War Stories

What I am after are humorous, service related anecdotes. I know there are many members who have heard shots fired in anger; I have not. I served from 1972-1975, the last two years as a radio operator/section chief in the 3/4 ADA attached to the 82nd ABN Div.


I did basic at Ft. Ord, now a park or something, and AIT was at the Southeastern Signal School, at Ft. Gordon, near Augusta, GA. While at Gordon, I drew guard duty and was assigned a post at one of the motor pools on post. I was issued a primitive club with a wrist cord. It gets cold in GA in February! I found a hut inside the wire and tried to keep warm. I was relieved at the appropriate time and that was that.

Later that year I was stationed at Ft. Bragg; again, I drew guard duty. This time my post was the main PX. This time i was issued a pump shotgun and three rounds of ammunition. We were dealing with a different threat here. Anyhow there were no incidents and i was relieved on time.

The differences in the issued weapons was a stark reminder of the different threat levels.

Rexedgar said:

What I am after are humorous, service related anecdotes. I know there are many members who have heard shots fired in anger; I have not. I served from 1972-1975, the last two years as a radio operator/section chief in the 3/4 ADA attached to the 82nd ABN Div.


I did basic at Ft. Ord, now a park or something, and AIT was at the Southeastern Signal School, at Ft. Gordon, near Augusta, GA. While at Gordon, I drew guard duty and was assigned a post at one of the motor pools on post. I was issued a primitive club with a wrist cord. It gets cold in GA in February! I found a hut inside the wire and tried to keep warm. I was relieved at the appropriate time and that was that.

Later that year I was stationed at Ft. Bragg; again, I drew guard duty. This time my post was the main PX. This time i was issued a pump shotgun and three rounds of ammunition. We were dealing with a different threat here. Anyhow there were no incidents and i was relieved on time.

The differences in the issued weapons was a stark reminder of the different threat levels.

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Somalia. Baledogal forward base. Snake shows up in the enlisted tent. Our heros used sticks and yelling to keep snake detained. Sgt. L shows up fresh from the "showers" and faces said snake. By this time the snake's patience was exhausted. He rears up, flares his hood, and spits in in Sgt L's eyes.

Yep. A cobra. Helo-lifted him to Mogadishu, then flew to Germany.

Good news. Sgt L regained his eyesight. Bad news. Snake escaped.

When I went to NTC in 2017 I was assigned to this ****ty BSB from 1SBCT out of Alaskia, 25th ID. We were about to hop to our next site when they took all our blank ammo (which when fired would sort of activate the MILES gear we were using, basically ****ty laser tag) and suddenly the OPFOR popped out of nowhere, and we were expected to somehow fight back with no ammo.

Long story short I wielded by rifle like a club and then got safety killed by the OpFor. Officially recorded as a bayonet kill.

Fledermaus said:

Somalia. Baledogal forward base. Snake shows up in the enlisted tent. Our heros used sticks and yelling to keep snake detained. Sgt. L shows up fresh from the "showers" and faces said snake. By this time the snake's patience was exhausted. He rears up, flares his hood, and spits in in Sgt L's eyes.

Yep. A cobra. Helo-lifted him to Mogadishu, then flew to Germany.

Good news. Sgt L regained his eyesight. Bad news. Snake escaped.

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Snake - 1
United states army - 0

Jredbaron96 said:

When I went to NTC in 2017 I was assigned to this ****ty BSB from 1SBCT out of Alaskia, 25th ID. We were about to hop to our next site when they took all our blank ammo (which when fired would sort of activate the MILES gear we were using, basically ****ty laser tag) and suddenly the OPFOR popped out of nowhere, and we were expected to somehow fight back with no ammo.

Long story short I wielded by rifle like a club and then got safety killed by the OpFor. Officially recorded as a bayonet kill.

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Tap the sensor at the front of the miles gear. Also works for ninja kills.

A friend once popped CS in a big remf tent at the joint readiness training center.

ecofarm said:

Tap the sensor at the front of the miles gear. Also works for ninja kills.

A friend once popped CS in a big remf tent at the joint readiness training center.

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My best bud and I shared the back of a Gamma Goat, look it up; we slung shelter halves as hammocks. The ‘aggressors’ attacked us sometime after lights out with CS. My bud found my gas mask before he found his and I was left to the wet tee shirt routine.

Jredbaron96 said:

When I went to NTC in 2017 I was assigned to this ****ty BSB from 1SBCT out of Alaskia, 25th ID. We were about to hop to our next site when they took all our blank ammo (which when fired would sort of activate the MILES gear we were using, basically ****ty laser tag) and suddenly the OPFOR popped out of nowhere, and we were expected to somehow fight back with no ammo.

