[joko104]

About changing attitudes, I had one major change in the previous decade. I was a militant atheist (self-aware and described/identified, in a forum title even). I now believe that the oppression of metaphysical expression is low-class (anyone with an extra penny in their pocket has pondered the unknown) and authoritarian (because it's kinda like 'stfu'/anti-free speech).

Wow, did that just fly right over my head.

 

[Mach]

About changing attitudes, I had one major change in the previous decade. I was a militant atheist (self-aware and described/identified, in a forum title even). I now believe that the oppression of metaphysical expression is low-class (anyone with an extra penny in their pocket has pondered the unknown) and authoritarian (because it's kinda like 'stfu'/anti-free speech).

Interesting isn't it, I was about to type somethign similar on the current atheism/socialism thread.

It's interesting to me from a philosphical viewpoint for that exact reason. Identifying a truth and living by it may have virtues.
However if you're fairly realistic and broad in how you define such virtues, two things may be logically true:

1. Some aspects/outcomes of religion also have virtues
2. If taken to a staunch militant atheistic approach (ad hom, attacking based on belief, etc.), those actions may specifically NOT be virtuous. And, they may be some of the same non-virtuous traits one previously used to oppose religion.

In other worlds, I think there is a good argument to make that your conclusion, is logically consistent.