Advice about a 4-1/2-year-old

[MaggieD]

If you are implying that the only effective form of discipline is physical violence, I disagree, and so might a number of child psychologists.

I think we must agree to disagree upon the use of corporal punishment, however you do have a point inasmuch as different things work differently with different children. I have a low boredom threshold, so time out in my room worked wonders with me. And remember, I was speaking of a time when I was like five - not so very much more mature than a four-and-a-half year old.

I'd like to think that if I'd had children, I would have had little use for corporal punishment. When I was growing up, I can count on one hand the number of spankings I got. Very seldom and, as I remember, mostly in response to safety kinds of things. My dad only hit me once. He had "the look" that was far more painful.

This little boy is being raised by, effectively, his great-grandparents. (They adopted him.) They don't have an easy road. And neither does he. It pains me when I see the little guy's dad (great-grandfather) smack him (it's embarrassing for a little kid) or grab his face just a little too hard when he wants him to look at him. Combine that with hot sauce and/or soap, and it all just makes me very uncomfortable.

We were with them a few weeks ago at a party with 35 people. Little guy was there, all dressed up in a little suit and tie, dress shoes. He was SUCH a good boy!!!!! After about two hours of "angel," though, he'd had it, and I could see he was workin' on a spankin'. I took him outside to run around for 20 minutes or so, then Tommy Boy took him out for same, then another uncle did the same. So, for the last hour at the party, he got to let off some kinetic energy/steam. I was never so happy to see a little boy succeed!!

I'm rootin' for the little guy!!

 

[jamesrage]

If you are implying that the only effective form of discipline is physical violence, I disagree,

When it comes to little kids a swat on the butt is the most effective thing.On older kids a time out,standing in the corner, or taking away a toy(depending on how much they really love that toy) might be more effective.

and so might a number of child psychologists.

And I am sure most of those people have never raised a kid or had any part in raising a child or they they bleeding heart idiots who think spankings are abuse or that you shouldn't hurt little Jimmy's self esteem.

I think we must agree to disagree upon the use of corporal punishment, however you do have a point inasmuch as different things work differently with different children. I have a low boredom threshold, so time out in my room worked wonders with me. And remember, I was speaking of a time when I was like five - not so very much more mature than a four-and-a-half year old.

Now days sending kids to their room is a joke.They have TVs, computers, phones, and toys in their room.

 

[MaggieD]

Now days sending kids to their room is a joke.They have TVs, computers, phones, and toys in their room.

This reminds me of a story a friend of ours tells. When his daughter was a teenager, she had the habit of going into her bedroom and slamming the door on her mom and dad. The defiance in the gesture just drove them to distraction. Her dad finally said, "Just one more time, Denise. One more time." Well, they didn't have to wait long. So, true to his warning?

Her dad removed her bedroom door.

 

[Superfly]

Nice. You have to be creative when doling out punishment. At least with my kids, you do. My middle daughter is on internet lockdown, but my youngest? She's normally well behaved, but is kind of lazy and doesn't want to do anything. Wants to laze around the house, doing nothing. My argument with her is I want her up, and outside, getting some sun, playing with the other kids. So we have reached a compromise. She goes outside and plays, and gets some sun and gets off her butt, I give her the wifi password.