Long story short I wielded by rifle like a club and then got safety killed by the OpFor. Officially recorded as a bayonet kill.

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I have no clue.......

KevinKohler said:

Snake - 1
United states army - 0

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Correction... USMC. We were the ones "liberating" 10th Mountain equipment.

Rexedgar said:

My best bud and I shared the back of a Gamma Goat, look it up; we slung shelter halves as hammocks. The ‘aggressors’ attacked us sometime after lights out with CS. My bud found my gas mask before he found his and I was left to the wet tee shirt routine.

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We might wanna have the title changed to 'training stories'. Most guys that have been in it don't wanna talk about it at some forum.

In basic, I faked a CS attack to breach a wired roadblock. We were supposed to dismount the deuce and take out the flanking positions and pull the wire. But they were too many with huge foxholes on either side. When I heard miles gear on the other side of the truck, I yelled "gas!" and started faking gagging and choking then yelled "your ****ing masks on!". Then I got the guys in my side's bunker (as they fumbled with masks), pulled the wire and snuck away as a drill sergeant yelled at people wearing masks nearby. I thought about shooting them but wanted to live and did. The truck took HQ.

ecofarm said:

We might wanna have the title changed to 'training stories'. Most guys that have been in it don't wanna talk about it at some forum.

In basic, I faked a CS attack to breach a wired roadblock. We were supposed to dismount the deuce and take out the flanking positions and pull the wire. But they were too many with huge foxholes on either side. When I heard miles gear on the other side of the truck, I yelled "gas!" and started faking gagging and choking then yelled "your ****ing masks on!". Then I got the guys in my side's bunker (as they fumbled with masks), pulled the wire and snuck away with a drill sergeant yelling at people nearby.

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I thought I made it pretty clear in the OP......

Rexedgar said:

I thought I made it pretty clear in the OP......

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Oh, good.

More pathetic than humorous...

Gulf War...in the middle of nowhere Saudi Arabia. This was were we set up after getting our trucks and equipment at the port. We had a female Company Commander (nothing against female leaders...it's just this particular one) and she didn't want to issue anyone ammunition.

Now...imagine the two entrances to our AO (Area of Operations)...serpentine...that means you can't drive straight through, but have to slow down drastically and wind back and forth to get in...and the guard post is a bunker with an M60 on a tripod mount, the three guards have M16's...and nobody has ammunition. Hell, there weren't even any rocks around to throw if someone decided to enter and fire us up.

The Acting 1st SGT...an E7...didn't like the Commander's position and complained to the Battalion CSM. We ended up losing that Commander and the Acting 1st SGT...got a new Captain out of Battalion and an E8 1st SGT. And everyone got ammo.

It turns out that female Captain had heard stories from 'Nam about soldiers fragging their Officers and thought that might happen to her. We never found out what happened to her or that E7.

Mycroft said:

More pathetic than humorous...

Gulf War...in the middle of nowhere Saudi Arabia. This was were we set up after getting our trucks and equipment at the port. We had a female Company Commander (nothing against female leaders...it's just this particular one) and she didn't want to issue anyone ammunition.

Now...imagine the two entrances to our AO (Area of Operations)...serpentine...that means you can't drive straight through, but have to slow down drastically and wind back and forth to get in...and the guard post is a bunker with an M60 on a tripod mount, the three guards have M16's...and nobody has ammunition. Hell, there weren't even any rocks around to throw if someone decided to enter and fire us up.

The Acting 1st SGT...an E7...didn't like the Commander's position and complained to the Battalion CSM. We ended up losing that Commander and the Acting 1st SGT...got a new Captain out of Battalion and an E8 1st SGT. And everyone got ammo.

It turns out that female Captain had heard stories from 'Nam about soldiers fragging their Officers and thought that might happen to her. We never found out what happened to her or that E7.

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Capt. Roy Moore used to sleep on a sandbag rig to avoid a friendly rolling a grenade under his cot........

Rexedgar said:

Capt. Roy Moore used to sleep on a sandbag rig to avoid a friendly rolling a grenade under his cot........

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I have experience in Viet Nam. I can see how that kind of thing could be a concern. Lots of issues...draftees who don't want to be there, Officers not giving a **** about their soldiers, pot heads, drunks, soldiers pretty much feeling like cannon fodder.

But none of that really applied by the time the Gulf War rolled around. We were a pretty professional bunch.

Mycroft said:

I have experience in Viet Nam. I can see how that kind of thing could be a concern. Lots of issues...draftees who don't want to be there, Officers not giving a **** about their soldiers, pot heads, drunks, soldiers pretty much feeling like cannon fodder.

But none of that really applied by the time the Gulf War rolled around. We were a pretty professional bunch.

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Viet Nam ended in 1975 and the 1st Gulf War was 1990-1991,you musta been an old salt.?

Rexedgar said:

Viet Nam ended in 1975 and the 1st Gulf War was 1990-1991,you musta been an old salt.?

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I was one of a handful of Vietnam vets in my unit.

In my last unit, a tall tales contest started, over the (non-existent) "Sergeant Clay". This was years before the Chuck Norris thing. Some of the ones I remember:

1. Sgt Clay push-started a Bradley.
2. Sgt Clay was a door gunner on the space shuttle. He heard Mars was red, wanted to kick some ass.
3. Sgt Clay ate a grenade to save his squad.
4. Sgt Clay can do the 15 count manual of arms with a Peacekeeper Missile.

Mycroft said:

I was one of a handful of Vietnam vets in my unit.

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We had two Vietnam vets in my BT company in '81. One came in as a PV2 and the other a PFC. Both were immediately made platoon leaders by the cadre. I have to say they took their lumps right alongside the rest of us all the way through Basic. One evening though, I happened to walk past the Drill Sgt office and one of them was in there with the duty Drill Sgt, drinking coffee and laughing and joking.

At Ft Knox where I was an instructor, our shop had a large loading dock in the back overlooking a nicely manicured lawn. There were groundhogs made their home in that lawn area. Woodchucks.

There was a DOD civilian who worked in the same building or maybe one close by. He was an older guy and was either Russian or some Eastern European country. Heavy accent anyway and a helluva nice guy. He was in the habit of coming through our shop and taking his lunch on that loading dock when the weather was nice.

Early one morning the Post Pest Control showed up on that lawn, stopped up the groundhog holes-save one- and ran a pipe from the exhaust of their truck into that last hole. They left after an hour or so. Mission accomplished.

The old accent guy showed up at lunch that day and made his way out to the loading dock. Within five minutes he was back in, buttonholing one of our civilian instructors.

Now you have to imagine the thick near-Boris Bedenov accent:

"What happen to them groundhogs out there?

Instructor shrugs: "They killed them."

"Kill them? How they kill them?"

"Gassed 'em"

GAS THEM?!? WHO RUN 'DIS PLACE ANYWAY? GOTTDAMN KGB?!?!?

Those of us there were still uncharitably laughing as he stormed out.

RF667799 said:

We had two Vietnam vets in my BT company in '81. One came in as a PV2 and the other a PFC. Both were immediately made platoon leaders by the cadre. I have to say they took their lumps right alongside the rest of us all the way through Basic. One evening though, I happened to walk past the Drill Sgt office and one of them was in there with the duty Drill Sgt, drinking coffee and laughing and joking.

Click to expand...

Been there, done that...though not quite in the same way.

I had an eight year break in service. Had to do Basic all over again. But this time I knew what was what.

I was the only one in my unit...to include the Drill Sergeants...who had a combat patch. I had more ribbons on my Class A uniform than any of my Drill Sergeants...one of mine being a Silver Star. I let them cut my hair short, but I kept my mustache...always within regs, of course. I was the platoon guide. I wasn't intimidated by the Drill Sergeants and, for all but one, they recognized that...but they also realized that my example helped their efforts. Except for one or two, my platoon members respected me. LOL!! Maybe it was me showing them how to really spit shine their boots.

But I never socialized with my Drill Sergeants. I spent my time with my platoon. I was one of them.

One Drill Sergeant...an E5...didn't like me. He didn't like that he couldn't intimidate me. One night, he made my whole platoon do PT for almost two hours. We all endured. The next day, my Platoon Sergeant...an E6...told that Drill Sergeant...in front of the whole platoon...to NEVER do anything like that again. That Drill Sergeant left me and my platoon alone from then on.

The thing I hated most was being the one to assign my platoon members to details. I didn't have a duty roster. I had to do it mostly in my head. I was always worried about making a mistake and not keeping it fair. Heck, I probably assigned myself to details more than I should have because of that fear.

I got a different MOS that second time around and when I got to AIT, I asked them to make someone else the platoon guide. I just wanted to be one of the students.

Mycroft said:

I have experience in Viet Nam. I can see how that kind of thing could be a concern. Lots of issues...draftees who don't want to be there, Officers not giving a **** about their soldiers, pot heads, drunks, soldiers pretty much feeling like cannon fodder.

But none of that really applied by the time the Gulf War rolled around. We were a pretty professional bunch.

Click to expand...

I'm a Vietnam Vet as well. When were you there?

Mycroft said:

Been there, done that...though not quite in the same way.

I had an eight year break in service. Had to do Basic all over again. But this time I knew what was what.

I was the only one in my unit...to include the Drill Sergeants...who had a combat patch. I had more ribbons on my Class A uniform than any of my Drill Sergeants...one of mine being a Silver Star. I let them cut my hair short, but I kept my mustache...always within regs, of course. I was the platoon guide. I wasn't intimidated by the Drill Sergeants and, for all but one, they recognized that...but they also realized that my example helped their efforts. Except for one or two, my platoon members respected me. LOL!! Maybe it was me showing them how to really spit shine their boots.

But I never socialized with my Drill Sergeants. I spent my time with my platoon. I was one of them.

One Drill Sergeant...an E5...didn't like me. He didn't like that he couldn't intimidate me. One night, he made my whole platoon do PT for almost two hours. We all endured. The next day, my Platoon Sergeant...an E6...told that Drill Sergeant...in front of the whole platoon...to NEVER do anything like that again. That Drill Sergeant left me and my platoon alone from then on.

The thing I hated most was being the one to assign my platoon members to details. I didn't have a duty roster. I had to do it mostly in my head. I was always worried about making a mistake and not keeping it fair. Heck, I probably assigned myself to details more than I should have because of that fear.

I got a different MOS that second time around and when I got to AIT, I asked them to make someone else the platoon guide. I just wanted to be one of the students.

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I said they were made platoon leaders but yeah, I recall they were actually referred to as platoon guides.

Risky Thicket said:

I'm a Vietnam Vet as well. When were you there?

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Dec. '69 - Dec. '70 and Aug. '71 - Aug. '72.

I spent that second tour mostly dealing with the withdrawal of forces.

Mycroft said:

Dec. '69 - Dec. '70 and Aug. '71 - Aug. '72.

I spent that second tour mostly dealing with the withdrawal of forces.

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My tour was Feb. 69 - Feb. 70.

ecofarm said:

We might wanna have the title changed to 'training stories'. Most guys that have been in it don't wanna talk about it at some forum.

In basic, I faked a CS attack to breach a wired roadblock. We were supposed to dismount the deuce and take out the flanking positions and pull the wire. But they were too many with huge foxholes on either side. When I heard miles gear on the other side of the truck, I yelled "gas!" and started faking gagging and choking then yelled "your ****ing masks on!". Then I got the guys in my side's bunker (as they fumbled with masks), pulled the wire and snuck away as a drill sergeant yelled at people wearing masks nearby. I thought about shooting them but wanted to live and did. The truck took HQ.

Click to expand...

In college Rotc at Ft. Dix NJ on weekend training from Princeton Rotc we had what was then -- circa 1964 -- CBR training, ie, Chemical, Biological, Radiological warfare now called CBRN for Nuclear.

Outside in the field in the grandstand type seating in a class session with the E-7 nco teaching the class of CBR some frantic voice suddenly came out of nowhere yelling GAAASS!!!

Jump to our feet and whip out our mask from the pouch and slap it on in a panic while the nco tried so hard not to LHFAO looking at us. The nco cadre did this twice on the Friday evening and twice more Saturday morning during classes or breaks (smoke 'em if you got 'em back then).

Saturday after we finished the slop SOS lunch in metal trays we were sitting on the grass killing time till the next class and then the gas chambers afterward. Suddenly we heard all this popping going off and when we looked we saw it was real gas coming out of the latrine ha. Cadets were running out of the latrine pulling up their fatigue trousers choking and gagging as nco all around us were yelling GAS !!! ha. It was in fact real tear gas this time ha and with no prior warning bless 'em.

We on the grass were just sitting around in our plain fatigues as our masks and equipment were over with the stacked rifles so the whole of the company of cadets shot up onto our feet to stampede for our masks in the equipment. Pity your cadet buddy in front of you if he wasn't hauling his own ass fast enough. There were some injuries (minor) but hey war is hell innit.

Never mind anyway cause it's the kind of thingy you chalked up to good training by our nco cadre luv 'em for it and for their diabolical sense of humor combined with their obligation and duty to train us well which is what they did do exactly bless 'em all.

As for the Nuclear we didn't have any instruction about or get trained in given the Cold War and MAD, it was simply bend over and kiss your ass good-bye cause there was just nuthin to do about it. Indeed, nobody ever mentioned it realistically.